Archive for March, 2010

Running away from anxiety symptoms and feelings

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

Hi all, Well todays post will be a little shorter than normal, but will cover an important point.

A lot of people complain, especially when waking that they feel very self aware, that they seem to be wired in to how they feel. They don’t know if to try and push these feelings away and ignore them or go over them and try to control them in some way, using sayings or actions.

I also used to get confused in the early days and would almost try and talk myself out of how I felt when waking , as though I had to piece the jigsaw together. I would start with a few sayings like ‘It’s o.k to feel this way’ , ‘It’s just a habit, your mind is tired’ or think ‘o.k get up, get busy, ignore how you feel’  and so I would run around all day trying to force forgetfulness, but these 2 approaches never worked, surely I was doing the right things here. But as usual if it did not help, then I surely was not. 

So I would continue to be very self aware, feel unreal, nauseas on waking and throughout my day, why? Then it hit me, I was ruminating over how I felt, trying to make it better, mentally tiring myself further, I was cluttering my already cluttered mind up. Also by running away, I was tensing myself against how I felt, I must not think about these feelings, get busy, this was mentally and physically tiring in itself.

What I had to do is say ‘So what if  you wake conscious of the lump in my throat, the self awareness, the feelings of unreality, it is o.k to be conscious of it’ I did not have to run around trying to push it into the background or try and talk it better, going through different sayings to ease it, to sort it out before getting on with my day. This was only tiring me out further and saying it was important NOT to feel this way. It was not important NOT to feel this way, in fact it was fine. I was allowed to feel self aware, I was allowed to feel nauseas on waking, feel odd and unreal. Everything I did before said it was not, my old attitude was, ‘I have to change this, I have to wake clearly, I must surppress these feelings, ignore them. This was all wrong, no wonder I was feeling more tired and cluttered than ever, once again it was all about allowing. This new attitude helped me so much and was a major factor in moving me forward and made the day a lot easier.

I have done the post on when people wake as this used to be my problem at times. I used to almost expect to wake feeling self aware, nauseas, unreal. I spent so much time trying to fix it, until I realised it was fine to wake feeling this way, expect it if you wish, but be fine with it, lock stock and barrel.

I did this short post as it has come up a few times recently. So for those who it is relevant I hope this helps. 

Just to let people know I wont be around as much in a months time as I am doing some voluntry work away from home in the summer. I will leave some posts that Candie will place up each month, so the blog will not be affected.

The main site will be run by my mother until I get back, although I will have some internet access in case of any problems. So nothing will be affected, it just means I wont be able to reply on here for a while. If you need anything Candie will be running things until I get back, which should be around 2/3 months. I will do one last post before I go though sometime next month.


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