Comments on: Recovery from Depersonalisation / Derealisation

By: T

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 00:15:14 +0000

I know this is an old post but would like to pitch in. I developed D.P. last year (2011). It took about 5 months to overcome it. How I overcame it, I’m not quite sure because I did overanalyze it everyday. Just out of the blue, my head became clearer and clearer each day. It felt strange to be normal again but was so ecstatic. Exactly one year later, I have it again, not sure how though because I was not going through hard times or any difficult stresses. I am having a difficult time accepting this because it has drastically changed my personality, energy level, and personal thoughts. I went from happy, talkative, fun, to a debbie downer, stays in bed all day, complaining. I also thought that once it goes away, it’s gone for good. I feel mentally weak. I guess I will have to be a little more understanding about it and pretend the strange feelings aren’t there. How can I though? I see and feel it everyday. It’s hard to fake that it’s not there. I know you are right about accepting the D.P. but I just can’t help but notice I’ve become bitter from this…

By: Gigi

Gigi — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 16:51:15 +0000

Hi. This is my first time at this blog. I came here because I googled depersonalization. I have only done this once or twice – researched depersonalization online – and when I have done it it has helped me feel less alone. I really liked the post at the top of the page about acceptance. I believe in acceptance in general, although I don’t think I have a lot of hope for myself with acceptance. At least I do not have a lot of hope for myself when it comes to my symptoms. The problem with my “condition” is that it is SO physical. In addition to having depersonalization and anxiety, I have symptoms that are in my body and that really get in my way. The worst symptom is dizziness. It gets in the way of my doing so many things, including connecting to people. It’s hard to connect to people, even people I am close to, when I feel like I am on a rocky boat and can’t find my footing. Much of my energy goes to managing how I am feeling and trying to just survive the dizziness and I have little left over for what is happening in the moment. It is VERY hard for me to just let the dizziness flow through me and to accept it. I am pretty sure that it is a symptom of my emotional stuff (I have been tested for other things and they have found no other cause for the dizziness) and it does go up and down, but I have rarely been able to change it with anything I do. It just comes and goes. And when I try to sit with it, it is almost impossible. I try to run away from it. I am wondering if there are any others on this blog who have a physical component to their DP that is overwhelming. I saw a reference to someone talking about blurred vision but I couldn’t find the original comment. My dizziness (I don’t know if it is dizziness exactly but that is what I cal it) has been so bad that it has affected my ability to work in any normal job. Fluorescent lights drive me crazy as do small spaces with too much going on in them. I have to do work where I am alone and can control my environment. And my relationships have really suffered, too. I can’t just “be” with people because so much of my energy goes to trying to manage and cope with the dizziness. And of course the dizziness causes more anxiety, which can cause more dizziness! So there you have it. I am a prisoner of my own body and it is hard to see a way out. Some days are better than others for sure, but the symptoms seem to come and go based on things that are happening deep within me and it does not seem to respond to what I think and do on a conscious level. And as the person who wrote the entry at the top of the page said, I definitely worry about it. I suppose I could make a change in how much I worry about it, even if I can’t exactly accept it or be calm about it. Maybe just not think about the bigger picture – like next week and next year and what’s WRONG with me? – but just think about today and know that it is happening today and that I don’t know the future or the how or why and that I just need to do my best today.
Thanks!
Gigi

By: Kay

Kay — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 23:18:20 +0000

Hi, I havnt written in nearly 3 years. In all this time I have been completely ok I am still a worrier but have no anxiety. I want to say thankyou to Paul David cos his book helped me alot. It teaches you that you have the power to to get rid off your anxiety & completely recover. Thankyou !!!!

By: Vanessa

Vanessa — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 20:11:55 +0000

Hi all,

I am new to this blog! i am a 22yr old girl who has been suffering with anxiety and dp for about 3 1/2 months. I read Paul’s book about a month ago and has been soo helpful in giving me peace of mind. My anxiety/panic is hugely reduced and I don’t struggle to go places and my racing thoughts and constant questioning of how to get better are basically gone. However, the dp is still very strong for me and I was hoping someone may have some past experience with this to offer me. It’s a strange symptom as for me it is like I can’t see things as I normally do, or have that emotional connection to my surroundings or the people around me. Paul your information makes total sense to me and has been a huge relief to know that this won’t last forever. I just wanted to know if anyone can relate to this whilst they were going through recovery…. I have a real hyperawareness of dp because of the way I am seeing things and I find myself monitoring if it’s gone or improved etc. The other day for literally 5 minutes a magical thing happened, for a brief moment my surroundings felt 3D again, I felt a burst of reality, things suddenly had and impact on me and I felt a connection to my refection in the mirror. I just wanted to know if this is usual in recovery that sudden moments like that happen and then you go back into the state of dp?? I tried not to react, but that moment of clarity was great evidence to show me this dp really is just a state of mind. Does recovery from dp usually start by having moments like that and does this mean good things to come, possibly more to come?? I have no idea why that moment came, or how, should I try and understand how as a means of getting more? Any stories or advice would be so greatly appreciated!!!!

By: K

Mon, 27 Jun 2011 23:59:45 +0000

Hi Everyone,

@Allison- i feel the sam way. I often wonder if its dp/dr i have or something else. My vision is dimmer and duller and I haven’t seen anyone post these symptoms as symptoms of dp/dr. This is what gives me the most anxiety. Anyway, I feel for you because I feel the same way. Questioning what is normal anymore..

By: Allison

Allison — Mon, 09 May 2011 23:31:12 +0000

Hi Paul,

Lately I have been suffering from the fact that my thoughts are so bizarre and I can feel no peace of mind at all. I feel so strange and I constantly am bewildered that I am still in this state eventhough I know why. Also it feels as though I have no idea how to be the person I once was before I started dealing with anxiety. Is this also depersonalization? I have no idea how to be normal anymore or even think of normal things and it is killing me. If anyone has any advice on this or has felt this way please let me know because it is my last symptom to go.

By: Shortyroro

Shortyroro — Mon, 09 May 2011 00:55:42 +0000

Hi Paul, I have had anxiety and DP for 5 months now and I was wondering if it is common to completely lose hope in yourself and feel like your entire existence is unreal or just a dream. My whole anxiety started because I started thinking I was stuck in a dream and from there it has led to panic attacks, depression, anxiety, and DP/DR. Lately, I have only really been dealing with DP/DR, but I feel like I have completely lost all hope in believing this is my life. At the beginning, I still felt hope that I would get better, but now I do not even believe that I am really here and that I am not living in a dream. Is this common? I hope so.

By: Carly

Carly — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 18:21:41 +0000

Hi, am new to this blog but it has given me a lot of hope. I recently purchased Paul’s book which has helped a great deal, so much so I have recommended it to a couple of others. I just have a few little niggles I need clearing up from anyone ‘in the know’ so to speak. I have had constant DP for 8 weeks now, I even rememeber the date it came and didn’t go! Is it common for it to be a constant thing? There are days when I feel positive and think ’sod this, I’m not going to let it ruin my day’ and off I go but then I have days where it is so thick I feel even more exhausted by it all and I question if this is REALLY anxiety? I find it is worse if I am overtired, I feel almost ‘further away’ if that makes sense!? I also have moments where I think what if I can never be truly accepting of this and I’ll miss the boat in terms of recovery?? Arrgghh!

I am 36 weeks pregnant with my 4th child and I have gestational diabetes so the exhaustion is here to stay for a good few weeks yet and I am accepting of that. I had an intense period of stress and illness in the run up to Christmas and I turned into a gibbering wreck, couldn’t let my partner out of my sight, had to send my children to their Grandmothers for a month, couldn’t drive, go anywhere, unable to run our business properly, it was horrendous! Terrible thoughts of dread, fear of going crazy, death, everything. I was so frightened that I had become afraid of my own body and mind! Just reading Pauls book has made me feel so much better but it’s the DP that freaks me out the most, I even question whether it IS actually DP and not something else….so to summarise I just need to know that CONSTANT DP is/can be part and parcel of anxiety and also one other thing, since the DP descended on me I have also had a very strange taste in my mouth and everything also smells of this ‘taste/smell….it’s not metallic (common in pregnancy) but more of a nasty mince and onion pie!!!! I’m not weird -honest!!! Thanks all x

By: Alex

Alex — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 00:14:24 +0000

First, thanks to all of you that have “escaped” the DR and made the effort to still post here about your road to getting better.

Second, I want to chime in and say that it is comforting to see that Im not the only one suffering from this. The acceptment/distraction of focus method seems very likely to work and I am going to give it a chance.

DR feels like losing a bit of your soul. Eveything is meaningless. I used to have high anxiety at times. Then suddenly the anxiety went away, and I started to feel unreal. I think that some psychological trauma events triggered this, combined with some pot smoking.

Sometimes I feel very guilty for the pot smoking. I really thought it was “bad” but not more bad than alcohol.

I am also a person that has a very “hypocondrial” disposition, so that I search for what is wrong. This focus is not very beneficial (to say the least) when dealing with dp. I would not say that it is the cause of DP, but it is certainly a trait that maintans the condition. One need to focus on other things for it to go away.

What gives me hope to become normal again (this is the only thing i want in my life right now) is that i sometimes forget the DP when i do exciting stuff. When i do something new that is kinda scary.

THere seemes to be a inverted relationship between level of anxiety, and DP for me. The less i feel, the more DP. The more i feel, the less DP.

Also I think that victimized thinking, passivity, and avoidance of the challenges in life creates or maintains DP.

Again, thanks for posting your positive stories.

By: Amy somerset

Amy somerset — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 17:41:58 +0000

Hi all, I’ve just come across the post I wrote in august 09 ^^ I know I wrote it but it seems unfamiliar but familiar at the same time? It’s very strange….. When I wrote that post I did get better, I concentrated on other things… Being with friends, making sure I hot out of the house once a day, eating propally and reading good books, ones that have good endings, eventually I came out of the dr/dp state, it’s funny because you don’t even realise at first, you suddenly realise that you have been fine for a while and can’t believe that you even felt like that……. It’s a great feeling

Unfortuantly I’m having another bad patch with derealisation, had it for a few months, it’s hard to think you will recover and come out of this but you do! Even I can’t believe that I will make it at the moment but I know deep down that I defiantly will! Just accept it for what it is, don’t let it scare you, relax and spend time with the people you love and try do things u enjoy or used to before you felt like this….. Someone once said to me. ” if you had a broken leg, you would need to rest it and give it time to heal ” it’s the same with an over tired mind… It needs a break from your worrying and obsessing over it! Trust me if I can get through this, anyone can, take care x