//How to recover from Depersonalisation / Derealisation

How to recover from Depersonalisation / Derealisation

Updated 27/06/2018

What causes Depersonalisation and Derealisation?

Depersonalisation is not just a symptom of anxiety. It can affect those who have been through a traumatic episode, like war or abuse of some kind. There are also cases of people having a bad experience with a drug and those who have lost a loved one can also suffer temporarily from it.

The person who has been to war and seen things that he would rather forget may suffer. The D.P is his mind’s way of shutting down and protecting him from these harrowing memories. This is the same as someone having been through some trauma or abuse of some kind; the D.P can be present to protect them from the past painful memories.

In some cases, those who have recently lost a loved one can suffer from temporary D.P and have that blank look, as though they are somewhere else. Again it is the mind’s way of protecting them from all the pain, shock and worry of their recent loss; it becomes a coping mechanism for them. Once the pain and trauma of the loss begin to weaken, then they tend to revert to their old selves again.

Why can people with anxiety develop the symptoms of Depersonalisation and Derealisation?

I suffered from anxiety for about two years before I developed any symptoms of D.P. It first developed due to my excessive worry and concern over how I was feeling. I would spend hours thinking deeply about my condition, continually trying to find a way out of my predicament.

This deep thinking and concern went on for weeks until I began to feel more and more detached from the world around me. Then one day I was stroking the family pet when I just had this out of body experience, it was like I was snatched from reality and was now part of some dream, the action of stroking my dog no longer seemed real.

What happened that day was my mind said, ‘enough is enough, I cannot take this worry and deep thinking anymore and to protect me, and you, I have to shut your emotions down’. And it did, I could no longer feel any emotions, there was no happiness, no joy and the whole world just appeared grey and lifeless. I just resembled a walking shell who felt detached from my surroundings and felt nothing.

Understanding is key to recovery

If I had known at the time what was going on, I would have heeded the warning, stopped worrying and would have taken the mental break I needed. But as I was clueless to why I was feeling this way I just took on these new symptoms as something else to worry about, figure out and defeat and because of this I fell deeper into the condition.

And the deeper I fell, the more worry and concern was present and so I entered into the full Depersonalisation cycle. Everything I was doing to try and get better was the exact things that had brought the feelings on in the first place, talk about being blind !!

If I had been more educated on D.P before I suffered, then I would have known the reason why it was happening and would not have wasted years trying to figure it out and worrying about it daily and prevented myself sinking deeper and deeper into the condition.

So the above explains why people with anxiety can go on to develop Depersonalisation. It is all the concern and deep thinking about the initial anxiety that can lead to the first signs of depersonalisation and then they can then spend years sinking further due to them now worrying and thinking deeply about the D.P itself.

So how did I come through my Depersonalisation?

road to recovery

Well before I give a list of things that helped me through, I will be honest with people and say that it did take a while for me to recover and that there are no quick fixes.

The whole D.P left me when it realised that it was no longer needed.

I finally realised that recovery would only occur when I stopped all the worry and deep thinking over how I felt and so that is the approach I now took. The symptoms although scary, no longer had my constant concern and attention and so my mind started to get a break.

It was the constant barrage of concern and worry that had put me in this position in the first place, so it made total sense to me now that if I wanted to recover, then this had to cease and only then could a process of healing begin.

While I was in the previous cycle, then nothing was going to change. While I continued to worry and obsess about my predicament, then my mind would carry on protecting me, and no progress would be made.

Allowing the presence of these symptoms is easier said than done after you have spent years worrying and battling with yourself. So to suddenly step back and do nothing is like having an itch and no longer being able to scratch it.

But the whole process of recovery now made sense to me, I knew what was needed, and so I had to accept that I would feel like this for a while and be OK with it. I would have to allow its presence and live along side it the best I could.

Recovery takes time

be patient with recovery

What I had learnt was not going to eliminate it straight away, there was still a process of healing that I needed to go through, and I had to allow that process to happen with as little fear and concern as possible.

I would have to accept that things would still feel like a dream, that my emotions would still be switch off and that the world would continue to appear grey and one dimensional until my mind healed enough to turn this protection off.

Through a habit of constant self-concern, my attention was still continually on me, and the symptoms of D.P were still extreme, but I decided, and I mean from the pit of my stomach to live with this for the time being and no longer try and worry or think my way out. The last thing my mind needed now was more deep thinking and more worry.

With all the knowledge I had now gained all the actions that were keeping the condition alive soon stopped, and I TRULY accepted this feeling and fully understood that it was my minds way of protecting me and that I had no power over it. I finally realised that I had no control over its presence and it was going to be there for now if I liked it or not and so this constant battle to defeat it was not only pointless but also counterproductive.

Don’t be impatient

It is due to impatience and the need to step straight out of this condition that a lot of people may allow themselves to feel this way for a short period and then become frustrated with it and so fall back into the cycle of questioning and fighting its presence once again.

Once my attitude and approach to it changed then I never even thought about recovery, I just gave up the whole battle with it, allowed its presence without any concern and then improvement came to me. I didn’t DO anything; it was the non-doing that brought about my recovery, as it was the non-doing that finally gave the mind the space it needed to heal.

Here is a list of other things that helped me recover from Depersonalisation and Derealisation

Exercise and the outdoors

Exercise is an excellent way of clearing the cobwebs and giving you another focus to your day. Exercise especially when done outdoors is also very good for healing the mind, so try having a real dose of nature.

When you first start venturing out, the world may still seem distant and flat but don’t let this put you off, just get your coat on and go. It is vital at this time to look after your mind and body and be kind to yourself, so take care of your mind and body the best you can.

See each day in which you allow yourself to feel this way as another step nearer to freedom.

Keeping away from forums and studying the subject daily.

I run this blog as I like to think the advice is helpful and people do need that initial guidance and support. I will be honest though and say I am not a fan of forums, as people on there tend to drown themselves in the subject, logging on day after day asking more questions, seeking more reassurance while trying to find that miracle answer. Many on there can then end up feeling worse as the subject becomes them, and they feel like they can think of nothing else.

Forums also tend to be full of negative stories and people struggling on for years without any real progress, reading all these stories can lead to a negative mindset and have the sufferer feeling more bewildered than ever as recovery seems so far away, for so many and so they lose hope themselves.

I remember going on many years ago to support people and found I had to come off. I just found the whole experience very depressing and draining and saw a lot of poor advice been given out to people by others who were still suffering themselves.

For me, once you understand the process and what’s needed to recover then you don’t need to be logging on to forums talking about your symptoms and predicament every day, thinking this will lead to anywhere positive. The best course of action is just to go back out there and live again.

I knew to begin to feel like my old self again, I had to pack in as much normal living as possible. Doing normal every day things makes you feel part of the outside world again. I always tried to live as normal life as possible and never let how I feel stop me.

Stop obsessing/worrying and trust in yourself.

Pay this feeling no mind, and this means to just get on with your day however you feel. You are not going crazy, and this feeling will go when your mind heals and then realises that it is no longer needs to protect you or itself from this constant barrage of worry and over thinking.

When the whole obsession and deep thinking ceases then the brain will begin the healing process. This process can be a slow and frustrating process and full of days where you feel you are really making strides to days where you feel engulfed again.

It is very important to allow this up and down process to happen without being too impressed by it. Don’t ever gauge progress by how you feel. If you have a few good days and then suddenly feel worse than ever, don’t think anything has gone wrong.

This back and forth is all part and parcel of recovery and something you have to accept. Progress is gauged on how allowing you are and not on how you feel. So don’t get too excited on the good days and don’t get too disheartened on the bad.

No matter how long you have suffered from this condition, when you apply the above and be patient then full recovery is there for everyone. Just have faith in your bodies natural healing system, the best healing system in the world, left alone it knows exactly what to do.  Also, remember that what you have been through has done you no long-term harm.

My Depersonalisation was so extreme that I could not even hold a conversation and completely lost who I was. For years life just felt like one constant dream that I was no part of and yet I came through without a single symptom left.

Recovery is there for everyone

We all work and heal the same, the only ones that find themselves still stuck are those that don’t understand what is going on, and so they stay in a constant cycle of recreating it or those who want that quick fix and refuse to be patient.

Someone once emailed me and said ‘I have read your book, but my Depersonalisation is still there’ I mean did they read the same book that told them it would take time? No, again they wanted the quick answer, the miracle cure that does not exist.

Recovery requires an understanding of what is happening and then a lot of patience so the mind can recover. If you have both these then recovery is inevitable.

Paul David
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Paul David

Paul David owner and sole contributor of this blog and https://anxietynomore.co.uk. Author of the best selling book on overcoming anxiety 'At last a life' and the follow up 'At last a life and beyond. Lover of all animals and the outdoors.
Paul David
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By |2019-01-10T20:53:20+00:00June 27th, 2018|Depersonalisation|145 Comments


  1. lorryt 5th June 2008 at 2:56 pm - Reply

    That to me is the key, trust in your own body, i for so long thought medication was the answer and although i am still taking it i realise in time that my body will start to take over and i will come off it gradually. our bodies are amazing things and we dont trust them enough. We live our lives to the minute and we want to be better quickly, such high pressure world we live in, well i am trying to take a back step and think, well my health is more important to me than anything, and by following pauls advice i am living my life that i havent lived for 8 years. My attitude is changing , and the more good habits i get into the more i realise how much i wasted.

  2. No More Anxiety 5th June 2008 at 3:42 pm - Reply

    Lorry what you say is right ‘It is this rush to be better’ that holds us back, are body wants to regain its balance but does not want to be forced or rushed. Like a broken leg you cannot as much as you try repair it instantly, it takes a little time. We understand this with a broken leg and don’t constantly try and ‘MAKE’ it better or worry about it, question it because we understand it needs time. This is what I am asking people to understand and give it that time and not try and rush things and let recovery come to you. I know its an awful feeling at times, I am not asking you to like it, just change your attitude towards it, as you say above your attitude is changing, this also takes time, time and knowledge and going through tough times and coming through builds this attitude, nothing is achieved overnight. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away or come out with that magic sentence that would make it dissapear instantly. But the true experience is coming through the right way, it makes you appreciate things a lot more and gives you a new inner strength that cannot be broken.


  3. lorryt 5th June 2008 at 3:56 pm - Reply

    NEVER HAVE TRUER WORDS BEEN SPOKEN, and on the odd day i feel i am human again, and trust in the knowlegde that one day it will be like that all the time helps immensely. i think i have been going on enough for now, i know i will recover and for now thats enough for me to believe in …. ME.

  4. lisa 5th June 2008 at 6:08 pm - Reply

    good post paul, 🙂

  5. Paul Mc 5th June 2008 at 6:09 pm - Reply

    Thanks for that post Paul , this subject has come up at just the right time for me , I was just about to ask for some help regarding the DP , but no need now , I’d like to say something on the subject though , later , when I have more time !

  6. Debbie 5th June 2008 at 11:17 pm - Reply

    Paul!! A fantastic post. A calm and informative one. i wonder if the blurred vision is all part of it. Its like you see things differently with DP, know what i mean??? Its such a difficult thing to describe and i’m sure everybody suffers differently with it, some people get DP right away others take longer for it to emerge.
    Lorryt, its great to believe in yourself, you r so right, and to beleive that you’re own body will heal itself. We’re just along for the ride!!!!
    I hope everybody is well.

  7. Jules 6th June 2008 at 12:53 am - Reply

    You know you have a very good way of explaining things Paul which makes things very clear and easy to understand, as you say its an individuals choice to be able to follow the advice and interpret it in a way that means something to them. But it is a process, I have found when I read about the process and anxiety and what others have been through (on this site)it can help me to understand more and that’s why I have found your blog, together with the responses so useful.
    It really does give me hope and conviction that I can come through this and make a full recovery.

  8. Ryan 6th June 2008 at 2:00 am - Reply

    Thank you so much for that post Paul:D I have been suffering from DP for quite a while now, and it has deffenetly been a struggle, but i know if i keep up doing the right things and having the right attitude like “whatever, I dont care if your there or not” I can fully recover. Its just the habits of deep thinking and trying to figure it out can come back sometimes, and I just think I will never get better, I will never get back to the way I felt before I had anxiety. But I know this is just my mind over reacting playing its tricks on me, and I have to accept the way im feeling no matter what, just be, and let everything flow through. This part can be hard sometimes, but I know its the way to recover. I was so happy to read this post Paul, it just motivates me so much to start doing things right, and living my life normaly again. Im just so happy I found this site, there is deffenetly no other anxiety site as good as this one. I always read your posts, you explain things so well, and they always relieve me so much and motivate me to get rid of this thing. The first time I read your site it relieved me of so much stress and worry, and made me start thinking positive. I believe im going to 100% recover eventually I just have to keep up the right attitude! Sorry this is a big reply, I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate this site Paul, and how amazing you are!
    Thank you so much, and keep up the posts:D

  9. No More Anxiety 6th June 2008 at 12:03 pm - Reply

    Firstly welcome Ryan and I am glad you enjoy reading my posts and it means a lot that they help. I am also impressed with your positive attitude, it is hard to stay positive sometimes and it does seem to drag you back down at times, it was the same with me and these are the times when it can really test you. But these times do pass with that determination and belief that we will come through, that change of attitude to how you feel really is the first step to recovery. I went from hating, worrying, fighting to shrugging my shoulders and just getting on with my day. I know which approach worked and which had the opposite effect.

  10. samantha 6th June 2008 at 5:02 pm - Reply


    another great and relevant post paul. i would like to bring up your comments about you being worse than many who come on this forum with respect each persons experience is subjective and i for one beleived i was the worst case ever my anxiety was acute i could not function on any level but i would say that each experience a person had is the worst for them .


  11. No More Anxiety 6th June 2008 at 6:13 pm - Reply

    Samantha I gauge my own suffering on the many people I have to spoke with and helped over the years. It is not important how bad I was or not, I just want people to realise that no matter how far you think you have fallen that you can come through and that by telling people I was as bad if not worse than most, hopefully puts this message across.

  12. Kim 6th June 2008 at 6:37 pm - Reply

    Hi Paul, im new to your site, and just want to say how fascinating and helpful i’ve found it. so far im maintaining a positive attitude, and understand now what is happening to me. thankyou so much for setting it up for others who are going through anxiety.

  13. Paul Mc 7th June 2008 at 6:34 am - Reply

    Hi all !
    DP for me has been by far the most worrying symptom of all , before I was lucky enough to find this sight , I was in a living hell , the DP was , in my minds eye , a seperate illness altogether ! I was sure the anxiety had created some sort of mental damage to me , and to be honest I couldn’t see any way back ! I often went to the doctors for help regarding my anxiety before the DP arrived , but once it had, It consumed me and in the end it was all I ever thought about with Its overpowering sensation ! The doctors visits from there on in were all about this spaced out feeling which had taken over me , stripped me of my emmotions and ability to enjoy things , He wasnt even able to put a name to it !
    The first time I read through Paul’s site , was in itself , like lifting a major weight off my shoulders ! there it was in black and white , an explanation of what I now know to be called DP , what a relief !
    After about six months my DP is now no where as intense as it used to be , I dont obsess constantly about it anymore and with that it has subsided ! I think I’m at the stage now , where I’m wondering what my next stage in recovery is going to be , I’m not impatient , I’ve had this for some time now , long enough , for me to realise time isnt the issue where recovery is concerned , now I can see improvement taking place , I just feel that the process would be much more attainable without the sensations of DP , which do hold me back ! For those caught deep in the cluches of DP at the moment , be patient , It is very hard at times not to let the DP bother or effect you , but It comes with practice which will bring a change in attitude , just dont be so frightened by it and slowly your mind will begin to clear , a little bit like a MISTY MORNING, slowly turning into a BRIGHT SUNNY DAY !
    Paul Mc

    And yes I was up early this morning , being taxi driver to the airport !! LOL !

  14. markan 7th June 2008 at 12:51 pm - Reply

    Paul, I truly think this is the way out, excelent post! Don’t expect anything but go trough it while living your life the way you want to live it.
    I found a great metaphor about struggling vs acceptance:
    When you touch an poison Ivy you get a nasty rash that itches as hell. It’s not pleasant but sometimes it happens. It’s when you start scratching you make things worse maybe even spread the reaction to other body parts or you might end up with open sores on your skin. No amount of scratching will cure the inflammation. Altough scratching brings temporay relief, you need to stop scratching and allow your body to heal itself.
    Best wishes to everyone here!

  15. samantha 7th June 2008 at 1:45 pm - Reply


    thanks for your reply paul it answered my question perfectly.

    i am still writing my book lets hope it will be an inspiration to others as your boook is you can certainly tell you advocate the work of dr claire weekes


  16. jay 8th June 2008 at 2:51 pm - Reply

    Have you guys ever experieced overanalyzing your entire body? How you breath, move, walk or do other things? Is this normal for someone experiencing DP? Though i dont feel dizzy, I feel so light and soft.

  17. Natalie 8th June 2008 at 9:02 pm - Reply

    I have not posted on here before although i have read the site and blogs in full over the last few weeks. Everyones info is highly insightful and it’s comforting to know that there are other people out there with the same symptoms.

    I have had anxiety for over a year, although i am now beginning to learn what i have been doing wrong. I have been fighting my symptoms, as i’m sure we all have.
    I get despersonalisation quite badly. I was scared about it for a long time, thinking i was going mad, though now i am understanding how i works, i need not feel so scared. I know over time i will become less and less afraid if i don’t give it all the attention it needs.

    I know that when i recover i will be such a stronger person

    Best wishes to everyone here and thank you Paul for your excellent blogs


  18. lorryt 9th June 2008 at 7:10 am - Reply

    hi all

    struggling a bit today , thoughts creeping back in and am feeling a bit low???, i know i have to stop asking why, but its the old setback thing again, not as bad as before but its gonna happen i guess, i may be repeating myself but i need to type it out!!! as it helps a lot

    have a good day everyone

  19. jo 9th June 2008 at 7:17 am - Reply

    Hi all,
    Just wanted to say thanks to paul fpr another great post, when I think back, I think DP is something I have suffered with for many years, the feeling of being switched off, feeling no emotion, it is something ive felt on and off for as long as I can remember.
    But the way paul explains it makes so much sense, which helps to take alot of the fear away.

    I also like what you said markan, about the poison ivy, what a great metaphor.

    I have met so many great people on this blog, and feel so lucky to have found it.
    Thanks all, take care, Jo xxx

  20. No More Anxiety 9th June 2008 at 10:28 am - Reply

    Welcome Kim and Natalie and thank you for your kind comments, I am so glad you both enjoy hanging around and reading the posts.

    Markan with the poison Ivy Quote , which I like. I have also used the picking at a scab approach. If you leave it alone it will heal, if you keep picking at it, then it will not.


  21. candie 9th June 2008 at 1:05 pm - Reply

    Yet another great post from Paul 😀

    I’m not sure if i have depersonalisation… i do think quite deeply at times, i did have derealization for a couple of days- that was very scary! Good job i had read about it in the book, otherwise it would be another symptom i fear which may of lingered!

    Well i have took a step back from the anxiety subject, i feel a lot better for it too. It is nice to have support on this amazing blog.. but i realise now i was way to involved. All the obsessing over the anxiety filled my day with thinking about it non stop, so i am doing other things with my day…etc

    I had a job interview today, i think it went really well- would be nice to start working again and having a bit of structure in my days 🙂 I would get to travel all over the UK too, which would be fun 😀

  22. No More Anxiety 9th June 2008 at 2:58 pm - Reply

    That’s great Candie, what job was that?

    If you had depersonalisation you would know Candie, not everyone develops it, but at least you have the tools and knowledge now. But as I say some do, some don’t and if you fill your day with other things and with what you have learnt about not worrying and obssesing/fighting then there is little/no chance you ever will. It really is only a safety valve to protect you. People stay in the cycle because they then worry and obsess about this new sensation, that’s the key, if I had known then what I know now, then I would never have entered into that cycle.

    Do keep popping in and saying hello, always missed.


  23. candie 9th June 2008 at 7:07 pm - Reply

    Its working as a Stock Auditor Paul, i feel ready to work now, as im over stewing at home.. it did me no good. I understand some people are that ill with thier anxiety, work is not an option, but i feel my anxiety isn’t disabling… mostly mild with bouts of high anxiety.

    I do have constant mind chattering and odd thoughts, but i dont feel detatched from myself so i dont think i have depersonalisation. A couple of times i was woke up by a buzzing sound in my head, with a feeling of adrenalin shootin through my body, acompanied by pins and needles.. then i felt like everything i focussed on frightened the life out of me.. even silly things like a dressing gown lol! It was like i was dreaming. But like i say iv never had it constantly, luckily. I reckon i would of though, but i just put it down to the adrenalin cup over filling and i felt fine after a couple of days.

    Hope everyone is enjoying the nice weather 😀

  24. jay 10th June 2008 at 5:56 am - Reply

    Have you guys ever experieced overanalyzing your entire body? How you breath, move, walk or do other things? Is this normal for someone experiencing DP? Though i dont feel dizzy, I feel so light and soft.

  25. Frank 10th June 2008 at 1:21 pm - Reply

    I think this line in Paul’s post I can relate to a lot.

    “I always say that, don’t go searching for recovery, your body will bring it to you, if you step out of the way and let it.”

    Back then when I was in times of despair, I said to myself that I would make some changes to my lifestyle. This included things such as eating better, exercising and better sleep patterns. The driving force of these changes was my strong desire, and obsession, to get rid of my anxious thoughts. While I did feel slightly more energetic the feelings of anxiety did not go away. So I thought after making so many good changes, why is my anxiety and depersonalization still lingering around. I would say the reason behind all this was because I was making these changes not for myself but for my anxiety.

    This is where the relevance of Paul’s line comes into play. There’s a common cliche that goes: “Sometimes the best things in life go unnoticed” I think this sentence relates a lot to anxiety and that recovery does mainly go unnoticed. I think that recovery from depersonalization involves our minds not being in the self-analytical state: whether we think we are in despair or whether we think we have recovered. When we think we are in despair, then of course our feelings become magnified and we continue to search even harder from recovery. However when we begin to think we have recovered, we tend to become over analytical and we start to hyper analyze things. When in this state I find that even the slightest mishap, something we can normally just disregard such as mild stomach aches or a mild headache can pull us back into the cycle of analytical thinking. I did think to myself: If i just keep ignoring these physical symptoms, some day it will eventually catch up with me and I will regret letting go of this feeling of constant worry.

    This is where the latter part of Paul’s line comes into play: Your body will bring recovery to you. This can easily be explained by our body’s natural healing abilities. When we are injured, be it a cut, a scrape or a scab, never once was our body not able to repair itself. It is completely natural that our body will recover from injuries. Wounds will be closed, scabs will fall off and eventually the affected area reverts to normal. This gives us powerful reassurance that our bodies’ ability to recover is powerful and strong.

    I think the key to recovery is to not think about it, and possibly not even desire it. Because we can never really get rid of a pattern of thought. Thoughts come and thoughts go, they never really do anything except influence us, be it good or bad. We can however change our reactions to those thoughts and our feelings towards them. If we are constantly thinking and obsessing about ourselves it does not put us any closer to recovery. On the other side of the bridge however, if we think we have fully recovered, then this will do us little good as it still puts us into the cycle of analytical thinking except we are on the better half of it. Recovery is a natural thing. It does not happen when we pick at our wounds or analyze ourselves, it just happens. All it takes is a little faith.

  26. JR 10th June 2008 at 1:59 pm - Reply

    Good post paul…one thing i wanted to mention is that in my anxious/dp state i wanted to do things a lot faster and would rush around doing this this way, my mind would race around with me and my body and i would find it hard to talk to people because i was just paying attention to my internal thoughts or my i call my friend…this may sound crazy but i would actually respond to my thoughts and argue or agree like it they were a friend…but yesterday and into today i decided to quit listening and focus on other things…my mind will pull me back in but then i slowly re-focus on what i was doing keeping a calm mood through it all…

    i always thought that if i wasn’t rushing around trying to get things done than i would never get them done…what i found by not listening or responding is that i got a lot of things done yesterday if not more than usual and was able to talk to people more and a little of my sense of humor came back…i am noticing that then i don’t pay attention to my obsessive thoughts that start the worry cycle again i have a lot of extra “energy” or adrenalin running around in my body. it seems that this has caused the faster heartbeat symptom and other symptoms to re-surface once i thought they were under control.

    i’m just wondering if what i am doing is correct and will lead to recovery or is the extra “energy” in my body a result of me adding additional adrenalin to the already present adrenalin. it honestly feels like that all this extra adrenalin (first set) is habit and is released because my body thinks i need it to think deeply all day or worry over everything so when i don’t do that all this extra adrenalin is running around and just finds different ways to release which for me, on the surface, presents itself as very weird anxiety symptoms.

  27. No More Anxiety 10th June 2008 at 1:59 pm - Reply

    Frank that is a very, very good post and exactly the points I am trying to get across. This line especially after you made some chages to your lifestyle.

    While I did feel slightly more energetic the feelings of anxiety did not go away. So I thought after making so many good changes, why is my anxiety and depersonalization still lingering around. I would say the reason behind all this was because I was making these changes not for myself but for my anxiety.

    I told someone the exact same thing on here a few weeks back, don’t make the changes in the hope of ridding your anxiety, do it for yourself. The reasons are because if you do then you will begin to watch for improvement, almost demand it and as you say the best changes come unoticed. I once did all of this and it was all geared to getting rid of my anxiety until I realised that I was still ‘Trying to do something about it’ and watching for changes, becoming dispondant, becoming bewildered as to why the anxiety was not leaving me. I then did the exact opposite and just made these changes for me, if it helped my anxiety then great, but I was not going to expect or demand anything. This approach helped me so much more, I never went running or ate better and then thought ‘Right how do I feel now’ this is counter productive as you are making it again the focus of you and ‘Trying to rid yourself of it’ Hence don’t go looking for recovery, it will come to you.

    Again its all about building your knowledge and as you have these moments od realisation, that’s how it was for me. I was like ‘I get that now’ I see what mistake I was making.

    Great post, all of it is very relevant to what I am trying to say and a great way of putting it Frank.


  28. No More Anxiety 10th June 2008 at 2:28 pm - Reply


    Here is your quote:

    i always thought that if i wasn’t rushing around trying to get things done than i would never get them done…what i found by not listening or responding is that i got a lot of things done yesterday if not more than usual and was able to talk to people more and a little of my sense of humor came back…i am noticing that then i don’t pay attention to my obsessive thoughts that start the worry cycle again i have a lot of extra “energy” or adrenalin running around in my body. it seems that this has caused the faster heartbeat symptom and other symptoms to re-surface once i thought they were under control.

    Firstly this feeling the need to rush around is just extra adrenalin and rushing around is because you have all this extra energy, as that’s what adrenalin is ‘Fight or flight’ .Rushing around though really is running away from your feelings. The question to always ask is ‘What would I be doing if I did not feel like this?’ You would not be rushing around trying to get things done, so just let yourself feel like this and YES get on with your day, without feeling the need to tune in or respond. If you were able to talk and find a little sense of humour the other day then you have made a little breakthrough, sometimes you don’t need to ask me if you are doing anything right, the way you feel will tell you that.

    On the other question of ‘If I don’t rush around etc, I feel I have a lot of extra adrenalin, energy around’ Then yes you may, as you have stopped running away from it, rushing around, trying to keep up. The faster heartbeat and other symptoms are fine and just because of a bit of extra adrenalin, that’s totally normal and that should always be your attitude, not to ‘Try and keep things under control’ trying to surpress feelings and keep them under control is not the long term answer as now you have felt them again you see them as a problem or an issue. You should let any feelings come, its that change in attitude. I went from watching every symptom or feeling, and worrying about them, to having the same feelings and understanding them to the point where they just did not bother or concern me. I saw them in a totally different light and without the old fear and bewilderment they left me as they had not the fuel to continue. This never comes with trying to keep them under control attitude. This comes with a ‘Give all feelings a free reign’ and know that none are harmful in anyway and they always calm. And this attitude comes when you have felt them many times and nothing harmful has happened, the feelings did not build and they always follow a set pattern. The person that runs away or trys to keep them under control never finds out this.

    What I am trying to say in all the above if you try and keep each symptom under control, then you will get nowhere, you will waste so much energy building so many walls that you will feel more tired and bewildered than ever. Let your thoughts come and don’t respond or feel the need to get involved or ‘Control’ them. Let yourself feel agitated without rushing around. Let your heart beat a little faster if it may, its not a problem, its only a bit of excess adrenlin. I could have the EXACT same feelings today as I had all them years ago and then only thing that would have changed is my attitude towards them. And this is mainly because I understand them now, they would no longer bewilder me and certainly not have me in fear of them. I went through them the right way enough times (By letting them come what may) to not have any other attitude.

    Hope that helps.


  29. JR 10th June 2008 at 2:48 pm - Reply

    thanks paul. i think that was always my problem is that i would run around doing things without accepting the thoughts and feelings and letting them come, and if habit pulls me to notice anything, just say “whatever” and keep doing what you were doing before…i honestly think i had a little breakthrough this morning and honestly i don’t really even feel that great today…also i have a job interview today! little nervous but i’ll be fine.

  30. No More Anxiety 10th June 2008 at 5:23 pm - Reply

    Habit will pull you in J.R, accept that also. Your running around was a way of running away and not facing them, this way you are ‘again’ giving them loads of respect and saying they are a big problem, when they are not. Allowing yourself to feel like this has the opposite effect. You also automatically relax when you release the chains and you let yourself feel everything at will. Also try not to keep a mental diary or gauge how you feel each day as things take time to reverse, but they do trust me.

  31. Manuella 10th June 2008 at 7:45 pm - Reply

    Hello everyone!

    Excellent posts, Paul and Frank…really appreciate them! Cheeeeers 🙂

  32. lorryt 11th June 2008 at 6:09 am - Reply

    hi all

    posts are really helping me, as yet again i am struggling, had a very minute accident in my car yesterday and my hubby went mad ! , this upset me and has set me back . All the self doubt is creeping in, silly thoughts and fast heart beat, and the feeling of im gonna be sick again. i am going carry on with my day, go to work etc, but feel crap again !, am i doing this right?????. this is crazy isnt it, I am sorry to go on but need some reassurance that i am gonna get out of this.i will sit and read through yur book again tonight paul as this helps


  33. lorryt 11th June 2008 at 6:20 am - Reply

    Sorry, its like im oversensitive about everything, and analyzing it all again,. im not sure if its me being anxious, or just after 8 years of really not feeling much to feeling everything, or it could be both. i have days where i feel fine which i admit are becoming more i guess, but at the moment the scary thoughts are around constantly. lorryt

  34. Debbie 11th June 2008 at 12:24 pm - Reply

    Lorryt you said yourself that you are having more days where you feel fine. JUst take this as a setback, and we can only have setbacks if we are moving forward.. trust in yourself.
    I have a question, paul you talk of not fightin your syptoms… what about the tiredness????? i fight that nearly everyday, its a general feelin that i could easy sit an have a nap!! it gets batter around night time.. any way. is fighting that ok??????? i don’t worry about being tired as i know that anxiety/depression causes it. but just not sure how to deal with it? any addvise?
    on the subject of DP, i think i have a mild form of it, i don’t think its as bad as some people. i just generally feel like everything is fuzzy. blurred even, i’ve not been able to wear my glasses cause it feels weird when they’re on!!! its a strange side effect!!! anbody shed any light on this??????? on a positive note, i’m workin and enjoying it! getting on with my life. we got 3 pigs last month! we’re fattenin them up for xmas!! dunno if i’ll be able to eat them, they’re so cute!!

  35. lorryt 11th June 2008 at 1:13 pm - Reply

    cheers debbie

    i loose sight of my focus when i feel like this, but reading a few other comments , and the fact that it is just adrenelin running round your body that causes all this, tends to make it more bearable, and the acceptance comes back.
    love pigs, but couldnt eat em !!!!!

    cheer again, im like a train – getting there!

  36. JR 11th June 2008 at 4:19 pm - Reply

    I’ve wrote a lot recently, but am getting better!!! Please help if anyone has experience the below or knows what I’m doing right or wrong. This blog has be a lifesaver!

    what i’ve noticed is that 99.5% of my thoughts that pop into my head are negative and go against what a truly want out of life or just a day. it seems that all my thoughts run together and that there is a constant eye on all the thoughts that are running through my head…and i’ve noticed that my mind is always worrying about this or that, what they think about me or who I am or why i’m not happy, etc. With DP this just complicates things b/c you don’t feel like yourself and you feel like if you could just break through this than you could easily get through the rest.

    I had a pretty good day on Monday, but now am struggling. Yesterday I woke up am a deep sleep and was just kind of out of it. Today, I woke up this morning with my mind running from dreaming and just did my morning routine and went to work. My problem is that I just listen to my mind chatter and kind of do what it says or feel how it tells me to feel…it’s hard for me to fully disregard the mind chatter because i’ve listened to it so much for so long…but when i keep disregarding it as not truth and mind chatter bought on by anxiety and sensitasasion i feel tons better and my mind is clearer because I’m not tuning into it all…but I have to keep reminding myself of this over and over throughout the day (because my mind pulls me into listening). this can be very hard at times and when I’m fully tuned into my thoughts it’s very hard to break the cycle and pull away from them. The point that i am at is that I don’t know if this is fighting anxiety or just trying to break this bad habit of i guess it’s called introspection. The days that I do let my mind race and tune into my chattering mind are horrible and I always fell very tired and distant from everything. And sometimes I have a major urge to act on thoughts and if I don’t more negative thoughts will come…but is probably just adrenalin.

    Has anyone felt like they totally understand something in the book one day when they read it and the next it makes no sense at all?

  37. lorryt 12th June 2008 at 7:30 am - Reply

    yes today i feel absolutely knackered due to lack of sleep and my thoughts are chattering away, its the sickness i cant handle. the fact also that i really dont enjoy life anymore. i have 2 kids and want to get involved with them but it all seems like a massive effort for very little fun. Paul has convinced me that i wll recover in time, although its been a year, and things have improved it feels like an uphill struggle to get through each day. but i understand about the chatter and to let it ramble on its own and not listen, but its hard i know. sometimes i just want to sit and cry, but we will all get there. keep reading the book and more and more it will all drop into place , and one day it will all make sense, i t has certainly helped me a lot.
    I am too introspective and think too much and that starts my thoughts off.

  38. Tarmo 12th June 2008 at 9:49 am - Reply

    Lorryt, consider yourself lucky if you only struggled for a year with anxiety before finding this place. Most of us here suffered for many years without having a clue what was going on.

    I know how awful it feels to wake up to a new day feeling like nothing gives you joy and everything you do seems meaningless. This is the hard part to accept and you easily start going against the stream again without even noticing it. But you should’ve seen me 6 months ago and compare it to what I am now, it’s a huge difference. What I did was nothing more than I jumped to the stream and stopped fighting back. The key thing for me was to become more active. It was REALLY difficult at first because everything felt so meaningless but the more I left home the more meanings I found and everything started feeling more natural. There have been up and downs for sure but hey, that’s what life is like anyway. Don’t expect an instant salvation just because you found the keys to recovery. Keep the course, keep the faith.

    One thing that has also helped me is weekly talk-therapy. I know this subject is not discussed here and it’s not one of the essential factors in Paul’s method (although he does mention in the book that if you feel therapy is helping, then go for it). Thanks to therapy I started tracking down the roots of the problem, which was far in the past instead of the recent years’ incidents that made my anxiety explode and turn into dp. We all have different stories but I wanted to point out that for me therapy has opened a lot of knots and it’s been a wonderful introduction to myself. I just wish more therapists knew what Paul knows. This is why I feel that for me the best way is to combine these two.

  39. Tarmo 12th June 2008 at 9:53 am - Reply

    “Has anyone felt like they totally understand something in the book one day when they read it and the next it makes no sense at all?”

    J.R., I think we’ve all been there!! Very frustrating but it’s ok, no need to fight it.

  40. lorryt 12th June 2008 at 4:13 pm - Reply

    hi tarmo

    its been about 8 years in total, but this last year i hit rock bottom. I understand that others have had a rougher time , sounds like you included and i appreciate all your help. i wasnt giving my sob story, just trying to get feed back and help. i know everyones story is different and i am so glad i found pauls book and you lot. i just cant get my head round things sometimes, and everyones input really puts it all in perspective.

    Thanks again and ill try and be more positive.

  41. No More Anxiety 12th June 2008 at 10:46 pm - Reply

    Tarmo never has a truer word been said than your statement below. And the very reason people ask ‘Am I doing this right’ What they mean is ‘It has been a month now and I am not better’ which I keep saying it takes time, very wise words and I can tell you have a full grasp of the message and have worked out so much for yourself.

    Don’t expect an instant salvation just because you found the keys to recovery. Keep the course, keep the faith.

    Aslo Lorry I don’t think for one minute Tarmo thought you were giving a sob story, he always trys and advises very well. What he may mean and I think also is that you don’t need to try and run before you can walk. When you say ‘Am I doing things right’ you are questioning everything again and becoming impaitent because you don’t feel great straight away or have a bad day. And there is nothing to do but accept this is you for now. It is never ‘A Do’ it is the very trying to ‘Do something about it’ that keeps you in the cycle.

    Tarmo on your question

    “Has anyone felt like they totally understand something in the book one day when they read it and the next it makes no sense at all?”

    I did answer this a few weeks back and yes it is very common. Firstly I am on a photoshop course at the minute and when I am doing the 3 hour course and we go through a new project I work and understand everything. I go the week after and i forget what we did, so he has to give mne a quick refresher. Add that to a tired mind that does not soak up information too great and also that are old habits seem to drag us back in and you have your answers. It is the repeated doing that brings us to total understanding and it just becomes automatic. As I said in the book, when we first learn to drive nothing comes automatic, we seem to have to think through everything until the day comes when we don’t even know we are doing it.

    Hope that helps.


  42. lorryt 14th June 2008 at 9:03 am - Reply

    hi there

    apologies to tarmo, i may have come across wrong, didnt mean to.

    i listen to everyones advice, and appreciate that we all have different circumstances hence we all have different input. i guess i have to slow things down in my head, and step back from this for a while.

    have a good day all.


  43. lisa 14th June 2008 at 4:55 pm - Reply

    hi paul, hows your book on dp coming along?

  44. Paul Mc 15th June 2008 at 6:29 pm - Reply

    This is off topic , but never the less an anxiety issue . I dont often ask for advice on here but instead learn from what others have achieved and experienced through recovery !
    Its an issue i have often wanted to post and would much appreciate feedback from those who can relate to or offer advice !
    Recovery from anxiety , IS , in itself a major hurdle , but one which can be achieved ! My problem however ,is trying to make that recovery happen and deal with all anxiety issues , while at the same time dealing with ongoing personal problems which to be honest continually drag me back into the clutches of anxiety and furthermore dp !

  45. Paul Mc 15th June 2008 at 6:39 pm - Reply

    I cannot be the only one who has found themselves in this situation , and for those who may be or have, experienced this ,it is a complete minefield of emmotions which only adds to the already confused state of mind anxiety brings ! I apologise If I’ve been vague but hopefully you can understand what I’m trying to say and leave some feedback ! I know this is not an agony aunt column , but my main priority is recovery from anxiety , its just how to tackle this I’d appreciate advice on !
    Paul Mc

  46. Rick 15th June 2008 at 9:05 pm - Reply

    Hi Paul
    I no exactly what you mean, when i was in my worst state i didnt no what was causing all the dreadfull symptoms and racing thoughts which i was experiencing. However now i have a calmer attitude and have timetreflect clearly, its quite obvious where alot of the anxiety was coming from.
    My girlfriend has a little girl and the biological farther is lets say ”very disruptive-agressive” Me personally have to run my business which is very stressful. So just looking at these two factors brought alot of anxiety, Obviously i carnt change who the farther is although i treat her like she s my own, what i can do is help myself when it comes to the conflicting situations. I think once i calmed from the major symptoms it becomes clear how ”self help” plays its role. Its been a very up and down ride including rifts with the ppeople close to me, but you learn who the real people who care about you are..
    Hope this helps Paul and is not out of context…

  47. Frank 16th June 2008 at 2:05 pm - Reply

    Hey there.

    I dont want to go too off topic, but I’m just wondering if anyone experiences heartburn during their anxiety bouts. I guess it can be related to anxiety since worrying ties knots in our stomach and this may cause acid reflux. Just wondering if Paul or anyone else can relate to, or elaborate on this.

  48. Paul Mc 16th June 2008 at 2:07 pm - Reply

    Thanks for taking the time to reply Rick , I can see what your trying to say , that once the anxiety susides, things become that bit clearer in your head as to how things really are , and not how you may percieve them , in the midst of an anxious state ! I suppose everyones particular circumstances are all very different !

  49. Paul Mc 16th June 2008 at 8:02 pm - Reply

    Confused ? yeah ! where did that last post disappear to ? this stress is not good for an anxiety sufferer you know !

  50. Paul Mc 16th June 2008 at 8:03 pm - Reply

    Think you knocked it on the head Frank !

  51. Manuella 16th June 2008 at 8:38 pm - Reply

    Hey…where’s the link?! PAUL! I WAS GOING TO WATCH IT…(sobbing)

  52. JR 16th June 2008 at 9:25 pm - Reply

    paul mc i know what you mean about personal problems and trying to get through them to get through anxiety and dp. I listened to an audio of claire weekes and it really hit home for me that we need to accept and not just put up with these sensations. Over the weekend some really tough things happened and I just said I going to accept EVERYTHING that happens about it…the way I act, if I say the wrong things sometimes, if I make a fool out of myself, if I have heavy dp for awhile, if my thoughts run wild and think the worst thoughts possible about everything and my relationships, if I offend anyone with what I say (of course not overboard), etc…what i found out was that the real me surfaced and things looked pretty real I felt like I was a part of the world.

    the advice i would give you is to try your best to work out the personal situations, don’t make too many life-changing decisions while your like this, and ACCEPT EVERYTHING. Even if it really “stings” to accept it do it anyway because by accepting everything and not paying any attention to that mind chatter or running mind, you are getting closer to recovery.

  53. JR 16th June 2008 at 9:33 pm - Reply

    forgot to mention this…i noticed that just slowing down, taking things slower from eating to talking to walking, just slow down the rush around…at first this made me notice my symptoms more and my mind kept telling me to start rushing around and withdraw from them. I am still learning to do this but it really has helped a ton (although i may notice a symptom or two that was hidden before, i now know what it is and just laugh and welcome it in to the family of symptoms…don’t forget that this is your body and mind, love yourself and welcome the feelings and feel them all the way through…no more tensing)

    hope this helps someone…

  54. Candie 16th June 2008 at 11:10 pm - Reply

    Yep, i am deffinately confused? what is this link you all talk about? there is one in the post for obsessive thoughts.. but it doesnt work 🙁

    Have i missed something?

    It doesnt take much to confuse this anxious mind these days!

  55. Manuella 17th June 2008 at 8:52 am - Reply

    Hello Candie…

    We’re talking about a new topic with a link to a very interesting interview, it was quite long but I started watching it yesterday…but it disappeared…

    (or did I? God, I’m not sure… hehehe)

  56. Paul Mc 17th June 2008 at 2:21 pm - Reply

    yes you did Manuella ! and so did i ! somebody is playing silly buggers !
    Its not often you miss something Candie ! and JR thanks you very much for posting , I dont think its talked about often on here ,how ongoing problems are a continuing source of anxiety and certainly hijacks the road to recovery however determined you are , sometimes ! It can be a very difficult hurdle to navigate , any more thoughts on this are most welcome .

  57. Candie 17th June 2008 at 5:15 pm - Reply

    lol the link its in the post on obsessive thoughts, as paul thought it was more appropriate in there. If that is what you are talking about?

    if ya press play, then pause it and leave it for 20 mins.. it should play all the way through without stopping and starting to buffer.


  58. Candie 17th June 2008 at 5:18 pm - Reply


    Is that what your looking for???

  59. Paul Mc 17th June 2008 at 5:49 pm - Reply

    Your soooo on the ball ! ! ! Inspector clueso !

  60. Candie 17th June 2008 at 6:53 pm - Reply

    i know 😀

  61. Manuella 17th June 2008 at 9:44 pm - Reply

    Candie! I went to the O.T section and..surprise, surprise! Loads of things going on…
    I’m feeling like the fat girl, the one no one wants in the team! loool…I had no idea that was so many new comments in another topics.


  62. Candie 17th June 2008 at 10:19 pm - Reply

    Lol Manuella, i think its because new people joined the site!

  63. No More Anxiety 18th June 2008 at 12:09 pm - Reply

    Sorry for confusing you, my fault completely. I am going to have to leave posts alone. O.k the reason I moved it is because I thought the people who may really benefit were the people in the section I moved it to and don’t like labels of O.C.D and did not want people to think ‘Oh I may have that’. Rubbish, it just had some very good points in it and I thought it was great on the thoughts issue that can bother people. I have had emails asking where it has gone, I promise to behave and stop moving things around.

    Hope everyone is good, new post coming up this Monday. Again I like to post less often so it is good info and not just post for the sake of it.

    Take care, hope all are well.


  64. Tarmo 18th June 2008 at 12:46 pm - Reply

    Been living without internet for a while, sorry for the late reply.

    Lorryt, no need to apologize, don’t worry about it! But yeah, Paul’s intepretation of my text was correct.

    Oh and Paul, it was actually J.R. who asked about the problem of remembering the advice one day and forgetting the next, I only quoted him in my reply. But your answer and comparison to the photoshop course was awesome!

    PaulMc raised an important issue (dealing with personal problems and the way they affect the anxiety). When you have a cycle of problems in your mind already it’s easy to add more. I’d advice to talk about these problems to someone (someone close to you or, if you choose, a therapist) before they become too big in your mind. Kind of breaking the new cycle before it starts taking too much space. Works for me – often makes me see the problem in a different light and the pressure fades.

  65. lorryt 18th June 2008 at 2:23 pm - Reply

    Hi all

    well have just had an interview for a job come through, which for me is a big test as i thought i may go into panic mode. I have accepted the fact that i may feel a bit nervous on Monday ( big day), but i shall not give it another thought and not worry about it, and get myself all worked up over it, if its meant to be its meant to be, > i can only try my hardest ! i see nothing to be gained from getting anxious about it. well i say this now but if i can get thru it without too much stress i shall see it that i have come a long way .
    Hope everyone is well.

  66. lorryt 18th June 2008 at 3:05 pm - Reply


    can i ask you how you are doing coming off your meds??. i was prescribed sertraline for depression/anxiety last august, and am feeling quite a lot better, but am concerned that coming off em may set me back again? . i know i have to do it gradually ( i have been on a few drugs , fluoxetine, venlafaxine), but how do you feel things r going ?


  67. Candie 18th June 2008 at 5:28 pm - Reply

    Great Lorry, i came of them pretty quickly so iv slowed down the last dosage, it didnt bother me the slightest.. i feel a lot clearer in my mind now. Many people will tell you that at first you worry, but ya soon realise its ok.

    If u feel like they help u, then come of them when your ready and really slowly. 🙂

  68. No More Anxiety 18th June 2008 at 7:01 pm - Reply

    I agree with you Tarmo, talking with someone does help release a lot of baggage you maybe carrying around with you. Many people ask me if I saw anyone in my suffering that helped. One lady I was sent to by the nhs and she just let me talk and really listened. She never claimed to know about the subject beyond the basics but I found talking really helpful and someone that not only really listened but never judged. I always felt better for seeing her, a lot clearer like I had emptied a lot of my mind.

  69. Paul Mc 18th June 2008 at 8:26 pm - Reply

    Thanks Tarmo for your advice , I think its probably the right and most helpfull thing for me to do , if i’m honest i’ve always tried to deal with personal and anxiety issues on my own , not really thinking anyone had the answers or could help me , but your right ! just being able to talk about it is probably all thats needed to begin with , thanks all , its always very nice to know there are good people on here prepared to offer their help and advice , while dealing with their own problems !
    Paul Mc

    JR just back tracking on something you mentioned earlier in the blog about rushing about , your the first person i’ve heard bringing this up , I have for years , rushed around non stop , from first thing in the morn till last thing at night getting my job done as fast as i can , to making a cup of tea as quickly as i could , with the thought ,its what i needed to do to get through the day , otherwise everything would fall flat on its arse !!! (SORRY PAUL!!) Its taken me some time to change this bad habit , and guess what , i can get as much done in the day regardless of the apparent slower pace and without the added pressure and stress i was putting on myself ! I think us anxiety sufferers are very demanding of ourselfes , but slowing ourselfes down is all part of the road to recovery and thehealing process !

  70. JR 19th June 2008 at 2:15 am - Reply

    tarmo slowing down is something that i really can’t believe the affect it has. it crazy to see that you still get all you work down and even have more time. we really do put tons of stress on ourselves by rushing around. i’ve found i do “notice” symptoms a little more but this just gives me your of an opportunity to practice accepting and the whatever attitude.

    i wanted to ask what people have done (or not done) to become less selfish with anxiety and if it’s something that will pass with anxiety or something I should work on now. It seems that with anxiety and dp that selfishness comes along side because you’re always worried about how you feel, what you feel like in certain situations, etc. it’s always me, me, me…i want to become must less selfish now and wondered if it just comes as the anxiety and dp fades or something i should be working on now.

  71. lorryt 19th June 2008 at 7:09 am - Reply

    cheers candie

    i think i will take things slowly for now, but im sure as my attitude takes over and changes my mindset, things will become even again.
    appreciate your help and well done !

  72. lorryt 19th June 2008 at 7:09 am - Reply

    cheers candie

    i think i will take things slowly for now, but im sure as my attitude takes over and changes my mindset, things will become even again.
    appreciate your help and well done !

  73. Beth 19th June 2008 at 4:41 pm - Reply

    I, too, have noticed that I am always rushing. It is like a self imposed deadline. I realized that I am the only one who will notice if certain things don’t get done. Most all of the stress in my life has been put on me by me so I have started to just be happy with whatever gets done. And like you said, I still get pretty much the same accomplished, just at a less frantic pace. (in my mind)

  74. Shirley D. 19th June 2008 at 8:33 pm - Reply

    Anxiety no more – good words indeed because I have anxiety no more!!!!
    Not posted for a while, went on the family holiday to Malta, never gave it one thought – getting on the plane etc, never felt odd on holiday either.
    I now have a second job which takes me right through the week, every day at both jobs I gain more confidence. For Weds Thurs and Fri I have to be at work at 8.45, i’m always quarter of an hour earlier!!! Ok, i mainly work on my own but there is constant hussle and bussle, with it being Social services I get some harrowing things before my eyes, but i’ve learned to switch off, some people are very unfortunate with their lives, again I think ‘there but for the grace of God go I’ . I would never have beleived the transformation, those worst 6 months of my life. I can’t even remember what I felt like then. I have recovered!
    Shirley D

  75. Manuella 19th June 2008 at 9:17 pm - Reply

    Shirleeey! How wonderful! How powerful…absolutely fabulous!

    I feel reinvigorated (is that a english word?) when read posts like that!

    Very, very happy for you! CONGRATS!


    (Portugal just lost against Germany…daaamn!… But your post felt just like heaven!)

  76. JR 19th June 2008 at 9:46 pm - Reply

    great news Shirley!!!! SO happy for you!

  77. Candie 19th June 2008 at 10:42 pm - Reply

    Fantastic News Shirley, really pleased for ya 😀

    its great when people come on here and let us know how much better they are, not only does it give us all hope that it will be us too one day… but its also nice to have some positive news on here too 😀

  78. Shirley D. 20th June 2008 at 7:00 am - Reply

    Thankyou for your comments, yes, I would never have beleived that I could recover, despairing every day at such a horrid affliction. I was lucky enough to be given the right circumstances to start my road to recovery, I don’t walk stooped anymore, i’m taller, I smile and laugh and make conversation with ease. Something is definitately smiling down on me at the moment. And it’s not the sun!!
    I don’t have Beta blockers anymore, they are consigned to a drawer (just in case) I haven’t taken a Beta blocker in over 7 weeks.
    I realy can’t help anyone else with tips because mine happened so naturally, lots of other things to think about that were more overwhelming that the anxiety i suppose.
    Gotta go now, dry my hair and head out to work.
    I wish everyone else all the very best and would like to wish you all a speedy return to yourselves.

  79. jo 20th June 2008 at 7:20 am - Reply

    Hi all,
    Shirley that is fantastic news, im so pleased for you! it really lifts me when I read how well people are doing.
    I havent been on for a while, and have been doing pretty well the last week, I totally relate to the posts about rushing around, its what I do best!
    Im always rushing round like a mad thing at work, always worried that im not gonna get everything done in time, like beth says im the only 1 who notices when things dont get done, I just need to slow down and stop worrying about stuff that no one else worries about.
    Ive got 5 weeks til I get married, and im starting to feel really excited, thats a feeling I havent had for a very long time, and it feels great!
    Im really enjoying all the preperations, everything is coming thogether nicely.
    lorryt im also on meds, which I find help, and I know once things have settled down, that I will be able to come off them, I think you shouldnt put pressure on yourself to get off them, until you feel truely ready, when that time comes, you will know.
    Take care all, Jo xxx

  80. Peter 20th June 2008 at 7:55 am - Reply

    Hi all I think it’s great that Shirley is doing so well and interesting what she said about other things in her life ‘taking over’ the importance of anxiety. I think this reinforces the importance of just getting on with your day/life and filling it with things you enjoy doing and not dwelling on the anxiety so much.

    I am certainly not doing this as much as I should be at the moment and believe that this is holding my recovery back. The problem seems for me that habit and memory keep reminding me of things/feelings I’d rather not remember but I realise now that you just have to keep going with these things in the background if need be and not let it ruin your day!

  81. Beth 20th June 2008 at 2:06 pm - Reply

    Shirley, Congratulations!!!You are where we all want to be (and will be!) This might be a difficult statement to understand, but, on the days that I forget to remind myself that I have anxiety (because I am busy with things outside myself), I feel great. So I can see that when you finally string a bunch of those days together, that is when you really start to see the recovery.

  82. Shirley D. 20th June 2008 at 5:47 pm - Reply

    Keep stringing those good days together and you will win.
    I cannot beleive that my posts have generated so much interest and support and well wishes, it just testifies that each person on here is a great support to the others. I would never have got where I am today without being involved with this website, stumbled across it quite by accident and it has been a life saver.
    It’s nice to see new names and some of the older ones too.
    I suffered for six months and seemed to recover over night, had one or two slightly wobbly moments but it was a positive upward step.
    When i first came on this site, everyone seemed to be at the same stage, really down hearted and despairing, I can see people are recovering because of their sense of humour and more jolly posts.
    I beleive sometimes it does depend on your personality, i’m lucky enough to have an outgoing one and give everyone the benefit of my nice thoughts (unless they cross me) and try to see the good in everyone as much as possible.
    I can see that everyone on this site, think as one, breath as one because they all have the same thing in common.
    So, I am passing on the message that you can recover entirely.
    I am having a right humdinger of a battle with a character on youtube at the moment (hope i can mention this) he is the lowest of the low, at one time I would have taken this to heart and felt sick at what he was writing and my return comments, now I have just told him he has given me the best laugh all year. it is at times like these that i realise the old Shirley is still there, the battler, the one that winds people up, not that weak little person of six months ago who let that ‘demon’ take over my entire life.
    My sleeping pattern has returned to normal, I can’t get enough sleep in fact, six months ago i was having no sleep and making such an issue about it, ok the accepting is quite difficult because you expect miracles straight away, I found I didn’t think about any of it any more and hey presto, I was on that road to recovery.
    My second divorce is starting to move along, i am upset at the other half’s attitude, but I just tell myself what will be will be, worrying can’t and doesn’t change a thing, in fact makes it all the more worse because you are feeding the fire.
    I will close my post now with a little story – not really related to anxiety but i hope it will make you smile (and doesn’t get me a litigation) please tell me Paul if i’m going to get struck off the site!!!
    When i worked in the charity shop there was a little pilfering going on by customers (can you beleive it?) but one of the funnier incidents was: The assistant manager came to me and showed me a pair of sandals. She had that morning slung (pardon the pun) (sling backs) a load of summer sandals into the window display to whet peoples appetites that summer was just around the corner. At closing time she showed me this pair of sandals and said that she hadn’t put them in the window because they didn’t have a price tag on the bottom. Some mean spirited person had crept into the window display, taken the shoes they fancied and then left us with the ones they had discarded, all under our very noses, it was very funny at the time, and when i laughed at that I realised the irony of the fact that there is always someone worse off than you!!!!! And that my sense of humour which i had lost down the line was well and truly returned.
    Shirley D

  83. JR 20th June 2008 at 7:30 pm - Reply

    Again awesome news Shirley…it sure is great to hear your success story. Just an update on myself I am doing much better and again the slowing down pattern has helped me a lot…it’s funny how much i tried to cover up my condition even to myself…i checked with Paul to make sure this website link was ok to post, but i found this man through a little searching. He’s teaches acceptance and gives links to Claire Weekes audio files for free. Acceptance is how he recovered as well. Hope this helps, it know it was a great to see someone else out there not charging an arm and leg for the way out of anxiety…take care all.


  84. Paul Mc 20th June 2008 at 7:30 pm - Reply

    Shirley well done , It dosent seem that long ago you were in the depths of despair , the same feeling we have all experienced from time to time , but you kept faith in the message given on here and have come out the other side . Recovery may take longer for others caught deeper in the cycle of anxiety but you are yet again another example that it is there waiting for us , when the time is right !
    Paul Mc

  85. Shirley D. 20th June 2008 at 8:30 pm - Reply

    Yes Paul Mc C very true.
    You have been a great support to me. Thanks.
    I just wish I could wave the magic wand over everyone’s head and cover them with the fairy dust – make it all alright. Alas, cannot do but i just say to everyone, don’t ever give up, your time surely will come.

  86. lorryt 21st June 2008 at 1:17 pm - Reply

    well done shirley, you are testament to us all that we can all recover .
    we all have the strength and knowledge to do it too !!

    keeps us all going knowing that there is an end insight

    best wishes


  87. lisa 21st June 2008 at 8:45 pm - Reply

    hi just got back off holiday,would like to say well done shirley 🙂

  88. Shirley D. 22nd June 2008 at 11:38 am - Reply

    Yes, the message is there to us all – a success story. Triumph over adversity.
    Keep heading in the right direction, it will come for you all in the end.

    Shirley D

  89. Juan 26th June 2008 at 4:07 am - Reply

    I decided to post this here because it my sound similar but it isnt. i just one day started seeing coincidecess, like i would hear a song and then i would hear it again everywhere or i would read about it somewhere, so i thought that maybe i was imagining reality and everything was like some kind of dream. later i read that many people experience that and its called synchronicty, but according to them, those coincidences have meaning, so i heard a song saying that reality is a dream and i started to have coincidences with the song and i began to think what if its a message saying that this is an illusion, now i have coincidences with everything related to reality being an ilusion and its so hard being like this. my email is juancho0008@hotmail.com its my messenger too.

  90. Tarmo 26th June 2008 at 2:00 pm - Reply


    what a great link!! I’d suggest everyone with dp to listen to the third part of Claire Weeks’s audio tracks. Very comforting stuff and well explained.

  91. trey 29th June 2008 at 12:18 pm - Reply

    hi everyone i just wanted to say i think in finally accepting all i have is anxiety and i have improved greatly but i have a question when im asleep i will wake up in the middle of the night feeling very anxious but im half awake and having dp, but so tired i cant focus to just relax so when i finally do wake up in the morning i fell out of it for about 15 min like i have been on some wierd acid trip all night so i have been starting to have anxiety about going to sleep again? anyone had a similar experince?

  92. SJ 29th June 2008 at 5:38 pm - Reply

    Mornings seem to be the worst time of the day for me. I wake feeling lost and constantly need reassurance that things will get better. I also have children and a very supportive husband who try their best to help me through. I had the first signs of anxiety about 6 weeks ago but was unaware until physical symptoms materialised which scared the hell out of me as i have always been fit and healthy and i find i worry about the effects this is all having on my body. I found myself looking for answers on here as it all gets so confusing with the ups and downs. I am not on any medication, exercise, eat properly and very rarely have restless nights and keep hoping that the day will come where i will be back to myself and i find myself believing that day will never come which i know is negative thinking. So many people offer advice but until you are in this position things are easier said than done. I have read all the comments and can relay to most but i cannot stop feeling scared that this will all lead to further problems down the track. Does anyone else feel this way too?

  93. Candie 30th June 2008 at 8:35 pm - Reply

    Yes me trey, i had it for a while. In the end i was so tired, i just gave in and said to myself if something bad happens, so be it. I was just too tired, and nothing bad did happen! It was just habit from a one of anxiety attack.

    Mine went away eventually, all aspects of anxiety always do. It only ever sticks if u make an issue out of it. When i gave in and went to sleep anyway, i slept a lot better after that night.. and eventually it disapeared

  94. JR 1st July 2008 at 8:02 pm - Reply

    tarmo it is a comforting audio to listen. glad it helped. trey i’m actually going through the same situation you are at the moment with sleeping and waking up feeling all weird…my recovery to this point has been very up one day and down the next or up one week and down the next. But what I have been noticing is it seems i’m climbing the stairs to recovery. By that I mean I starting to feel symptoms that I had or sort of act how I did while falling into this condition. An example is like eating, when I used to get anxiety before the dp and extreme anxiety, say before a game or before a speech or something, i wouldn’t be able to eat anything because my stomach was just so sour. I’m starting to feel that again, but this time know to just accept it.

  95. lisa 2nd July 2008 at 1:44 pm - Reply

    hi sj,all of us on the blog have and do feel how you do,but the more your scared, the more fuel your giving the anxiety, the more the cycle will continue.youv only suffered 6 weeks with anxiety by your post,have you bought pauls book?there is alot more information in there that you will find helpful.its all about facing your anxiety,accepting it,letting go and time.the more you learn the more you will understand,understanding your fears to your anxiety you will overcome it.the fears grow bigger when you dont understand that lead into depersonalisation or depression.thankfully paul put this website together to help us as hes been through what we all suffer from and has fully recovered.good luck sj.

  96. Flo 14th July 2008 at 12:33 am - Reply

    That was one calming and wise post.
    I appreciate what you do, keep it up!
    I now have a bit more confidence in taking matters more softly now.
    Thank you!

  97. Gerard 21st July 2008 at 7:56 pm - Reply

    Hi everyone,

    Does anyone got through this, their mind is not with them ? for example when you are talking with someone or do something, you are conscious at what u r doing, but your mind is not with you. That is what I am going through.. I had anxiety first with all this weird feelings and I started to question it daily, and then I develop running thoughts. Could not control my thoughts at all as it will keep racing through my mind. And one day, i was at my office, and everything started to turn grey to me. I develop Depersonalisation / Derealisation. I lost my feelings and the sense of who am I? I bought Paul’s book (great book) and the only thing I don’t know what to do is to accept myself as my mind is not with me? If anyone knows the answer to my question, please help me…

  98. Jesser 4th October 2008 at 1:08 am - Reply

    It is such a relief to see that other people have felt this way. I always feel when I am talking to people, like the person above me, that I am conscious of my actions but my mind is not with me. And I feel derealization, that the world is unreal, and detached….I dont know..this is all so wierd

  99. Paige 15th November 2008 at 12:03 am - Reply

    This has helped me alot already im so happy that i am not the only person going through this. I always have the fear that i am going crazy and that there is no way to stop this. But i also wonder if you ever had thoughts,feelings,or memories ever run through your head like crazy when you try to sleep?

  100. Kay 3rd December 2008 at 7:21 am - Reply

    Hi I am avery happy outgoung fun person who loves life, but I do suffer from depersonalisation at times. I am 35, married with 3 kids and I have a very stressful life between kids, problems in marriage and running our own Company. The first time I got anxiety I was 20, I must say I have always been a worrier and I analyse everything alot, My brother got ill through cancer-thankfully he’s perfectly ok now and at the time while he was get cured for 6 months I was ok never gave it a thought. When he came back I just started feeling wierd and then I started worrying about this feeling and getting panic feelings. This lasted for 2 mths and it wasnt that bad. Then 10yrs later after a period of stress I took a few puffs on a joint and I got a horible feeling and a panic attack I was really scared. The next day I started obsessing about this and I started feelin really wierd spaced out everything just seemed different dreamlike, I didnt feel myself the happy person I used to be, its as if the spark had gone from life. I was all the time obssessing about what I had and I got many panic and anxiety symptoms. I carried on doing things as normal, with my kids work etc.. but in my mind all I had was the fearof this horrible feeling. Eventually I took anti deppressants and after a few months I was ok at the time I thought I was never going to recover and I was going to go crazy. Well after a year on meds I came off, but 6 months later the dp came back but this time I decided not to carry on with meds, I just tried to forget about what I had and it went away. OK 3 years later after more strss and thinking that I could handle everything by myself and after developing a phobia of cancer I thought anything I had was cancer, one day I started seeing little lights (probably migraine) and I panicked thought I had a tumor or I was going blind, it went away, but the next day I started remembering my anxiety and dp again and I got worse. Now i bought Paul’s book and its brilliant. I suffer from anxiety and dp but the worse is the dp, the anxiety goes away and the dp seems to stay longer. I just don’t feel myself and it seems the world around me has shifted a little, a bit as if you have just woken up from a dream. I want to feel the way I used to but I cant its really wierd, sometimes it feels like I dont recognise myself anymore, even though I do. When I’m around my family and familiar places I am much better. I do get better when I stop worrying and analysing how i feel and i just get on with my life and do everything like I normally did, this will put me back to how I was before. Its happened before and I have completely recovered, so this time I will recover too.

  101. Eva 5th December 2008 at 2:22 pm - Reply

    Hi everyone

    I have been diagnosed with GAD and am now seeking therpy through CBT and have just started medication. I’ve been pretty ill and have really scary thoughts, panic attacks etc. What i wondered was if the following was d.p or not. i find it really difficult to describe, but i basically feel really strange and my thought process petrifies me. For example, it started with feeling no joy from things which really scares me still, also I might watch television and see something and my brain thinks ‘oh you would normally like that…why dont you!? Something is seriously wrong!”. i’ve made myself get back to work even although the thoughts are that bad I can barely function, people talking about work and christmas seems to unreal and I just want to be sick. Sometimes it’s so bad I think I cant cope anymore and dont want to be here. Can anyone relate to this? It’s the worst thing i’ve ever had and part of me thinks I’m going crazy, although i’ve read Pauls book and know that everyone thinks that. it’s just that my vision hasn’t changed, it’s only the way i’m thinking of things. many thanks in advance.

  102. Kay 5th December 2008 at 11:23 pm - Reply

    yep Eva i can don’t worry i am usyally a person who loves life, loves going out adn gets on well with everybody.i have 3 small kids aswell and i am married. i am going through an anxiety phase right now, this is my 4th time, but when it happens its awful i just dont seem the same person i used i do everything i do normally work taking care of my kids all after school activities housework etc but i dont feel like i used to be and even though everything is the same it just seems different, also an many things i do my anxiety keep on popping up in my head, i just want to be like i used to its so frustrating cos i think i never will be. it seems like in my head all i have is this thought that i am ill, although i would rather much have the flu than this!!! the one hope i have is that the other 3 times i am have had this i have always fully recovered. about Christmas i always liked it but now i don’t even feel like it i have parties to go to which i loved but i am sacred of going to them feeling so wierd although i will go cos i never avoid any situtaion. for me the best thing to do is just do everything normally and not dwell on anything u feel just think i have anxiety for the time being and all these feelings are due to all the extra adrenalin i have the less i think about this and fear it the quicker i will forget about it and get back to myself.

  103. David 17th December 2008 at 8:56 pm - Reply

    Hello everyone, my name is David and I am new to this blog. Hope everyone is ok. Finally after nearly two years of doctors visits, brain scans, food intolerance tests, to name a few, I finally think there is a name for what I feel. Since Feb ‘07 I have fely spaced out or dizzy/lightheaded everyday and none if the specialists know why. This all started suddenly one day.

    I find that reading, working on a computer can make the feeling worse but I generally get it everyday and very sporadically. It’s hard to describe, like a congestion in my head or a lack of clarity/brain fog. This whole problem makes concentration very difficult. I am glad to see that I am not alone with this and finding this website really does help. Is this depersonalisation?

  104. Jan Marklar 2nd January 2009 at 8:37 pm - Reply

    I’m 48 Female and I’ve been in this funk for a long time. It’s exausting both mentally and physically.
    I don’t know where to begin. There is a faint light at the end of the tunnel however.
    Surreal like…Jan

  105. Candie 3rd January 2009 at 1:57 pm - Reply

    Hey Jan, these older post tend not to get many people visiting them for discussion these days- i only found your post as i moderate the blog and can see who posts where. Why dont you pop along to the latest blog post, there is a lot of discussion going on in there and you will get plenty of feedback too.


  106. Paul 18th February 2009 at 9:44 pm - Reply

    Im suffering with anxiety and can 100% relate to Eva’s post in fact nearly all the posts, dp is the worst thing for me like im not really here and watching tv seems weird, loved ones can feel unfarmilliar, yet i know exactly who they are it’s a very scary and strange thing to go through, no wonder people question “is this anxiety” cause i tell ya it’s very intense, its had me in tears loads of times, disturbing thoughts/dp im going to group therapy and am in search of recovery, any help here would be, thing is with this you think youre the only one suffering, i need help on this as i say in desperate need cause its really upsetting me, thanks for reading.

  107. Hayley H 7th June 2009 at 8:50 pm - Reply

    Hello all, I have been keeping up to date with the posts but this is the second time iv posted on here. I wonder if anyone could help answer my questions? I am 21 years old and have been suffering from this feeling of unreality for over two months now. recently the numbness has started to lift and I feel like I can see my old self coming back but then as quick as it comes on it goes back to me feeling dreamy again. I am so scared this will never go or if it does it will come back? since iv had this feeling i also feel more aware of how i think people think of me and sometimes feel paranoid… is this normal. This feeling of unreality came on with the click of a finger and although I sometimes worry I didnt realise I worried enough to bring this feeling on. Please can someone help reasure me this feeling will eventually go as Im so scared. thank you, Hayley x

  108. Colton Whitehead 12th June 2009 at 5:16 am - Reply

    hey im Colton Whitehead and i 20 yrs olds and i was 16yrs old when i ended up getting a anxiety disorder, i smoked weed for a little bit and one day i it just triggered a anxiety attack and i didnt know what was going on at all i was crying and i was wondering why i felt so much out of reality and fake and it was the scariest exprience ever, after that day i would be in school and i would start feeling dreamy alot and weak feeling and its made freakout to well i would have a anxiety attack at school, so in the 11th gradei ended quiting school and suffered through panic attacks daily and derealisation and D.P. until i was almost 18, it was the worst time in my life but i beat it mentally not with drugs, i had to retrain my thought and get out of those habits of dweeling on my sensations my body was going through, it was tough but eventaully i got out of my anxiety state world and i was free from panic attacks, but the d r and the d p is the hardheaded sensastion its like it wouldnt go away but i just kept trying to to do the things i use to do like skateboard and just anything that makes u escape the daily grind and eventually it faded away thank the good lord :)…
    i just wanted to tell yal that i was 16 and i went through all that and i was young and it ruin my school life and i locked myself away from my friends and couldnt go out with anyone like a normal teenager, so just find ur holy grail, something that takes ur mind off ur sensastion produced by anxiety, you have to retrain ur brain back to the old youso get out of those worry states and keep pushing, and i wanted to give up alot but i was just like this isnt going to be my whole life, living this way…. and now im back to normal and i got my ged, but ever now and then ill feel dreamy but i can disarm it quick cause i know what to do now which is to set your mind on something else, it will try to sneak back up on you later on in life but you will know how to controll it this time, u owe to urself to become better and ur family want u back just like it made my mom so worried for me but i showed her i could do it and i thank her everyday for stayin beside me…
    ur not fake and that is u looking back at u in the mirror and i know it doesnt feel like u and u dont feel real at times, just remember and say it out loud IM real and im going to beat this now.. just man up and Do it , its easier said than done i know, it will give u a better love for life when u get well, take care you guys and ill pray for all yal!

  109. Hayley H 15th June 2009 at 5:15 pm - Reply

    Thank you Colton for writnig that post, it ives me so much hope when someone says you will get over it! especially if youve been there yourself. Can i ask how you have retrained your brain? im having CBT at the mo but it doesnt seem to be working, thank you xxxx

  110. amy 4th August 2009 at 11:22 am - Reply

    Hi Paul,
    I’m struggling with DR at the moment and have been for the past 5 months. Altho I don’t feel anxious anymore, the DR has stayed with me and it is the only thing that I feel is holding me back from enjoying life again. I am so frustrated and I have tried to do all the things on your list. I just can’t remember how it feels to be real anymore and I’m worried I’ve adapted to this way of life just to survive which is not what I want! Will this ever go away and will I ever get my life back again as full and happy as I know it? x

  111. Amy Somerset 29th August 2009 at 11:59 pm - Reply

    Hi this is the second time iv had dp, the first I had it it was for almost a year,but I realised u have to not let this symptom bother u, jus shrug it off, it will go because I’m livin proof, but now it’s bk again n it’s hard to cope at the moment because I’m very stressed n need to sort a few things out on my life, then I think the dp will go when I haven’t got all these other worries on my mind, but I do no u can definatly recover from this, with time n patience n the right attitude xxxx

  112. Dave 7th September 2009 at 8:58 pm - Reply


    Like many, I too sufer from anxeity and depression and have had it since the summer and have been taking Zoloft.

    Up until about a month ago, I had been suffering from Derealization which seemed to go almost overnight and I now appear to be experiencing severe Depersonalization as I can relate to a lot of the things people are describing here.

    It really is a horrible feeling in that I feel that I’ve just been put here and don’t know who a I am, as past and present seem to mould into one, giving almost constant Deja Vu yet at the same time it feels like I’m in a new life. I really don’t know if I’m in a dream or awake and feel totally detached from everything and everyone.

    Familiar faces look strange and everything around me seems familiar yet unfamiliar if that makes any sense. Another disconcerting thing I’ve had is it seems almost every memory I’ve had comes to mind at random for no apparent reason like a picture or movie, sometime even dreams I’ve had.

    I too feel emotionally numb and like a Robot, doing whatever someone tells me to do making me feel like a small child. It really is so horrible and confusing and I can see why it makes the anxiety worse as I’m always asking myself what the hell is happening.

  113. francie 5th January 2011 at 1:47 am - Reply

    i am going thru derealization and dp i am on contant worry over it i feel evrything and i am not real and i have irrational fears as well. this has been going on 9months now but i have had depression since i was 18, its hard to see a way out and i am believeing in these thoughts now. panic attacks also take place but this has helped me realise there are other sufferers out there. great site guys.

  114. Amy somerset 21st January 2011 at 5:41 pm - Reply

    Hi all, I’ve just come across the post I wrote in august 09 ^^ I know I wrote it but it seems unfamiliar but familiar at the same time? It’s very strange….. When I wrote that post I did get better, I concentrated on other things… Being with friends, making sure I hot out of the house once a day, eating propally and reading good books, ones that have good endings, eventually I came out of the dr/dp state, it’s funny because you don’t even realise at first, you suddenly realise that you have been fine for a while and can’t believe that you even felt like that……. It’s a great feeling

    Unfortuantly I’m having another bad patch with derealisation, had it for a few months, it’s hard to think you will recover and come out of this but you do! Even I can’t believe that I will make it at the moment but I know deep down that I defiantly will! Just accept it for what it is, don’t let it scare you, relax and spend time with the people you love and try do things u enjoy or used to before you felt like this….. Someone once said to me. ” if you had a broken leg, you would need to rest it and give it time to heal ” it’s the same with an over tired mind… It needs a break from your worrying and obsessing over it! Trust me if I can get through this, anyone can, take care x

  115. Alex 8th February 2011 at 12:14 am - Reply

    First, thanks to all of you that have “escaped” the DR and made the effort to still post here about your road to getting better.

    Second, I want to chime in and say that it is comforting to see that Im not the only one suffering from this. The acceptment/distraction of focus method seems very likely to work and I am going to give it a chance.

    DR feels like losing a bit of your soul. Eveything is meaningless. I used to have high anxiety at times. Then suddenly the anxiety went away, and I started to feel unreal. I think that some psychological trauma events triggered this, combined with some pot smoking.

    Sometimes I feel very guilty for the pot smoking. I really thought it was “bad” but not more bad than alcohol.

    I am also a person that has a very “hypocondrial” disposition, so that I search for what is wrong. This focus is not very beneficial (to say the least) when dealing with dp. I would not say that it is the cause of DP, but it is certainly a trait that maintans the condition. One need to focus on other things for it to go away.

    What gives me hope to become normal again (this is the only thing i want in my life right now) is that i sometimes forget the DP when i do exciting stuff. When i do something new that is kinda scary.

    THere seemes to be a inverted relationship between level of anxiety, and DP for me. The less i feel, the more DP. The more i feel, the less DP.

    Also I think that victimized thinking, passivity, and avoidance of the challenges in life creates or maintains DP.

    Again, thanks for posting your positive stories.

  116. Carly 1st April 2011 at 6:21 pm - Reply

    Hi, am new to this blog but it has given me a lot of hope. I recently purchased Paul’s book which has helped a great deal, so much so I have recommended it to a couple of others. I just have a few little niggles I need clearing up from anyone ‘in the know’ so to speak. I have had constant DP for 8 weeks now, I even rememeber the date it came and didn’t go! Is it common for it to be a constant thing? There are days when I feel positive and think ’sod this, I’m not going to let it ruin my day’ and off I go but then I have days where it is so thick I feel even more exhausted by it all and I question if this is REALLY anxiety? I find it is worse if I am overtired, I feel almost ‘further away’ if that makes sense!? I also have moments where I think what if I can never be truly accepting of this and I’ll miss the boat in terms of recovery?? Arrgghh!

    I am 36 weeks pregnant with my 4th child and I have gestational diabetes so the exhaustion is here to stay for a good few weeks yet and I am accepting of that. I had an intense period of stress and illness in the run up to Christmas and I turned into a gibbering wreck, couldn’t let my partner out of my sight, had to send my children to their Grandmothers for a month, couldn’t drive, go anywhere, unable to run our business properly, it was horrendous! Terrible thoughts of dread, fear of going crazy, death, everything. I was so frightened that I had become afraid of my own body and mind! Just reading Pauls book has made me feel so much better but it’s the DP that freaks me out the most, I even question whether it IS actually DP and not something else….so to summarise I just need to know that CONSTANT DP is/can be part and parcel of anxiety and also one other thing, since the DP descended on me I have also had a very strange taste in my mouth and everything also smells of this ‘taste/smell….it’s not metallic (common in pregnancy) but more of a nasty mince and onion pie!!!! I’m not weird -honest!!! Thanks all x

  117. Shortyroro 9th May 2011 at 12:55 am - Reply

    Hi Paul, I have had anxiety and DP for 5 months now and I was wondering if it is common to completely lose hope in yourself and feel like your entire existence is unreal or just a dream. My whole anxiety started because I started thinking I was stuck in a dream and from there it has led to panic attacks, depression, anxiety, and DP/DR. Lately, I have only really been dealing with DP/DR, but I feel like I have completely lost all hope in believing this is my life. At the beginning, I still felt hope that I would get better, but now I do not even believe that I am really here and that I am not living in a dream. Is this common? I hope so.

  118. Allison 9th May 2011 at 11:31 pm - Reply

    Hi Paul,

    Lately I have been suffering from the fact that my thoughts are so bizarre and I can feel no peace of mind at all. I feel so strange and I constantly am bewildered that I am still in this state eventhough I know why. Also it feels as though I have no idea how to be the person I once was before I started dealing with anxiety. Is this also depersonalization? I have no idea how to be normal anymore or even think of normal things and it is killing me. If anyone has any advice on this or has felt this way please let me know because it is my last symptom to go.

  119. K 27th June 2011 at 11:59 pm - Reply

    Hi Everyone,

    @Allison- i feel the sam way. I often wonder if its dp/dr i have or something else. My vision is dimmer and duller and I haven’t seen anyone post these symptoms as symptoms of dp/dr. This is what gives me the most anxiety. Anyway, I feel for you because I feel the same way. Questioning what is normal anymore..

  120. Vanessa 3rd July 2011 at 8:11 pm - Reply

    Hi all,

    I am new to this blog! i am a 22yr old girl who has been suffering with anxiety and dp for about 3 1/2 months. I read Paul’s book about a month ago and has been soo helpful in giving me peace of mind. My anxiety/panic is hugely reduced and I don’t struggle to go places and my racing thoughts and constant questioning of how to get better are basically gone. However, the dp is still very strong for me and I was hoping someone may have some past experience with this to offer me. It’s a strange symptom as for me it is like I can’t see things as I normally do, or have that emotional connection to my surroundings or the people around me. Paul your information makes total sense to me and has been a huge relief to know that this won’t last forever. I just wanted to know if anyone can relate to this whilst they were going through recovery…. I have a real hyperawareness of dp because of the way I am seeing things and I find myself monitoring if it’s gone or improved etc. The other day for literally 5 minutes a magical thing happened, for a brief moment my surroundings felt 3D again, I felt a burst of reality, things suddenly had and impact on me and I felt a connection to my refection in the mirror. I just wanted to know if this is usual in recovery that sudden moments like that happen and then you go back into the state of dp?? I tried not to react, but that moment of clarity was great evidence to show me this dp really is just a state of mind. Does recovery from dp usually start by having moments like that and does this mean good things to come, possibly more to come?? I have no idea why that moment came, or how, should I try and understand how as a means of getting more? Any stories or advice would be so greatly appreciated!!!!

  121. Kay 18th September 2011 at 11:18 pm - Reply

    Hi, I havnt written in nearly 3 years. In all this time I have been completely ok I am still a worrier but have no anxiety. I want to say thankyou to Paul David cos his book helped me alot. It teaches you that you have the power to to get rid off your anxiety & completely recover. Thankyou !!!!

  122. Gigi 29th September 2011 at 4:51 pm - Reply

    Hi. This is my first time at this blog. I came here because I googled depersonalization. I have only done this once or twice – researched depersonalization online – and when I have done it it has helped me feel less alone. I really liked the post at the top of the page about acceptance. I believe in acceptance in general, although I don’t think I have a lot of hope for myself with acceptance. At least I do not have a lot of hope for myself when it comes to my symptoms. The problem with my “condition” is that it is SO physical. In addition to having depersonalization and anxiety, I have symptoms that are in my body and that really get in my way. The worst symptom is dizziness. It gets in the way of my doing so many things, including connecting to people. It’s hard to connect to people, even people I am close to, when I feel like I am on a rocky boat and can’t find my footing. Much of my energy goes to managing how I am feeling and trying to just survive the dizziness and I have little left over for what is happening in the moment. It is VERY hard for me to just let the dizziness flow through me and to accept it. I am pretty sure that it is a symptom of my emotional stuff (I have been tested for other things and they have found no other cause for the dizziness) and it does go up and down, but I have rarely been able to change it with anything I do. It just comes and goes. And when I try to sit with it, it is almost impossible. I try to run away from it. I am wondering if there are any others on this blog who have a physical component to their DP that is overwhelming. I saw a reference to someone talking about blurred vision but I couldn’t find the original comment. My dizziness (I don’t know if it is dizziness exactly but that is what I cal it) has been so bad that it has affected my ability to work in any normal job. Fluorescent lights drive me crazy as do small spaces with too much going on in them. I have to do work where I am alone and can control my environment. And my relationships have really suffered, too. I can’t just “be” with people because so much of my energy goes to trying to manage and cope with the dizziness. And of course the dizziness causes more anxiety, which can cause more dizziness! So there you have it. I am a prisoner of my own body and it is hard to see a way out. Some days are better than others for sure, but the symptoms seem to come and go based on things that are happening deep within me and it does not seem to respond to what I think and do on a conscious level. And as the person who wrote the entry at the top of the page said, I definitely worry about it. I suppose I could make a change in how much I worry about it, even if I can’t exactly accept it or be calm about it. Maybe just not think about the bigger picture – like next week and next year and what’s WRONG with me? – but just think about today and know that it is happening today and that I don’t know the future or the how or why and that I just need to do my best today.

  123. T 31st October 2011 at 12:15 am - Reply

    I know this is an old post but would like to pitch in. I developed D.P. last year (2011). It took about 5 months to overcome it. How I overcame it, I’m not quite sure because I did overanalyze it everyday. Just out of the blue, my head became clearer and clearer each day. It felt strange to be normal again but was so ecstatic. Exactly one year later, I have it again, not sure how though because I was not going through hard times or any difficult stresses. I am having a difficult time accepting this because it has drastically changed my personality, energy level, and personal thoughts. I went from happy, talkative, fun, to a debbie downer, stays in bed all day, complaining. I also thought that once it goes away, it’s gone for good. I feel mentally weak. I guess I will have to be a little more understanding about it and pretend the strange feelings aren’t there. How can I though? I see and feel it everyday. It’s hard to fake that it’s not there. I know you are right about accepting the D.P. but I just can’t help but notice I’ve become bitter from this…

  124. Franco 23rd March 2012 at 4:39 am - Reply

    i have dealt with dp and dr for the past year almost and i got it from smoking weed one day and it was terrible and i feel the worst part about it was that my friends didn’t understand me and my mother could not do too much to help me so i felt hopeless and so i researched it online and figured out that if u change your diet by drinking more water less caffeine it will help!! especially going on runs outside help to relieve my anxiety i had learned to manage my dp and dr like this for about 8 months until i tried to smoke weed again and i felt it sent me back into this dp dr situation so i recommend not to smoke weed or do drugs because it WILL do you mental harm but i know i will feel better again now because i am going to start running again and eating healthy again and don’t give up because all dp dr is is an obsession of ur thoughts like “do i feel real and stuff ” so when u feel these thoughts just replace them with other ones like what u want to buy ,what movie you want to see and you mind will forget about it and you will feel so much better able to function and be yourself again and if you feel you want to see your doctor about it don’t be afraid because they will at least give you some tranquilizers to help you calm the anxiety and cope with your dp /dr and soon enough you will recover and understand you are in control of your life and not it so fight back.

  125. Heather 28th March 2012 at 10:15 pm - Reply

    Hello Paul! I’m 17 years old and in my junior year of highshool. I first had a panic attack in the summer of last year, but no anxiety or weird feelings afterwards. My second one was during Christmas break this past December. And since then, anxiety and depersonalization has set in. The beginning was horrible and I hated every waking minute of it. I just couldn’t understand what was going on, because these feelings were so new and unexpected. I’ve been able to be A LOT calmer since the start of the year. The only thing bothering me SO much is the DP. I want you to know that your website is amazing and the only one that has helped my attitude improve hugely. I’m just beginning to really take your advice about letting it be and applying it to my life. It’s a very tough thing sometimes, I feel like my emotions control me. I did a wonderful job today at living my life with it there and to not obsess so much over it. I feel like that’s a great first step! And now, my feelings are beginning to slope back down. I’m not sure if it is just natural that they change so randomly, or if it may be my self doubt about recovering that’s bringing me down. I think it may have to do with me allowing these negative emotions overrule me. Your advice really has made an improvement in my life. I would just possibly like to hear from you what you think. I really want to let my body do this right.

  126. Matthew 26th April 2012 at 12:43 pm - Reply

    I had my first panic attack at Christmas last year, had to take two months off of work and recovered – here is what I’ve learned about DP/DR from my own experience, ardent research from numerous perspectives and speaking to others:

    Imagine a balloon extending out from your centre, your “aura” if you will, which determines your sense of self emotionally invested and connected to your body, immediate and larger environment. Depersonalization is Derealisation in it’s acute form. The baloon has completely contracted. When this occurs, you don’t even feel emotionally connected to your mind or body.

    Eventually, Depersonalization will begin to subside – you will begin to emotionally identify with your mind, your body, but there will still be a lingering sense of derealisation to your immediate and larger environment. When this occurs, take it as a sign of progress – you are beginning to let go and come out of your hiding hole. Gradually, you will begin to feel connected to your immediate environment (perhaps family, close friends and some prior interests). Eventually, you will again feel fully connected to your larger environment (I.E, the world) with full senses.

    Here are some practical tips I’ve found helpful when dealing with this phenomena when it’s acute – since a complete letting go isn’t really an option at this stage:

    – Remember always that the clinically insane do not know that they are. One of the major markers of psychosis (I.E, what is deemed to be insanity) is a lack of knowing. There is a big difference between being insane and fearing that you might go insane. The latter is an illusion designed to perpetuate the anxiety cycle. Anxiety can be defined as an obsessive worry about the future. At the time of my DP, I sought therapy and she noted that I’d be the least likely person to go insane, as I had such an awareness of my own mind. Rest assured, insanity or death is an illusion and worrysome thought designed to keep you in the cycle. You’re simply on overdrive.

    – Crying. If you feel hopeless, cry out to someone close. Blubber like a baby. This puts you back in touch with your emotions gradually. Stress hormones are released in tears and you’ll feel better afterwards, and less disconnected.

    – Epsom salts baths to relax. Herbal sleeping tablets. Relaxing music. Sunshine.

    – Reading the accounts of others, and stories of encouragement and progress.

    What didn’t help:

    – Constantly self-diagnosing mentally and via google.
    – Self-help that is focussed on “taking action”

    Ultimately, emerging is a case of letting go. But this may be facilitated by a change in perspective.

    What has this entire ordeal taught me? Have I become a more compassionate, understanding and insightful person as a result? Can I help others get through this? If you can change your perspective and transform a negative experience into something positive, you have more of a chance of succeeding at letting go. This will only be possible to realise when the condition is no longer so acute.

    Letting go also isn’t a case of constantly fighting the feeling of anxiety with thoughts of “I must let go”, “I must overcome this”. That is still feeding the cycle. Letting go is actually just letting go and being in the present.

    Remember, emotions are energized by thoughts. You can break the cycle by accepting how you feel and getting on with your life. You cease to think about it. This naturally occurs after two things:

    – Aknowledgement and realisation that you’ve been creating the illusion all along.
    – You are not your thoughts or mind, but the self or “soul” that is behind the thinker, the awareness or knower. Your mind is an instrument to be used and you are not going to be used by it.
    – A deep decision that you’re fed up with feeling this way and don’t want to do this to yourself anymore.

    Some people may think that there is an underlaying root as to why this has occured, a past trauma or issue deeply embedded in the unconscious – and that digging deep and undertaking therapy might solve the issue. To that I will say, the realisations about your past and why this occured will naturally and spontaneously arise to be integrated once you’ve fully let go of the cycle and fully healed. The mind will unconsciously and naturally begin to integrate the experience and you will grow and become a stronger person as a result. Do not dig deep while in the cycle, it will only perpetuate.

    I hope this is of some help to someone.

  127. jmez 24th May 2012 at 10:28 pm - Reply

    I got D.R from weed I didn’t want to do it was peer pressure a couple of months ago.
    It doesnt really bother me other than the brain fog,awful memory and no emotions feelings other than being nervous.It is really frustrating as I did it(weed) so close to my exams.I carried on doing things I like going to watch my local football team but when we score I cheer but I feel empty.

  128. Ferdinand Wilhelm 13th December 2012 at 4:21 pm - Reply

    Hi Paul,

    I hope you answer on this post, you would really help me ! I have dp/dr from weed, it really frustrated me and I felt exactly like you describe in your book, EXACTLY ! Now my question is if the cause for this situation would be relevant for recovery ? I mean I dont suffer from panic attacks, it came from weed, so I want to know if this way of just dont worrying anymore and go on with your day, just dont to analyse and to live like its not important anymore if recovery comes or not, would also be the right one for me ? I read your book just 2 weeks ago and since then, I really had some good situations, when I felt more awake, more like my old selfe, I really like your book and as you said, this way just feels right, but there ist still is doubt in my mind, that really occupies me, weather this way might not be the right one for me, cause it didn’t come from anxiety, but from drug abuse, I hope so deeply that you read this post and would be so lucky if you would answer me, please !

    Greetings, Ferdinand

  129. Skiuarius 27th December 2012 at 7:28 pm - Reply

    @Ferdinand Wilhelm heya – it’s not Paul, but I think I can help you with answering this question. Even if it’s from something I triggered it like marijuana or whatever else, I still think it’s the same thing. This is due to the fact that no matter how you ended up in the cycle of over worrying about yourself, what feeds the DP and DR is anxiety. Anxiety in your case comes from the fact that you might have done some damage to yourself by abusing whatever you did. From there you take every weird feeling that you have and always relate it to your biggest fear (which is that you made some damage to your brain or whatever).. So, connecting everything that you feel and think with your fears naturally brings more of it as well as more anxiety about yourself and everything that is going on. The bigger anxiety leads to more DP and DR of course 🙂
    I am not professional or anything, but that’s the way I started explaining things to myself and making it logical why things that don’t seem connected to anxiety can actually make you anxious and lead to more stuff to feel anxious about – after all that’s why it’s call CYCLE of worry – the more you do whatever about it, the more power you put on it
    Cheer up!
    If you want to talk to someone, let me know – I am having DR for about 3 months now, but I know I will be better 🙂
    And yes – talking to people who know how you feel REALLY helps a lot. So if anyone wants to talk about it – contact me here – I will give you contact details 🙂

  130. Kroni 7th October 2013 at 8:04 am - Reply

    I certainly hope it does go away. I’ve had this for too long, can’t take it anymore. I keep giving it space, saying “it’s ok”, “it will go away”. It never does, and it frustrates me for that very reason.

  131. Maria 16th December 2013 at 6:51 pm - Reply

    I’m 18 years old suffering with DP. I got DP when I was probably 12 or 13. I remember my first episode I was in front of my whole class presenting my project that I have done over the weekend and then I started feeling weird I started feeling like I wasn’t there I started feeling like I was kind of like blacking out when my teacher saw that she sent me to the nurse and the nurse said nothing was wrong with me but told me to go to the doctors. When I went that same day to the doctor she said there was nothing wrong with me I went to doctor after doctor and never did they say that I had to DP they always said nothing was wrong I was normal. I had episode after episode after episode and no one believed me not even my own mom. I was in my senior year of high school when I decided to diagnose myself I want on Google and type in some of the symptoms and I found the depersonalization disorder. I showed my mom but she was already tired of hearing it because she tought i was faking it to get out of school when she started reading it she realized all the stuff I was feeling matched up with the disorder and talked me into going to a counselor who officially diagnosed me with DP. Theres days that it gets to me and makes me feel like im not normal or why did this have to happen to me but thanks to this website I feel normal again. I will no longer let DP RUN MY LIFE!!!!

    Thank you so much for writing this post!

  132. usayd 12th February 2014 at 9:42 am - Reply

    Hey paul…I’m just 17 and I got hypothyroid and I’ve had anxiety for a month and half, obsessing about my problems. I now feel this unreality – like I’m in this world but I don’t exist and I’m really freaking out. I feel like my memory is getting worse by the day and that “I don’t know if I’ll ever get better” feeling haunts me the whole day. I don’t know if it’s my hypothyroid or DP because my anxiety was only there since December last year.

    [Rich: Edited for spelling and grammar – please use plain English in all posts on this blog]

  133. Molly 21st April 2014 at 12:12 pm - Reply

    Feel like I’ve finally found something that makes sense after google the typical ‘I feel like nothing’s real’ and getting the response ‘have you smoked pot?’ I went out last night into town, normally when I drink I feel fine but last nigh before I went out I felt really really anxious and nervous for no particular reason! Anyway half way through the night I started feeling really odd and although when you are drunk you do feel what I think, almost the same symptoms as depersonalisation, I knew that I wasn’t just drunk! Everything fel really odd like I kept thinking ‘is this really happening , I’m so confused’ anyway woke up this morning and still feel the same like nothing’s quite right! However I have felt like this before after drinking and it normally lasts about a week! Was just wondering if anyone else finds that alcohol triggers it off if you’re already feeling a bit anxious ??? I’m not even sure any of this makes sense !

  134. Einaras 15th August 2014 at 5:43 pm - Reply

    Hey there, Paul!

    I remember reading this chapter in your book, about the Depersonalisation / Derealisation, and it got me thinking..

    Isn’t it the same thing as mindfulness???

    I mean, mindfulness teaches us how to stop caring so much, how to let the feelings be as they are and let it flow without any judgement, and you know.. When I had those depersonalisations in my worst days, I remember watching myself too. (It seemed really scary back then) My body couldn’t take it no longer and wanted me to protect from danger, in other words from myself 🙂

    So I wanted to say that, there is really no point to be scared of depersonalisation! Because you are safe then! Just like people practises mindfulness in order to heal, to rest a bit, this is the same thing to us, sufferers!

    The thing is, that.. Mindfulness is chosen – when we wanna, we do it, and depersonalisation is not – it knows better than us when to come. But both are good, both are required and needed for us, for us to become better.

    Thank you for listening. And I’m really grateful to you, Paul.

  135. Mohit 28th August 2014 at 7:53 am - Reply

    Hi guys, I suffered a panic attack almost 3 months back and since then life has just not been the same. I was going through a lot of stress due to personal issues but it wasn’t something earth shattering like the loss of a loved on or something. So I wake up from deep sleep one day with a jolt to my head and the classic symptoms of anxiety struck. I had feelings of electricity running through my body, tingling of muscles and on top of that this most annoying feeling of looking at everything and feeling like it’s weird. Obviously I googled these immediately and understood that it’s maybe derealization and then reading the forums and seeing that people have suffered with it for years scared the hell out of me and gave me sleepless nights where I would wake up with electrical sensations and fast heartbeat. I was led to Paul David’s book just 20 days after I got the panic attack and fast forward three months, I don’t feel any of these sensations. No physical symptoms are present, I’ve been sleeping well and I am able to completely ignore the tingling of muscles.
    However, I seem to have been mentally affected by this in a severe way. I got paranoid that I was getting short term memory loss and some cognitive dysfunction so I got an MRI scan and I was told everything is fine. I have visited neurologists, psychiatrists, therapists and homeopathy doctors and they all told me that it’s anxiety and I’ve been trying to just tell myself that it’ll go away with time. But I just can’t concentrate on work anymore. It’s not about concentrating but more like I feel like my smarts are gone. I am maths major and numbers and complex thinking has been a huge part of me as far back as I can remember. But now everything seems soo far away! Like even the long term memories seem so far away! I look at people and get anxious wondering how they are able to just read articles and go about doing their work while here I can’t even read a newspaper anymore. I was a really social person and now I just feel scared going out because people would figure out that I’m not at all smart anymore, can’t keep up with conversations and take time to understand jokes. It feels like there’s this huge fog in my head(obviously I learnt this term from googling brain fog). Everything, and I mean everything seems impossible to do. How can I go about doing anything if I don’t have my mind anymore? I drive everyday and go to work where I don’t really do work(I’m at work while typing this) but thankfully the work is chilled out so I can slack a little bit.
    I just get so scared thinking about this, feeling like I’ve lost my memory. I can remember stuff visually but somehow I can’t remember conversations. Like it feels like I’ve lost the memory of language or words yet I’m here typing this.
    I just don’t know how to function when everything I’ve learnt till now in my life and I’m 24, is just completely gone or appears to be there in my mind vaguely. I was given minimum dosage of xanax for fifteen days right after my panic attack after which I stopped all meds and I’m on just homeopathy now.
    Do you think xanax could wipe out memories? I tell myself that it’s the derealization which is stopping me from retaining anything lately but how could it affect long term memories? I could live with everything appearing weird in derealization but how can I function without my mind?? and I know Paul’s advice is to just let it be and not do anything about these feelings but it’s hard for me to believe that slowly I will recover these memories and they will not appear hazy or vague and I will be perfectly back to normal. The thing is, I am not anxious anymore, I don’t feel any rush of adrenaline, I know I’m not depressed, my physical symptoms are gone, but how do I get my mind back? Sorry for the rant but this is the first time I’m making an appearance on a portal and I just had to let it all out because I’m tired of doctors just telling me it’s all anxiety.

  136. ketan kapoor 23rd September 2014 at 11:46 am - Reply

    hi everyone.
    8 months back i had my first panic attack.
    due to stress about my career, and what will i do in future
    i thot it was a heart attack. went thro all the tests, nothin showed any signs of illness. infact i was healthier than a normal person.
    i resumed gymin, but was constantly thinking about that day of the attack.
    started reading over the internet, made it worst.
    i thot i was schizophrenic , bi polar, ocd, and what not.
    all at the sametime.
    it began to get worst. my mind recalled a horror movie, and i thot i had sm spirit in me.
    but i knew it was all crap.i met a really nice girl,
    and it was all going away in a week, but then she backed of as i told her about
    my ocd. now i had nothing to do with my life.
    wanted to die. coz i had nothing left in life. everything seemed, perishable.
    i thot , everyone die, so whats d point in living.
    then i thot, its better to die being smthing , than to die being nothing.
    i started runing again. it was hard. i felt asif ill faint.
    i kept on runing faster, the more my mind said, stop, i said , keep going.

    i read about Buddhism , tried meditating but i got constant headaches.
    jaw pain, jitterin, facial leg and hand spasm,,throughout the day
    kept getting worst. feeling of unreality came.
    a red eye would make me think, that i had a nerve damage in my brain.
    couldn’t concentrate.
    my job is gone now, and my gf too.
    its like this , like living in an empty room. u dont love, u dont worry, ur not hapy not sad.
    i thot i had diabetes, thyroid n what not.
    kept accepting the problems. now im not afraid of running.
    not afraid of gyming. ..but i dont talk to people like i used. still that feeling of DP is there. so much happened in the last 8 months.
    no sign of hope.

  137. dpnomore 1st November 2014 at 2:56 am - Reply

    Thank you so much for this blog! I have been living with this for so long and it is truly awful at times. I even started thinking that maybe it’s better to be in this state, but deep down I hated it. I want to feel joy and true happiness again, instead of this robotic feeling that I find myself in often. I want to feel alive and truly enjoy life and what I’m doing! I am an artist and have been blessed with the opportunity to travel the world performing music every night and cannot seem to fully enjoy it because of this state of being. It’s even affected my singing due to the fact that I feel so disconnected from my body and actually have to remind myself to breath while singing. Many people don’t realize that singing actually requires the use of your whole body and that can be hard to do when you feel so disconnected from your physical form. At times it’s made me feel like giving up on pursuing my musical career and singing in general, but deep down I know it’s what I’m suppose to be doing and what I love to do. I just want to enjoy it like I used to. I am one of those people guilty of trying to find a quick cure because for the longest time I did not even know what it was that I was experiencing and once I finally knew and realized that it’s an actual condition with a name and that I’m not some alien roaming the earth alone feeling this way, it is comforting, but also made me feel the need to find an immediate cure. I’ve been on google almost everyday since and finally found your blog! You are a God send! I cannot thank you enough for this blog. You have truly given me the tools to overcome this and the faith of knowing that I will heal in time and that I just need to get out of my own way with the constant worrysome thoughts. I believe that once I come through the other side of this, I will be a stronger, happier and more determined person!!! I look forward to seeing you on the other side of this! Thank you so much for the knowledge, hope and faith that I now have!

  138. Charelle 7th May 2015 at 9:48 am - Reply

    Hi there. Im suffering of dp for almost 3 weeks now.. I went to my doctor and he gave me anxiety tablets because I had a few panic attacks too.. I took the tablet for two nights only and it actually made the condition worse.. I also tried getting answers and all. I feel abit abit better like I’m recovering because for the past two day I stopped worrying about the feeling.. Today I felt abit miserable with the feeling and I thought I need to see a psychologist for medication.. But then I realized you Dont need medication for this.. You should just stop stressing about this feeling and live your life as normal.. Believe..

  139. Stacy 8th May 2015 at 12:55 pm - Reply

    Hi charelle I know exactly how you feel, I have really bad do at the moment and feel like I can’t connect with anyone. Do you have horrible thoughts too? X

  140. Beth 30th June 2015 at 3:17 pm - Reply

    Hi I’m not sure anyone will see this but I think I’m suffering really bad from depersonalisation at the moment? I have had anxiety for a few years now and I think it all started when my dad got ill with terminal brain cancer? I had really bad anxiety for a bit and then it cleared for a bit then came back again? Unfortunately I lost my dad around 4 months ago when he passed away. I pushed myself just like Paul’s book told me to and this meant I could be with him when he most needed me! I felt like I have been dealing with it all really well with the odd time when I get anxious or get symptoms but I do as Paul says and I jut let them be. Just over a month ago I got really bad dizziness and headaches and I panicked so much I literally thought I had a brain tumour! It was so bad but once I told my self to stop being stupid and got on it did actually go and I started feeling well again. But I was still worries about it Colin back. I went out a few days and I sometimes didn’t eat anything nearly all day and I started feeling ill and my vision started going weird like fuzzy and dotty? I also started feeling weird and detached and out of it? I was worried about this vision thing and ten my headaches came back and I’ve just been feeling Really down and frustrated about them because I hate feeling weird and not good! I had my eyes checked just over a month ago too. But I’ve still got this headache and my vision feels weird and I feel really out of it and weird? Could this be depersonalisation. I’ve been constantly worried I have something wrong with me! I know I shouldn’t Google but I try to make myself feel better. But I started worrying that I had a brain tumour, stroke, bleed on the brain, Lyme disease, just something really bad! Could all this cause my headaches and depersonalisation? I really need help I hate feeling like this and I start college soon 🙁 any help would be really appreciated!?

  141. Priya 24th February 2016 at 2:51 pm - Reply

    Thanks for such a nice post on dp. 5 months back was were it all started. I was hospitalised due to worst diarreah of my life. The night I came back my heart started palpitating and the things got worse, within next 15 days I felt really destracted from all I could see I kinda thought my brain was not taking the visual signals at all. I use to worry all day long and fought with thoughts like I am getting mad slowly and living in a nutshell.

    But things changed since as I realised the cause. Now I meditate and exercise too and also take multi vitamins. This is a real change in my life since now I know more questions about this earth and world and how things work.

    And also I would say earlier while I use to think about universe it seemed like a domed shell but believe me meditation is very good mostly the guided one since they use your imagination.

    Things gets bad sometimes but I know how to pull me back to normal now.

  142. Bill 9th January 2017 at 9:42 pm - Reply

    Thank you so much! I’ve read your book and your blog. I know this is the answer! The thing is, I just don’t know how to stop caring, how to stop caring if I recover. I’ve cared for so long (1 year and a half, to be exact). I’ve done everything in my power to try to “figure it out” and “get well.” The only time I have glimpses is when I am busy and completely involved in something I enjoy, to the point of not thinking about my DP. The problem is, I can’t fill up every bit of my day to the point where I’m completely distracted, so I know I need to “not care about DP anymore.” The problem is I can’t seem to let go. Even when I feel like I’ve accepted it and can forget it, I still have compulsive thoughts that will not cease. What is the best way to deal with those? How do you get rid of compulsive thoughts?

  143. Sharni 19th January 2017 at 7:41 pm - Reply

    I am so pleased I have come across this post as this is most definately the most positive post I have read regarding DP, even if seemingly very difficult to manage the thought of just “not caring”.
    I have suffered with DP for the last 8 months or so with it getting progressively worse in the first few months until I felt I had abolsuly no choice and that I had gone so mad that I eventually gave in and went on medication as a last resort. Now 4 months in to taking Sertraline (although the DP did not completely go) it was certainly a lot more manageable. I had started to feel much more positive and decided to come off of the medication slowly, I’m now 4 days into no meds at all and wow has the withdrawal and DP hit me like a ton of bricks again, if not worse this time!
    Now I know that everyones experience with DP is different but I just wanted to find out if anyone can relate to my experience as now I am panicking that these feelings are so abnormal and there could potentially be something else wrong? I won’t drone on but I can describe my symptoms as follows:

    – feeling in a complete dream state where nothing seems real (even my family and friends sometimes don’t seem real)
    – Feeling in a complete foggy haze
    – Feeling as though I am not in my own body, I am aware I am talking/doing things but it’s almost as if it is someone else doing them
    – My own voice seems very distant to me
    – No awareness of time (things I done this morning, by the end of the day feel like they were done days or even weeks ago)
    – My memory is so bad I can move something and completely not remember doing it (admittedly driving my partner crazy)
    – Having bouts of sheer dread and uncontrollable crying at the horrendous thoughts I’m having
    – Feeling nervous/scared
    – Up and down mood, one moment I’ll be kind of content and the next I just turn and become so agitated shouting or snapping at those around me
    – I feel as though I cannot connect to reality and get to the real me again, almost like I have been placed in this awful unreal bubble and I just cannot get out of it
    – Feeling as though I am living life behind this awful Payne of glass that I just want to smash and be free and back to reality/normality

    PLEASE tell me someone feels what I’m feeling and I’m not mentally insane?
    This is all so so upsetting/frustrating for me as I feel I’m letting everyone down and missing out on the most important years of my little girls life due to this horrible illness of the mind!!

    Any advice would be so very appreciated

    Sharni x

  144. Angela 1st May 2017 at 8:56 pm - Reply

    A friend of mine gave me this book ‘a life at last’ when I told her of the problems I was having with anxiety and panic attacks. I recently left my home to work overseas. I left my job of 12 years, my family, my friends and moved to the other side of the world to live a dream or so I thought. The dream turned into a nightmare and within the fist few days of being there I started to experience panic attacks, anxiety, emotional breakdowns, insomnia and no appetite. I fought this for over 1 week to convince myself I could do this and it would pass. Then came the DP. Unfortunately to save my declining mental health I returned home and the dream was over. Maybe if I had read this book sooner I would have had better understanding of what was happening to my mind and body. So I am home now and the anxiety continues, however not to the extent as when I was away. The panic attacks have ceased and my appetite has returned. I do continue to suffer with insomnia but that I know will return soon. The only main problem at the moment is DP. But now I understand exactly what it is and why I feel this way it’s okay. I’m okay with it. I continue to try and live my life as normal as possible and keep myself busy. This book for me has been the best thing ever and without it I know I would continue to panic and trying to fight the feeling I have. Instead I accept them and let them go. Thank you so so much. I’m eternally grateful. Xmx

  145. Angela 1st May 2017 at 9:09 pm - Reply

    Hi sharni,
    In response to your post I would like to just give you advice.
    I understand you not wanting to be on medication. There is still a lot of stigma attached to medicating mental health conditions. But these medicines are designed to help. If you were diabetic or epeleptic and the doctor prescribed medications to prevent illness then we would take them with no question.

    I’m not saying anti depressants are the answer, but unfortunately some people like myself do lack in serotonin or have a chemical imbalance in the brain which requires medication in order to function properly. I have been on a maintenance dose of Ssri Citalopram for 18 years now. I have achieved so many things and have a fabulous career. Following my traumatic experience described in the above post I have now increased them to 40mgs. I have suffered with anxiety and depression since childhood and for me they have been a life saver. I have accepted that I need this medication and probably always will. But that’s fine. As long as I can get up in the morning and feel well and live my life to the full then 1 little tablet in the morning is not a concern.

    I would most certainly take my insulin if I was diabetic. Don’t get me wrong they aren’t a miracle cure and I do still have bad days but it certainly helps produce the seretonin that I obviously don’t have.
    So I would advice to go to your GP and start your meds again, also read the book ‘a life at last’ by paul. It truly is a life changer and I will be telling others about it too. Lots of love to you and let me know how you get on. Don’t try and be tough and fight it. Accept some help even in the form of medication and Pauls book. God bless you sharni. X X x

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