How to recover from anxiety
There is a question I get asked very often and that is ‘How do I recover from anxiety and is it possible?’ The answer is a definite yes. I have lost count of the number of people who have gone on to fully recover from anxiety. All it takes is a little patience and a true understanding, not only of what creates these anxious feelings, but also what keeps you in the cycle.
I was one of those people who went through anxiety attacks for so long that I thought I would just have to live with it. I had tried so many different treatments and began to give up all hope. Luckily, I persevered and decided to go away and find my own answers. For once I stopped throwing money at all these miracle cures and decided to educate myself as much as possible on the subject. I was tired of talking to therapists and counsellors who promised so much, yet delivered so little. I was fed up of being pushed from one doctor to another. I no longer wanted another prescription to try and make my anxiety just go away; I just wanted proper answers.
What I found was someone who was knowledgeable on the subject and was able to not only help me move forward but also point me in the right direction with my own studies. I was then able to lead myself back to recovery from anxiety in the right way. The most important thing I did learn, was that the most helpful knowledge comes from going through it and coming out the other side. The only people I have ever respected on the subject all went through it and came out the other side. There is no better education.
The main thing I realised, is that it takes a true understanding of anxiety and how we feel, so as to move forward in the right way. You can’t recover while your day is full of worry and fear brought on through a lack of understanding of why you feel the way you do or by trying to think and fight your way better.
This is why people rarely move forward with medication; as it is just a crutch, a plaster to treat symptoms and not the cut out the root of the problem and I didn’t want to treat symptoms for the rest of my life. I wanted to know what was causing me to feel the way I did and work on that. The truth is, the real cure comes from within. Too many people want the instant fix which just does not exist and want someone else to do it for them. This is why many people spend years going from one treatment to another and get nowhere.
My own Recovery from anxiety was like finding my way out of a maze
I spent years getting worse because at one time I had no information or knowledge on the subject and my whole day was filled with fear and worry. I spent all day going around in circles in my mind trying to find answers, as I had no idea what was wrong with me. This was the very reason I got worse and not better. I was adding so much worry and stress to a body and mind that was crying out for a break.
The knowledge I gained, helped me to not only understand what was wrong with me but also to understand what was holding me back and keeping me in the cycle of anxiety. Once I understood why I felt like I did, then the whole battle with started to fall away. This gave my mind and body the space and freedom it needed to heal itself. There was also no more need for the constant running around in my mind, trying to figure it all out. This gave my overworked mind a break, which in turn helped it to regain its clarity and I was able to think more clearly.
Recovery also came because, for once, I trusted in my own mind and body to repair itself, I stopped trying to do it myself. I also stopped looking for that outside miracle cure or that magic pill that would make it all go away. I gave my body as much time and space as it needed to recover. This is the way to recover. Through my years of helping people, I have yet to meet someone who recovered overnight or in a week.
This is why I wrote the book ‘At Last a Life’ so as to give people a far better understanding of their condition. Just explaining a certain symptom can take away so much fear and worry. I get some lovely emails thanking me for writing the book. So many people say they feel able to cope so much better after reading it and many message me a few months later to excitedly tell me how much progress they have made.
The Stigma of Anxiety
A lot of people buy the book and tell me to write private on the package; their family members don’t know and they would rather keep it to themselves. This is a really sad side of the anxiety condition, the stigma that seems to go with it. If you have a cold, everyone has heard of this and you get a little sympathy, but anxiety is different. How can you be anxious? Pull yourself together, It’s all in your head.
These are just some of the comments that people may have heard. When we suffer, it really is the last thing we need to hear, we need time and understanding to be able to move forward and not to be put under more pressure. If you have an understanding partner then all well and good. If you feel they do not understand, then why not let them take a look at the website or if you have the book, you could tell them to just have a read through it. I said to my family, “You may not understand, but just believe me and give me my space”.
Recovery from anxiety comes through knowledge, courage and patience
Recovery finally comes through a shift in attitude, mainly through knowledge. Once you understand why you feel like you do, you are no longer bewildered and thrown by how you feel. There is no longer a need to worry and investigate your symptoms. This, in turn, gives your mind and body the break it needs. I can honestly say I could feel all my symptoms again tomorrow and, although they would be unpleasant, I would just carry on with my day with them alongside me. I would not attempt to fight or suppress them. There would be no deep thinking, no trying to figure them out, no trying to change my experience, no fighting or acting my way through the day and no going over and over how I felt, questioning everything all day – basically, all the things I once did that kept me in the cycle of anxiety.
The truth is, you as a person can’t do anything about the way you feel, try being sober when you are drunk and you get the idea. Trying to change or suppress of you feel, just takes tremendous effort that is completely wasted. With the constant resistance and mental effort it exerts, you just end up feeling much worse. You need to understand that your mind and body does not want your interference, it has to go through this process to heal, so trying to put a stop to feeling uncomfortable is having the opposite effect, you are not letting the healing process take place. This is such an important point to understand.
I basically had a breakdown and that is what it is. Your body is being overloaded with worry and stress; this is why you feel so tired and spent and why your mind seems so tired and fragile. It has just been pushed beyond its capabilities and is crying out for a break. But what does it really get? Well, we then feel the symptoms of anxiety/stress and we worry even more, “Why do I feel like this?”, and “What is wrong with me”? We may spend all our waking moments trying to fight and think our way better, spending days going over and over how we feel and trying to find a way out of this hell, which in turn just brings more stress and worry to the mix.
This is basically the simple truth of why so many never find a way out as they are in the classic anxiety cycle. If someone had actually told me this early on it would have saved me so much suffering. I was just shifted from one doctor to the next, from one counsellor to the next one who just felt the need to dig up my past. I was never given any explanation and this I feel is something that needs to really change, the first person you go and see with anxiety is so important to what path you take in your recovery.
I only recently saw a post on twitter that was shared 100 times saying ‘You can never recover from anxiety, you can only manage it’ then another saying ‘Anxiety is a chemical imbalance in the brain and so medication is the only answer’ I honestly can’t believe what I read sometimes and this is why the internet can be great resource or a great hindrance, depending on the information you come across.
Recovery is within everyone
To finish, I would like to tell each and every one of you that you can recover, if anyone tells you otherwise, then trust me they have no clue about the subject and are just regurgitating what they have read elsewhere. We are all built the same way and we all heal the same, as long as we know what we need to do to heal recovery is there for everyone. I spent so many years doing everything I should not have done and this was the only reason I stayed stuck for so long. It was only when I did the opposite that massive changes started to take place.
And don’t be tempted by any claims to cure you overnight. These people are usually just there to take your money fast. I should know, I threw enough money at them and I have come across so many horror stories in my line of work. If this instant cure existed then the whole world would know about it and doctors’ surgeries would be half empty, if it truly was out there, then trust me you wouldn’t have to keep searching for it. Recovery comes through knowledge and patience; these two things will get you to the place you want to be. Your body and mind is waiting and wanting to recover, believe me, it keeps trying to, but through a lack of understanding we allow it to do so.
Read here to find out why we first suffer from anxiety