Running away from anxiety

Hi all, Well todays post will be a little shorter than normal, but will cover an important point.

A lot of people complain, especially when waking, that they feel very self-aware, that they seem to be wired into how they feel. They don’t know if to try and push these feelings away and ignore them or go over them and try to control them in some way, using sayings or actions.

I also used to get confused in the early days and would almost try and talk myself out of how I felt when waking, as though I had to piece the jigsaw together. I would start with a few sayings like ‘It’s o.k to feel this way’, ‘It’s just a habit, your mind is tired’ or think ‘OK get up, get busy, ignore how you feel’ and so I would run around all day trying to force forgetfulness, but these 2 approaches never worked, even though I thought ‘surely I was doing the right things here’. But as usual, if it did not help, then I surely was not.

So I would continue to be very self-aware, feel unreal, nauseous on waking and throughout my day, why? Then it hit me, I was ruminating over how I felt, trying to make it better, mentally tiring myself further, I was cluttering my already cluttered mind up. Also by running away, I was tensing myself against how I felt, I must not think about these feelings, get busy, this was mentally and physically tiring in itself.

What I had to do is say ‘So what if I wake conscious of the lump in my throat, the self-awareness, the feelings of unreality, it is OK to be conscious of it’ I did not have to run around trying to push it into the background or try and talk it better, going through different sayings to ease it, to sort it out before getting on with my day. This was only tiring me out further and saying it was important NOT to feel this way. It was not important NOT to feel this way, in fact, it was fine. I was allowed to feel self-aware, I was allowed to feel nauseous on waking, feel odd and unreal. Everything I did before said it was not, my old attitude was, ‘I have to change this, I have to wake clearly, I must suppress these feelings, ignore them. This was all wrong, no wonder I was feeling more mentally tired and cluttered than ever, once again it was all about allowing. This new attitude helped me so much and was a major factor in moving me forward and made the day a lot easier.

I have done the post on when people wake, as this used to be my problem at times. I used to almost expect to wake feeling self-aware, nauseous, unreal. I spent so much time trying to fix it until I realised it was fine to wake up feeling this way, expect it if you wish, but be fine with it, lock stock and barrel.

I did this short post, as it has come up a few times recently. So for those who it is relevant, I hope this helps.

Just to let people know I won’t be around as much in a months time as I am doing some voluntary work away from home in the summer. I will leave some posts that Candie will place up each month, so the blog will not be affected.

Paul

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