Why is life making me suffer? I used to ask myself this very question, as I always seemed to be in some form of suffering. Yes, I would have some good days along the way, but I spent most of my time unhappy and always seemed to be worrying about something or other. Life just …
Allowing your anxious energy is not a technique to get rid of or suppress your anxiety. You can’t destroy energy and suppressing it just keeps it within. The way to be free of this energy is to allow it fully. You think you want liberation from this anxious energy, when the truth is, it wants liberation from you. This is why it keeps coming up; it wants to be free of you, just as much as you want to be free of it.
Allowing yourself to feel the built-up anxious energy
Most people never allow themselves to feel this energy, they avoid places/situations, drink too much, over exercise, take drugs/medication, distract themselves in activities, they search the net for ways to get rid of it, look for gurus, try to perfect techniques, fight, suppress, spend all day in their heads trying to feel different. By doing the above most people get worse, as there is nothing more mentally draining and exhausting than always being at war with yourself, it is like lashing out at an invisible enemy that you have no chance of ever defeating.
Also, all this resisting, the constant struggle is the leading cause of your suffering. The absolute best you can do is force some temporary peace, but then the energy goes nowhere, so the problems persist and the constant search for temporary peace continues. Whatever you constantly try to suppress will always keep on knocking until you finally give up your pointless pursuit for temporary peace and allow its presence within you.
Many people spend their lives in this loop; I did for ten years until I finally realised the only thing I had not done was allow myself to feel the way I did. When I looked into this approach deeply, then it made utter sense to me why this would free me of this energy that I had done everything to try and avoid feeling. It made sense how much struggle and resistance would fall away, how much more of a break my poor and overworked mind would get, how much wasted brain energy it would free up. How, if I wasn’t so concentrated on fixing me, then my awareness could go back on life, and I would start to feel more real. It made sense to me that this was the only way forward.
It wasn’t the day I recovered, as I still had so much anxious and fearful energy to release and for a while things heightened, as now I was fully open to feeling how I did. It was like opening a tap, and everything that I had suppressed came rushing up, which wasn’t always pleasant to face. But I truly understood the process that was happening; I didn’t see it as a bad thing anymore, I didn’t think I was regressing on any given bad day. In fact, quite the opposite, I saw it as my body finally releasing what needed to be released, I saw it as a step nearer to being free of anxiety and finally realised a major key on how to recover from anxiety.
Why we fight and suppress feelings of anxiety
The main two reasons people go back to fighting/suppressing is because the brains automatic reaction is to try and fight off uncomfortable feelings. Because these actions are only counterproductive and will never free you of anxiety, it is essential that you/your brain needs to understand that feeling this anxious energy is a good thing. That when you are free of this anxious energy, then all that is left is peace, which is your natural state.
The other reason is many people don’t have the patience to go through this process; they wrongly assume that once they understand something, then their suffering should be over and if something doesn’t work instantly, then they go back to searching for temporary peace. I figured out that I could either allow myself to go through a few months of discomfort and be free or spend a lifetime trying to find temporary peace and get nowhere.
A lot of people will say to me ‘Yes, but it is not the anxious energy that is the problem, it is going to a supermarket, driving etc, that is the problem’ my reply is ‘No, these places are not the cause of your anxiety, they are just triggering the anxious energy that is within. If you were free of this anxious energy, then you would not feel such a reaction to normal situations’.
If the problem were in these places, then everyone would feel this way, the truth is, they don’t. So don’t put the problem on the location or situation you find yourself in, the problem is not there, that is just a trigger for what is within. The problem is never on the outside, the problem is within. So there is no reason to avoid these places. See them as a place that triggers in you what needs to be released and allow the reaction.
Being free of anxious energy is what recovery is all about
When you are free of this stored up anxious/fear energy, then you will only get anxious/fearful when you are in real danger. We need this reaction to keep us safe and protect us. The problem only occurs when we accumulate too much of this energy (usually through a prolonged period of worry and stress), and we feel it in everyday situations or as a constant feeling. When you feel anxious for no reason then nothing has gone wrong, nothing needs to be fixed or defeated, it is just a clear wake-up call to allow this energy to be felt and as uncomfortable as it is to do so, this process is precisely what will set you free.