Comments on: Help with anxiety in social situations http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2009/08/19/63/ Anxiety no more Helping sufferers overcome anxiety and panic issues Fri, 10 Sep 2010 23:30:54 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Lotty http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2009/08/19/63/#comment-6676 Lotty Tue, 13 Oct 2009 09:23:15 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=63#comment-6676 Hi Carol R, I've had that anxiety thought about being bipolar many, many times. Don't worry, just another one of those irrational fears. And a very common one too, I remember blogging to someone else about it just a few weeks ago. I remember Paul saying in one of his blogs "enjoy the good days, forget about the bad", and I have really taken those words with me. There's nothing wrong with being proud of yourself, what we are doing is one of the hardest things a person will ever have to do. It took me a while to allow myself to enjoy the good days, it doesn't come naturally at first; you kind of think that if you let yourself get carried away with feeling good, somehow it will make the bad times feel worse. Is that how you feel? xx Nina, don't worry, anxiety has you up and down like a rollercoaster. And yes, with time and acceptance, it fades away. Let it do what it likes, it can't hurt you. You just have to become accustomed to it, then indifferent to it, and it loses its power. But this takes time. xx Hi Carol R,
I’ve had that anxiety thought about being bipolar many, many times. Don’t worry, just another one of those irrational fears. And a very common one too, I remember blogging to someone else about it just a few weeks ago. I remember Paul saying in one of his blogs “enjoy the good days, forget about the bad”, and I have really taken those words with me. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of yourself, what we are doing is one of the hardest things a person will ever have to do. It took me a while to allow myself to enjoy the good days, it doesn’t come naturally at first; you kind of think that if you let yourself get carried away with feeling good, somehow it will make the bad times feel worse. Is that how you feel? xx
Nina, don’t worry, anxiety has you up and down like a rollercoaster. And yes, with time and acceptance, it fades away. Let it do what it likes, it can’t hurt you. You just have to become accustomed to it, then indifferent to it, and it loses its power. But this takes time. xx

]]> By: Paul David http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2009/08/19/63/#comment-6589 Paul David Fri, 02 Oct 2009 10:50:53 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=63#comment-6589 Nikki you seem to be putting every waking moment into getting rid of anxiety, every waking moment in trying to figure it all out. You are as always wanting to control or rid your self of it. Now as this is a habit you seem entrenched in it, watching yourself, wondering why you cannot just feel normal, buried underneath symtoms. This is exatly what happened to me and you have to really try and listen and take in the message as it has been mentioned many times that this is not the way forward. You are in the 'That does not work. ill try this' , 'That did not work what if I do this' 'O.k maybe this will make me feel better' , 'Why do i feel like this' 'Why did I feel like that earlier, am I doing something wrong?' then nothing works so you go round and round in circles looking for another answer. As you are now so entrenched in worrying and trying to control how you feel, it just feels part of you, one where you wish you could walk out of. Unfortunatly it is a proces and you have to give yourself this chance and not keep looking for ways to control or rid yourself of how you are feeling. This is the very reason you can't seem to escape. You must say o.k this is me and no matter how silly my thoughts seem, no matter how lost and detached I feel, no matter how anxious I get at times, this is me for the time being. You have to live alongside the old you before the new you can surface. You have to basically realise that you will feel awful at times, anxious, detached, but live alongside these symptoms without being to impressed by them. Yes they maybe annoying at times, but your body is crying out for a break, crying out for you to let something else into its day other than anxiety. So forget the ins and outs, the 'why do I feel this way?', the 'What if I try this?' Just throw it all away and start again. Drag your tired miind and body around and begin to live again. Try not to be tempted to run back here looking for reassurance, moving forward relys on you to put into use what people advise. I always say I can tell people what to do, but I can't make them do it. If someone is impatient and wants instant success, they wont get it, but I can't stop them trying. Many, many people that have come here are now fully recovered and they send me emails letting me know how great they are doing, but also hardly mentioning the word anxiety, they have left it behind and it is no longer the main focus of their day, they are now busy living again and are more telling me about their new job, the family. I was once stuck in the mode you are in after feeling great for a while, I could not understand why I was falling back until I asked myself. 'Am I still trying to control and rid myself of the way I feel?' The answer was yes, I had slipped back into doing this, questioning it all again. So I went back to what I knew and just lived alongside it and paid it little respect and in time other things came into my day, I started focusing on other things naturally, it is something you cannot force, it just comes in layers. Without the trying to do something about it each day, my mind began to feel more and more clear, again it came in time, you cannot rush things. You say 'I know the way back, but I can't seem to get there' the answer is you have not yet given yourself a chance to do so. Hope that helps Paul Nikki you seem to be putting every waking moment into getting rid of anxiety, every waking moment in trying to figure it all out. You are as always wanting to control or rid your self of it. Now as this is a habit you seem entrenched in it, watching yourself, wondering why you cannot just feel normal, buried underneath symtoms. This is exatly what happened to me and you have to really try and listen and take in the message as it has been mentioned many times that this is not the way forward. You are in the ‘That does not work. ill try this’ , ‘That did not work what if I do this’ ‘O.k maybe this will make me feel better’ , ‘Why do i feel like this’ ‘Why did I feel like that earlier, am I doing something wrong?’ then nothing works so you go round and round in circles looking for another answer.

As you are now so entrenched in worrying and trying to control how you feel, it just feels part of you, one where you wish you could walk out of. Unfortunatly it is a proces and you have to give yourself this chance and not keep looking for ways to control or rid yourself of how you are feeling. This is the very reason you can’t seem to escape.

You must say o.k this is me and no matter how silly my thoughts seem, no matter how lost and detached I feel, no matter how anxious I get at times, this is me for the time being. You have to live alongside the old you before the new you can surface. You have to basically realise that you will feel awful at times, anxious, detached, but live alongside these symptoms without being to impressed by them. Yes they maybe annoying at times, but your body is crying out for a break, crying out for you to let something else into its day other than anxiety.

So forget the ins and outs, the ‘why do I feel this way?’, the ‘What if I try this?’ Just throw it all away and start again. Drag your tired miind and body around and begin to live again. Try not to be tempted to run back here looking for reassurance, moving forward relys on you to put into use what people advise. I always say I can tell people what to do, but I can’t make them do it. If someone is impatient and wants instant success, they wont get it, but I can’t stop them trying.

Many, many people that have come here are now fully recovered and they send me emails letting me know how great they are doing, but also hardly mentioning the word anxiety, they have left it behind and it is no longer the main focus of their day, they are now busy living again and are more telling me about their new job, the family.

I was once stuck in the mode you are in after feeling great for a while, I could not understand why I was falling back until I asked myself. ‘Am I still trying to control and rid myself of the way I feel?’ The answer was yes, I had slipped back into doing this, questioning it all again. So I went back to what I knew and just lived alongside it and paid it little respect and in time other things came into my day, I started focusing on other things naturally, it is something you cannot force, it just comes in layers. Without the trying to do something about it each day, my mind began to feel more and more clear, again it came in time, you cannot rush things.

You say ‘I know the way back, but I can’t seem to get there’ the answer is you have not yet given yourself a chance to do so.

Hope that helps

Paul

]]> By: nikki http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2009/08/19/63/#comment-6576 nikki Thu, 01 Oct 2009 13:34:38 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=63#comment-6576 Hi not feeling very positive today.I have entered a new phase,I feel constantly tired as if i have just woken up all day my eyes are stinging and im really tired.I can feel my pulse in my chest and the unease of nerves.It doesnt bother me in the sense that i am trying to make it better or go away but i am aware of it.I have had a headache and feelings of strain in my shoulders chest and arms now for four days and i feel physically worn out.My mom said its the nervousness passing from the emotion to the physical???anyhow im sooooooo tired any advice????? Hi not feeling very positive today.I have entered a new phase,I feel constantly tired as if i have just woken up all day my eyes are stinging and im really tired.I can feel my pulse in my chest and the unease of nerves.It doesnt bother me in the sense that i am trying to make it better or go away but i am aware of it.I have had a headache and feelings of strain in my shoulders chest and arms now for four days and i feel physically worn out.My mom said its the nervousness passing from the emotion to the physical???anyhow im sooooooo tired any advice?????

]]> By: Matthew http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2009/08/19/63/#comment-6575 Matthew Thu, 01 Oct 2009 13:13:43 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=63#comment-6575 For me the journey to recovey has been a very gradual process. I've had some terrible days but some good days along the way. I'm still not recovered but I pretty much lead the life I want to live as I now have the confidence to do the job I always wanted to do. (teaching). I have developed much more meaningful relationships with people too. I've come so far from where I was that I feel so grateful for life. That is depite still having some tough days now. Anxiety is more of a nuisance for me these days as opposed to this very fightening thing it once was. The beauty of the way to recover is that you really don't have to do anything: by that I mean it is a do nothing method. you just accept and allow the thoughts and feelings to be there. That and just not avoiding things and people have helped me so much. I really can't see any other way that you can recover and build such an inner confidence than the way that Paul describes. For me the journey to recovey has been a very gradual process. I’ve had some terrible days but some good days along the way. I’m still not recovered but I pretty much lead the life I want to live as I now have the confidence to do the job I always wanted to do. (teaching). I have developed much more meaningful relationships with people too. I’ve come so far from where I was that I feel so grateful for life. That is depite still having some tough days now. Anxiety is more of a nuisance for me these days as opposed to this very fightening thing it once was. The beauty of the way to recover is that you really don’t have to do anything: by that I mean it is a do nothing method. you just accept and allow the thoughts and feelings to be there. That and just not avoiding things and people have helped me so much. I really can’t see any other way that you can recover and build such an inner confidence than the way that Paul describes.

]]> By: Nina http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2009/08/19/63/#comment-6574 Nina Thu, 01 Oct 2009 06:34:48 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=63#comment-6574 Hi Kristy, wow your story is really an inspiration. Thank you so much for sharing that with me (and everybody else on this site). Ive been dealing with this for a month and everyday it gets a a little better. the throat tighning is gone ( it did stick around for a week or two) I have derealization (sometimes its so hard cause i feel detach from everything around me, almost like i cant connect to whats around me and some people) imagine having all of this and having all those thoughts. I dont want to take medication (scared of the side affect). Im soo happy to hear that your doing better, im really happy for you kristy. the internet is horrible because it can ease your worries but also terrifies you (thats why i only go to one other site besides this one) im going to check that book out. Also my anxiety was cause by weed and my main worry is that ill never get back to the old me. Im still me its just soo many feelings that i have. Do keep in contact Kristy and god bless you. Hi Kristy,

wow your story is really an inspiration. Thank you so much for sharing that with me (and everybody else on this site). Ive been dealing with this for a month and everyday it gets a a little better. the throat tighning is gone ( it did stick around for a week or two) I have derealization (sometimes its so hard cause i feel detach from everything around me, almost like i cant connect to whats around me and some people) imagine having all of this and having all those thoughts. I dont want to take medication (scared of the side affect). Im soo happy to hear that your doing better, im really happy for you kristy. the internet is horrible because it can ease your worries but also terrifies you (thats why i only go to one other site besides this one) im going to check that book out. Also my anxiety was cause by weed and my main worry is that ill never get back to the old me. Im still me its just soo many feelings that i have.

Do keep in contact Kristy and god bless you.

]]> By: Nina http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2009/08/19/63/#comment-6573 Nina Thu, 01 Oct 2009 06:17:24 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=63#comment-6573 Hey Matthew, Thanks for answering my question :-) well the doctor mention something about Exposure therapy. Its a type of cognitive behavior therapy. I smoke weed one night (not a weed smoker) and thats when all hell broke loose (this was exactly a month ago). i got a panic attack and developed DP and DR. The DP is gone but eveything around me feels weird. Im 20 by the way so imagine all of this plus schoolm It gets hard. i found out i have anxiety cause my twin suffer from seperation anxiety. Also im not thinking about taking any medication at all (the side affects scare the hell out of me). Also i havent had symptoms in the last 3 or 4 days. The only thing i have is trouble falling asleep and the Derealization. Reading this blog and the website was a big salvation i have to say. i put things to practice and i believe this has help me tremendously how are u feeling now? I hope your anxiety is better by now. let me know how everything is going Hey Matthew,

Thanks for answering my question :-)
well the doctor mention something about Exposure therapy. Its a type of cognitive behavior therapy. I smoke weed one night (not a weed smoker) and thats when all hell broke loose (this was exactly a month ago). i got a panic attack and developed DP and DR. The DP is gone but eveything around me feels weird. Im 20 by the way so imagine all of this plus schoolm It gets hard. i found out i have anxiety cause my twin suffer from seperation anxiety. Also im not thinking about taking any medication at all (the side affects scare the hell out of me). Also i havent had symptoms in the last 3 or 4 days. The only thing i have is trouble falling asleep and the Derealization. Reading this blog and the website was a big salvation i have to say. i put things to practice and i believe this has help me tremendously

how are u feeling now? I hope your anxiety is better by now. let me know how everything is going

]]> By: Kristy http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2009/08/19/63/#comment-6572 Kristy Thu, 01 Oct 2009 06:00:42 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=63#comment-6572 Nina-- Hey, I come on every once in awhile and just caught your posts--and they reminded me very much of how i felt this past spring. I'm 31 & have always thought of myself as a bit anxious & always "doing" things--keeping myself very busy was part of who I was. I had several stressful events hit me around the same time--stuff which on their own would've been fine, but together seem to set off this kind of anxiety which I've never felt before. With me, it was the throat tightening, a feeling of being very tired, endless thoughts racing through my head, not being able to sleep, no appetite, dizziness and DP when it was at its worst. This lasted for a total of 2 weeks--finally the 3rd doctor I saw (the others said allergies) said anxiety, he gave me some xanax & send me on my way. I was always against medication--but I was so desperate to feel better that I took one right away & almost immediately felt at ease and calm. While I wouldn't recommend medication, it did help me realize that I was not suffering from some horrible physical ailment--that it WAS in fact something I was making worse by focusing on it 24/7. I continued taking half a pill at night to help me sleep for a couple of weeks--but the best thing I did was find this site & also start opening up to others in my life about what I was going through. I'm normally a very private person, so this was hard--but it was actually a great relief--to not have to seem so perfect all the time. I forced myself to go to work. I would wake up early and meditate in the morning and drink tea--anything that would possibly make me feel like I could make it through the day. I teach, so while I was teaching--some moments felt unreal, but some moments I was engaged in my teaching. I certainly didn't feel the joy that I usually felt from it, though--same with exercising, etc--even when I could get through something, it didn't feel like it used to. So I had thoughts like you did "was i ever going to be me again?" & the answer is yes! I improved drastically within the month, but had a setback several weeks later--didn't know about setbacks being common--so started freaking out about it, and increasing my anxiety. I bought a book called "The Worry Cure" which was very helpful--and after this setback, I've felt healthy for the past 4 months. I still feel funny around PMS time, but this month didn't get those feelings--which was a nice surprise. The throat tightness lingered for a LONG time--but that has gone away, too. By reading this site, it sounds like it's different from everyone--I DID make lifestlye changes: almost completely cut out caffeine, which was very helpful, lightened my workload...and in general, make more time for friends. I also stopped looking up things online so much. The Worry Cure says that we often hide in our worries--and I believe that. So it's always a work in progress, but I'm hopeful that in another couple of months, you won't even remember to look at this site and check in! It was SO helpful to me, though, I feel the need to come back and say that it is possible to recover! Nina–
Hey, I come on every once in awhile and just caught your posts–and they reminded me very much of how i felt this past spring. I’m 31 & have always thought of myself as a bit anxious & always “doing” things–keeping myself very busy was part of who I was.

I had several stressful events hit me around the same time–stuff which on their own would’ve been fine, but together seem to set off this kind of anxiety which I’ve never felt before. With me, it was the throat tightening, a feeling of being very tired, endless thoughts racing through my head, not being able to sleep, no appetite, dizziness and DP when it was at its worst. This lasted for a total of 2 weeks–finally the 3rd doctor I saw (the others said allergies) said anxiety, he gave me some xanax & send me on my way. I was always against medication–but I was so desperate to feel better that I took one right away & almost immediately felt at ease and calm.

While I wouldn’t recommend medication, it did help me realize that I was not suffering from some horrible physical ailment–that it WAS in fact something I was making worse by focusing on it 24/7. I continued taking half a pill at night to help me sleep for a couple of weeks–but the best thing I did was find this site & also start opening up to others in my life about what I was going through. I’m normally a very private person, so this was hard–but it was actually a great relief–to not have to seem so perfect all the time. I forced myself to go to work. I would wake up early and meditate in the morning and drink tea–anything that would possibly make me feel like I could make it through the day.

I teach, so while I was teaching–some moments felt unreal, but some moments I was engaged in my teaching. I certainly didn’t feel the joy that I usually felt from it, though–same with exercising, etc–even when I could get through something, it didn’t feel like it used to.

So I had thoughts like you did “was i ever going to be me again?” & the answer is yes! I improved drastically within the month, but had a setback several weeks later–didn’t know about setbacks being common–so started freaking out about it, and increasing my anxiety. I bought a book called “The Worry Cure” which was very helpful–and after this setback, I’ve felt healthy for the past 4 months. I still feel funny around PMS time, but this month didn’t get those feelings–which was a nice surprise. The throat tightness lingered for a LONG time–but that has gone away, too.

By reading this site, it sounds like it’s different from everyone–I DID make lifestlye changes: almost completely cut out caffeine, which was very helpful, lightened my workload…and in general, make more time for friends. I also stopped looking up things online so much. The Worry Cure says that we often hide in our worries–and I believe that. So it’s always a work in progress, but I’m hopeful that in another couple of months, you won’t even remember to look at this site and check in! It was SO helpful to me, though, I feel the need to come back and say that it is possible to recover!

]]> By: Matthew http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2009/08/19/63/#comment-6571 Matthew Thu, 01 Oct 2009 00:53:08 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=63#comment-6571 Hi Nina, "Hey Eveyone, well i receive a call from a doctor yesterday and he recommended me to take therapy so i could learn techniques to help me overcome my anxiety." It will be interesting just what techniques he recommends. I don't want to sound skeptical but the Psychiatrists I dealt with didn't really know what they were talking about when it came to anxiety. Their work tends to be based on theory only. They can't give you real answers I believe in terms of how to recover. Medication whilst often effective in the short term will not cure you. I hope your Doctor is referring to a method like Paul's when he talks about recovering from anxiety. In terms of suffering, I suffered for I'd say close to 4 years before I got so bad that I actually did something about it. I always thought I could somehow fight my way out of it. I do think that if you have only suffered a short time then you can recover fairly quickly because you don't have a long memory of suffering. But in any case, so long as you get on the right track (Paul's method) despite how long you've suffered you will begin to see progress. Be patient and allow recovery to come to you. Hi Nina,

“Hey Eveyone,
well i receive a call from a doctor yesterday and he recommended me to take therapy so i could learn techniques to help me overcome my anxiety.”
It will be interesting just what techniques he recommends. I don’t want to sound skeptical but the Psychiatrists I dealt with didn’t really know what they were talking about when it came to anxiety. Their work tends to be based on theory only. They can’t give you real answers I believe in terms of how to recover. Medication whilst often effective in the short term will not cure you. I hope your Doctor is referring to a method like Paul’s when he talks about recovering from anxiety.

In terms of suffering, I suffered for I’d say close to 4 years before I got so bad that I actually did something about it. I always thought I could somehow fight my way out of it. I do think that if you have only suffered a short time then you can recover fairly quickly because you don’t have a long memory of suffering. But in any case, so long as you get on the right track (Paul’s method) despite how long you’ve suffered you will begin to see progress. Be patient and allow recovery to come to you.

]]> By: Nina http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2009/08/19/63/#comment-6570 Nina Wed, 30 Sep 2009 23:17:27 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=63#comment-6570 Hey Eveyone, well i receive a call from a doctor yesterday and he recommended me to take therapy so i could learn techniques to help me overcome my anxiety. he gave me hopes and he did say that anxiety is curable :-) im going to go see a psychiatrist soon cause i do want to be diagnosed. ive been dealing with these feelings for a month now and i do hope to overcome this with help. i havent had my throat tightning in 2 days :-) however, ive been having trouble falling asleep for 4 or 5 days now (its like im afraid of falling asleep and if i wake up its hard for me to fall back to sleep) i hope you are all doing well and i wish everybody the best :-) To LOTTY and/or ANYBODY: When u started suffering from a anxiety,how long did you sufferr from it before you knew what u had?? Also, does early diagnose and treatment means this goes away quicker? Hey Eveyone,
well i receive a call from a doctor yesterday and he recommended me to take therapy so i could learn techniques to help me overcome my anxiety. he gave me hopes and he did say that anxiety is curable :-) im going to go see a psychiatrist soon cause i do want to be diagnosed. ive been dealing with these feelings for a month now and i do hope to overcome this with help. i havent had my throat tightning in 2 days :-) however, ive been having trouble falling asleep for 4 or 5 days now (its like im afraid of falling asleep and if i wake up its hard for me to fall back to sleep)

i hope you are all doing well and i wish everybody the best :-)

To LOTTY and/or ANYBODY: When u started suffering from a anxiety,how long did you sufferr from it before you knew what u had??
Also, does early diagnose and treatment means this goes away quicker?

]]> By: nikki http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2009/08/19/63/#comment-6569 nikki Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:47:40 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=63#comment-6569 Hi katie no problem speak soon x Hi katie no problem speak soon x

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