Anxiety and Panic Recovery From a Member

Hi Everyone, Well I have just got back from a weekend away. I went to Chester and visited the zoo in the rain. Well I think I saw about 3 animals, there was just nothing there at all. They must have been hiding away or on strike but it was a very dissapointing day. i then went into Chester city centre looking to but some cords to go out in and not one shop stocked them, it was just jeans, jeans, jeans. Why do shops think all men want to wear is jeans! Well that’s what I have been up to recently. I am also nursing a bit of a hangover today, not like me to drink too much, but I do have those days and always understand the day after why I try to keep them to a minimum.

Well todays post is a comment that someone put up to an earlier post. I liked her comment and the way she put things and asked if I could maybe use it as a post with a few words of my own so that everyone got to read it, she was very happy to do this, so here it is.

I have just read Beths post from 7th May and have to say I totally agree with her. I started suffering from anxiety and panic attacks only about 3 months ago and reading up on the subject and this website have helped me more or less totally overcome them….

Because as Beth quite righlty said, all that we are doing is tuning into our over active imagination – which has probably always been there and popped various thoughts into our mind – but in the past we’ve always ignored them. It’s as if once you have suffered from anxiety you listen to every negative thought and then question why its there and why it won’t go away – when if we just ignore it, it actually does goes away.

I think what i’m trying to say to give some help and support to people (I want you all to know that whilst I have only suffered for what may seem a short period of time – it was the most fightening time of my life) is to try not to over analyse everything, question every thought, or worry what’s wrong with you. There is actually nothing wrong with any of us – we’re all human and naturally experience thoughts, feelings, moods…..just accept them and try not to question then as being weird – its normal.

Sometimes we spend too long thinking about these intagible feelings, instead of focusing on the external positive things in our life that will help us to ignore the ‘random’ negative emotions which will naturally pop up from time to time.

Maybe that’s why I managed to overcome my fears and feel back to normal?

I hope I haven’t come across as patronising or belittling anything anyone feels or us going through – believe me, I understand. It’s just reading some posts started to make me feel like I was helpling myself go back to the place I was in and I wanted to offer something positive which helped me and my battle.

Imogen xx

Well I thought Imogen put that very well there. I know there has been the odd post on people doing really well recently and others may think ‘When is it my turn?’ The only point I would like to make on that is that the less time you have suffered, the easier it is to come through. I had 10 years of suffering behind me and did not expect things to turn around overnight and it took a while for me to get to the point I am now. So no matter how long you feel you have suffered, just think how far you have come. This is the only thing you need to know you are on the right track. But don’t get impatient and as Imogen says start to question everything. Lets all the negatives go and focus on the positives. I always looked at it like this ‘Look how far I have come’ instead of ‘I want to be 100% better’ , ‘I now have good days instead of feeling bad all the time’ again instead of ‘Why do I still feel awful sometimes’.

Focus on the positives and take comfort in the fact that people are posting that have now recovered or come so far. Don’t look at is as a ‘Why not me’ Never let impatience be your jailer, I never even thought of recovery or demanded it, I was just happy that things were changing for the better.


96 Responses to “Anxiety and Panic Recovery From a Member”

  1. JoeyLowtown Says:

    Great post and Imogen is damn right. Had a mixed weekend myself, too much to drink etc. Went watching Bon Jovi in Manchester yesterday (2nd time I’ve seen them) they were absolutely fantastic, so that was good. Been having some odd thoughts again but nevermind. I always give my setbacks too much respect, but Im definately on the right track! I think I am a bad one for thinking life without anxiety would be stress free. However we all need to realise that there isnt one person alive without stress and problems! So sometimes just because something is getting you down or worked up, doesnt necessarily have to be anxiety related

  2. candie Says:

    Lots of people are coming on here lately who have recovered arnt they! 😀

    Hey Joey, havnt seen u on msn for a while!

    Me and Lisa was talking about all of us of here meeting up one time for a night out, so anyone interested?


  3. JoeyLowtown Says:

    Hey Candie,
    Been working late etc and had quite a bit to do. I’ve been on sometimes but you have not been on. I’ll catch you soon though. I’d be up for meeting people, always good!

  4. LORRYT Says:

    Hopefully it will be all of us one day.!

  5. candie Says:

    Hi Joey

    Good, thats 3 of us up for it so far!? Anyone else…..

    Don’t know where we would all meet though, probably somewhere thats in between where we all live?? I don’t know lol

    Anywhere that sells alcohol with decent music will do me 😀

  6. lisa Says:

    beth or imogen suffered for 6 months ,which is bad enough ,but i think the longer you suffer the harder it is to overcome. You do become impatient,fed up,analysing yourself it becomes a habit to. i know you do in time you just get fed up . I know its like having a broken leg as paul put it, but i think I would rather of broken me leg at times.this coming out of prison is harder than being in it ,sorry for the negative guys but its not often i post how i feel.hope everyone else ok :-)

  7. Beth Says:

    Lisa, I totally agree with you. I have suffered for longer than 6 months. Ironically enough, my husband broke his leg skiing last year during which time I suffered from anxiety, and he has fully recovered, I am still recovering. It is a long process. Last week I was great, this week…not so great. Very frustrating. I can’t get my thoughts back into the right minset. It’s like being on a balance beam and sometimes you just lose the edge and it takes awhile to regain your balance. When I’m tired and symptomatic, I find it hard to muster(?) up the patience. Does anyone else feel that there is a fine line between acceptance and forcing? I am a mother of 3 and sometimes I have to force myself to do things, there is just no other way.

  8. gerard Says:

    Hi everyone, I just bought Paul’s e-book and i read through it. I think I need some help, I just don’t know why i can’t accept my feelings naturally. I’m still going through this situation and I try not to do anything but i feel that there is something blocking my mind for me to feel myself naturally. If anyone could help, please reply me or add me on msn at this address : When I came into this site, I feel there is a hope of me getting myself back, and I just don’t know the way how to think and just accept. It’s hard, please help me as I want to have back my life..I really appricate it.. And paul if you are reading this, I really want to thank you for the book you have written, thank you for giving me hope, thank you for letting me know what is going on with me, thank you for everything. I just don’t know how to thank you enough. I will advertise your site and also help people who is going through this situation and follow your footsteps in helping people. Thank you once again Paul!!


  9. JR Says:

    i feel like that too and it’s so hard sometimes. I’m struggling bad at the moment.

  10. JoeyLowtown Says:

    Yes I force things definately, been having a setback myself this week as I mentioned above, the last 3 days have been very hard. Been experiencing loads of guilt for anything I’ve ever done wrong in my life. Find me a 23 year old lad who has never put a foot wrong? But ive been concentrating on stuff and its been depressin me. Chin is up though, anxiety is a farce ha. Life goes on anxiety or not, mine is now just a mere annoyance, whereas this time last year it consumed me! So that’s a positive for sure!

    It is true what Imogen said though, that now we just pay these thoughts and feelings so much attention when we used to just dismiss them easily. I dont think you have to try if you are accepting symptoms. Sometimes I try to accept them, but that shows that I’m respecting them. I am definately losing my respect for them and they are losing there severity. So there is hope

  11. Paul McG Says:

    Hey guys ! there is definately a fine line between acceptance and forcing , but I think its more to do with your attitude towards the anxiety and its associated , unpleasant feelings that defines that line ! fighting to accept , is forcing ! Accepting , in my definition is understanding you just need to allow these unpleasant feelings to be there regardless , which takes time , there can be no limit of time put on this period , it just has to be a new found attitude of faith , that no ammount of fighting will relieve the symptoms , its the allowing them to flow free in your day , every day , that will lead toward the road to recovery !
    Lisa , Its good to hear of peoples news of recovery , maybe initially for some ! but please dont get downhearted by it ! You are totally on the ball , regards the prolonged period some have suffered , and the time it may take them to , make any progress , let alone recover ! You can add me to the list of people in excess of 10 years with anxiety , so I can totally understand , why you feel like you do ! but nevertheless , we have all made progress that otherwise may not have been made , if we had not found the site and acted on the road we know , is the right one ! So with that lets just try to celebrate the fact we are all heading in the right direction , and not stuck in that black hole of desparation , with no mans of escape !!

  12. No More Anxiety Says:

    O.k sometimes you may think that I may get frustrated or confused that people struggle sometimes even when they have come so far. I don’t at all, I did the same, everything makes sense one day and the day after I lost it.

    Tarmo I feel has totally got my message and has come so far. He posted this and it is so, so true.

    When “trying to accept” becomes “accept”, even for a very short period, is when everything really starts to come together. It shouldn’t take any effort (because then it becomes trying) but it sure does take a lot of patience! Keep your heads up everyone, it’s all within reach!

    Its the effort people are still putting in. Lisa stated that things had become a habit, the questioning, the attention on oneself. Yes it may in people who have suffered a while, boy it did with me. So lets move on and say, let the attention be on you, let the habit be there. Trust me its the trying to change this that keeps people in the cycle. What people really mean is ‘Paul I can’t stop thinking like this or move my attention away from myself’ No don’t. that is vital. Yes the people who suffered a short time may have not built these habits. But for me and others these habits will pass as long as we don’t challange them or get frustrated by them. And as soon as someone complains about them, then they are doing the exact opposite.

    I really hope that makes sense as its very important. I knew that it had become a habit, so I did not fight it and allowed the habit to burn itself out, allowed the attention to be on me WITHOUT getting frustrated by it.

    I am trying to lead people slowly and not for one minute to people post something I cannot relate to. I can and so can many others, that’s why people say ‘I get that also’ or ‘I understand what you mean’ I do to and I will keep trying to tell people what they need to do or not to do at these times.

    I hope that helps and people can relate to it.


  13. lorryt Says:

    hi all

    it can be very frustrating, and although i am still struggling with the thoughts side of things i have managed to overcome a lot of the physical symptoms. it is true about feeding the fear. But i am coming to accept that my mind can have these ridiculous thoughts without me paying them any real respect as they are not really me and not how things are gonna be when i am fully recovered. I guess the acceptance is there for me to have come this far ?.
    Gerard as hard as it may seem now, you can get better, and although at times the road may get rocky, the smooth path is just underneath it.
    can anyone join up at the gathering ???
    have a good day all


  14. lorryt Says:

    just reading beths post, yes i have to force myself to do things everyday, as i have 2 kids and if i didnt do it it wouldnt get done, can completely relate to that point of view, but i tihnk it would be worse if we didnt ,as i feel my kids keep me going and take the focus off of how i feel .

  15. lisa Says:

    your right paul thats what i find hard, think thats my battle at the moment ,you see lorry i do get stuck sometimes lol..,its great to read your doing a lot better :-) beth my husband broke his elbow it took 9 weeks to recover,broken bones i would swap paul mc us oldies blog buddies.thank you for the advise paul your right as always and i hope your back on orange juice now.. :-)

  16. No More Anxiety Says:

    Lisa it is hard when we seem stuck in a grove, but as long as we allow this, and see it as no more than habit then it will dampen. If we start again getting frustrated or trying to force normal feeling, then we stay in a cycle.

    Orange juice…No I was out again last night, I am just on the verge of buying a bike to get fit again. See I have my own weak moments.

    Just a quick note also, I don’t want to be picky, but all the text talk has crept back in to posts. Please can people try not to use it, as I keep having to go through posts and editing them. Thank you, it really would help me, there are a few reasons why its not good to use text talk and your help is appreciated.

    Cheers Paul

  17. candie Says:

    Hi Lorry, yes anyone can come to the gathering, the more the merrier 😀

  18. lisa Says:

    thanks paul,i do see it ,i think its where iv been fighting again,trying to do something about the habit instead of not doing.your advise is always appreciated. :-)

  19. lorryt Says:

    i have started doing some me things the past couple of months too, which have helped, had a pamper day ( facial etc) ALL YOU GIRLIES OUT THERE WOULD APPRECIATE IT OBVIOUSLY, MAYBE A FEW GUYS TOO WHO KNOWS !!
    Had a full body massage, and reflexology this morning, which was amazing as the lady didnt know me but said my adrenal area on my feet was really knotty, after which i mentioned that i struggled with anxiety, but i am gonna have it done again next month to see if it helps.
    I have come to realise that i can not worry about everyone, and i shouldnt worry about anyone, if you get me.i dont need to waste time on needless emotions that only make things worse.

  20. katie x Says:

    hello to everyone hope your all doing ok im new to this post but was reading everyones messages and its so sad to see people suffer im doing good the anxiety is still there and i do get impatient at times an want to stay at home because im safe and its calm but i tell myself just like paul said be ther if you must but im gettin on with my life regardless if you come or not!!! it works honest i act like my life is great and as a few of you mentioned i have 2 kids and they help me get up and get on with things even if i dont want to at times…

    i beleive recovery is possible only 6 weeks ago i was trembling thinking i colundnt walk properly where i felt so dizzy thought i was dying at times was so weak now im great just by accepting i do get bad days especially if i am hungover but hey there good 4 practising acceptance
    take care all
    have faith
    katie x

  21. Debbie Says:

    Hi guys, hope everyone is doin good. :) I’ve just found a piece of paper that i wrote a year ago with lots of my symptoms on them!!
    thought i’d share them with you all…………………
    1. Sometimes feel detached from my surroundings
    2. Poor concentration
    3. Poor co’ordination
    4. Worryed, anxious and scared
    5. paniky if not in control of a situation
    6. Tired, shaky Nauseous
    7. everything is an effort
    8 Agitated
    9. poor sleep from 4am
    When i first looked at the paper i thought, oh no i’m no better at all i thought i was doin so good and through the paper in the bin cause it made me feel worse and worried… hmm pesky worrys!!
    so i picked it out the bin and looked at it. and you know what guys, most of them have gone, the few that are left are maybe so obvious to me now cause i’m not depressed and have the racing thoughts to keep my mind focused off them. Am i making sense??? :)
    i just thought in this blog of recovery storys that i’d write about how my recovery is deffinatly coming. :)
    We just have to believe in ourselves.
    Paul you sound like a party animal!! must be the summer spirit!! You’ll need to get on your bike!!
    Lorryt, you must look after yourself, i did the reflexology thing and she spotted my adrenal glands too and my eyes!! I loved it! Have you thought about Yoga?? i get loads out of it.
    With loads of love to everybody

  22. No More Anxiety Says:

    Very good points there Debbie, I also one day reflected and thought ‘Hang on where was I 12 months ago?’ I had come so far but as I say to people don’t watch for progress, just be happy with it, I hardly noticed how much I had actually moved forward. I think we tend to just think about how we felt last week and then maybe get down if we have a bad week, which is the wrong thing to do, onward however we feel, stay positive and always believe that the week after maybe the best yet.

    And me a party animal? Hardly Debbie, I like socialising that’s my problem, when you spent so long like me feeling so lost and down, that when you get your life back, you want to live every minute, it totally makes you appreciate everything again. I just need to do it without too much beer that’s all : ) I am actually hoping to join a cycling club, it has always been an ambition of mine.


  23. Debbie Says:

    cycling club! very energetic… good on you. i totally understand the feeling of not wasting a minute after you’ve come out the hole.. i’m heading to a wedding tomorrow night, can’t wait! better get the fake tan sorted first;)

  24. Nicole Says:

    Hi all,
    I am feeling like I am “stuck in a groove” as Paul said. I am finding that I am constantly thinking about my anxiety and then I think about thinking about the anxiety! ‘Round and ’round in circles…I know that I have to just witness this and not get caught up in it, but it is sooooo hard to do. I have had this 2 1/2 years now and when I read about others on here who have found the way out it is great but also a little discouraging. Although I know that I should not do this and just keep my head up and know that my body will heal when I make my peace with these sesations, high emotions etc.
    I just had to let that out. Thanks! Nicole

  25. Frank Says:

    Here’s an insight that may interest some.

    When I experienced waves of panic and anxiety, I would always ask myself the following questions:

    Why am I feeling this way?
    Why am I like this? I was never like this before.
    I was doing so well but now I’m having a setback… Why?

    Around the time i got to the 3rd question, my mind felt out of control and irrational thoughts start to go through my head. What if this is bad? What if I can’t fix this? Am I losing control? What if I lost myself forever? etc…

    So basically at this point my mind was in overdrive and these thoughts came automatically… sort of like a snowball rolling down a steep hill; as time went, the speed and size of the ball increased and it rolls more fiercely and with more power as time moves on. This leads me to believe that the cycle of anxiety is largely conjured unconsciously.

    But have we lost control of ourselves? The answer to this is an easy NO because waves of anxiety do not last forever. They will eventually and indefinitely subside and we regain a level of control of our thoughts. But shortly after, we begin to worry about our thinking patterns and then we fall into another cycle of hyper-analytical thinking. So i thought to myself, how do i stop this cycle.

    Since we’ve established that an anxiety attack is largely conjured unconsciously, I think the key to halting it is to consciously analyze the questions that we ourselves are fearing. This involves taking all of our irrational thoughts, and instead of shying away and fearing them; we must move towards them and analyze them for what they are. I think by doing this, we are regaining more control of our unconscious mind since we are actually thinking things through before reacting with fear. This will allow us to realize the rationality of our thoughts and accept and acknowledge them as irrational and move on.

    But do keep in mind that we must not just rush in and analyze every single thought that comes into our minds right away. This will eventually tire us out even further and could just worsen the situation. Rome was not built in a day, a snowball does not stop instantly after rolling down a hill, and such anxiety does not go away in a day. Thoughts need their space in order to properly analyze them. Analyzing too many at a time will cause us to lose control and could bring us back down. Eventually through experience and training, we can come through on the other side.

    Hope this insight was useful.

  26. Tom McGurk Says:

    morning everyone. interesting to read some of the comments about symptoms, everyone has different ones, some frightening the life out of some people which wouldnt cause anyone else a second thought. yet we can know they all fall under the same umbrella – anxiety. wanted to share a wee bit of what im going through at present. my health anxiety has come to the fore over the past few months again, due to my marriage breakup, which finally came to a head 5 weeks ago when my wife and i separated. during this time i have been trying to come to terms with both the breakup and facing the future alone and the resurgence of the anxiety. for me my health anxiety manifests itself as fears of there being something wrong with my heart. it has led me to having 10 or 11 ecgs over the last 3 months alone – reassurance does very little for me – i know there is nothing wrong with my heart but i dont know if you know what i mean!!!

    i misinterpret normal body sensations and catastrophise them, so feeling hungry, tired, excited, hungover can all set me off. i will zone in immediately in any muscle spasms, trapped wind or strange feelings in my chest and immediately start panicking, which of course only makes the feelings worse. i also feel anxiety or stress in my chest over-sensitively and this at times causes me to press my chest, making it bruised and very painful – as u can imagine this does not help the heart attack fears, yet I AM DOING IT TO MYSELF!!

    you will know from some of my previous posts over the past few months that i had begun to despair again. anxiety brought depression back. i contemplated suicide as i thought this was the only way out. thankfully with meds, a lot of support and some counselling i have come out the other side of that dark period and apart from occasional setbacks have only really the anxiety to contend with.

    what i am trying to say is that slowly but surely we can all get there, IF we give things enough time, try to accept and not allow anxiety to stop us doing the things we enjoy. i did for some months there, but now i have most of the fullness of my life back. i am back to work, i try to not let anxiety stop me doing what i enjoy. what is hard tho is missing my children since i now only see them every other weekend. this is tearing me apart. i would love to hear from others who have gone through similar experiences to me. i do email regularly with carol from this blog but would love to set up correspondence with others – my email

    thanks and good luck eveyrone – keep spirits and heads up and above all keep going


  27. Natalie Says:

    Last week i had my first good few days in nearly a year. I didn’t only feel anxiety free, I actually was back to my normal self, it was so amazing, i laughed, i told jokes, i felt confident in myself. I could almost say that for a second i felt care free!

    I have felt c**p again over the last few days, but i don’t really care that i feel so bad as i had a fabulous feeling of being great last week and now i know that my former self is still lurking under the anxiety. I know the anxiety cloud will lift again and i so look forward to it. I feel terrible now, though it doesn’t bother me so much.

    Anyway i would just like to say that everyone here will come out the other end. I don’t want this to sound patronising. I feel flippin’ awful right now, but i know i will make a full recovery and you will too. It’s hard to believe that this will happen, especially, if like me, you don’t even remember what normal life feels like. Well, i experienced it last week, just be patient and it will happen to us all.

    I hope this doesn’t sound cheesy, it probably does but it’s just i wanted to tell you all. I didn’t believe i could feel good, till it happened. Yes!!

    Let’s keep the faith guys,


  28. lisa Says:

    hey natalie,its not cheesy at all.i felt it a couple of weeks ago but then a few stressful things happened.i now feel the blind has come back down and finding accepting difficult at the your right it is there for all of us. :-)

  29. candie Says:

    Its great when ya have days like that isnt it Natalie, i’m having them quite frequently lately. Its mad because i never thought i would ever feel this good again, and now i know recovering from anxiety is well within my reach.

    I still have anxiety, and some thoughts throughout my day, but now i dont see it as the enemy.. im just happy with how good i feel and will let the rest fall into place. When i first read Pauls book, i was so eager to get better.. looking back i was striving for clarity so much i made myself worse. I realised exactly where i was going wrong when i read Wills book, which Paul breifly had on here. Will described the moment of feeling better, as hitting rock bottom.. and just not caring to fight anymore. That really hit home with me, as i realised that was the moment my setbacks passed. Now i dont have as many, as im learning not to fight and let go.. whiles not grasping for recovery.

    Its weird now, as i can accept having anxiety as part of my future- without feeling that impending doom. Dont get me wrong im not pleased about it, i just dont feel the need to do anything about it. Even if i’m this way for the rest of my life i know i will be just fine. Considering three months ago, living with my anxiety was not an option… i can really see how far i have come.

  30. steph Says:

    Hi all hope everyone is ok…well i havent posted for few weeks again for a number of reasons…my daughter has had chick pox last week or so and my pc has been playing up AGAIN! lol! anyway i read a week or two ago a post that shirley had made a recovery and was doing really well so i just wanted to say well done to you shirley and hope everything is going well still. I can totally relate to what frank says as these last few days i have had setback and i really do question why its hapening again..then the next thought is oh no im going to go straight back to square one if not worse! when i read franks post it made perfect sense it is our negative thoughts that conjur up the vicious circle of anxiety again! although this is the hardest thing for me that sets my anxiety off a the min that and the memories of certain anxiety fuelled attacks…i do tell myself its only build up of adrenalin and im going to be fine..however when the anxity or low moods that strong there is a niggling at the back of my mind that makes me question myself. Yet like candie i can see how far iv come as there was time when had no good days at all…and now the bad are pretty rare i guess i havent finally believed in myself truely yet….its generally new symptoms that set me off also..the low mood without really feelin on edge realy gets to me as i think it could be depression developing but then iv read on here and in pauls book that low mood is an offshoot of anxiety…the meeting up sounds like a good idea to candie!

  31. Jerry C Says:

    I’m a first-time poster.

    Thanks Paul for creating your websites and sharing so much info!

    I hope everyone is on his/her way to a good recovery!

    Since last October, I started to have on-and-off chest pain and a few palpitations. I’ve had various kinds of cardiac medical tests, all of which indicated that my heart is ok. I also developed many other symptoms, like headache/tight band, fatigue, insomnia, sweating, etc. Both my internist and cardiologist thought I have some kind of anxiety disorder, and asked me to take it easy and relax etc. My condition got really worse in March when I had a panic attack, the worst life experience I’d ever had. I ended up in ER and was checked and told that I didn’t have a heart attack but panic attack.

    I went thru Chinese acupuncture and herbs in April and May. Most of my symptoms have gone away and I feel a lot better now, except some insomnia and chest pain.

    This week, my chest discomfort has got much worse than I’ve ever had. Maybe I should call that a setback. This symptom feels like more like soreness (or pins) and really sharp pain. The discomfort usually occurs between my left shoulder and chest — sometimes on the back, sometimes on the front, sometimes on the upper arm. When it’s on the front, it tends to move towards my chest, and causes palpitation and heart pounding. Then my chest would feel tight and I feel very uncomfortable. Everyday this week, the symptom has been on and off. I would wake up in the middle of night, and notice my heart is pounding hard and fast. I manage to turn off the “what-ifs” for the pain/soreness. But I have real trouble to deal with my heart palpitation and tight chest. I would get pretty nervous and anxious. I’d take a .5mg xanax when this happens but it doesn’t really help much.

    I just wonder if anyone out there has similar experience. It’s be really comforting to know that I’m not alone!

    Paul, I really like to know your thoughts on dealing with heart palpitation/pounding and chest tightness. I’ve almost got to a point that this is hopeless and helpless.


  32. steph Says:

    Hi all sorry to post again..but this day has not been that good for me mood wise..sorry to put a dampner on peoples saturdays…im just a bit taken a back really as i havent felt like this for months..low mood is a hard one to accept!! jus dont feel with it at a i guess thats the dp again…jus truly thought i was over it and i know i should be tellin myself its only a setback and i am but the feelin is so strng at times my thinking is so negative!! im still gettin on with my day i took my daughter to a little fair before but i was puttin on a smile and gettin on with it when really i felt awful however i know this is the right thing to do and soon the mood will lift..i just think its mad how u can be happier than youve been for long time on the road to recovery then wham out of nowhere!!! at the end of the day i should try and focus on the good days which i have had plenty of..i truly believed i was done with anxiety apart from the irritating thought or panic now and then…i know this is a setback but has anyone got any tips or thoughts on how they deal with this?? anyway ill probably be laughing about this and thinking how could i let myself get like that in a few days,like i have done all the other days!! sorry again for rambling i guess its withdrawals from my pc to haha!

  33. lisa Says:

    hi steph,try and use the tools you used before when you felt great,its bad habits and memory thats all.remember pauls advise expect setbacks, use his book to recap .your givng loads of respect to the bad days,remember why you were doing good and work back on that.hope that helps.i know its hard,acceptance is a buggar at the moment for chin up :-)

  34. steph Says:

    Thanks lisa ..i know everything you say is right and i know this myself.. i am paying it to much respect, it is hard at times though to your right and i hope your coping the end of the day lisa we’ve both had good and bad days when we weree anxiety free and probably didnt bat an eyelid as to why we felt that way, so we should try to remember this and its perfectly normal not to feel 100% all the time !hope that makes sense!:)

  35. katie x Says:

    hey everyone hope ur ok…. just want to say to steph like u i found it very hard to accept the bad days too i used to think im gettin the hang of this them bam a bad day id cry get frustrated have all those bad thoughts again!!! I cant cope with this? what if this is me forever? kill urself total despair….now im gettin there and know life can b good even though i feel like im on another planet at times when the bad thoughts or feelings come i just say positive things to myself it really helps try it!!! say do your thing watever i know im going to get better ive had plenty ov good days and truly just accept it its not easy i know i got 2 children to cope with aswell but it works better than sitting there feeling sorry for urself reassure urself an u will b ok….
    tom im going to add u on msn ok i totally understand where ur coming from with the heart ive been there so many times i used to always check it was still beating lol but im good now….. x

  36. Andrea Says:


    I’m new to this site, but this post has made me feel a little better. I keep getting panic attacks, even when I know things are ok, my negative thinking is that bad it makes me think things are going to happen that aren’t and then I become obessed.

    I’d been having a few good days and then woke up this morning with that sense of despair and had an panic attack and now I feel frustrated with myself for getting anxious over nothing.

    By seeing it as I am just having a set back day, it makes me feel a little better.

  37. steph Says:

    Hi katie..thanks for normally ok with coping with the bad days but i guess i havent had them this bad for ages!i was practically symptom free for ages..and i gues its just a bit disheartening i am finding it bit hard at the min..and am frustrated at myself for paying the setback to much attention!! vicious circle springs to mnd and the thing is im causing at the min by fearing my low mood thinking its come back with avengance.I was laughing with my freinds not so long ago abot how i was and thinking how daft i acted to things as i become ultra sensitive to the silliest of things where i could break down n cry!! get a grip woman its only pesky adrenalin and an overactive mind!!haha! Im jus finding the low mood hard to deal with at the minute..but like yourself katie i do tell myself positive things like im gonna get bet soon and remind myself how good i was feeling…the weather doesnt help much i dont know where ur from manchester and all its done is rain and be realy dull urrrrrgh bring the sunshine back!! x

  38. lorryt Says:

    well like natalie i have been having some really great days this past week. havent had any anxious thoughts despite a lot of bad things going on in my life at the mo. i cant change the outcome of them as they are out of my hands so therefore i cant let myself worry about them. i never thought that i would get back to being like this after so long, but i am always aware that a bad day may hang around and try and set me back. a bit of apprehension i suppose , but i dont like to speak too soon but i honestly think the light at the end of the tunnel is moving closer, then my next goal will be to cut down my meds to 1/2 dosage. i feel that having faith and sticking to pauls advice is really starting to fall into place allbeit slowly but surely.
    life is good enjoy it.

    all the best


  39. katie x Says:

    hey steph im from wales its not raining down here but very cloudy but ur right in saying the weather can effect ur mood!!!! i do get days when im in a low mood but i dnt think i got depression i think i caught this anxiety soon enuf lucky me!!! x

  40. Paul Mc Says:

    Regarding the mood /weather ,thoughts and feelings ! I recently was made aware of a neighbour who suffers badly from seasonal anxiety disorder , and who was told by a doctor , there was nothing they could do , except prescribe medication , I cant help but think that this apparent disorder is a screen for an underlying anxiety issue , as are the feelings that are often associated on here with the weather conditions , I think it’s important to treat this experience , like all the symptoms of anxiety , and give it as little notice as possible , after all , who , on this planet regardless of their situation likes a wet , cold or overcast day ! pay it little attention , and it wont drag you down !

  41. ClaireC Says:

    Hi everyone
    I havent posted for a while, but have been around reading everyones posts. I just wanted to say that Steph, I know exactly where you are coming from, I have suffered with Anxiety for a long time and when i start to feel low i think oh no its coming back and it kind of scares me a bit. I have found this part of anxiety and depression particularly difficult to ‘accept’. I have definatly found all of Pauls advice and the posts on the blog really helpful and I am feeling 100 times better than I was 6-9 months ago. I do still have set backs at times but am getting there slowly but surely! I just wanted to add as well on the over analysing thing, I was feeling a bit moody for no reason last night and was a bit hard on my boyfriend (who was just in the way at the wrong moment)! Just because i couldnt work out why i had a strop on i was getting more angry and trying to look at someone to blame! I then thought there is no point in trying to work it out as it doesn’t really matter and we all get in moods now and again! x

  42. Shirley D. Says:

    Thank you Steph for your kind words regarding my recovery, I really feel like I should be the big Mamma who puts her arm around everyone and passes on my gift of recovery, sadly I can’t, I just can’t help thinking that maybe one day i might be back down to where I once was, i try not to. It’s just because at the moment everything is positive in my life, apart from an impending divorce!!!! I have found I can cope with so many more things that a few short months ago I couldn’t – it is confidence returned.
    I have got a bit moody today and have started to feel that life is unatainable, the trouble is, when you are sat on your lonesome, you think that you are the only one feeling this way, I realise that there are lots of people feeling this way, depressed about returning to jobs they don’t want to do, no light at the end of the tunnel, no wonder people suffer from anxiety. Look positivily at not liking work – it brings in the money which enables you to have a certain amount of freedom. Mine will be paying for my MOT this week in one hand and out of the other!!!
    Yes the weather is a big deciding factor, the sun makes everyone feel better.
    I am suffering with Urticaria at the moment, in fact have done so since February that’s getting me down, every day for months I have woken up with raised red spots somewhere over my body, it is an allergic reaction of some kind, blood tests won’t reveal it just to make sure the main organs are functioning ok.
    But, again if that’s all i’m feeling down about then it’s minor compared to others.
    Shirley D

  43. lisa Says:

    hi hope everyone good,iv had a great two days so know there coming slowly now,the weather i just think i cant change it or do anything about it what will be will ones mood is the same all day ,we might get up late,burn the toast,find a fiver on the way to work,get stuck in traffic,win on a scratch card,break a nail, tell a joke all in one dont worry about your mood it changes constantly.its forecast hot this tuesday so we will be all moaning about being burnt wednesday lol..

  44. Raymond Says:

    Hello Everybody,
    I wonder could I get some advice or answers from people with anxiety as they are the best people to ask .When my anxiety is high I get distressing thoughts and images .In my experiences with anxiety over the past 20 years the disturbing thoughts are the most debilitating and hardest thing to cope with .I think it is because it shrinks your world right down to almost nothing .I know the best thing to do is not to give the thoughts any time or respect and let them float past but given the subject and type of thoughts this is very hard to do when you are in the moment of high anxiety .It seems that reading posts on here daily they are always the last symptom to go .I cannot understand why after all this time it still feels so real and have such a crippling effect .
    When I wake up in the morning the anxiety is like flicking on a light switch .It is like having an electrical current flowing through your body .Then the thoughts kick in for the rest of the day .The thoughts vary in subject in relation to where I am and what I am doing .They are always the worst or inappropriate thought you could have in that situation. If I am in the kitchen it is utensil or food related. If driving it is related to that .If standing close to somebody it is usually about losing control and on and on. I especially have a hard time around sharp or pointy objects. They are always unpleasant and against my nature. I am a very sensitive and soft natured person which makes this very much harder to understand. I know they are only thoughts and a product of anxiety which needs an outlet due to excess adrenalin constantly rushing through and around the body. But the feelings that come with the thoughts are horrible and seem to stick there for a long time causing confusion .Others on the blog have described this feeling a lot better than me .I was a very anxious teenager in regards to health and at 20 I took my first panic attack in the cinema .There is a constant feeling of confusion, lack of emotions and numbness. The day is constantly wrapped up in thoughts, body sensations, feeling’s and over thinking. It is all very constant and intense. I find it hard to watch the news or certain Television programs depending on the subject or reading newspapers because of the nature of the content.
    Then when night comes and the body starts to wind down a bit the anxiety is not as bad on your body and it feels like none of this is real and wonder why there is so much time spent on it.The thoughts don’t have the same effect and you can start to think about other things. Things seem a bit clearer and easier to cope with, less confused.
    I know the only way to overcome this is to move towards the fear, stay in the moment and let it pass without giving it any respect or time and then keep doing it. Is this common with this condition and has other people experienced these things?
    Somebody told me recently it is time to give up the fight, I just think I don’t know how.

  45. Candie Says:

    Raymond, i have suffered with these for about a year now. But i have got a lot better, did u take a look at will beswicks book when Paul had it on here? It is the same method Paul teaches in his book, but mainly aimed at thoughts etc.

    If you look on the obsessive thoughts category here on the blog, i have posted a link for it.

    It does get better, i have gone from spending my days consumed and panicking over them to weeks without them, or weeks not been bothered by them the slightest.

    Everyone has ways of channeling there anxiety, i supose thats why there are diff types of anixety disorders- they are all the same thing though.. adrenalin. Beleive me if the adrenalin wasnt there you wouldnt be bothered by them the slightest.. dont lay all the blame on the thoughts- they are not the issue, the issue is your anxiety causing adrenalin and your reaction to it. Once you accept that then you wont obsess as much.

  46. katie x Says:

    hi raymond

    i totally understand where your coming from with the thoughts..i myself have had some well disturbing thoughts especially with knives and the kitchen….they dnt bother me anymore but when i first experienced these thoughts i used to panic and think my body would take over and take action if y uo know what i mean but ive learnt it never does its just because my bodies anxious it automatically panics to these thoughts and things that come up on the news,in general conversation regarding someone elses health my head would automatically panic only last week at my sons nursery there was an outbreak of chickenpox my head went crazy your going to get it and because you didnt have it as a child it will turn into shingles then hospital then death then your new baby will have it…it alarmed but i didnt react or panic to these thoughts and luckily i havent caught the chickenpox… stick with it and remind yourself people who act upon these thoughts do not worry about them first they wouldnt think they would just do it you will b fine trust me…..

  47. Shirley D. Says:

    How your words rang true with me, especially the television bit, everything was so accentuated regards news programmes just couldn’t stand watching anything. I would be sat with my hands over my ears so as not to hear all (what appeared to be) continual bad news.
    I am normally a sweet natured person but I could quite easily have gone up behind anybody and given them a good elbowing in the neck or the biggest slap possible around their head. My worst was listening to the sirens of the various emergency services going out and I just imagined them to be going to members of my family or to the worst fatal incidents possible.
    Now I hardly hear the sirens, I hardly take any notice of the televison. When everything was desperate – everything was desperate, now I hardly give anything any thought. 6 months ago I would never have beleived that I would be well again – but I am – so please beleive in yourself, keep reading the blogs and especially Paul’s book, this was my saviour.
    Shirley D

  48. Tom McGurk Says:

    FAO katiex and paul mcg – you guys were going to add me to msn for a chat – are you able to do that yet? if anyone else would be willing to have an msn chat regarding anxiety, please add and send me a message. i could do with some positivity!!!

  49. Leanne Says:

    Hey Guys
    Haven’t been on for a while. For some reason I don’t feel really part of the gang here. Dunno whether I’m just being paranoid but there we are. Anyway – although I’ve been away I’ve had a few mini situations mainly with blurred vision and dizziness – and in fact am having one as I type this. Just feel all blurry and dizzy. I’ve also started counselling as recommended by my doctor and its actually ok. The first one was awful I left feeling drained and head achey. Also throughout the session I couldn’t quite catch my breath but I have to say I feel like I’m making progress with the crazy thoughts I have. They seem to be getting fewer which I’m pleased about. Anyway – better go but just thought I’d check in.

  50. katie x Says:

    hey tom im going too add u ok chat soon katie x

  51. Paul Mc Says:

    Hi Leanne , There is no gang as such on here , we are all in the same boat ,and visit this site to get help and support , and to offer advice if you feel up to it ! Maybe the anxiety is just making you feel this way , detached , as it can make you feel , but be rest assured everyone on here
    welcomes you with open arms ! P x

  52. lisa Says:

    hi,yes i agree with paul were all here to help and support ,its no gang ,wev just become friendly and got to know each other through the blog .anxiety can make you feel abit paranoid sometimes so dont worry,were all just a nice friendly bunch on here so feel welcome any time leanne. :-)

  53. Candie Says:

    Ditto with Paul and lisa,

    I felt like that at first leanne, but now they cant shut me up! Ya should post on here whenever ya like, its good to hear from other people!

  54. Shirley D. Says:

    I wanted to ask Leanne why she felt she didn’t belong to the gang, but didn’t want to be the first!! So, now I will ask? Is it because she can see more people being positive? when i was feeling at my worst, I would only look at blogs where there was someone with the same level of hopelessness as me, but Manuella’s early comments were the ones that brought my out of my partiular hole, she said very little but a lot at the same time, she was suffering but still had a great sense of humour and her comments used to make me smile, then I knew that I was still inside, I did find it really difficult to return to the site once I began to feel really better because I didn’t want to be reminded of the suffering, so that was why i stayed away for a while, i am back because I’m not suffering anxiety as such but am waking up with that sick feeling again, sleeping well but always awake at six and then dozing takes me into an unreal world with unreal thoughts but it’s nothing that I can’t handle – just a short blip whilst awaiting finalisation of finances and an impending divorce, plus a new boss who is sooooooooo fussy about how her coffee is made that it’s putting me on edge, so little things creeping in – damn and blast it!!!!!!
    Gotta go, will check in again soon
    All the best to everyone
    Shirley D

  55. Shirley D. Says:

    Oh yes, i’m also back because I was hoping my particular positive vibes would help others.!!

  56. lorryt Says:

    hi there

    can you shed light on this anyone??
    , i have had a few weeks now of freedom as i call it, almost back to the me i was once , confidence sense of humour, wanting to do things , not wondering what is the point to anything, but i have this feeling that things are gonna go backwards again ?? why is this, its almost being scared of feeling the anxiety again. i have been keeping busy as i dont like to be sat down doing nothing as it gives me too much time to think about it and it doesnt help.its almost like its lurking there ready to catch me off guard again ! and the more i think about it the more it bothers me.. i know its all part of recovery , but its a strange feeling that im going backwards ????????… maybe i have answered my own question

    its good to see so many people getting back to recovery and we all have our own roads, but hey we can all get there.


  57. lorryt Says:


    wouldnt call it a gang would call it a group of people who are all suffering the same way and we can all help each other, its so great to find this place. suppose you caould call it a support group !!!! all the best lorry

  58. samantha Says:

    hi guys

    its been a while since i have posted i have just been away for a few days and managed quite well on returning home i feel awful again the despair is back and not feeling normal and the worry of never feeling better does this make sense to anyone . i start my cbt tom so hopefully that will help me


  59. Paul McG Says:

    Lorry ! its obviously a very welcome sensation when you begin to feel better in yourself , with that , yes ! I think , both old habits ( eg worry and obsessing ) can begin to kick in and the very thought of falling back into the cycle of anxiety , will bring on these feelings , the answer is DO NOT get into that trap , enjoy your progress , and flow with it , DONT put hurdles , needlessly in your path to recovery !
    p x

  60. lorryt Says:

    cheers Paul

    i have sat this morning and read pauls book through, as i didnt get any sleep last night, but hey i know that i can get a good nite sleep in tonite, whereas before i woulds of obsessed about not sleeping !!,

    i appreciate your advice, who could have known what a rollecoaster of emotions this anxiety holds , but im learning to stay on teh ride and stay calm. its all helping but sometimes it can catch us out

    all the best


  61. katie x Says:

    hi samantha i know where your coming from last weekend i went away with my my partner and it was lovely no kids i relaxed slept like a baby coped pretty well but as soon as i came back the despair when he went back to work was rough im on maternity leave at the mo as i have a four month old baby boy….so the same routine everyday makes my mind go into overdrive alot…..i find it difficult talking and explaining to my boyfriend coz he just looks at me like im stupid and some off the thoughts i have i wouldnt share with noone as they get disturbing and id most propably scare him and then the men in white coats would b coming for me lol…..well get threw this we have to ive made so much progress and like paul says when the despair and desperation comes over me the feeling to recover takes over so i just on with my day.x

  62. lorryt Says:

    hi Katie

    Its a pretty tough time in your life when your kids are very young, but you sound like you are doing so well. i wish i had forund thsi site before i had my kids it would of saved me years of suffering and wondering what was going wrong with me. Dont expect too much from yourself, its enough that you have carried a child for 9 months let alone caring for him 24/7. yous ound so postive about it, just beleive you can get there and you will. in time. I am learning that now !!!

    I would like to ask Paul a question how can you be sure you are fully recovered ?. one day i think i am and the next day it catches me off guard, im obviously on the right road, for which i am grateful to you all , as so far this is the only way that seems to make sense. One thing does concern me though the meds. Can anyone be positive about them as im trying to come off em slowly, but its almost like im waiting for them to stop working if you know what i mean. i have come down from 100mg to 50 over the past month or so, and previous to that i was taking other stuff too so i guess thats a great improvement, but is it a case that the positive thinking side of things takes over????. the depression side of things really concerns me still.
    hope someoen can shed some yet more light on it !!!!!!!

    have a good day all


  63. lisa Says:

    hi lorry,just come off your meds only when you feel ready to,if your feeling there doing you good stay on them,if you dont feel like there doing anything why take them.alot is how you think but if your worried about the depression side of things stay on them until you no 100% your not feeling depressed anymore,then come off them gradually,again everyone is and your doctor will work out to come off them slowly,youl get ups n downs like in normal everyday to day things but you will know how to cope without thinking i need a pill. remember its 3 steps forward 1 back,rubbish i no and frustrating.i think recovery is when the feelings of anxiety and symptoms no longer bother us anymore. hope its some help to you but look how far youv come :-)

  64. lorryt Says:

    thanks lisa

    trouble… doc thinks i should be on em for the rest of my life !!!!!! well we shall take things slowly and go from there. yes i have learnt that its 3 forward 2 back , the hard way !! but i guess that way we know what to expect i guess rather than instant wellness. you have to go through the rubbish to get to the good stuff. i was never really depressed just constantly anxious as i came off another drug and had to cope with the greiving process which i had never really done for 8 years !. i guess emotionally i was a mess, physically i wasnt at all well which added to the mix, and i just hit the ground and couldnt get back up. i think i know my body best and i shall stay on a low dose for a while see how it goes
    thanks again all and sorry to go on !!!!!

  65. lisa Says:

    hey lorry dont worry your not going on,your body holds the emotions,its like a grieving process,youv bottled them all up and they needed releasing iv had to do the same,but mine wasnt the same as hit the ground but look at you now,your right you have to go through the rubbish wont be on them for life,just stay on them until YOUR ready to come off them. :-)

  66. katie x Says:

    hey lorry

    hope ur ok like you i always wonder that how will i know if im recovered but i think its true you recover when the feelings dnt bother you anymore..i just go abt my day now like its not there it is but it dnt stop me doing nothing only 2moro im going to a wedding and all week my heads bin tellin me dnt go ull panic in the church make a scene pass out but i know it wnt happen yeah ill b anxious but so what my partners there with me….as for the meds im only on a low dose as it was getting so intense i was like manic not sleeping up at 3am doin the washing lol not good when u got a 4 year old n 4 month old without sleep i was crying angry just wanted 2 curl up at times but my kids get me threw there worth gettin up 4 u just stay positive thats all we can do and it seems to work if the meds help then take them take care x

  67. lorryt Says:

    cheers guys, your positive vibes make a real difference. i know what you mean about the kids i have 2 , 4 year old and a 9 year old. and if i didnt have them im sure id be in a far worse place.

    HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND, mine has started with a nice bottle of zinfandel !!, sure it will end with a hangover!!!

  68. ClaireC Says:

    Hi Lorry
    I am in a similar situation to you. I am taking 75mg at the moment but really want to cut it down by half, but my doctor is stuck in the dark ages and says i need them for life!!! It just doesn’t feel me with confidence when a proffesional gives the impression that I will never fully recover and will be on drugs for life! When I know myself that after suffering with this for years after coming across Pauls website reading the book and putting it all into practice in 6 months my life has turned around! I feel like a different person! I do still have bad days or even weeks but it does take time to learn to accept. I have had a bit of a rough week or two, just feel constantly tired and wound up but i know its only excess adrenalin needing a release, will go to the gym in the morning – promise! lol!
    Have a good weekend everyone – hope the sun stays out! x

  69. candie Says:

    Hi, just wondering if someone can clarify something for me!

    I’m not asking for advice, or feel desperate about this aspect of anxiety.. i supose im just a bit curious as to what it is. For as long as i have had anxiety, which has been well over a year now… i have noticed my mind is constantly chattering, im always thinking and ‘watching’ myself in my head.. is this depersonalisation?

    It doesnt really bother me, it sometimes makes me lack in concentration but im not scared of it or anything. I arnt even bothered if it isnt anxiety, and its just how i am… supose i just wanna know if i have depersonalisation. I have had the odd thoughts of feeling unreal, but thats only because i read it on here then thought about it during an anxiety attack.

    Sorry if this sounds silly compared to the problems people are having at the minute.

    I’m in the middle of a setback at the minute, its strange though as the feeling of desperation isnt present.. things may be looking up :)

  70. katie x Says:

    hi candie i think it is depersonalisation that you have i get that all the time chatting in my head watching myself….just dont let it bother you like you said youll be fine let it chat on……
    i had one of the hardest days ever yesterday went to a wedding and boy did my body panic in that church blimey i kept looking at the door thinking run out but i didnt as much as i sat there sweating and my heart was pounding, even my hands were soaking… i didnt run i stood there sang the songs clapped my hands and let it be yeah it was scary but i knew not to run i just said wateva your not spoiling my day im so proud ov myself it stayed there all day when i was sat down eating at the reception and having to chat to new people my head was saying just go home your going to make a scene but i didnt drank some wine had a terrible headache but i just got on with my day and this morning i feel great it really works thank you paul so much.x

  71. lorryt Says:

    hi all

    having a rough day, completely lost my apetite, feel drained tired wanna cry, heart racing, but know what it is . still having trouble accepting that i have gone forward soo much to go back again but im not stressing about it (too much anway). when i feel good its great , and i question nothing , but when i feel crappy as i do today (probably doesnt help my hubby got a strop on yesterday with the kids and that upset me ), i am too soft and feel that sometimes everything gets to me too easily, suppose i am quite vulnerable still, and am expecting too much from my tired and battered nerves!, but its a case of getting back on that horse and riding again !!. this is the way to go, i feel that i am improving and as i have cut my meds down to 1/2 i may feel a few more sensations but i need to feel them to know that they are getting less and less, if that makes sense. but typing my feelings out here helps too and sorry if im going on again !!!
    i have to remember i have come sooooo far and look at that rather than how far i have to go !

    all the best and now its stopped raining i may be able to get in the garden.

  72. candie Says:

    Thanks for replying Katie, i never new i had depersonalisation! Because i never new i had i supose i just accepted it before i even found this site, so it has never been an issue for me. I thought depersonalisation was where everything looks grey and dull, and things seem unreal.. but i supose thats derealization (i think?).. i know people can get a mix of both also. I dont think i have bad depersonalisation, maybe mild as i havnt added any second fear to it.

    Katie, you did really well to keep ya cool and not flight from your panic, eventually you will teach your mind there is no real fear and you will be fine again by accepting and not running from the thoughts and feelings.. facing fears and accepting them, allowing them to be there is what is going to help you recover :)

  73. Payal Says:

    Hello everyone, especially Paul:
    I am based in Toronto and about 2 months ago had an anxiety attack which quickly turned into GAD. I am 36 years old with two lovely children and a caring husband. I have a great job and generally healthy and am tired of people asking me WHY I am anxious and depressed. I DO NOT KNOW!

    But the good news is that with some Homeopathic treatment and generally keeping myself busy, trying to get my physically healthy and active as well as keeping occupied with social activities (and off course my kids) I am slowly recovering. I still suffer from early morning anxiety periods when my stomach churns and I feel nausea (I don’t have a gall baldder and the anxiety make my digestion a nightmare) but as the day passes I feel better and more in control.

    The bad news is that I continue to obsess about getting better and back to my original self…… which bring me to this “Thank you Paul.” I cannot tell you how helpful your website is. I just found it today and plan to order the book as a handy-dandy “recovery pill” to boost my spirits up.

    One big problem that I have faced is my loss of “faith” since my anxiety started. I find this so sad since faith at this point would have helped a lot. Has anyone else faced this and what did you do to “bring back your faith”. Paul any suggestions?

  74. JR Says:

    does anyone have symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)? If having a tough day and my mind is just running and I can’t help but listen.

  75. katie x Says:

    hi candie yeah i think i got a mix ov both dnt happen so much now now the unreal thing just comes and goes where b4 it was constant…..the wedding thing was major and the funny thing im going to another this saturday its like gods testing me lol but im not bothered i know ill b fine 4 sure….

    hey lorry hope ya ok my heart goes out to you honest i hate it when when things go bad an i also lose my appetite which worries me as im only a size 8 and when i dnt eat i look so skinny an ill i get the shakes…..
    as 4 the vunerability im just like that take everything to heart the boyfriend being mad at the kids i want to kill him but i know at times its just discipline so i dnt say nothing….ive bin quite emotional lately and expect my life to always b perfect my family my home but i know that nothings perfect but 4 some reason it gets to me i worry to much what people think…..this anxiety makes you feel so lonely at times and strange an frustrated i colud go on…but u all know how i feel…just keep smilin i say and b thankful 4 what we got…..x

  76. lorryt Says:

    Katie, you hit the nail on the head. im too soft and take everything to heart at the mo, im having a crap morning but a great thought just popped in my head that one of you posted on here, and it made me feel better. i have spent most of the night being disturbed by our new kitten so im shattered, and when im tired it all goes to pot again.i cant eat again and yes i have the shakes too. i dont expect life to be perfect, but when it goes crap i shouldnt react as i do, i think i catastrophise everything. my hubby isnt too well, as he suffers too and hes taken time off work and this is concerning me , as money is tight etccccccc.

    Katie you did so well at the wedding, i admire that as i know how desperate the feeling is to run away from it. It shows that for us Pauls methods and thinking is right. Although at times i could quite easily give it all up !. but my new way of hnalding it kicks in i guess and i ithnk about you lot and how wea re all in it togther, that really helps

    have a good day all xx

  77. katie x Says:

    hey lorry hope ur days bin okay mines good went to look at my new house im moving in on the 11th august cant wait yippee im so excited something to look forward to and keep me occupied….
    the boyfriends working away all week i love it that sounds selfish i know but the kids are in bed by 7 and i got the whole nite in silence i love that peace and quiet when im like this my mind calms no conversations going on u know….you are right thought the feeling to recover always takes over that feeling of dread the first time i experienced was about 4 years ago and i did recdover for two years but back then i didnt have a clue i wouldnt go out get dressed bond with my first born he was 5 months when it happened i just thought i was going to die everynite id stay awake thinking if i didnt i wouldnt wake awful place to be but im positive thats very important i think when recovering staying positive and saying little things to urself everyday try it it really helps……..take care x

  78. lorryt Says:

    Katie, you sound very much like me, I lost my mum 6 weeks before my 1st child was born, I had no idea that i was gonna experience soo many emotions, without the help of my mum.i never really bonded with my oldest one , as much as i love her, it s strange.but anyway your life sounds like its going well , moving is always an exciting experience, quite stressful though with kids!!.
    it was 9 years ago i began to have probs, usual course of stuff went to the docs and put me on the anti depressants, came off em, got post natal badly after 2nd child, then put me on other drugs , which at the time i didnt realise would make me worse, over the course of 4 years!!!. came off em got bereavement counselling and found this place!! recovery for me is coming very slowly but i am learning to accept its gonna be a slow process as its been 9 years of suffering ! (plus the 12 i have been married !!!!!!!!!!) only joking !. my hubby has been great through it all, he could of walked away but a true test of his strength he stayed and supported me. he suffers though so we make a great pair !!!!!!. i really should listen to myself sometimes i can go on sooooooo.
    have a great day we are all here to help each other, which i find invaluable

  79. katie x Says:

    i know what u mean lorry my aunty died suddenly when my 1st born was five months she was only nineteen and thats when it first started i had a lump in my throat 4 a couple ov weeks went to docs said it was sore throat then one nite at my mums i was living home then..i had my first panic attack and oh my god did i panic i hyperventilated so badly that my hands curled in my mum who has suffered with anxiety herself just cuddled me for abt an hour reassured me that i was not dying as i was asking 4 an ambulance and wondering why she wouldnt get me one….that was the start of 8 months of a living nightmare at times i felt invisible when stood in a crowd wouldnt go out docs gave me so many different meds i ended up in hospital where my body was all over the place coz the docs took me off one anti depressant straight onto a stronger one and my body flipped the hospital sent me see a phyciatrist thought id lost….i thought i had a brain tumour was constantly checking my eyes and feeling my heart to make sure it was beating…i wouldnt b left alone with my son case anything happened to me an he was left screaming i wouldnt play with him coz i felt and thought i was saying my goodbyes everyday to everyone i loved…i came off all meds and got better only since my son was born 4 months ago its come bk but ive caught it out now got all them thoughts straight away im going to die but like you i found this site and actually believed what my doc was saying b4 i thought he was lying to protect me i can laugh abt it now but that was an awful place to b an i could never really explain how it felt the thought of dying everynite…

  80. lisa Says:

    hello payal,what a lovely name.can i say if you didnt have faith you wouldnt of found this site,you wouldnt get up on a morning,look after your family..but your doing all of those..believing in yourself and being positive you will recover will strenghthen your faith.we are a lovely bunch of people on here so keep popping payal and anyone else who just reads ,the more the merrier :-)

  81. lorryt Says:

    wow Katie you went through a LOT. im still on the meds coz im scared of coming off em !!!!but i feel i understand things a lot more now that my body and miind are just tired from all the stress of coping with stress, if that makes sense. Yet another anxiety has popped into my life but whereas before i would sit and cry and feel sorry for myself i am being positive that we can sort things out. Will leave you all to your big brother stuff as i dont watch it am i sad??……..

    byezee beyyeeee

  82. lisa Says:

    hey lorry, just ignore the big brother stuff was just having a crazy

  83. lorryt Says:

    i woke up this morning and felt ok got about my day and then my hubby rang me , and wham that was it, it felt like i was in the depths of despair momentarily as he was throwing his toys out of his pram about a car. but a sudden feeling of im not gonna let this get to me, although i have cried a bit ( us women around certain times of the month etc). its a different feeling than i was like a year ago, its just life stuff rather than ohh god i cant handle this any more. do you understand what i mean. maybe i am recovering a lot more than i thought? who knows just accept this will pass and i will be ok. its only natural under the circumstances. i dont like the feelingbut i shall carry on and not let it dictate my day.

    sorry just needed to get thta off my chest.

  84. katie x Says:

    i dnt watch big brother either…..

    and lorry stop apologising too…..

  85. Katy Says:

    Hi Paul and everyone.
    This is my first post, and I just want to say thankyou paul for your book, after 6 years it is the only real help I have found.
    i have been ok for a few months, and just got back from a week away. The hol was great and I felt like my old self, then on the flight back i had a bad thought and had one of the worst intense attacks ever. I’m still shaky from it. I know its a setback and am trying to be positive but it has upset me so much and am dreading flying ever again. Would appreciate any advice. K x

  86. lorryt Says:

    me again, not a good one so far, tired struggling with the sickness, scary thoughts , beginning to think that im neva gonna get out of this hole.i live with constant pressure from my hubby , and am worried that the kids are gonna be nervous wrecks like me. i promise i wont apologise, but i guess my nerves are triggered easily as im anxious and as the analgy goes, when the tuning fork is vibrating to hit it again would vibrate it even more. so im gonna have a quiet day and try n get some sleep

    i want mikey to win !

  87. lisa Says:

    mikey is sweet but if he does win it should be for the right reasons and not because hes blind.but luke the washer woman my favourite to win!!!.

  88. No More Anxiety Says:

    Welcome Katy and thanks for yopur kind words. On the flight, something similar happened to me once and I just went through it and then built my strength back up. You may not feel like flying at the minute, but when you build your strength back up you will feel different. Its all about letting that particular time go and just moving on from it. This is exactly what I did and my strength and confidence built back up and I saw things completely different within time.

    Don’t over analyze this moment, you felt bad, but nothing happened, just let that moment go and move forward. I felt shaky for a while, but did not let it stop me doing anything and my confidence grew back. I had not been bluffed by a feeling. I could have easy gone down the other road of self pity, hide away…etc…But I did not and the strength and pride I gained from that was invaluable.

  89. lorryt Says:

    im finding it really hard today although i have been quite emotional, i have carried on although i felt awful i still did stuff, guess thats an achievement, THIS IS SOOO HARD. DOEs it really return to normal
    coz at time slike this i cant see how!
    im doubttinh myself arent i , when i shoud be goiugn with the flow. i think i have lost the plot today!
    help me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  90. katie x Says:

    hey all lorry please dont worry you will get through this i promise just be positive it will happen only two months ago i was getting serious scary thoughts about suicide and i cried and cried and thought like you what if my kids are nervous wrecks because my oldest worries already but i came through it and so will you just be patient you know that easier said than done i know but you will be ok…. i dont really get those thoughts now because it dont bother me no more if i do you know what i mean…

    hi katy i had a similar attack last week at a wedding an hour and a half of pure panic in that church but i carried on went threw it my body wanted to run but i didnt and im definately being tested because im going to another tommorow but im not bothered im going to enjoy my day whether i panic or not thats what you must do …take care x

  91. lorryt Says:

    Hi Katie,

    trouble is i get impatient i see how i was 1 year ago , and want to get better coz i feel i am missing out on so much, by saying that i am keeping myself in the cycle aren’t I ?!. My mind pulls in all these silly thoughts and amplifies them sooo much, if its not worrying that ill never get better , its worrying about my hubby leaving me if i dont hurry up and get better, or the kids being nervous wrecks as you said. ITS FORCING IT AGAIN, JUST BY TALKING TO YOU I CAN SEE WHAT IM DOING.GO WITH THE FLOW.



  92. Katy Says:

    Thanku so much for your comments. I think it hit me hard because i had been feeling like my old self and really thought i had cracked it. I had got to the point where i thought i was no longer afraid of the symptoms and thoughts but had forgotten how bad it feels. It lasted the whole 5 hours on the plane. i thought it would pass, but it didnt and i scared myself by thinking my body and mind couldnt cope with it for that long and I would totally lose it. But like you said Paul, nothing happened so i will keep that in mind and get my strength up again. Good luck at the wedding Katie and Lorry at Jimmy Carr, he will have you in stitches! and thank you xx

  93. lorryt Says:

    Hi All

    Jimmy carr was excellent, and i felt ok. Coz i had a late nite, my mind is on the go yet again, countless wild silly irrational unfounded thoughts that im just trying to let flow, but they still get to me. Once i have them the panic comes in,.and off my nerves go. struggling today, but im off to do the race fo life so that will be quite emotional. 3 mile run is probably what i need to burn off the excess adrenelin.

    have a good one all

  94. No More Anxiety Says:

    Katie sorry can you not use text talk please as I have to go through your comments and change them. I have mentioned it on here before, the reason being the blog will get penalised by the search engines for it and it can be hard for others to read.

    Thanks Paul

  95. Katy Says:

    Hi Paul

    When you were suffering, did you still manage to drive? My very first attack happened 6 years ago whilst driving on a motorway with my 2 children in the back. Although I am recovering and starting to accept anxiety I am having difficulty with the driving still. I manage to get about on the back roads sometimes but still after 6 years havent gone on dual or motorways, mainly because i’m afraid of causing an accident. I really miss driving and am a single so being able to get out of the house and go places again would be good for my recovery. Does anyone have any tips?
    Katy x

  96. katie x Says:

    hi all hope youve had a good weekend the wedding was great the rain stayed away and i actually felt better than last week so thats good at a certain point in the day i was getting tired and not finding things funny when people were talking like i had nothing to say because all thats in my life at times is anxiety i felt the low mood coming but i brushed myself down had a word with myself and stayed out till 2 in the morning and i was drunk….like you lorry if i had a late nite my head goes mad all sorts of thoughts come old and new and its harder to cope when youre already tired i panicked all day too was so sick that i had a pain in my chest where i wretched so much awful…. all them thoughts i cant cope i cant feel my arms or legs like youre going to collapse but i know it never happens so just stay positive easier said than done i know…. i keep having one thought alot about self harming id never do it but it gets so intense i have visions of the blade cutting my arm or wrist like i can really feel it happening i think its because i feel so numb at times like that feelingyou want to pinch yourself you know but ill be ok im determined i know not to fight even when i want to…….

    katy as for the driving you have to face the fear go out on the dual when you know it will b quiet like a sunday on your own if your afraid at first with the kids i know your going to feel bad but nothing will happen the anxiety is tricking you and because you dnt like the feeling you stay away but your blocking your recovery youre still feeding the anxiety fear try it and you will feel so great after that you achieved a small step that you will keep doing and get confident once again you will be fine…..

    sorry paul i will try not too…x

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