Off topic post, just a few bits and bobs!

Firstly I have to say its good to get back to the blog. The forum did not work out for various reasons and the best thing to do was close it before it grew too big. Just seeing people’s post and comments below and the feedback I have had I think I did the right thing.

O.k I hope everyone had a good bank holiday. I went out today to a pub next to Manchester airport. It backs on to the runway and you can see all the planes take off and come in. They have a few things going on, bouncy castles for kids, a mini park, food and music. Its also where I met my partner for the first time a few years back so call me a bit of a romantic : ) Then stopped we off for something to eat and I went up a belt size with steak pie, chips and my big weakness……Cider!

Talking of food and beer I recently decided to look after myself better. I have done a month now and feel so, so much better. I got into a rut of drinking and eating far too much, eating all the wrong things, sleeping too much, not excercising..etc…etc…I have now got my running shoes back on and cut my drinking down to once a week and then just a few pints. I also invested in a fruity machine…Wow these are brillaint to start the morning off, just fill it with fruit and then some orange juice or similar and then withing two minutes they are done. I have one every morning and with the cutting down of beer, bad foods and more exercise I feel 100% more healthy. I just thought I will lose a bit and gain so much by making some changes. Lets just see if my will power holds out : )

Just one more thing on looking after myself. I have a full body massage or an indian head massage once a week or at least as much as I can afford. This is my de-stress time. I know they can be expensive, but if anyone can afford one from time to time I would recommend one. I feel great for the rest of the day and can’t wait for my next. All this was alien to me before, but I guess after abusing my body, which brought led to me first suffering with anxiety, I now try and look after it and don’t take my health and well being for granted like I once did.

Well that’s me, I think its good to just go off topic from time to time. Also I like to post quality and not quantity, so I do wait until I have something to say, sometimes its what people comment on or something that keeps coming up.

Hope everyone is well

Paul

59 Responses to “Off topic post, just a few bits and bobs!”

  1. Candie Says:

    Sounds Like you had a good bank holiday Paul!

    I went away for the day to Bridlington, a little seaside resort close to Hull. Me and my fiance have been for weekends away there a few times.. so it made me think how much i didnt appreciate the good times before i developed anxiety!! It was nice to get out and have some fresh air though, it has helped clear my head a bit… my ice cream was nice too 😀 yum!

    I went past a farm my parents used to own when i was a kid too, i felt real emotional as it braught back some good memories.. it was weird though as it looks a lot smaller then what i remembered. Some of the best days of my life happened when i lived ther, again i just wish i new how lucky i was at the time!

    I just know for a fact i am going to appreciate life more in the future, if one good thing has come from my anxiety it is that i dont take anything for granted now!

  2. Freddy Says:

    Hey all

    just wanted to post about how Im feeling little improvements here and there.

    I dont have this nagging thought anymore that said : ‘you smoked a few years ago… that’s why you’re like this, and its a permanent thing’

    Its such a relief not to bump into the thought more than once or twice a day. But more importantly I honestly dont care if the thought comes up. I really made an effort some months ago at letting the thought be, that now it hasnt got the same impact anymore, and it’s just a memory of what I used to believe was true.

    Now, I wanted to ask people how they manage to trust in their own abilities to do what has to be done. Ive always been very hard on myself for years, and always had to study way over the top since I didnt trust myself to succeed. Just wondering how people put faith in themselves (im not religious, so Ive never had much faith in anything)

    On a lighter note… does anyone follow the red bull air race ? this is an event that makes me so happy and alive, while not caring too much about how I feel. To those of you in England, you should definetely check it out when it comes to London on the 2nd of august :)

  3. No More Anxiety Says:

    Bridlington Candie, I went there last year. My dad has a caravan in a place called stamford bridge. He told me how great it was and would I like to stay there for a week. I agreed and apart from 3 pubs and a butchers and a chippy, there is very little there….Hence coming back after 4 days…lol

    But I totally agree how the fresh air and doing something, can really blow the cobwebs away and refresh you. Totally agree about not taking things for granted, something trivial may happen to a friend or family member and they stress out over it and I think, pffft you don’t know what a problem is. I appreciate everything now, I am a lot nicer to everyone I meet, little things don’t bother me and more than anything I realise whats important, my health, family and friends. Like you say you do change your whole outlook on things. Just being able to go out and hold a conversation and laugh because you want to and not have to act your way through the day was such a breakthrough for me.

    Frederic, I watch the airbull race a lot on t.v and enjoy it, very skillful people. Trouble is Londons a bit far for me, I will have to stick to watching the big ones take off and land from pub car parks : )

    Paul

  4. Candie Says:

    lol there is loads ther paul, it is like a mini blackpool. Maybe you didnt go into the centre, thats where i go. Its got a beach, about 10 amusements, boat trips, a funfair, a spa, etc..

  5. Beth Says:

    I just received this from a newsletter and thought that you all might enjoy these inspirational quotes. Sorry I can’t comment on your posts….I’m in the US and sometimes I just guess at watch you’re talking about. Kinda funny! But we are having beautiful spring weather.

    Beth I have had to take the link out as it all leads to paying for a C.D set for loads of dollars, they do this a lot by giving you a free item and then you have to leave your details including email address, also you get directed to a sales page upon doing this. Also in time you will then get bombarded with special offers to be ‘Finally anxiety free’ blah…blah. If you want to pass the book on with the quotes then feel free or list a few here, but I wont and can’t endorse sites like this. I am sure you are innocent , but what a lot of people do is affiliate with these sites, so they get half the money and then go on forums and blogs promoting them for their own gain, so no links like this will ever be allowed. Links to free resources that are beneficial to people are fine.

    Hope you understand.

    Paul

  6. Beth Says:

    Sorry, no harm intended. Didn’t really think about the links to the site. Maybe I can share some or others on this blog can share theirs. You just never know which words will be the ones that “work”.

  7. No More Anxiety Says:

    No offence taken Beth at all, I just have to be careful and do what’s best for everyone on here. Share away that’s a good idea, I had a few sayings that got me through some difficult times.

    Paul

  8. Dan Says:

    Just thought i’d pop by to check out some recent blogs. I haven’t visited for a while as things have been going so well, but I like to keep up to date with my knowledge on the subject as I think the limits are endless.

    Anxiety just seems to not matter to me anymore, if for whatever reason I feel a wave of anxiety I just let whatever happen to me and I have definately had many rewards during recovery. At the moments when we are feeling at our worst we have a choice, either (a) make ourselves worse by worrying, fighting, thinking our way out, or (b) letting whatever happen to us and with a small amount of time we’re fine again.

    Regarding what paul said about little things not bothering him anymore, I have realised how much I have worried in my life about silly insignificant things. If somebody spills a pint down your new jeans, ahh its slightly annoying but it really doesn’t matter. It starts raining as soon as you’ve put the washing out …bummer, but at the end of the day these things happen. This is my new attitude to many aspects of life, and the best thing is I don’t have to try, it’s coming naturally!

    Another point i’d like to mention is that recently my girlfriend has been really stressed about exams and revision and has been losing sleep through stress and worry. One day she said to me, ‘I’m lost, whatever I try to do I just can’t get to sleep’. So I said to her, don’t try to get to sleep, just let everything go & if u sleep well then great & if you don’t you don’t. She couldn’t believe that something as simple as ‘not doing anything’ had eased her sleeping troubles. It felt strange to be the teacher instead of the pupil on anxiety, haha!

    Keep up the good work paul!!

    Many thanks

    Dan

  9. No More Anxiety Says:

    Great post that Dan, very good and some very wise words there. I love it when someone comes back and lets us know how well they are doing.

    Do pop back from time to time, positive storys do helps others.

    Paul

  10. candie Says:

    Yea, its great to hear from people that are recovering.. really inspiring 😀

  11. Freddy Says:

    How do others put faith in themselves to get through these tough times ?

    I struggle to really believe in my own body’s ability to regain balance.

  12. No More Anxiety Says:

    Freddy in my opinion through all your posts now and in the past you have in my opinion one fatal flaw and that’s impatience. You are not allowing yourself to go through the bad times to reach peace, you are forever questioning all symptoms, hoping and waiting for them tyo leave you, watching yourself to a certain degree. I once read a statement and it was so true, while you still complain about how you are feeling then you are not accepting. You still have the attitude of wanting this awful thing to go away, almost putting pressure on yourself for it to happen. You need to learn to let go of all these insecurities about getting better and moving forward. I feel you are demanding progress and getting frustrated when it does not happen, questioning things all over again, I went through this also and eventually learnt that it was my jailer and I just got on with my day however I felt, it became uninmortant how I felt.

    What you saying in your statement above is, why am I not better by now.

    Here is an email I received today from someone who bought my book last year to prove the point.

    I would just like to say I gained a great deal from reading your book especially in the initial stages of this challange as initially we have no idea what’s going on it really helped put the brakes on. I have been dealing with anxiety or its symptoms for right at a year and am almost out of it. I’ve had them all the crazy thoughts the vision problems emotional nothingness and unreality and too many to more. I have a few lingering symptoms of uneasyness and of checking in on myself which is an obssesion or habit like you said that makes one feel “not like themselves or unreal” which was one of the things that was hardest for me but if you let it go it will just a shift in focus. I am proof like you one can get back to normal even the adjustment back to normal can feel a bit strange too but acceptance is the key and this is eventually learned too even if you can’t do it at first. I know now just stepping away from the whole subject is a good thing and get back to living, if people could really understand this they would get better far sooner an interesting process to say the least. Anyway thanks to you and others I am getting back to who I am and trying to get on with things, like you said step away from anxiety and the research of it because this can entrench you if your not careful. Hang in there people you will get through it and start doing things you love again! Thanks again Paul for your story and advice it’s been a blessing.

    William

  13. Ben Says:

    The more I consider the sensation people label ‘anxiety’, and the more I read on here, the more I am convinced that it is basically a result of people (myself included) paying far too much attention to their thoughts. This isn’t to belittle the problem at all, because I have been through it and understand what it can be like. It is also understandable, because I am of the belief that contemporary western culture puts far too much emphasis on logic, reasoning and science and not enough on intuition and inner feeling.

    I would say I have been 99% free of my symptoms for some months, and this was after a protracted period of severe distress last year. The worst thing I experienced was the sensation that I was permanently trapped in my own consciousness, as if I was in a prison of some kind. The funny thing is, yesterday I read a very interesting article by Charlie Brooker in the Guardian newspaper. I won’t post a link but you will find it easily by going to the guardian website and searching for ‘charlie brooker’. The gist is that everybody, or at least a large number of people, experience this sensation; the difference is they do not dwell on it and turn it over in their heads thinking there must be something wrong with them.

    I say 99% free because even now I get flashes of it; these are almost always a result of considering existential concepts/deep questioning of things rather than everyday trials and tribulations. However, over the course of the last few months, i have learnt to not take my thoughts too seriously – when I let things flow in and out like this, I always end up distracting myself and the feeling passes. Even if this doesn’t work, I do some exercise and failing that, meditate for 5-10 mins. The important thing is, it always passes.

    To put things in perspective, I put it like this – can anybody on here think back to, say, 4 years ago and remember a specific thing that they were thinking about at any given moment? I guarantee that nobody can. Instead we remember external events, and relive the emotions we felt as a result of those events – in terms of the positives, a good afternoon spent with friends, your first date what that girl (or guy). This highlights for me how much overemphasis we put on ‘state of mind’. What you are thinking about does not matter as much as you think it does. Your thoughts do not create the ‘now’, or the ‘then’ that you will remember, and they are not ‘you’. I think it is harder to maintain this kind of perspective if you are an intelligent, analytical person, which I suspect most anxiety sufferers are, and it takes practice, which relates to the comment Paul made earlier about patience.

    In short, I reckon the idea is to accept that these feelings of mental unease will always pop up and not to attribute too much importance to them. I read somewhere that many scientists consider them to be part of an ancient survival mechanism from our instinctive, primordial days as a species, when life was not as safe and comfortable as it is now, and we have surplus adrenalin which can manifest itself in the form of irrational thoughts. The good thing is, if you want to burn it off you can just go for a run round the park, and not be chased by wolves or sabre toothed tigers.

    B

  14. Jeff Says:

    Interesting comments Ben. I understand completely what your talking about, although understanding and letting go are very different things for me. It is a difficult habit to break. I just traveled on a business trip and spent the day sitting in a small conference room with 1/2 dozen business associates. Most of the day I was “in and out” of my own thoughts. When the business topic got interesting I was “out but as soon as there was a break in the action my thoughts would go inward which is so frustrating! The funny thing is I know it’s just anxiety causing this so I’m not fearful but I’d like to just be able to let go. Freddy the only thing we see here in the States on the Red Bull race is a very funny commercial they put together from it. Looks like a blast!

  15. JoeyLowtown Says:

    Hey, I went to scarborough for a week long geography feild trip when I was in yr 10. Spent the whole week hanging round with some girls from Bridlington who latched onto us when we were doing a traffic count. Scalby school for girls! They were doing one on the opposite side of the road.

    Ive been drinking and eating badly a bit recently aswell. Haven’t been training in the gym as much recently either. Its fishing weather and there’s been so many weddings and christenings to attend. The beer has been flowing! Anyways im feeling ok, just tired with work etc. Hope everyone is good!

    My mum is trained in Indian Head Massage, but ive never let her do it on me! haha

  16. Nicole Says:

    Hi Everyone,
    I have a feeling that I will really start to make strides when I can feel an inner sense of strength and knowing that I will be fine. My problems start when I read about other people with anxiety who talk about having a breakdown or if this is referenced in the news or on t.v. I think that this is my biggest fear that rears its head when I am experiencing high anxiety. Does anyone have some advice as to how I can diffuse these worries?
    You are all so positive and helpful!
    Nicole

  17. Anthony Says:

    Ben, your post really caught my eye. I haven’t felt anxiety symptoms going on two months now. But I still have thoughts, basically brought on by memory or habit. My thoughts take me out of the “now,” analyzing the past, thinking about the future, etc. I just finished reading Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now,” and that book relates so much to my anxiety. I just wish sometimes I could erase my anxiety problems in the past from my mind forever. If I could do that, my self-consciousness would be gone.

  18. JR Says:

    this summer is going to be fun…we’re really going to go to the lake a lot since last summer in much of the states was a washout. i’m also going to teach my wife to play golf which will be challenging and fun (she’s really doing well already)…would love to play golf in england or europe sometime with the links style. anyone have some connections to play st. andrews…haha

  19. Freddy Says:

    Thanks for the feedback Paul.

    I guess I still find symptoms a nuisance. And I have tried to force myself to not be annoyed by them, but this hasn’t proved very successful.

    meditation seems to be able to help me to let go of thoughts.

  20. No More Anxiety Says:

    Freddie its o.k to be annoyed by them, as long as you don’t go around trying to rid yourself of them, worry, obsess.

  21. candie Says:

    The weather has been lovely the past few days hasnt it! I think im gonna go lay out ther inabout an hour 😀

    Can anyone elaborate on meditation? I would like to try this to clear and refresh my mind from time to time… I just have no idea where to start or what to do!

  22. Ben Says:

    candie: this is a simple meditation technique and the one I use. You don’t need to be religious in any way (I am not), and you don’t have to ‘believe’ it is going to work for it to have an effect.

    1. Find somewhere quiet – anywhere will do, outside or inside.

    2. Posture is unimportant other than that you should be sitting upright and your spine must be straight, with your eyes closed.

    3. The basic idea is that you have a ‘third eye’ in the very centre of your forehead that is a powerful ‘chakra’ or energy base (don’t be put off by slightly corny new-ageisms like this – I was at first but believe me there is something in it). The trick is to try and focus your consciousness on that point. It isn’t easy to do this at first so a good way to do it is to breathe slowly in and out through your nose, concentrating on the sensation of the breath going in and out. With your attention on the sensation of breathing, you won’t be thinking about anything else.

    You WILL keep getting distracted by your thoughts during this time – everybody is – this isn’t important. I can’t really go more than 5 or 6 breaths without being distracted somehow. When this happens just keep bringing your attention back to the sensation of the breathing. Just keep doing that for 5-10 minutes or more if you have time.

    Thats it!

    All it basically does is calm your head down really, which is very useful and you may notice a (minor) difference straight away. Also important is to keep it up – don’t just do it for a month and then stop, the longer you meditate regularly the more accentuated the benefits are.

    hope that helps….

    Anthony – I have heard of the Power of Now and I avoided reading it, because the central argument, while a good one, is effectively common sense and I think such things can be slightly over-intellectualised leading to more analysis – which is how we all got here in the first place! Also I don’t think there’s anything at all wrong with thinking about and planning for the future – that’s what hope is for example – but I think the problems come when you create potential situations in your mind and then worry about them before they have even happened. Likewise remembering the past is how you retain a sense of identity, so there’s nothing wrong with that either – as long as you’re not dwelling on it…. it’s all about balance i.m.o, the maintenance of which is easier said than done of course…

  23. candie Says:

    Thanks Anthony, i might give it a go on a night, and in a morning :)
    I did try googling it, but ther was so much i got confused! You gave a great explanation and i will let you know how i get on with it 😀

  24. candie Says:

    Lol, i mean thanks Ben! Got the posts mixed up :p

  25. Anthony Says:

    Damnit, I wanted to get credit that that meditation stuff! lol

  26. JoeyLowtown Says:

    Dunno about the rest of us, but this weather is lifting my spirit no end! I have a nice balcony on my flat that I can sit out on, its like being on holiday at the mo! Although the view is a bus stop and the main ring road through Liverpool!

    I have trouble also with the memory of anxiety, but its just another thought that should be tackled the same way!

  27. candie Says:

    Yea the weather is lovely! I have been out in it most the day, and intend to tomorrow too!

    I got slight sun burn, so me and my fiances sister broke open some omega 3 capsules and spread it on our sunburn to stop the skin peeling later. I checked if they smelt like fish (the oil comes from fish) and they smelt fine, few hours later we absoloutely wreek of fish! Iv had a bath and i can still smell it slightly! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

  28. Rick Says:

    Can anyone smell something fishy???? LOL

  29. Dave Says:

    Just wanted to add a few things to the discussion:

    Ben, I agree with a lot of what you have said. I don’t feel like I am out of the woods yet as far as this crisis is concerned, but I have started a meditation routine of 20-30 minutes a day, hopefully 5 times a week, and it is helping me to realize things as well. I also noticed that what seemed impossible at first, that is to achieve an actual moment of stillness, I have been able to begin to achieve, and manage to sit in the stillness for longer, with practice. There are so many different ways to meditate, and my practice mostly mirrors yours, but what I found helped me most was mentally repeating the mantra “now” while breathing in. This helps me to focus on how this breath that I am breathing in, is happening right now, in the present. After some breaths, I begin to feel like I am deeper and more comfortably “sitting” in my mind, and enjoying that, instead of “thinking thoughts”. It has only lasted me at the most 4 or 5 minutes yet, but hopefully this can grow.

    Something else I’d like to add, is that this blog really feels like a special place. It’s the only place on the internet that I will read from other “sufferers” because most other places are like the “inmates running the asylum”. Everyone is panicky and reading other’s problems only make you more nervous. But the dialog here is especially positive and friendly, and the “comment” format is enjoyable as well. Also tons of props to Paul for sticking around and helping this community. What you are doing is really something special for us and helps give us hope, which as you might know can be a very scarce commodity.

  30. candie Says:

    Rick 😮 I am pleased to let you know that the smell has subsided!!! lol

  31. Dave Says:

    Also about what you said Anthony: “I wish I could erase my memories of anxiety in the past”…

    I have found myself thinking that same thought. Something I’ve been thinking lately is that perhaps the first panic attack you go through, is a traumatic experience itself. I know for months afterwards, not a day went by that I didn’t remember the panic attack. That one night literally changed my life forever. Now, 2 years later I am struggling again, and i’m hoping that i’m not creating more traumatic memories. But If Paul could suffer for 10 years and not be traumatized, then perhaps I’m wrong.

  32. candie Says:

    Dave, anthony.. you should look up the amygdala, its a part of the brain responsible for the memory of anxiety etc. As soon as i understood how it worked, i stopped wishing that i could erase the memory.. and it sorta fades itself.

    If you do decide to research it, dont be fooled by the linden method, although his research is right about the amygdala, his methods of getting rid of anxiety are ridiculous from what iv read!

    Ok, on a lighter note. I am absoloutely baked! The weather is lovely here in Hull, i have spent the past two days sun bathing. I have pale skin so now i look like a bit of a lobster! I think i have heat stroke too, feel sick and dizzy.. but anxiety wise i feel great. Its still here, but today i just dont see it as the enemy.. 😀

  33. Nicole Says:

    Hi Candie,
    I love reading your posts. I see alot of similarities between my experience and yours and I always feel better after reading how positive and honest you are. Would you mind explaining your understanding of the amygdala and how it helped you deal with those nasty anxiety memories?
    I think your intertpretation would be easier to understand. If it is too much of a hassle, not to worry I can certainly look it up on my own.
    Thanks!
    Nicole

  34. Freddy Says:

    hey dave

    so funny how you mentioned that other places are like inmates running the asylum !

  35. Candie Says:

    Sure Nicole :)

    Well the amygdala is a part of the brain responsible for recording our anxious memories and reactions. So say i was at college had a lot of adrenaline swimming around my body, and i felt really anxious.. then i had a panic attack.

    So next time when i was at college i panicked again, as the memory of college activated the amygdala which then prepared my body for the same ‘false danger’ as last time. Even though it wasn’t college that caused the panic, it would simply be too much adrenaline.

    The same go’s for irrational thoughts, and it is why they stick. If i feel really anxious, ther will be loads of adrenalin swimming around my body.. as paul says adrenalin finds a release in odd, obsessive thoughts. So for example, say i feel really anxious, and im peeling potatos.. and a thought comes up about attacking someone with the knife. Well because of all the adrenaline i may panic about the thought, and it will stick. So then when i see a knife again the amygdala will cause the same wave of fear.

    By knowing this i understood that i had no control over the fear or adrenalin. It was nothing to do with the thought, knife or college, it was the adrenalin preparing my body for a fearful situation, which wasnt really there.

    But as Paul says we have no control over the first fear, but if we apply our knowledge about why this has happened.. we can avoid a second fear. By accepting and acknowledging that anxiety is by no means rational in anyway, and that we have no control over it.. our nerves will heal- which means they wont release adrenaline for no reason or silly reasons such as a door slamming. Memories fade, and the amygdala becomes reconditioned not to react to the situations or thoughts we found ourself in when the adrenaline happened to be around.

    Knowing this stopped all my ponderng around in my head, trying to figure out what caused the adrenaline.. when infact it was going to come anyway.. i was just adding to it as i didnt understand- prlonging my fear and worsening my anxiety.

    I hope that makes sense to you, i understand it myself but im not sure if i have worded it well!

  36. lisa Says:

    hi nice to see everyone doing well .iv got a setback off my own at the moment but will only make me stronger just letting it be and going with the flow, neighbours from hell who needs them eh!!!im like you candy red as a lobster im fair skinned so it just burns me. alot of people are trying to get rid of memories leave them there they fade with time we all have good and bad memories so your fighting to get rid of them causing more tension and worry just leave them there invite them all in thats how they fade. :-)

  37. candie Says:

    Lol i am a natural red head so i am very pastey lisa, im paying for it now as my skin feels like a leather jacket and stings like mad!!

    Yea memories do fade on there own if you leave them be and dont pay them attention. I am an ‘information gatherer’ though so i couldnt resist needing to know why! Now i know though it is easier for me to pass a lot of my repeated anxiety of as nothing more then memory. 😀

  38. candie Says:

    Ok, i thought i would post a little pet hate of mine… SUNDAYS!! Well on a sunday i am left to my own devices all day, with nothing to do as my fiance is out playing snooker all day. So i usually end up doing college work, like today! I would go outside and sunbath but as i have previously moaned about; i have sun burn. :( Also my fiance pointed out if i went out there sunbathing looking like this i would frighten the neighbours… what a loving fiance i have haha

    Back to itching my sunburn and wandering around like a big greasy E45 monster me thinks!

  39. lisa Says:

    hey candie 2 red heads together on this blog hehe…you didnt look red on your pics .iv dyed mine blonde once hated it so iv stuck to my own now lol… you must be sore with all the sun i just do half an hour now then come in. i used to battle with it all and think why wont they go then just let them be it is eay isnt it. your boyfriend sounds a great help with some of your blogs iv read my hubby is ,its great to have support even though they dont understand but they want too,i couldnt ask for a nicer bloke! the kids are filling water bombs up its still hot here so think il go and join them :-)

  40. lisa Says:

    just noticed missed the s out of easy sorry haha.

  41. candie Says:

    haha, im a natural red head but have dyed it black for five years now. Debating going back red as i have to pile on the make-up to get a darker skin tone and it isnt a good look for the summer! I am thinking of just going with what i have, natural pale skin and fair hair… although i think i suit dark her well.

    Yea my fiance is understanding, some of the thoughts iv told him iv had.. anyone else would of had me commited but i explained how anxiety is and he knows im not weird.. and they are all an ofshoot of anxiety. I have learnt to be careful what i tell people from now on though, as some people are ignorant and dont understand and tend to look at me like im nuts!

    I supose now i know im not going nuts i dont feel like i have to justify myself and my thoughts to others.

    Water bombs, the fun i have had with them when i was younger!

  42. lisa Says:

    yeah alot of people dont understand and yes your NOT going nuts, and you dont have to justify yourself to anybody sod them i say oops sorry :-) my water bill will be sky high after today but what the heck its only water and the kids are only young once…my sisters used to take the mick out of my hair as i was the only red head but when they all grew up they all dyed theirs my colour haha now they have to colour theirs to cover their grey bits except my younger sister shes fab.we wont go grey candie we will be all white…scary:-)

  43. Nicole Says:

    Thanks Candie,
    You certainly are an information gatherer! That was a terrific explanation and it helped explain why I sometimes have anxiety pop up out of the blue and I can’t figure out why it has come or where it has come from.
    I think that I am an information gatherer too and it can sometimes really help but I also think that it has held me back from progessing as I will read about other conditions or experiences that I was not aware of and then I start to worry about these things happening to me. All of that self absorption is not a healthy thing. I have made a real effort in the past two weeks to try and step back from my anxiety studies and I have to say that I do feel more centered. With the exception of this blog of course!
    Thanks again for helping out, your contributions here are really helpful.
    Nicole

  44. Candie Says:

    Lol lisa, i never thought that i would have white hair.. we will have to get a blue rinse or somet to liven it up a bit! Yea, after reading Pauls book i dont feel the need to justify my anxiety to people.. in a way having ther ‘aproval’ was just me convincing myself i was fine.. but clearly i wasnt!

    Your welcome nicole, knowing that has helped me understand why certain thoughts and situations make me more anxious.. so i stopped analysing and trying to figure things out.

    Yea i do agree that being an information gatherer can also keep us in the cycle of anxiety. I stay clear of certain websites now… and i only read information that supports what i have learnt from Paul.. if it doesnt then i disregard it. Like what i said about the amygdala, knowing what i do about it makes it easier to accept thoughts and situations.

  45. Dave Says:

    Information Gathering is terrible!!!

    I think this whole thing started for me honestly, because of it. I don’t know if you’ve heard of “yahoo answers”, but I posted something there when I was first getting very anxious, and someone responded that I had probably done permanent damage to myself and could be stuck in this condition for a long time… as you can imagine all that did was make me panic more.

  46. lisa Says:

    hey candie we will have to ask phyllis pearce who used to be in coranation street where she gets her blue rinses from haha…, you were up early dave!!:-)

  47. Beth Says:

    Just want to say thanks for the great explanation earlier (Candie). It really helped me yesterday when I had to go out for a Mother’s day brunch and was feeling particularly anxious. My mom is visiting, and obviously she must be a source of anxiety for me, because I have had a rough couple of days…of course just trying to put on a happy face like nothing is wrong. Can’t seem to relax, sometimes I just feel like I would like to crawl out of my skin. Every so often I sneek into the office and hop on the blog to get some inspiration…thanks to all. All advice is appreciated.

  48. Candie Says:

    Your welcome Beth, glad it helped. Sometimes we can feel more on edge around certain people.. i am the same! I wouldnt ever say they are the cause of my anxiety, but i would deffinetly say some abrupt people can really put me on edge!

    Ha Ha lisa, we can be the blue rinse bregade! That is what my neice calls old ladies.. made me laugh when she said it lol

  49. lisa Says:

    lol..candie i like it :-)

  50. Rick Says:

    ok it less than a week till my holiday and im really nervous didnt sleep well at all last night. I no il be fine just got to get there first, any tips anyone. Also i keep waking in my sleep but i carnt move like im paralised and short of breath very strange and scary but it only lasts a few seconds maybe 20 something. Just need to no if its just one of them things. Any sugestions would be apprieciated.
    Thanks all
    Rick

  51. Candie Says:

    I have had that before too rick, its like my mind was awake and aware but my body was asleep lol. I think its just anxety to be honest.

  52. lisa Says:

    youv lots of worries about going on holiday by the sounds rick,will i be ok,what if thoughts you need to let them go and just go thats what is causing your short of breath feeling strange and scaring you.all anxiety again.it does say in pauls book so re read to refesh your memory.like i said before to you once your on the way youl have plenty to focus on,go with the flow let thoughts and feelings come and just go,hard i no i rick but its like paul said negative thoughts and feelings holding you back let them go.have a lovely holiday and post when you get back let us all no how your holiday went and dont forget the duty free”s for us all..lol…

  53. Rick Says:

    Thankyou both Lisa and Candie
    im just finding it hard to just let go at the mo, i no once im there il be fine, just got to get on with things…. Taking orders for the old duty free… Any oozo anyone haha..

  54. lisa Says:

    il have peach schnappes n lemonade cheers rick.dont try n let go just let it come have a fab holiday where is it your going??

  55. JR Says:

    i don’t know if this will help you or not rick but i’ve really felt the difference between letting the feeling and thoughts come with no restraint and leave when they want and all the while not carry what others think of you or not caring if you act strange at times…when the thoughts about the trip come just let them come, who cares it just a thought…when the feelings come let yourself feel bad and don’t try to make them stop…its ok to feel like this, remember that

  56. Rick Says:

    Thanks JR.
    Im going to a place called Santorini in Greece…

  57. lisa Says:

    well have a fab time and post when you get back.i also think buying wills book will help you,i bought the ebook yesterday it explains thoughts thinking and anxiety very well .im onyl half way through but would recommend it to anyone. :-)

  58. lisa Says:

    oops forgot a comma..lol

  59. Imogen Says:

    I have just read Beths post from 7th May and have to say I totally agree with her. I started suffering from anxiety and panic attacks only about 3 months ago and books like Claire Weekes and this website have helped me more or less totally overcome them….

    Because as Beth quite righlty said, all that we are doing is tuning into our over active imagination – which has probably always been there and popped various thoughts into our mind – but in the past we’ve always ignored them. It’s as if once you have suffered from anxiety you listen to every negative thought and then question why its there and why it won’t go away – when if we just ignore it, it actually does goes away.

    I think what i’m trying to say to give some help and support to people (I want you all to know that whilst i have only suffered for what may seem a short period of time – it was the most fightening time of my life) is to try not to over analyse everything, question every thought, or worry what’s wrong with you. There is actually nothing wrong with any of us – we’re all human and naturally experience thoughts, feelings, moods…..just accept them and try not to question then as being weird – its normal.

    Sometimes we spend too long thinking about these intagible feelings, instead of focusing on the external positive things in our life that will help us to ignore the ‘random’ negative emotions which will naturally pop up from time to time.

    Maybe that’s why i managed to overcome my fears and feel back to normal?

    I hope i haven’t come across as patronising or belittling anything anyone feels or us going through – believe me, I understand. It’s just reading some posts started to make me feel like i was helpling myself go back to the place i was in and I wanted to offer something positive which helped me and my battle.

    xx

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