Archive for November, 2008

Taking a break from anxiety

Wednesday, November 26th, 2008

O.k I hope everyone enjoyed a bit of off topic in the last post, we did seem to go back on topic from time to time, but we shared some stories and some laughs and got to know more about each other. This was not just an off topic subject, it was also designed to give people a break and leads me to my next topic.

I know Scarlet has mentioned to others the need to take a break and I have mentioned it a lot in the past and in my book, but never have I put a post up about it, so I thought if I went into more detail it would make a good post and hopefully help people.

It is very important to take some time out from the subject of anxiety. Its great to finally find information that can help and very helpful to read it, but sometimes people can immerse themselves in the subject, google symptom after symptom, spend hours looking for the answers that will make it all go away. People who have been here a while know that last year I set up a forum and within a few weeks closed it down, not only did I take on too much, but I thought it was not helping people on here in the long run. I have never liked forums as they can become addictive and people spend far too time on them, telling people about their problems, helping others with theirs, reading about other peoples symptoms, day in day out and miss on out the vital time outs that we need. It is the same if someone is depressed and went on a forum hearing peoples storys of depression each day, it tends to just drags you down even furthur.

The mistake so many make is that they chase recovery and don’t let it come to them. In this I mean they will spend hours everyday looking up all their symptoms, spend hours looking for and chasing that elusive cure that will make a symptom go away instantly. I can’t tell you how much time I wasted trying to ‘rid’ myself of anxiety and not just live with anxiety there. I never considered just living and letting my body regain its balance, I fought with myself daily, I had to get rid of these feelings, why do I feel like this? , why am I not getting better? , will this ever go away? , what if I do this, will this help? , I never had a break from the subject, I made the mistake of trying to fight and think my way better, this was just like hitting a broken leg with a hammer, it would never recover.

It is also very important to put all symptoms under the umbrella of anxiety and don’t try to seperate and work on each one individually. Nothing saddens me more than people asking about advice here on a certain symptom and then asking about another the day after, then another symptom the week after. I just know they are going to go round in circles finding something else to worry about, something else to google. You don’t need to seperate each symptom, just see anxiety as one. Worrying about each symptom indivdually will create 20 different things to worry about, putting it all under the umbrella of anxiety, you can never have more than one.

There has been a lot of good advice recently about just living your life from people on here who have come through. I went from a person who did nothing but consume himself with how he felt, hide away from everything, spend my days feeling sorry for myself, to one who just said ‘Enoughs, enough’ the only way to feel normal again is to live as normal life as possible. Instead of feeling sorry for myself I would go for a swim, instead of worrying about how I felt I would get my bike out, instad of spending hours trying to figure a way out of this hell, I would take a walk, instead of hiding away I began to socialise again. Things were odd at first as I was changing a habit I had got into, but by living my life and not living it trying to rid myself of anxiety each day, I felt the old me returning, I began to feel more normal. My day had something else in it but immersing myself in how I felt, it had a break, something else to concentrate on.

I remember going for a swim when I was probably at my worst, full of anxiety and D.P. I wanted to just shut the world away and not go out, but I went. I arrived in the changing rooms and felt weird, but I got changed and into the pool. I was somewhere else half the time, my mind reverting back to me, but it was o.k, things would not change overnight. I finished my swim and got changed and again felt odd and a little anxious, but that was fine. When I arrived home I was happy that I did what I did and felt just a little better, nothing major but a little better. I went every week after that, not demanding or expecting anything and within a few weeks I felt almost normal at times, doing normal things was beinging to feel normal, when at first it was the other way around. I remember when I first felt I had recovered, I had an odd feeling of strangeness and that’s because feeling normal felt strange, like a prisoner first let out of jail, my body needed time to adjust to feeling normal. This is what I mean when I say it comes in layers. A lot of people don’t want to go through anxiety, they think yes, yes, this is all well and good, but I would rather have the quick route and find the answer to make it all go away today, so off they go on their merry way, googling again, going on numerous forums asking questions on how to get rid of this damn thing, they just end up going around in circles, chasing their own tail and getting nowhere.

Going back to forums, some are good, but there are many that are poorly moderated and people who are looking for help end up trying to help others and you end up with plenty of conflicting advice that helps nobody. Also as I say I think they can become addictive and people can end up spending too much time there and not just living their life.

A blog I feel is more helpful as one person is posting advice and then people answer questions and discuss things afterwards on that certain topic. There is no option too google away on here, your not having loads of conflicting advice and not being bombarded with information daily. I want people to come here and read what is relative to them and take away any advice, live their life and use the information given. I to have breaks where I don’t come on for a few days, I have just learnt the need to add plenty of things into my day and do some living, its not an anxiety thing, its just I spend so much time working on the computer, I need some healthy time out.

So to sum up, live your life however you feel, don’t let anxiety make decisions for you, go out and do things, doing so may seem weird at first, that’s o.k as we are changing a habit. But living a normal life is where normal feelings will come back, emotions, your bodys reactions. Do everything you would normally do if you did not have anxiety or D.P, this is the key. Its o.k to have anxiety, its o.k to have D.P, this needs to be your attitude and the opposite of spending your day trying to rid yourself of it.

I hope this helps and people can relate to it.

For more help and information on anxiety visit

www.anxietynomore.co.uk

For more information on my book ‘At last a life’ Visit

www.anxietynomore.co.uk/the_book.html

Off Topic Chat

Monday, November 3rd, 2008

Hi Everyone. Well there has been a lot of replys to the last post and many newcomers to the blog, so a welcome from me and I hope you find the blog helpful. Also thank you to Scarlet and Candie for some excellent posts. Its great to come back and see good advice that I totally agree with on my return from holiday and I am sure your posts have helped a lot of people. That also goes to anyone else who posts on here supporting and helping others, its greatly appreciated.

If people would like to carry on posting on the topic below then feel free, I just wanted to take a break from advice and have an off topic post. Having a break from the subject can also help. So here are a few things I would like to add.

Firstly my holiday was a disaster. It rained for 3 days solid and boy does it rain abroad. I went down with a cold for 3 days and the resort was far too quiet. I think from now on I will stick to the U.K : ) No it really was disappointing and I just wanted to get back to be honest. One funny incident was me being pulled on stage to do flamenco dancing and it was filmed. I am going to try and put it on youtube for anyone who wishes to see how not to dance : )

Secondly I did mention to a few people about raising money for an anxiety charity. They have always been good to me and I wanted to give something back. The site is www.anxietycare.org.uk They struggle for finance and need all the help they can get. So I have been in training for the last few weeks so as to do a 10k run just after christmas. I have yet to decide which run but it will be in the Yorkshire area. If anyone would like to get fit and maybe do the race, then just get in touch and I will give you more details. I will also post nearer the time when I do it and post some pics after the event.

Lastly I was sent this video of a lion that was brought up in London by two friends. The lion got too big and was taken out to the wild and set free. The two men who looked after him went to track him down and were warned the lion would not remember them, how wrong they were, you have to see the reunion, but get the kleenex ready. http://www.metacafe.com/watch/yt-B0G_ZuBGD-0/christian_the_lion_full_video_great_quality/

Please feel free to join in some off topic chat or comment on the above, maybe tell us a bit more about you and what you do, post a clip of something, anything at all.

Paul