Recovery from Depersonalisation / Derealisation
Well this post was changed from another subject to this as it seems to be a hot topic at the moment and I am going to be very honest about depersonalisation here and try and help people who are still bewildered by it. I will hold nothing back and tell my whole story and the truth behind it.
Firstly lets just refresh ourselves with Depersonalisation and why we have it.
Lets start by saying that D.P is not just an anxiety symptom. I have read a hell of a lot on the subject and people who have been to war can suffer. People who have lost a love one can suffer temporary from it. People who had something happen to them early in their life, that really hurt or shocked them can suffer bouts of D.P. Many people who don’t suffer from anxiety have D.P, although I would say anxiety would be the main reason. So lets go back to person who went to war and saw things that shocked him and he would rather forget. D.P is his bodies way of shutting down these memorys and feelings, to block them out and protect him. Of course these are isolated cases, but they do happen and I have read of a few cases. The second where someone may have lost a loved one, have you ever seen that blank look, as though they are not really listening, they are somewhere else. Again a few people who have lost loved ones can have temporary D.P. It is again the bodies way of protecting them from all the hurt and worry and just like anxiety sufferers they may begin to think very deeply. Once the hurt and pain weakens, they tend to become their old selves again and the D.P leaves them. The D.P is not needed to protect them from all the hurt and pain anymore. The last one where someone may have had something happen to them earlier in their life. Again they may get bouts of D.P to surpress these memories, to shut out the hurt.
Now lets move on to anxiety and why people suffer with D.P, and why it is only natural that you will. I had anxiety for about two years before I had any symptoms of D.P. I showed no symptoms at all, until how I felt bothered me more and more. I was been moved from one doctor to another and nothing was working. This was about the time I thought I will have to figure it out for myself. So I worried daily about how I felt, spent 12 hours a day trying to figure a way out of this mess, spent my whole day feeling sorry for myself, on the verge of tears at every waking moment. Day after day this went on, until one day I went home and as I was stroking my dog I felt as though I was not really there, my vision seemed blurred and I had no idea what was happening. What happened that day is my body said enough is enough, I cannot take this worry and deep thinking anymore and to protect me, and you, I have to shut your emotions down. And it did, I could feel no emotions, no happiness, no joy, the whole world went grey and lifeless and I seemed to become a walking shell. Of course it makes sense to me now that my body was protecting me. But what happened then is I began to worry about this new symptom, tried to figure not only the anxiety but this new sensation of feeling lost and empty. What was happening to me? I was more bewildered than ever. I spent my time now getting worse, I really had entered the cycle that would pull me in deeper. If I had known or been taught about D.P before I suffered then I would have known the reason why it was happening and would not have wasted years trying to figure it out or worrying about it daily, sinking deeper and deeper into the condition.
You see that is why people with anxiety devolp D.P, it is all the worrying and deep thinking about the intial anxiety that brings on the D.P. There is no more explaining needed to be done and this is the reason why. You are not unique and it just shows how popular this subject is and how many people who suffer with anxiety go on to develop D.P. It is the number one thing talked about on here and I receive more emails about it than any other symptom.
So how did I come through my own D.P?
Well before I give a list of things that saw me through, I want to say to everyone and be honest……
It did take a while, there are no quick fixes.
D.P left me when it realised that it was no longer needed. When would this be? When I stopped the deep thinking (trying to figure it all out) When I stopped the daily worrying and feeling sorry for myself. While I was in this cycle, nothing was going to change, it makes total sense that while I did worry and obsess, then my body would carry on protecting me, more worry, more need to protect. Only when this was reversed would it ease. Now a lot of habits had built up and yes worrying and obsessing had become a habit, but I allowed this habit to be there, but I added no more worry and stopped trying to figure it all out daily, what would be would be. The attention was on me for a while and D.P was still very strong, but I decided and I mean from the pit of my stomach to live with this for the time being and question it NO MORE, pay it NO MIND. Not do this for a week and think ‘Oh it has not gone I must try and fix it’ or start questioning it all over again ‘Oh should I do something about it, its still there, what if its something else’ or feel sorry for myself ‘Oh I hate this, why wont it go away’ All this stopped and I TRULY accepted this feeling and understood that it was my bodies way of protecting me and I had no control over it, so it was better just to get on with my life. This is what a lot of people do, they accept it for a week or so and then become frustrted with it again or begin to question it all over again, they have never really accepted this feeling, more just put up with it. I never even thought about recovery, I just gave up and stopped worrying or fighting, questioning the feeling anymore and recovery came to me. I always say that, don’t go searching for recovery, your body will bring it to you, if you step out of the way and let it.
Here is a list of other things that really help me and I would always advise with D.P
Excercise
This is a great way of clearing the cobwebs, burning off ecess adrenalin, giving you another focus to your day, if you go running outdoors, having a dose of nature. I found this very beneficial.
Keeping away from forums and studying the subject daily.
I run this blog as I think it is great for support and the odd bit of advice. I don’t like forums, as people on there tend to wallow in the subject, drown themselves in it, trying to find that miracle answer. They end up mostly feeling worse and the subject just becomes their day. I took breaks from the subject all the time and stopped doing the google search daily. I knew to begin to feel like my old self I had to pack in as much normal living as possible. Doing normal things makes you feel part of the outside world again. I always tried to live as normal life as possible and never let how I feel stop me. Not always easy, but I am so glad I did as normallity seemed to overwrite my years of sufffering in time.
Stop obsessing and worrying, trust in yourself.
Pay this feeling no mind and this means truly just get on with your day however you feel. You are not going crazy and this feeling will go when your body feels it is no longer needed. No matter how long you have suffered with this feeling, it will pass and does no long term harm at all. Trust in what I say and trust in your own bodies natural healing system. I keep saying it, but I was worse than most who come on here. My D.P was so bad I could not hold a conversation and I came through. I don’t have one symptom now, my mind can feel a little tired at times, but I have no symptoms of D.P at all and trust me EVERYONE’S body is the same and reacts the same. I can only give advice, I cannot make people follow it and that’s the sad thing. People do believe they have something else and go down the worry cycle again, people do believe their must be a quick fix somewhere and begin to go on their merry search again. Someone once emailed me and said ‘I have read your book but my D.P is still there’ I mean did they read the same book that told them it would take time? No, again they wanted the quick answer, the miracle cure that does not exist.
I hope the above helps people and really do and try and take it on board.
For more information and advice visit my main site www.anxietynomore.co.uk
For more information on my book ‘At last a life’ visit
June 5th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
That to me is the key, trust in your own body, i for so long thought medication was the answer and although i am still taking it i realise in time that my body will start to take over and i will come off it gradually. our bodies are amazing things and we dont trust them enough. We live our lives to the minute and we want to be better quickly, such high pressure world we live in, well i am trying to take a back step and think, well my health is more important to me than anything, and by following pauls advice i am living my life that i havent lived for 8 years. My attitude is changing , and the more good habits i get into the more i realise how much i wasted.
TIME IS THE GREATEST HEALER AND ALTHOUGH WE SAY IT TO OURSELVES WE NEED TO BELIEVE IT.
I AM JUST STARTING TO JUST EXPERIENCE A DAY, AS A DAY RATHER THAN A SERIES OF EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTERS CONSTANTLY. IT FEELS GOOD.
June 5th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Lorry what you say is right ‘It is this rush to be better’ that holds us back, are body wants to regain its balance but does not want to be forced or rushed. Like a broken leg you cannot as much as you try repair it instantly, it takes a little time. We understand this with a broken leg and don’t constantly try and ‘MAKE’ it better or worry about it, question it because we understand it needs time. This is what I am asking people to understand and give it that time and not try and rush things and let recovery come to you. I know its an awful feeling at times, I am not asking you to like it, just change your attitude towards it, as you say above your attitude is changing, this also takes time, time and knowledge and going through tough times and coming through builds this attitude, nothing is achieved overnight. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away or come out with that magic sentence that would make it dissapear instantly. But the true experience is coming through the right way, it makes you appreciate things a lot more and gives you a new inner strength that cannot be broken.
Paul
June 5th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
NEVER HAVE TRUER WORDS BEEN SPOKEN, and on the odd day i feel i am human again, and trust in the knowlegde that one day it will be like that all the time helps immensely. i think i have been going on enough for now, i know i will recover and for now thats enough for me to believe in …. ME.
June 5th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
good post paul,
June 5th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Thanks for that post Paul , this subject has come up at just the right time for me , I was just about to ask for some help regarding the DP , but no need now , I’d like to say something on the subject though , later , when I have more time !
Thanx
Paul
June 5th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Paul!! A fantastic post. A calm and informative one. i wonder if the blurred vision is all part of it. Its like you see things differently with DP, know what i mean??? Its such a difficult thing to describe and i’m sure everybody suffers differently with it, some people get DP right away others take longer for it to emerge.
Lorryt, its great to believe in yourself, you r so right, and to beleive that you’re own body will heal itself. We’re just along for the ride!!!!
I hope everybody is well.
Thanks
Debbie
x
June 6th, 2008 at 12:53 am
You know you have a very good way of explaining things Paul which makes things very clear and easy to understand, as you say its an individuals choice to be able to follow the advice and interpret it in a way that means something to them. But it is a process, I have found when I read about the process and anxiety and what others have been through (on this site)it can help me to understand more and that’s why I have found your blog, together with the responses so useful.
It really does give me hope and conviction that I can come through this and make a full recovery.
Thanks
Jules
June 6th, 2008 at 2:00 am
Thank you so much for that post Paul:D I have been suffering from DP for quite a while now, and it has deffenetly been a struggle, but i know if i keep up doing the right things and having the right attitude like “whatever, I dont care if your there or not” I can fully recover. Its just the habits of deep thinking and trying to figure it out can come back sometimes, and I just think I will never get better, I will never get back to the way I felt before I had anxiety. But I know this is just my mind over reacting playing its tricks on me, and I have to accept the way im feeling no matter what, just be, and let everything flow through. This part can be hard sometimes, but I know its the way to recover. I was so happy to read this post Paul, it just motivates me so much to start doing things right, and living my life normaly again. Im just so happy I found this site, there is deffenetly no other anxiety site as good as this one. I always read your posts, you explain things so well, and they always relieve me so much and motivate me to get rid of this thing. The first time I read your site it relieved me of so much stress and worry, and made me start thinking positive. I believe im going to 100% recover eventually I just have to keep up the right attitude! Sorry this is a big reply, I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate this site Paul, and how amazing you are!
Thank you so much, and keep up the posts:D
Ryan
June 6th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Firstly welcome Ryan and I am glad you enjoy reading my posts and it means a lot that they help. I am also impressed with your positive attitude, it is hard to stay positive sometimes and it does seem to drag you back down at times, it was the same with me and these are the times when it can really test you. But these times do pass with that determination and belief that we will come through, that change of attitude to how you feel really is the first step to recovery. I went from hating, worrying, fighting to shrugging my shoulders and just getting on with my day. I know which approach worked and which had the opposite effect.
June 6th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
hi
another great and relevant post paul. i would like to bring up your comments about you being worse than many who come on this forum with respect each persons experience is subjective and i for one beleived i was the worst case ever my anxiety was acute i could not function on any level but i would say that each experience a person had is the worst for them .
samantha
June 6th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Samantha I gauge my own suffering on the many people I have to spoke with and helped over the years. It is not important how bad I was or not, I just want people to realise that no matter how far you think you have fallen that you can come through and that by telling people I was as bad if not worse than most, hopefully puts this message across.
June 6th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
Hi Paul, im new to your site, and just want to say how fascinating and helpful i’ve found it. so far im maintaining a positive attitude, and understand now what is happening to me. thankyou so much for setting it up for others who are going through anxiety.
June 7th, 2008 at 6:34 am
Hi all !
DP for me has been by far the most worrying symptom of all , before I was lucky enough to find this sight , I was in a living hell , the DP was , in my minds eye , a seperate illness altogether ! I was sure the anxiety had created some sort of mental damage to me , and to be honest I couldn’t see any way back ! I often went to the doctors for help regarding my anxiety before the DP arrived , but once it had, It consumed me and in the end it was all I ever thought about with Its overpowering sensation ! The doctors visits from there on in were all about this spaced out feeling which had taken over me , stripped me of my emmotions and ability to enjoy things , He wasnt even able to put a name to it !
The first time I read through Paul’s site , was in itself , like lifting a major weight off my shoulders ! there it was in black and white , an explanation of what I now know to be called DP , what a relief !
After about six months my DP is now no where as intense as it used to be , I dont obsess constantly about it anymore and with that it has subsided ! I think I’m at the stage now , where I’m wondering what my next stage in recovery is going to be , I’m not impatient , I’ve had this for some time now , long enough , for me to realise time isnt the issue where recovery is concerned , now I can see improvement taking place , I just feel that the process would be much more attainable without the sensations of DP , which do hold me back ! For those caught deep in the cluches of DP at the moment , be patient , It is very hard at times not to let the DP bother or effect you , but It comes with practice which will bring a change in attitude , just dont be so frightened by it and slowly your mind will begin to clear , a little bit like a MISTY MORNING, slowly turning into a BRIGHT SUNNY DAY !
Paul Mc
And yes I was up early this morning , being taxi driver to the airport !! LOL !
June 7th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Paul, I truly think this is the way out, excelent post! Don’t expect anything but go trough it while living your life the way you want to live it.
I found a great metaphor about struggling vs acceptance:
When you touch an poison Ivy you get a nasty rash that itches as hell. It’s not pleasant but sometimes it happens. It’s when you start scratching you make things worse maybe even spread the reaction to other body parts or you might end up with open sores on your skin. No amount of scratching will cure the inflammation. Altough scratching brings temporay relief, you need to stop scratching and allow your body to heal itself.
Best wishes to everyone here!
June 7th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
hi
thanks for your reply paul it answered my question perfectly.
i am still writing my book lets hope it will be an inspiration to others as your boook is you can certainly tell you advocate the work of dr claire weekes
samantha
June 8th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Have you guys ever experieced overanalyzing your entire body? How you breath, move, walk or do other things? Is this normal for someone experiencing DP? Though i dont feel dizzy, I feel so light and soft.
June 8th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
I have not posted on here before although i have read the site and blogs in full over the last few weeks. Everyones info is highly insightful and it’s comforting to know that there are other people out there with the same symptoms.
I have had anxiety for over a year, although i am now beginning to learn what i have been doing wrong. I have been fighting my symptoms, as i’m sure we all have.
I get despersonalisation quite badly. I was scared about it for a long time, thinking i was going mad, though now i am understanding how i works, i need not feel so scared. I know over time i will become less and less afraid if i don’t give it all the attention it needs.
I know that when i recover i will be such a stronger person
Best wishes to everyone here and thank you Paul for your excellent blogs
Natalie
June 9th, 2008 at 7:10 am
hi all
struggling a bit today , thoughts creeping back in and am feeling a bit low???, i know i have to stop asking why, but its the old setback thing again, not as bad as before but its gonna happen i guess, i may be repeating myself but i need to type it out!!! as it helps a lot
have a good day everyone
June 9th, 2008 at 7:17 am
Hi all,
Just wanted to say thanks to paul fpr another great post, when I think back, I think DP is something I have suffered with for many years, the feeling of being switched off, feeling no emotion, it is something ive felt on and off for as long as I can remember.
But the way paul explains it makes so much sense, which helps to take alot of the fear away.
I also like what you said markan, about the poison ivy, what a great metaphor.
I have met so many great people on this blog, and feel so lucky to have found it.
Thanks all, take care, Jo xxx
June 9th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Welcome Kim and Natalie and thank you for your kind comments, I am so glad you both enjoy hanging around and reading the posts.
Markan with the poison Ivy Quote , which I like. I have also used the picking at a scab approach. If you leave it alone it will heal, if you keep picking at it, then it will not.
Paul
June 9th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Yet another great post from Paul
I’m not sure if i have depersonalisation… i do think quite deeply at times, i did have derealization for a couple of days- that was very scary! Good job i had read about it in the book, otherwise it would be another symptom i fear which may of lingered!
Well i have took a step back from the anxiety subject, i feel a lot better for it too. It is nice to have support on this amazing blog.. but i realise now i was way to involved. All the obsessing over the anxiety filled my day with thinking about it non stop, so i am doing other things with my day…etc
I had a job interview today, i think it went really well- would be nice to start working again and having a bit of structure in my days
I would get to travel all over the UK too, which would be fun 
June 9th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
That’s great Candie, what job was that?
If you had depersonalisation you would know Candie, not everyone develops it, but at least you have the tools and knowledge now. But as I say some do, some don’t and if you fill your day with other things and with what you have learnt about not worrying and obssesing/fighting then there is little/no chance you ever will. It really is only a safety valve to protect you. People stay in the cycle because they then worry and obsess about this new sensation, that’s the key, if I had known then what I know now, then I would never have entered into that cycle.
Do keep popping in and saying hello, always missed.
Paul
June 9th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Its working as a Stock Auditor Paul, i feel ready to work now, as im over stewing at home.. it did me no good. I understand some people are that ill with thier anxiety, work is not an option, but i feel my anxiety isn’t disabling… mostly mild with bouts of high anxiety.
I do have constant mind chattering and odd thoughts, but i dont feel detatched from myself so i dont think i have depersonalisation. A couple of times i was woke up by a buzzing sound in my head, with a feeling of adrenalin shootin through my body, acompanied by pins and needles.. then i felt like everything i focussed on frightened the life out of me.. even silly things like a dressing gown lol! It was like i was dreaming. But like i say iv never had it constantly, luckily. I reckon i would of though, but i just put it down to the adrenalin cup over filling and i felt fine after a couple of days.
Hope everyone is enjoying the nice weather
June 10th, 2008 at 5:56 am
Have you guys ever experieced overanalyzing your entire body? How you breath, move, walk or do other things? Is this normal for someone experiencing DP? Though i dont feel dizzy, I feel so light and soft.
June 10th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
I think this line in Paul’s post I can relate to a lot.
“I always say that, don’t go searching for recovery, your body will bring it to you, if you step out of the way and let it.”
Back then when I was in times of despair, I said to myself that I would make some changes to my lifestyle. This included things such as eating better, exercising and better sleep patterns. The driving force of these changes was my strong desire, and obsession, to get rid of my anxious thoughts. While I did feel slightly more energetic the feelings of anxiety did not go away. So I thought after making so many good changes, why is my anxiety and depersonalization still lingering around. I would say the reason behind all this was because I was making these changes not for myself but for my anxiety.
This is where the relevance of Paul’s line comes into play. There’s a common cliche that goes: “Sometimes the best things in life go unnoticed” I think this sentence relates a lot to anxiety and that recovery does mainly go unnoticed. I think that recovery from depersonalization involves our minds not being in the self-analytical state: whether we think we are in despair or whether we think we have recovered. When we think we are in despair, then of course our feelings become magnified and we continue to search even harder from recovery. However when we begin to think we have recovered, we tend to become over analytical and we start to hyper analyze things. When in this state I find that even the slightest mishap, something we can normally just disregard such as mild stomach aches or a mild headache can pull us back into the cycle of analytical thinking. I did think to myself: If i just keep ignoring these physical symptoms, some day it will eventually catch up with me and I will regret letting go of this feeling of constant worry.
This is where the latter part of Paul’s line comes into play: Your body will bring recovery to you. This can easily be explained by our body’s natural healing abilities. When we are injured, be it a cut, a scrape or a scab, never once was our body not able to repair itself. It is completely natural that our body will recover from injuries. Wounds will be closed, scabs will fall off and eventually the affected area reverts to normal. This gives us powerful reassurance that our bodies’ ability to recover is powerful and strong.
I think the key to recovery is to not think about it, and possibly not even desire it. Because we can never really get rid of a pattern of thought. Thoughts come and thoughts go, they never really do anything except influence us, be it good or bad. We can however change our reactions to those thoughts and our feelings towards them. If we are constantly thinking and obsessing about ourselves it does not put us any closer to recovery. On the other side of the bridge however, if we think we have fully recovered, then this will do us little good as it still puts us into the cycle of analytical thinking except we are on the better half of it. Recovery is a natural thing. It does not happen when we pick at our wounds or analyze ourselves, it just happens. All it takes is a little faith.
June 10th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Good post paul…one thing i wanted to mention is that in my anxious/dp state i wanted to do things a lot faster and would rush around doing this this way, my mind would race around with me and my body and i would find it hard to talk to people because i was just paying attention to my internal thoughts or my i call my friend…this may sound crazy but i would actually respond to my thoughts and argue or agree like it they were a friend…but yesterday and into today i decided to quit listening and focus on other things…my mind will pull me back in but then i slowly re-focus on what i was doing keeping a calm mood through it all…
i always thought that if i wasn’t rushing around trying to get things done than i would never get them done…what i found by not listening or responding is that i got a lot of things done yesterday if not more than usual and was able to talk to people more and a little of my sense of humor came back…i am noticing that then i don’t pay attention to my obsessive thoughts that start the worry cycle again i have a lot of extra “energy” or adrenalin running around in my body. it seems that this has caused the faster heartbeat symptom and other symptoms to re-surface once i thought they were under control.
i’m just wondering if what i am doing is correct and will lead to recovery or is the extra “energy” in my body a result of me adding additional adrenalin to the already present adrenalin. it honestly feels like that all this extra adrenalin (first set) is habit and is released because my body thinks i need it to think deeply all day or worry over everything so when i don’t do that all this extra adrenalin is running around and just finds different ways to release which for me, on the surface, presents itself as very weird anxiety symptoms.
June 10th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Frank that is a very, very good post and exactly the points I am trying to get across. This line especially after you made some chages to your lifestyle.
While I did feel slightly more energetic the feelings of anxiety did not go away. So I thought after making so many good changes, why is my anxiety and depersonalization still lingering around. I would say the reason behind all this was because I was making these changes not for myself but for my anxiety.
I told someone the exact same thing on here a few weeks back, don’t make the changes in the hope of ridding your anxiety, do it for yourself. The reasons are because if you do then you will begin to watch for improvement, almost demand it and as you say the best changes come unoticed. I once did all of this and it was all geared to getting rid of my anxiety until I realised that I was still ‘Trying to do something about it’ and watching for changes, becoming dispondant, becoming bewildered as to why the anxiety was not leaving me. I then did the exact opposite and just made these changes for me, if it helped my anxiety then great, but I was not going to expect or demand anything. This approach helped me so much more, I never went running or ate better and then thought ‘Right how do I feel now’ this is counter productive as you are making it again the focus of you and ‘Trying to rid yourself of it’ Hence don’t go looking for recovery, it will come to you.
Again its all about building your knowledge and as you have these moments od realisation, that’s how it was for me. I was like ‘I get that now’ I see what mistake I was making.
Great post, all of it is very relevant to what I am trying to say and a great way of putting it Frank.
Pauul
June 10th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
J.R
Here is your quote:
i always thought that if i wasn’t rushing around trying to get things done than i would never get them done…what i found by not listening or responding is that i got a lot of things done yesterday if not more than usual and was able to talk to people more and a little of my sense of humor came back…i am noticing that then i don’t pay attention to my obsessive thoughts that start the worry cycle again i have a lot of extra “energy” or adrenalin running around in my body. it seems that this has caused the faster heartbeat symptom and other symptoms to re-surface once i thought they were under control.
Firstly this feeling the need to rush around is just extra adrenalin and rushing around is because you have all this extra energy, as that’s what adrenalin is ‘Fight or flight’ .Rushing around though really is running away from your feelings. The question to always ask is ‘What would I be doing if I did not feel like this?’ You would not be rushing around trying to get things done, so just let yourself feel like this and YES get on with your day, without feeling the need to tune in or respond. If you were able to talk and find a little sense of humour the other day then you have made a little breakthrough, sometimes you don’t need to ask me if you are doing anything right, the way you feel will tell you that.
On the other question of ‘If I don’t rush around etc, I feel I have a lot of extra adrenalin, energy around’ Then yes you may, as you have stopped running away from it, rushing around, trying to keep up. The faster heartbeat and other symptoms are fine and just because of a bit of extra adrenalin, that’s totally normal and that should always be your attitude, not to ‘Try and keep things under control’ trying to surpress feelings and keep them under control is not the long term answer as now you have felt them again you see them as a problem or an issue. You should let any feelings come, its that change in attitude. I went from watching every symptom or feeling, and worrying about them, to having the same feelings and understanding them to the point where they just did not bother or concern me. I saw them in a totally different light and without the old fear and bewilderment they left me as they had not the fuel to continue. This never comes with trying to keep them under control attitude. This comes with a ‘Give all feelings a free reign’ and know that none are harmful in anyway and they always calm. And this attitude comes when you have felt them many times and nothing harmful has happened, the feelings did not build and they always follow a set pattern. The person that runs away or trys to keep them under control never finds out this.
What I am trying to say in all the above if you try and keep each symptom under control, then you will get nowhere, you will waste so much energy building so many walls that you will feel more tired and bewildered than ever. Let your thoughts come and don’t respond or feel the need to get involved or ‘Control’ them. Let yourself feel agitated without rushing around. Let your heart beat a little faster if it may, its not a problem, its only a bit of excess adrenlin. I could have the EXACT same feelings today as I had all them years ago and then only thing that would have changed is my attitude towards them. And this is mainly because I understand them now, they would no longer bewilder me and certainly not have me in fear of them. I went through them the right way enough times (By letting them come what may) to not have any other attitude.
Hope that helps.
Paul
June 10th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
thanks paul. i think that was always my problem is that i would run around doing things without accepting the thoughts and feelings and letting them come, and if habit pulls me to notice anything, just say “whatever” and keep doing what you were doing before…i honestly think i had a little breakthrough this morning and honestly i don’t really even feel that great today…also i have a job interview today! little nervous but i’ll be fine.
June 10th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Habit will pull you in J.R, accept that also. Your running around was a way of running away and not facing them, this way you are ‘again’ giving them loads of respect and saying they are a big problem, when they are not. Allowing yourself to feel like this has the opposite effect. You also automatically relax when you release the chains and you let yourself feel everything at will. Also try not to keep a mental diary or gauge how you feel each day as things take time to reverse, but they do trust me.
June 10th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Hello everyone!
Excellent posts, Paul and Frank…really appreciate them! Cheeeeers
June 11th, 2008 at 6:09 am
hi all
posts are really helping me, as yet again i am struggling, had a very minute accident in my car yesterday and my hubby went mad ! , this upset me and has set me back . All the self doubt is creeping in, silly thoughts and fast heart beat, and the feeling of im gonna be sick again. i am going carry on with my day, go to work etc, but feel crap again !, am i doing this right?????. this is crazy isnt it, I am sorry to go on but need some reassurance that i am gonna get out of this.i will sit and read through yur book again tonight paul as this helps
LORRYT
June 11th, 2008 at 6:20 am
Sorry, its like im oversensitive about everything, and analyzing it all again,. im not sure if its me being anxious, or just after 8 years of really not feeling much to feeling everything, or it could be both. i have days where i feel fine which i admit are becoming more i guess, but at the moment the scary thoughts are around constantly. lorryt
June 11th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Lorryt you said yourself that you are having more days where you feel fine. JUst take this as a setback, and we can only have setbacks if we are moving forward.. trust in yourself.
I have a question, paul you talk of not fightin your syptoms… what about the tiredness????? i fight that nearly everyday, its a general feelin that i could easy sit an have a nap!! it gets batter around night time.. any way. is fighting that ok??????? i don’t worry about being tired as i know that anxiety/depression causes it. but just not sure how to deal with it? any addvise?
on the subject of DP, i think i have a mild form of it, i don’t think its as bad as some people. i just generally feel like everything is fuzzy. blurred even, i’ve not been able to wear my glasses cause it feels weird when they’re on!!! its a strange side effect!!! anbody shed any light on this??????? on a positive note, i’m workin and enjoying it! getting on with my life. we got 3 pigs last month! we’re fattenin them up for xmas!! dunno if i’ll be able to eat them, they’re so cute!!
June 11th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
cheers debbie
i loose sight of my focus when i feel like this, but reading a few other comments , and the fact that it is just adrenelin running round your body that causes all this, tends to make it more bearable, and the acceptance comes back.
love pigs, but couldnt eat em !!!!!
cheer again, im like a train – getting there!
June 11th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
I’ve wrote a lot recently, but am getting better!!! Please help if anyone has experience the below or knows what I’m doing right or wrong. This blog has be a lifesaver!
what i’ve noticed is that 99.5% of my thoughts that pop into my head are negative and go against what a truly want out of life or just a day. it seems that all my thoughts run together and that there is a constant eye on all the thoughts that are running through my head…and i’ve noticed that my mind is always worrying about this or that, what they think about me or who I am or why i’m not happy, etc. With DP this just complicates things b/c you don’t feel like yourself and you feel like if you could just break through this than you could easily get through the rest.
I had a pretty good day on Monday, but now am struggling. Yesterday I woke up am a deep sleep and was just kind of out of it. Today, I woke up this morning with my mind running from dreaming and just did my morning routine and went to work. My problem is that I just listen to my mind chatter and kind of do what it says or feel how it tells me to feel…it’s hard for me to fully disregard the mind chatter because i’ve listened to it so much for so long…but when i keep disregarding it as not truth and mind chatter bought on by anxiety and sensitasasion i feel tons better and my mind is clearer because I’m not tuning into it all…but I have to keep reminding myself of this over and over throughout the day (because my mind pulls me into listening). this can be very hard at times and when I’m fully tuned into my thoughts it’s very hard to break the cycle and pull away from them. The point that i am at is that I don’t know if this is fighting anxiety or just trying to break this bad habit of i guess it’s called introspection. The days that I do let my mind race and tune into my chattering mind are horrible and I always fell very tired and distant from everything. And sometimes I have a major urge to act on thoughts and if I don’t more negative thoughts will come…but is probably just adrenalin.
Has anyone felt like they totally understand something in the book one day when they read it and the next it makes no sense at all?
June 12th, 2008 at 7:30 am
yes today i feel absolutely knackered due to lack of sleep and my thoughts are chattering away, its the sickness i cant handle. the fact also that i really dont enjoy life anymore. i have 2 kids and want to get involved with them but it all seems like a massive effort for very little fun. Paul has convinced me that i wll recover in time, although its been a year, and things have improved it feels like an uphill struggle to get through each day. but i understand about the chatter and to let it ramble on its own and not listen, but its hard i know. sometimes i just want to sit and cry, but we will all get there. keep reading the book and more and more it will all drop into place , and one day it will all make sense, i t has certainly helped me a lot.
I am too introspective and think too much and that starts my thoughts off.
June 12th, 2008 at 9:49 am
Lorryt, consider yourself lucky if you only struggled for a year with anxiety before finding this place. Most of us here suffered for many years without having a clue what was going on.
I know how awful it feels to wake up to a new day feeling like nothing gives you joy and everything you do seems meaningless. This is the hard part to accept and you easily start going against the stream again without even noticing it. But you should’ve seen me 6 months ago and compare it to what I am now, it’s a huge difference. What I did was nothing more than I jumped to the stream and stopped fighting back. The key thing for me was to become more active. It was REALLY difficult at first because everything felt so meaningless but the more I left home the more meanings I found and everything started feeling more natural. There have been up and downs for sure but hey, that’s what life is like anyway. Don’t expect an instant salvation just because you found the keys to recovery. Keep the course, keep the faith.
One thing that has also helped me is weekly talk-therapy. I know this subject is not discussed here and it’s not one of the essential factors in Paul’s method (although he does mention in the book that if you feel therapy is helping, then go for it). Thanks to therapy I started tracking down the roots of the problem, which was far in the past instead of the recent years’ incidents that made my anxiety explode and turn into dp. We all have different stories but I wanted to point out that for me therapy has opened a lot of knots and it’s been a wonderful introduction to myself. I just wish more therapists knew what Paul knows. This is why I feel that for me the best way is to combine these two.
June 12th, 2008 at 9:53 am
“Has anyone felt like they totally understand something in the book one day when they read it and the next it makes no sense at all?”
J.R., I think we’ve all been there!! Very frustrating but it’s ok, no need to fight it.
June 12th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
hi tarmo
its been about 8 years in total, but this last year i hit rock bottom. I understand that others have had a rougher time , sounds like you included and i appreciate all your help. i wasnt giving my sob story, just trying to get feed back and help. i know everyones story is different and i am so glad i found pauls book and you lot. i just cant get my head round things sometimes, and everyones input really puts it all in perspective.
Thanks again and ill try and be more positive.
June 12th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Tarmo never has a truer word been said than your statement below. And the very reason people ask ‘Am I doing this right’ What they mean is ‘It has been a month now and I am not better’ which I keep saying it takes time, very wise words and I can tell you have a full grasp of the message and have worked out so much for yourself.
Don’t expect an instant salvation just because you found the keys to recovery. Keep the course, keep the faith.
Aslo Lorry I don’t think for one minute Tarmo thought you were giving a sob story, he always trys and advises very well. What he may mean and I think also is that you don’t need to try and run before you can walk. When you say ‘Am I doing things right’ you are questioning everything again and becoming impaitent because you don’t feel great straight away or have a bad day. And there is nothing to do but accept this is you for now. It is never ‘A Do’ it is the very trying to ‘Do something about it’ that keeps you in the cycle.
Tarmo on your question
“Has anyone felt like they totally understand something in the book one day when they read it and the next it makes no sense at all?”
I did answer this a few weeks back and yes it is very common. Firstly I am on a photoshop course at the minute and when I am doing the 3 hour course and we go through a new project I work and understand everything. I go the week after and i forget what we did, so he has to give mne a quick refresher. Add that to a tired mind that does not soak up information too great and also that are old habits seem to drag us back in and you have your answers. It is the repeated doing that brings us to total understanding and it just becomes automatic. As I said in the book, when we first learn to drive nothing comes automatic, we seem to have to think through everything until the day comes when we don’t even know we are doing it.
Hope that helps.
Paul
June 14th, 2008 at 9:03 am
hi there
apologies to tarmo, i may have come across wrong, didnt mean to.
i listen to everyones advice, and appreciate that we all have different circumstances hence we all have different input. i guess i have to slow things down in my head, and step back from this for a while.
have a good day all.
lorryt
June 14th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
hi paul, hows your book on dp coming along?
June 15th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
This is off topic , but never the less an anxiety issue . I dont often ask for advice on here but instead learn from what others have achieved and experienced through recovery !
Its an issue i have often wanted to post and would much appreciate feedback from those who can relate to or offer advice !
Recovery from anxiety , IS , in itself a major hurdle , but one which can be achieved ! My problem however ,is trying to make that recovery happen and deal with all anxiety issues , while at the same time dealing with ongoing personal problems which to be honest continually drag me back into the clutches of anxiety and furthermore dp !
June 15th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
I cannot be the only one who has found themselves in this situation , and for those who may be or have, experienced this ,it is a complete minefield of emmotions which only adds to the already confused state of mind anxiety brings ! I apologise If I’ve been vague but hopefully you can understand what I’m trying to say and leave some feedback ! I know this is not an agony aunt column , but my main priority is recovery from anxiety , its just how to tackle this I’d appreciate advice on !
Paul Mc
June 15th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Hi Paul
I no exactly what you mean, when i was in my worst state i didnt no what was causing all the dreadfull symptoms and racing thoughts which i was experiencing. However now i have a calmer attitude and have timetreflect clearly, its quite obvious where alot of the anxiety was coming from.
My girlfriend has a little girl and the biological farther is lets say ”very disruptive-agressive” Me personally have to run my business which is very stressful. So just looking at these two factors brought alot of anxiety, Obviously i carnt change who the farther is although i treat her like she s my own, what i can do is help myself when it comes to the conflicting situations. I think once i calmed from the major symptoms it becomes clear how ‘’self help” plays its role. Its been a very up and down ride including rifts with the ppeople close to me, but you learn who the real people who care about you are..
Hope this helps Paul and is not out of context…
rick
June 16th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Hey there.
I dont want to go too off topic, but I’m just wondering if anyone experiences heartburn during their anxiety bouts. I guess it can be related to anxiety since worrying ties knots in our stomach and this may cause acid reflux. Just wondering if Paul or anyone else can relate to, or elaborate on this.
June 16th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Thanks for taking the time to reply Rick , I can see what your trying to say , that once the anxiety susides, things become that bit clearer in your head as to how things really are , and not how you may percieve them , in the midst of an anxious state ! I suppose everyones particular circumstances are all very different !
Paul
June 16th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Confused ? yeah ! where did that last post disappear to ? this stress is not good for an anxiety sufferer you know !
June 16th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Think you knocked it on the head Frank !
June 16th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Hey…where’s the link?! PAUL! I WAS GOING TO WATCH IT…(sobbing)
June 16th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
paul mc i know what you mean about personal problems and trying to get through them to get through anxiety and dp. I listened to an audio of claire weekes and it really hit home for me that we need to accept and not just put up with these sensations. Over the weekend some really tough things happened and I just said I going to accept EVERYTHING that happens about it…the way I act, if I say the wrong things sometimes, if I make a fool out of myself, if I have heavy dp for awhile, if my thoughts run wild and think the worst thoughts possible about everything and my relationships, if I offend anyone with what I say (of course not overboard), etc…what i found out was that the real me surfaced and things looked pretty real I felt like I was a part of the world.
the advice i would give you is to try your best to work out the personal situations, don’t make too many life-changing decisions while your like this, and ACCEPT EVERYTHING. Even if it really “stings” to accept it do it anyway because by accepting everything and not paying any attention to that mind chatter or running mind, you are getting closer to recovery.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
forgot to mention this…i noticed that just slowing down, taking things slower from eating to talking to walking, just slow down the rush around…at first this made me notice my symptoms more and my mind kept telling me to start rushing around and withdraw from them. I am still learning to do this but it really has helped a ton (although i may notice a symptom or two that was hidden before, i now know what it is and just laugh and welcome it in to the family of symptoms…don’t forget that this is your body and mind, love yourself and welcome the feelings and feel them all the way through…no more tensing)
hope this helps someone…
June 16th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Yep, i am deffinately confused? what is this link you all talk about? there is one in the post for obsessive thoughts.. but it doesnt work
Have i missed something?
It doesnt take much to confuse this anxious mind these days!
June 17th, 2008 at 8:52 am
Hello Candie…
We’re talking about a new topic with a link to a very interesting interview, it was quite long but I started watching it yesterday…but it disappeared…
(or did I? God, I’m not sure… hehehe)
June 17th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
yes you did Manuella ! and so did i ! somebody is playing silly buggers !
Its not often you miss something Candie ! and JR thanks you very much for posting , I dont think its talked about often on here ,how ongoing problems are a continuing source of anxiety and certainly hijacks the road to recovery however determined you are , sometimes ! It can be a very difficult hurdle to navigate , any more thoughts on this are most welcome .
Paul
June 17th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
lol the link its in the post on obsessive thoughts, as paul thought it was more appropriate in there. If that is what you are talking about?
if ya press play, then pause it and leave it for 20 mins.. it should play all the way through without stopping and starting to buffer.
June 17th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
http://www.ocdonline.com/video.php
Is that what your looking for???
June 17th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Your soooo on the ball ! ! ! Inspector clueso !
June 17th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
i know
June 17th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Candie! I went to the O.T section and..surprise, surprise! Loads of things going on…
I’m feeling like the fat girl, the one no one wants in the team! loool…I had no idea that was so many new comments in another topics.
Damn!
June 17th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Lol Manuella, i think its because new people joined the site!
June 18th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Sorry for confusing you, my fault completely. I am going to have to leave posts alone. O.k the reason I moved it is because I thought the people who may really benefit were the people in the section I moved it to and don’t like labels of O.C.D and did not want people to think ‘Oh I may have that’. Rubbish, it just had some very good points in it and I thought it was great on the thoughts issue that can bother people. I have had emails asking where it has gone, I promise to behave and stop moving things around.
Hope everyone is good, new post coming up this Monday. Again I like to post less often so it is good info and not just post for the sake of it.
Take care, hope all are well.
Paul
June 18th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Been living without internet for a while, sorry for the late reply.
Lorryt, no need to apologize, don’t worry about it! But yeah, Paul’s intepretation of my text was correct.
Oh and Paul, it was actually J.R. who asked about the problem of remembering the advice one day and forgetting the next, I only quoted him in my reply. But your answer and comparison to the photoshop course was awesome!
PaulMc raised an important issue (dealing with personal problems and the way they affect the anxiety). When you have a cycle of problems in your mind already it’s easy to add more. I’d advice to talk about these problems to someone (someone close to you or, if you choose, a therapist) before they become too big in your mind. Kind of breaking the new cycle before it starts taking too much space. Works for me – often makes me see the problem in a different light and the pressure fades.
June 18th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Hi all
well have just had an interview for a job come through, which for me is a big test as i thought i may go into panic mode. I have accepted the fact that i may feel a bit nervous on Monday ( big day), but i shall not give it another thought and not worry about it, and get myself all worked up over it, if its meant to be its meant to be, > i can only try my hardest ! i see nothing to be gained from getting anxious about it. well i say this now but if i can get thru it without too much stress i shall see it that i have come a long way .
Hope everyone is well.
June 18th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Candie
can i ask you how you are doing coming off your meds??. i was prescribed sertraline for depression/anxiety last august, and am feeling quite a lot better, but am concerned that coming off em may set me back again? . i know i have to do it gradually ( i have been on a few drugs , fluoxetine, venlafaxine), but how do you feel things r going ?
lorryt
June 18th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Great Lorry, i came of them pretty quickly so iv slowed down the last dosage, it didnt bother me the slightest.. i feel a lot clearer in my mind now. Many people will tell you that at first you worry, but ya soon realise its ok.
If u feel like they help u, then come of them when your ready and really slowly.
June 18th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
I agree with you Tarmo, talking with someone does help release a lot of baggage you maybe carrying around with you. Many people ask me if I saw anyone in my suffering that helped. One lady I was sent to by the nhs and she just let me talk and really listened. She never claimed to know about the subject beyond the basics but I found talking really helpful and someone that not only really listened but never judged. I always felt better for seeing her, a lot clearer like I had emptied a lot of my mind.
June 18th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Thanks Tarmo for your advice , I think its probably the right and most helpfull thing for me to do , if i’m honest i’ve always tried to deal with personal and anxiety issues on my own , not really thinking anyone had the answers or could help me , but your right ! just being able to talk about it is probably all thats needed to begin with , thanks all , its always very nice to know there are good people on here prepared to offer their help and advice , while dealing with their own problems !
Paul Mc
JR just back tracking on something you mentioned earlier in the blog about rushing about , your the first person i’ve heard bringing this up , I have for years , rushed around non stop , from first thing in the morn till last thing at night getting my job done as fast as i can , to making a cup of tea as quickly as i could , with the thought ,its what i needed to do to get through the day , otherwise everything would fall flat on its arse !!! (SORRY PAUL!!) Its taken me some time to change this bad habit , and guess what , i can get as much done in the day regardless of the apparent slower pace and without the added pressure and stress i was putting on myself ! I think us anxiety sufferers are very demanding of ourselfes , but slowing ourselfes down is all part of the road to recovery and thehealing process !
P.
June 19th, 2008 at 2:15 am
tarmo slowing down is something that i really can’t believe the affect it has. it crazy to see that you still get all you work down and even have more time. we really do put tons of stress on ourselves by rushing around. i’ve found i do “notice” symptoms a little more but this just gives me your of an opportunity to practice accepting and the whatever attitude.
i wanted to ask what people have done (or not done) to become less selfish with anxiety and if it’s something that will pass with anxiety or something I should work on now. It seems that with anxiety and dp that selfishness comes along side because you’re always worried about how you feel, what you feel like in certain situations, etc. it’s always me, me, me…i want to become must less selfish now and wondered if it just comes as the anxiety and dp fades or something i should be working on now.
June 19th, 2008 at 7:09 am
cheers candie
i think i will take things slowly for now, but im sure as my attitude takes over and changes my mindset, things will become even again.
appreciate your help and well done !
June 19th, 2008 at 7:09 am
cheers candie
i think i will take things slowly for now, but im sure as my attitude takes over and changes my mindset, things will become even again.
appreciate your help and well done !
June 19th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
I, too, have noticed that I am always rushing. It is like a self imposed deadline. I realized that I am the only one who will notice if certain things don’t get done. Most all of the stress in my life has been put on me by me so I have started to just be happy with whatever gets done. And like you said, I still get pretty much the same accomplished, just at a less frantic pace. (in my mind)
June 19th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Anxiety no more – good words indeed because I have anxiety no more!!!!
Not posted for a while, went on the family holiday to Malta, never gave it one thought – getting on the plane etc, never felt odd on holiday either.
I now have a second job which takes me right through the week, every day at both jobs I gain more confidence. For Weds Thurs and Fri I have to be at work at 8.45, i’m always quarter of an hour earlier!!! Ok, i mainly work on my own but there is constant hussle and bussle, with it being Social services I get some harrowing things before my eyes, but i’ve learned to switch off, some people are very unfortunate with their lives, again I think ‘there but for the grace of God go I’ . I would never have beleived the transformation, those worst 6 months of my life. I can’t even remember what I felt like then. I have recovered!
Shirley D
June 19th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Shirleeey! How wonderful! How powerful…absolutely fabulous!
I feel reinvigorated (is that a english word?) when read posts like that!
Very, very happy for you! CONGRATS!
xxxx
(Portugal just lost against Germany…daaamn!… But your post felt just like heaven!)
June 19th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
great news Shirley!!!! SO happy for you!
June 19th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Fantastic News Shirley, really pleased for ya
its great when people come on here and let us know how much better they are, not only does it give us all hope that it will be us too one day… but its also nice to have some positive news on here too
June 20th, 2008 at 7:00 am
Thankyou for your comments, yes, I would never have beleived that I could recover, despairing every day at such a horrid affliction. I was lucky enough to be given the right circumstances to start my road to recovery, I don’t walk stooped anymore, i’m taller, I smile and laugh and make conversation with ease. Something is definitately smiling down on me at the moment. And it’s not the sun!!
I don’t have Beta blockers anymore, they are consigned to a drawer (just in case) I haven’t taken a Beta blocker in over 7 weeks.
I realy can’t help anyone else with tips because mine happened so naturally, lots of other things to think about that were more overwhelming that the anxiety i suppose.
Gotta go now, dry my hair and head out to work.
I wish everyone else all the very best and would like to wish you all a speedy return to yourselves.
Shirley
June 20th, 2008 at 7:20 am
Hi all,
Shirley that is fantastic news, im so pleased for you! it really lifts me when I read how well people are doing.
I havent been on for a while, and have been doing pretty well the last week, I totally relate to the posts about rushing around, its what I do best!
Im always rushing round like a mad thing at work, always worried that im not gonna get everything done in time, like beth says im the only 1 who notices when things dont get done, I just need to slow down and stop worrying about stuff that no one else worries about.
Ive got 5 weeks til I get married, and im starting to feel really excited, thats a feeling I havent had for a very long time, and it feels great!
Im really enjoying all the preperations, everything is coming thogether nicely.
lorryt im also on meds, which I find help, and I know once things have settled down, that I will be able to come off them, I think you shouldnt put pressure on yourself to get off them, until you feel truely ready, when that time comes, you will know.
Take care all, Jo xxx
June 20th, 2008 at 7:55 am
Hi all I think it’s great that Shirley is doing so well and interesting what she said about other things in her life ‘taking over’ the importance of anxiety. I think this reinforces the importance of just getting on with your day/life and filling it with things you enjoy doing and not dwelling on the anxiety so much.
I am certainly not doing this as much as I should be at the moment and believe that this is holding my recovery back. The problem seems for me that habit and memory keep reminding me of things/feelings I’d rather not remember but I realise now that you just have to keep going with these things in the background if need be and not let it ruin your day!
June 20th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Shirley, Congratulations!!!You are where we all want to be (and will be!) This might be a difficult statement to understand, but, on the days that I forget to remind myself that I have anxiety (because I am busy with things outside myself), I feel great. So I can see that when you finally string a bunch of those days together, that is when you really start to see the recovery.
June 20th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Beth,
Keep stringing those good days together and you will win.
I cannot beleive that my posts have generated so much interest and support and well wishes, it just testifies that each person on here is a great support to the others. I would never have got where I am today without being involved with this website, stumbled across it quite by accident and it has been a life saver.
It’s nice to see new names and some of the older ones too.
I suffered for six months and seemed to recover over night, had one or two slightly wobbly moments but it was a positive upward step.
When i first came on this site, everyone seemed to be at the same stage, really down hearted and despairing, I can see people are recovering because of their sense of humour and more jolly posts.
I beleive sometimes it does depend on your personality, i’m lucky enough to have an outgoing one and give everyone the benefit of my nice thoughts (unless they cross me) and try to see the good in everyone as much as possible.
I can see that everyone on this site, think as one, breath as one because they all have the same thing in common.
So, I am passing on the message that you can recover entirely.
I am having a right humdinger of a battle with a character on youtube at the moment (hope i can mention this) he is the lowest of the low, at one time I would have taken this to heart and felt sick at what he was writing and my return comments, now I have just told him he has given me the best laugh all year. it is at times like these that i realise the old Shirley is still there, the battler, the one that winds people up, not that weak little person of six months ago who let that ‘demon’ take over my entire life.
My sleeping pattern has returned to normal, I can’t get enough sleep in fact, six months ago i was having no sleep and making such an issue about it, ok the accepting is quite difficult because you expect miracles straight away, I found I didn’t think about any of it any more and hey presto, I was on that road to recovery.
My second divorce is starting to move along, i am upset at the other half’s attitude, but I just tell myself what will be will be, worrying can’t and doesn’t change a thing, in fact makes it all the more worse because you are feeding the fire.
I will close my post now with a little story – not really related to anxiety but i hope it will make you smile (and doesn’t get me a litigation) please tell me Paul if i’m going to get struck off the site!!!
When i worked in the charity shop there was a little pilfering going on by customers (can you beleive it?) but one of the funnier incidents was: The assistant manager came to me and showed me a pair of sandals. She had that morning slung (pardon the pun) (sling backs) a load of summer sandals into the window display to whet peoples appetites that summer was just around the corner. At closing time she showed me this pair of sandals and said that she hadn’t put them in the window because they didn’t have a price tag on the bottom. Some mean spirited person had crept into the window display, taken the shoes they fancied and then left us with the ones they had discarded, all under our very noses, it was very funny at the time, and when i laughed at that I realised the irony of the fact that there is always someone worse off than you!!!!! And that my sense of humour which i had lost down the line was well and truly returned.
Shirley D
June 20th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Again awesome news Shirley…it sure is great to hear your success story. Just an update on myself I am doing much better and again the slowing down pattern has helped me a lot…it’s funny how much i tried to cover up my condition even to myself…i checked with Paul to make sure this website link was ok to post, but i found this man through a little searching. He’s teaches acceptance and gives links to Claire Weekes audio files for free. Acceptance is how he recovered as well. Hope this helps, it know it was a great to see someone else out there not charging an arm and leg for the way out of anxiety…take care all.
http://www.controllinganxiety.com/dsp_downloads.php
June 20th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Shirley well done , It dosent seem that long ago you were in the depths of despair , the same feeling we have all experienced from time to time , but you kept faith in the message given on here and have come out the other side . Recovery may take longer for others caught deeper in the cycle of anxiety but you are yet again another example that it is there waiting for us , when the time is right !
Paul Mc
June 20th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Yes Paul Mc C very true.
You have been a great support to me. Thanks.
I just wish I could wave the magic wand over everyone’s head and cover them with the fairy dust – make it all alright. Alas, cannot do but i just say to everyone, don’t ever give up, your time surely will come.
June 21st, 2008 at 1:17 pm
well done shirley, you are testament to us all that we can all recover .
we all have the strength and knowledge to do it too !!
keeps us all going knowing that there is an end insight
best wishes
lorryt
June 21st, 2008 at 8:45 pm
hi just got back off holiday,would like to say well done shirley
June 22nd, 2008 at 11:38 am
Yes, the message is there to us all – a success story. Triumph over adversity.
Keep heading in the right direction, it will come for you all in the end.
Shirley D
June 26th, 2008 at 4:07 am
I decided to post this here because it my sound similar but it isnt. i just one day started seeing coincidecess, like i would hear a song and then i would hear it again everywhere or i would read about it somewhere, so i thought that maybe i was imagining reality and everything was like some kind of dream. later i read that many people experience that and its called synchronicty, but according to them, those coincidences have meaning, so i heard a song saying that reality is a dream and i started to have coincidences with the song and i began to think what if its a message saying that this is an illusion, now i have coincidences with everything related to reality being an ilusion and its so hard being like this. my email is juancho0008@hotmail.com its my messenger too.
June 26th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
JR,
what a great link!! I’d suggest everyone with dp to listen to the third part of Claire Weeks’s audio tracks. Very comforting stuff and well explained.
June 29th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
hi everyone i just wanted to say i think in finally accepting all i have is anxiety and i have improved greatly but i have a question when im asleep i will wake up in the middle of the night feeling very anxious but im half awake and having dp, but so tired i cant focus to just relax so when i finally do wake up in the morning i fell out of it for about 15 min like i have been on some wierd acid trip all night so i have been starting to have anxiety about going to sleep again? anyone had a similar experince?
June 29th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Mornings seem to be the worst time of the day for me. I wake feeling lost and constantly need reassurance that things will get better. I also have children and a very supportive husband who try their best to help me through. I had the first signs of anxiety about 6 weeks ago but was unaware until physical symptoms materialised which scared the hell out of me as i have always been fit and healthy and i find i worry about the effects this is all having on my body. I found myself looking for answers on here as it all gets so confusing with the ups and downs. I am not on any medication, exercise, eat properly and very rarely have restless nights and keep hoping that the day will come where i will be back to myself and i find myself believing that day will never come which i know is negative thinking. So many people offer advice but until you are in this position things are easier said than done. I have read all the comments and can relay to most but i cannot stop feeling scared that this will all lead to further problems down the track. Does anyone else feel this way too?
June 30th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Yes me trey, i had it for a while. In the end i was so tired, i just gave in and said to myself if something bad happens, so be it. I was just too tired, and nothing bad did happen! It was just habit from a one of anxiety attack.
Mine went away eventually, all aspects of anxiety always do. It only ever sticks if u make an issue out of it. When i gave in and went to sleep anyway, i slept a lot better after that night.. and eventually it disapeared
July 1st, 2008 at 8:02 pm
tarmo it is a comforting audio to listen. glad it helped. trey i’m actually going through the same situation you are at the moment with sleeping and waking up feeling all weird…my recovery to this point has been very up one day and down the next or up one week and down the next. But what I have been noticing is it seems i’m climbing the stairs to recovery. By that I mean I starting to feel symptoms that I had or sort of act how I did while falling into this condition. An example is like eating, when I used to get anxiety before the dp and extreme anxiety, say before a game or before a speech or something, i wouldn’t be able to eat anything because my stomach was just so sour. I’m starting to feel that again, but this time know to just accept it.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:44 pm
hi sj,all of us on the blog have and do feel how you do,but the more your scared, the more fuel your giving the anxiety, the more the cycle will continue.youv only suffered 6 weeks with anxiety by your post,have you bought pauls book?there is alot more information in there that you will find helpful.its all about facing your anxiety,accepting it,letting go and time.the more you learn the more you will understand,understanding your fears to your anxiety you will overcome it.the fears grow bigger when you dont understand that lead into depersonalisation or depression.thankfully paul put this website together to help us as hes been through what we all suffer from and has fully recovered.good luck sj.
July 14th, 2008 at 12:33 am
That was one calming and wise post.
I appreciate what you do, keep it up!
I now have a bit more confidence in taking matters more softly now.
(:
Thank you!
July 21st, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Hi everyone,
Does anyone got through this, their mind is not with them ? for example when you are talking with someone or do something, you are conscious at what u r doing, but your mind is not with you. That is what I am going through.. I had anxiety first with all this weird feelings and I started to question it daily, and then I develop running thoughts. Could not control my thoughts at all as it will keep racing through my mind. And one day, i was at my office, and everything started to turn grey to me. I develop Depersonalisation / Derealisation. I lost my feelings and the sense of who am I? I bought Paul’s book (great book) and the only thing I don’t know what to do is to accept myself as my mind is not with me? If anyone knows the answer to my question, please help me…
October 4th, 2008 at 1:08 am
It is such a relief to see that other people have felt this way. I always feel when I am talking to people, like the person above me, that I am conscious of my actions but my mind is not with me. And I feel derealization, that the world is unreal, and detached….I dont know..this is all so wierd
November 15th, 2008 at 12:03 am
This has helped me alot already im so happy that i am not the only person going through this. I always have the fear that i am going crazy and that there is no way to stop this. But i also wonder if you ever had thoughts,feelings,or memories ever run through your head like crazy when you try to sleep?
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:21 am
Hi I am avery happy outgoung fun person who loves life, but I do suffer from depersonalisation at times. I am 35, married with 3 kids and I have a very stressful life between kids, problems in marriage and running our own Company. The first time I got anxiety I was 20, I must say I have always been a worrier and I analyse everything alot, My brother got ill through cancer-thankfully he’s perfectly ok now and at the time while he was get cured for 6 months I was ok never gave it a thought. When he came back I just started feeling wierd and then I started worrying about this feeling and getting panic feelings. This lasted for 2 mths and it wasnt that bad. Then 10yrs later after a period of stress I took a few puffs on a joint and I got a horible feeling and a panic attack I was really scared. The next day I started obsessing about this and I started feelin really wierd spaced out everything just seemed different dreamlike, I didnt feel myself the happy person I used to be, its as if the spark had gone from life. I was all the time obssessing about what I had and I got many panic and anxiety symptoms. I carried on doing things as normal, with my kids work etc.. but in my mind all I had was the fearof this horrible feeling. Eventually I took anti deppressants and after a few months I was ok at the time I thought I was never going to recover and I was going to go crazy. Well after a year on meds I came off, but 6 months later the dp came back but this time I decided not to carry on with meds, I just tried to forget about what I had and it went away. OK 3 years later after more strss and thinking that I could handle everything by myself and after developing a phobia of cancer I thought anything I had was cancer, one day I started seeing little lights (probably migraine) and I panicked thought I had a tumor or I was going blind, it went away, but the next day I started remembering my anxiety and dp again and I got worse. Now i bought Paul’s book and its brilliant. I suffer from anxiety and dp but the worse is the dp, the anxiety goes away and the dp seems to stay longer. I just don’t feel myself and it seems the world around me has shifted a little, a bit as if you have just woken up from a dream. I want to feel the way I used to but I cant its really wierd, sometimes it feels like I dont recognise myself anymore, even though I do. When I’m around my family and familiar places I am much better. I do get better when I stop worrying and analysing how i feel and i just get on with my life and do everything like I normally did, this will put me back to how I was before. Its happened before and I have completely recovered, so this time I will recover too.
December 5th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Hi everyone
I have been diagnosed with GAD and am now seeking therpy through CBT and have just started medication. I’ve been pretty ill and have really scary thoughts, panic attacks etc. What i wondered was if the following was d.p or not. i find it really difficult to describe, but i basically feel really strange and my thought process petrifies me. For example, it started with feeling no joy from things which really scares me still, also I might watch television and see something and my brain thinks ‘oh you would normally like that…why dont you!? Something is seriously wrong!”. i’ve made myself get back to work even although the thoughts are that bad I can barely function, people talking about work and christmas seems to unreal and I just want to be sick. Sometimes it’s so bad I think I cant cope anymore and dont want to be here. Can anyone relate to this? It’s the worst thing i’ve ever had and part of me thinks I’m going crazy, although i’ve read Pauls book and know that everyone thinks that. it’s just that my vision hasn’t changed, it’s only the way i’m thinking of things. many thanks in advance.
December 5th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
yep Eva i can don’t worry i am usyally a person who loves life, loves going out adn gets on well with everybody.i have 3 small kids aswell and i am married. i am going through an anxiety phase right now, this is my 4th time, but when it happens its awful i just dont seem the same person i used i do everything i do normally work taking care of my kids all after school activities housework etc but i dont feel like i used to be and even though everything is the same it just seems different, also an many things i do my anxiety keep on popping up in my head, i just want to be like i used to its so frustrating cos i think i never will be. it seems like in my head all i have is this thought that i am ill, although i would rather much have the flu than this!!! the one hope i have is that the other 3 times i am have had this i have always fully recovered. about Christmas i always liked it but now i don’t even feel like it i have parties to go to which i loved but i am sacred of going to them feeling so wierd although i will go cos i never avoid any situtaion. for me the best thing to do is just do everything normally and not dwell on anything u feel just think i have anxiety for the time being and all these feelings are due to all the extra adrenalin i have the less i think about this and fear it the quicker i will forget about it and get back to myself.
December 17th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Hello everyone, my name is David and I am new to this blog. Hope everyone is ok. Finally after nearly two years of doctors visits, brain scans, food intolerance tests, to name a few, I finally think there is a name for what I feel. Since Feb ‘07 I have fely spaced out or dizzy/lightheaded everyday and none if the specialists know why. This all started suddenly one day.
I find that reading, working on a computer can make the feeling worse but I generally get it everyday and very sporadically. It’s hard to describe, like a congestion in my head or a lack of clarity/brain fog. This whole problem makes concentration very difficult. I am glad to see that I am not alone with this and finding this website really does help. Is this depersonalisation?
January 2nd, 2009 at 8:37 pm
I’m 48 Female and I’ve been in this funk for a long time. It’s exausting both mentally and physically.
I don’t know where to begin. There is a faint light at the end of the tunnel however.
Surreal like…Jan
January 3rd, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Hey Jan, these older post tend not to get many people visiting them for discussion these days- i only found your post as i moderate the blog and can see who posts where. Why dont you pop along to the latest blog post, there is a lot of discussion going on in there and you will get plenty of feedback too.
Candie
February 18th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
Im suffering with anxiety and can 100% relate to Eva’s post in fact nearly all the posts, dp is the worst thing for me like im not really here and watching tv seems weird, loved ones can feel unfarmilliar, yet i know exactly who they are it’s a very scary and strange thing to go through, no wonder people question “is this anxiety” cause i tell ya it’s very intense, its had me in tears loads of times, disturbing thoughts/dp im going to group therapy and am in search of recovery, any help here would be, thing is with this you think youre the only one suffering, i need help on this as i say in desperate need cause its really upsetting me, thanks for reading.
June 7th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Hello all, I have been keeping up to date with the posts but this is the second time iv posted on here. I wonder if anyone could help answer my questions? I am 21 years old and have been suffering from this feeling of unreality for over two months now. recently the numbness has started to lift and I feel like I can see my old self coming back but then as quick as it comes on it goes back to me feeling dreamy again. I am so scared this will never go or if it does it will come back? since iv had this feeling i also feel more aware of how i think people think of me and sometimes feel paranoid… is this normal. This feeling of unreality came on with the click of a finger and although I sometimes worry I didnt realise I worried enough to bring this feeling on. Please can someone help reasure me this feeling will eventually go as Im so scared. thank you, Hayley x
June 12th, 2009 at 5:16 am
hey im Colton Whitehead and i 20 yrs olds and i was 16yrs old when i ended up getting a anxiety disorder, i smoked weed for a little bit and one day i it just triggered a anxiety attack and i didnt know what was going on at all i was crying and i was wondering why i felt so much out of reality and fake and it was the scariest exprience ever, after that day i would be in school and i would start feeling dreamy alot and weak feeling and its made freakout to well i would have a anxiety attack at school, so in the 11th gradei ended quiting school and suffered through panic attacks daily and derealisation and D.P. until i was almost 18, it was the worst time in my life but i beat it mentally not with drugs, i had to retrain my thought and get out of those habits of dweeling on my sensations my body was going through, it was tough but eventaully i got out of my anxiety state world and i was free from panic attacks, but the d r and the d p is the hardheaded sensastion its like it wouldnt go away but i just kept trying to to do the things i use to do like skateboard and just anything that makes u escape the daily grind and eventually it faded away thank the good lord
…
i just wanted to tell yal that i was 16 and i went through all that and i was young and it ruin my school life and i locked myself away from my friends and couldnt go out with anyone like a normal teenager, so just find ur holy grail, something that takes ur mind off ur sensastion produced by anxiety, you have to retrain ur brain back to the old youso get out of those worry states and keep pushing, and i wanted to give up alot but i was just like this isnt going to be my whole life, living this way…. and now im back to normal and i got my ged, but ever now and then ill feel dreamy but i can disarm it quick cause i know what to do now which is to set your mind on something else, it will try to sneak back up on you later on in life but you will know how to controll it this time, u owe to urself to become better and ur family want u back just like it made my mom so worried for me but i showed her i could do it and i thank her everyday for stayin beside me…
ur not fake and that is u looking back at u in the mirror and i know it doesnt feel like u and u dont feel real at times, just remember and say it out loud IM real and im going to beat this now.. just man up and Do it , its easier said than done i know, it will give u a better love for life when u get well, take care you guys and ill pray for all yal!
June 15th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
Thank you Colton for writnig that post, it ives me so much hope when someone says you will get over it! especially if youve been there yourself. Can i ask how you have retrained your brain? im having CBT at the mo but it doesnt seem to be working, thank you xxxx
August 4th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Hi Paul,
I’m struggling with DR at the moment and have been for the past 5 months. Altho I don’t feel anxious anymore, the DR has stayed with me and it is the only thing that I feel is holding me back from enjoying life again. I am so frustrated and I have tried to do all the things on your list. I just can’t remember how it feels to be real anymore and I’m worried I’ve adapted to this way of life just to survive which is not what I want! Will this ever go away and will I ever get my life back again as full and happy as I know it? x
August 29th, 2009 at 11:59 pm
Hi this is the second time iv had dp, the first I had it it was for almost a year,but I realised u have to not let this symptom bother u, jus shrug it off, it will go because I’m livin proof, but now it’s bk again n it’s hard to cope at the moment because I’m very stressed n need to sort a few things out on my life, then I think the dp will go when I haven’t got all these other worries on my mind, but I do no u can definatly recover from this, with time n patience n the right attitude xxxx
September 7th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Hi.
Like many, I too sufer from anxeity and depression and have had it since the summer and have been taking Zoloft.
Up until about a month ago, I had been suffering from Derealization which seemed to go almost overnight and I now appear to be experiencing severe Depersonalization as I can relate to a lot of the things people are describing here.
It really is a horrible feeling in that I feel that I’ve just been put here and don’t know who a I am, as past and present seem to mould into one, giving almost constant Deja Vu yet at the same time it feels like I’m in a new life. I really don’t know if I’m in a dream or awake and feel totally detached from everything and everyone.
Familiar faces look strange and everything around me seems familiar yet unfamiliar if that makes any sense. Another disconcerting thing I’ve had is it seems almost every memory I’ve had comes to mind at random for no apparent reason like a picture or movie, sometime even dreams I’ve had.
I too feel emotionally numb and like a Robot, doing whatever someone tells me to do making me feel like a small child. It really is so horrible and confusing and I can see why it makes the anxiety worse as I’m always asking myself what the hell is happening.