Comments on: Don’t fight to be right! http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2008/04/19/28/ Anxiety no more Helping sufferers overcome anxiety and panic issues Thu, 17 May 2012 16:47:41 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: vinci http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2008/04/19/28/#comment-6408 vinci Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:38:26 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=28#comment-6408 Paul, I want to say that your book really helped me in understanding anxiety better. One thing that I've noticed lately though is that whenever I let go, even if I feel myself better, afterwards, when I think better, I have this strange feeling that maybe I let myself to go too much? I have the feeling as if maybe I am not that much in control. When I am anxious, strangely I feel that I am in control and I have a good perspective over myself. But when I think I am not anxious, then I begin to wonder if it won't be better to have more control over myself? Or is it the anxiety playing its tricks again, by making me turn my attention over myself again? Thanks for your help again! This site is great and I am sure very helpful for lots of people, me included! Paul, I want to say that your book really helped me in understanding anxiety better. One thing that I’ve noticed lately though is that whenever I let go, even if I feel myself better, afterwards, when I think better, I have this strange feeling that maybe I let myself to go too much? I have the feeling as if maybe I am not that much in control. When I am anxious, strangely I feel that I am in control and I have a good perspective over myself. But when I think I am not anxious, then I begin to wonder if it won’t be better to have more control over myself? Or is it the anxiety playing its tricks again, by making me turn my attention over myself again? Thanks for your help again! This site is great and I am sure very helpful for lots of people, me included!

]]> By: Kashawn http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2008/04/19/28/#comment-2494 Kashawn Thu, 13 Nov 2008 03:49:06 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=28#comment-2494 Awesome post!!!! Awesome post!!!!

]]> By: candie http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2008/04/19/28/#comment-877 candie Tue, 06 May 2008 18:12:29 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=28#comment-877 That was a real eye opener for me, that moment of acceptance, it only lasted about a day but the more times i come through, the more revaltions i get the moment of acceptance will last longer and longer.. i just know it. I arn't worried that it has disapeared, as i know it can come and go.. and that set backs do occur. This was a big acheivement for me, just to have that day and honestly not give a damn about this thing was enough for me to know i am on the right path. That was a real eye opener for me, that moment of acceptance, it only lasted about a day but the more times i come through, the more revaltions i get the moment of acceptance will last longer and longer.. i just know it. I arn’t worried that it has disapeared, as i know it can come and go.. and that set backs do occur.

This was a big acheivement for me, just to have that day and honestly not give a damn about this thing was enough for me to know i am on the right path.

]]> By: No More Anxiety http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2008/04/19/28/#comment-844 No More Anxiety Sat, 03 May 2008 22:33:31 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=28#comment-844 Below are Candies words..... I will try again! This is the 4th time i have tried to word this but i just dont know where to start. I think today i have finally let go of the battle, i know now it is not one that can be won. It is no longer important to rid myself of the anxiety. When i have bad thoughts or feel anxious it just doesnt matter to me anymore to rid myself of them. I dont feel the need to repeat sayings in my head ’such as i accept this’… hoping that if i beleived it enough this awful thing would go away. I cant explain it so i wont try, but i am positive i have finally let go of the battle and found peace regardless of the fact i still have anxiety. Before each day was a struggle, wondering when this awful feeling would go away.. now i couldnt care less if it takes months or years and i trually mean that. I 100% know and beleive this thing will pass now, in its own time when my body has recovered… anxiety may have filled the past few years with fear, but the future is mine now and i am not going to spend a single day worrying if it is going to be ther or not. I think striving for acceptance can become a battle in itself, as soon as i let go and started to live anyway with this thing beside me .. the acceptance came to me. That's exactly it Candie, don't fight to get rid of it and a very good point, you don't have to keep saying statements like 'I have to accept this' any statement you have to try and make it go away will not work as you don't feel intant peace you go onto somthing else, then get dissapointed, bewildered etc..etc...acceptance is an attitude and yes it comes to you, you don't have to keep saying statements over and over. In fact I will leave your wording above as I could not have put it better myself. Everything to me came as a revalation....'Ahhh I get it now' you just had one of those moments and put it into writing perfect. And as you say certain things are hard to put into words, so everyone understands, this is why I say them in different ways as people do relate to the same message put in a different way. Paul Below are Candies words…..

I will try again! This is the 4th time i have tried to word this but i just dont know where to start.

I think today i have finally let go of the battle, i know now it is not one that can be won. It is no longer important to rid myself of the anxiety.

When i have bad thoughts or feel anxious it just doesnt matter to me anymore to rid myself of them. I dont feel the need to repeat sayings in my head ’such as i accept this’… hoping that if i beleived it enough this awful thing would go away.

I cant explain it so i wont try, but i am positive i have finally let go of the battle and found peace regardless of the fact i still have anxiety. Before each day was a struggle, wondering when this awful feeling would go away.. now i couldnt care less if it takes months or years and i trually mean that.

I 100% know and beleive this thing will pass now, in its own time when my body has recovered… anxiety may have filled the past few years with fear, but the future is mine now and i am not going to spend a single day worrying if it is going to be ther or not.

I think striving for acceptance can become a battle in itself, as soon as i let go and started to live anyway with this thing beside me .. the acceptance came to me.

That’s exactly it Candie, don’t fight to get rid of it and a very good point, you don’t have to keep saying statements like ‘I have to accept this’ any statement you have to try and make it go away will not work as you don’t feel intant peace you go onto somthing else, then get dissapointed, bewildered etc..etc…acceptance is an attitude and yes it comes to you, you don’t have to keep saying statements over and over. In fact I will leave your wording above as I could not have put it better myself. Everything to me came as a revalation….’Ahhh I get it now’ you just had one of those moments and put it into writing perfect.

And as you say certain things are hard to put into words, so everyone understands, this is why I say them in different ways as people do relate to the same message put in a different way.

Paul

]]> By: Leanne D http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2008/04/19/28/#comment-792 Leanne D Thu, 01 May 2008 10:23:12 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=28#comment-792 Tom, I fully understand your heart concerns. my heart did pretty much what yours is doing & I was convinced all was wrong. I know exactley what you are going through, I even carry asprin round in case I have a heart attack. Please don't be scared, every single symptom you describe I have been through too and of course I still have my doubts and like you been to my GP and cardiologist. But as soon as I stopped worrying my symptoms went away. I was absolutely obsessed with pains, and pins and needles in my left side - but when I stopped worrying they disappeared. I also get tingling in my bottom lip - and Its when I am stressing out. I have learnt to link it. Also pains in chest and racing heart and heart flutters. One thing I did to help myself is CUT OUT ALL CAFFINE and if you haven't done that I would recommend this to you so very much. Also, I stopped smoking (not sure f you do) this has also helped ALOT. I also am TRYING to quite the alchol but this is proving hard as its one of the only times I feel normal. The last couple of days I have felt uncomfortable but I am taking the rough with the smooth. Life isn't easy and things do stress you out - but just remember you are not alone. Tom, I fully understand your heart concerns. my heart did pretty much what yours is doing & I was convinced all was wrong. I know exactley what you are going through, I even carry asprin round in case I have a heart attack. Please don’t be scared, every single symptom you describe I have been through too and of course I still have my doubts and like you been to my GP and cardiologist. But as soon as I stopped worrying my symptoms went away. I was absolutely obsessed with pains, and pins and needles in my left side – but when I stopped worrying they disappeared. I also get tingling in my bottom lip – and Its when I am stressing out. I have learnt to link it. Also pains in chest and racing heart and heart flutters.

One thing I did to help myself is CUT OUT ALL CAFFINE and if you haven’t done that I would recommend this to you so very much. Also, I stopped smoking (not sure f you do) this has also helped ALOT. I also am TRYING to quite the alchol but this is proving hard as its one of the only times I feel normal.
The last couple of days I have felt uncomfortable but I am taking the rough with the smooth. Life isn’t easy and things do stress you out – but just remember you are not alone.

]]> By: Paul McG http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2008/04/19/28/#comment-791 Paul McG Wed, 30 Apr 2008 18:47:00 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=28#comment-791 Hi Tom ,, I dont think we have chatted before so i dont recall , any of your posts , the heart symptoms ? you've had it checked out with your gp , and its all clear !!!! well all of the symptoms you've mentioned are also feelings or sensations we can experience with having anxiety , I also attended hospital and the doctors for brain scans , because of depersonalisation , but in the end its all anxiety related ! You have placed that negative worry in your head and your mind is not letting go of it ! WHAT YOU THINK AND WHAT YOU FEEL AND WHAT MANIFESTS IS ALWAYS A MATCH ! If you can make sense of that then you will realise that if you constantly think there is something wrong with your heart then you will convince yourself there is , no matter what ! They are only thoughts , you need to realise that ! This is not reality ! You just need to let the thoughts be there , not act on them , in time they will become less powefull that way , thats the only way forward , trust me , i have been there ! You need to navigate through the site and book again , and refresh your mind , as to how things really are and not how you perceive them to be !! Paul Mc Hi Tom ,, I dont think we have chatted before so i dont recall , any of your posts , the heart symptoms ? you’ve had it checked out with your gp , and its all clear !!!! well all of the symptoms you’ve mentioned are also feelings or sensations we can experience with having anxiety , I also attended hospital and the doctors for brain scans , because of depersonalisation , but in the end its all anxiety related ! You have placed that negative worry in your head and your mind is not letting go of it !
WHAT YOU THINK
AND WHAT YOU FEEL
AND WHAT MANIFESTS
IS ALWAYS A MATCH !
If you can make sense of that then you will realise that if you constantly think there is something wrong with your heart then you will convince yourself there is , no matter what ! They are only thoughts , you need to realise that ! This is not reality ! You just need to let the thoughts be there , not act on them , in time they will become less powefull that way , thats the only way forward , trust me , i have been there ! You need to navigate through the site and book again , and refresh your mind , as to how things really are and not how you perceive them to be !!

Paul Mc

]]> By: Jules http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2008/04/19/28/#comment-789 Jules Tue, 29 Apr 2008 01:02:30 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=28#comment-789 I had a break through this week after reading Paul's blog and it was like it was written for me. The anxiety came back in a wave last Sunday and i've been fighting and not and fighting and not. It got to the point when I thought I couldn't do it, I can't accept this thing, these sensations and feelings and I felt so low and trapped. I thought a tight muscle in my leg was causing the anxiety (irrational, I know). And when I was able to see it for what it was, a tight muscle, I then saw that I was anxious, and getting anxious about being anxious! So the trick is don't get wound up about being anxious cos you'l get more anxious! I felt great for a day or two just being anxious and being ok. Today has been heavy, really dp and feeling this numbness and so forgetful, heart racing!. Just taking things a day a a time. I'm not in the same 'i'm ok space' but not freaking either...i'm practicing! It helped me so much, Pauls approach and reading advice and tips from other people on here. Very grateful to all to have this website to read. So thankyou. I had a break through this week after reading Paul’s blog and it was like it was written for me. The anxiety came back in a wave last Sunday and i’ve been fighting and not and fighting and not. It got to the point when I thought I couldn’t do it, I can’t accept this thing, these sensations and feelings and I felt so low and trapped. I thought a tight muscle in my leg was causing the anxiety (irrational, I know). And when I was able to see it for what it was, a tight muscle, I then saw that I was anxious, and getting anxious about being anxious! So the trick is don’t get wound up about being anxious cos you’l get more anxious! I felt great for a day or two just being anxious and being ok.
Today has been heavy, really dp and feeling this numbness and so forgetful, heart racing!. Just taking things a day a a time. I’m not in the same ‘i’m ok space’ but not freaking either…i’m practicing!
It helped me so much, Pauls approach and reading advice and tips from other people on here. Very grateful to all to have this website to read.
So thankyou.

]]> By: Tom McGurk http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2008/04/19/28/#comment-788 Tom McGurk Mon, 28 Apr 2008 22:06:23 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=28#comment-788 Hi everyone. its been nearly 3 weeks since my last post and those weeks have been hellish. But im still here!!! i am however very depressed because of the return of my anxiety and its like turning the clock back 7 years to when i was first ill. i have myself convinced there is something wrong with my heart - that has always been my obsession, even though i have had tests with my gp and in hospital and my gp assures me i have a very strong heart. i cant lose this feeling and these thoughts. i keep thinking i will just have this heart attack at any time. meaning i am constantly afraid and anxious. and the symptoms i experience all they do is confirm my feeling - pains in my chest, racing heart, dry mouth, sweating, pins and needles and tingling, in my arms, hands and even in my teeth. these freak me out so much. i try to remember that i felt of all of this almost every day for the entire 7 years ive been ill, until just before christmas when i thought i was cured!!! but i cannot get much reassurance at present. life is not enjoyable, but i am getting help. i am back on my meds as well and need to give them time to get into my system - this will then lift my mood out of this depression and then i can start dealing with my anxiety again. at the moment it is just hour by hour never mind day by day. wanted to ask, how do you guys keep your focus when going through bad times like this? any advice gratefully received. Hi everyone. its been nearly 3 weeks since my last post and those weeks have been hellish. But im still here!!! i am however very depressed because of the return of my anxiety and its like turning the clock back 7 years to when i was first ill. i have myself convinced there is something wrong with my heart – that has always been my obsession, even though i have had tests with my gp and in hospital and my gp assures me i have a very strong heart. i cant lose this feeling and these thoughts. i keep thinking i will just have this heart attack at any time. meaning i am constantly afraid and anxious. and the symptoms i experience all they do is confirm my feeling – pains in my chest, racing heart, dry mouth, sweating, pins and needles and tingling, in my arms, hands and even in my teeth. these freak me out so much. i try to remember that i felt of all of this almost every day for the entire 7 years ive been ill, until just before christmas when i thought i was cured!!! but i cannot get much reassurance at present. life is not enjoyable, but i am getting help. i am back on my meds as well and need to give them time to get into my system – this will then lift my mood out of this depression and then i can start dealing with my anxiety again. at the moment it is just hour by hour never mind day by day.

wanted to ask, how do you guys keep your focus when going through bad times like this? any advice gratefully received.

]]> By: No More Anxiety http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2008/04/19/28/#comment-787 No More Anxiety Sun, 27 Apr 2008 12:05:18 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=28#comment-787 Thanks for that Fergal, As long as I help people move forward in the right way, that's all I ask, I do hope you enjoy the book and it helps you. Thanks for that Fergal, As long as I help people move forward in the right way, that’s all I ask, I do hope you enjoy the book and it helps you.

]]> By: Fergal http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/2008/04/19/28/#comment-786 Fergal Sun, 27 Apr 2008 10:07:37 +0000 http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/?p=28#comment-786 Thanks Paul - I can honestly say I already relate to your story a lot more than anyone elses's I've read, I have tried the linden method and panic away and while I dont doubt they are good, I couldnt apply the methods myself. I am actually currently seeing a hypnotherapist which is very expensive and not getting me anywhere and I will be cancelling that this week. Very excited about receiving your book. Your blog called 'Dont Fight to be Right' is brilliant, I have been doing this so much lately, even after just reading this I felt so much better. I have been going through hell for over a year now, feeling shattered, depressed, angry, no self esteem and no confidence. I see very clearly now that my anxiety is causing all this. My family were starting to get very annoyed with me for not seeing a counsellor which only made me feel worse but I knew it was not the answer. I feel very confident now that I will recover with the knowledge in your book Paul, I also love your website, simple, to the point, and absolutely spot on. Many Thanks and hope to talk to you again. Fergal Thanks Paul – I can honestly say I already relate to your story a lot more than anyone elses’s I’ve read, I have tried the linden method and panic away and while I dont doubt they are good, I couldnt apply the methods myself. I am actually currently seeing a hypnotherapist which is very expensive and not getting me anywhere and I will be cancelling that this week. Very excited about receiving your book. Your blog called ‘Dont Fight to be Right’ is brilliant, I have been doing this so much lately, even after just reading this I felt so much better. I have been going through hell for over a year now, feeling shattered, depressed, angry, no self esteem and no confidence. I see very clearly now that my anxiety is causing all this. My family were starting to get very annoyed with me for not seeing a counsellor which only made me feel worse but I knew it was not the answer. I feel very confident now that I will recover with the knowledge in your book Paul, I also love your website, simple, to the point, and absolutely spot on. Many Thanks and hope to talk to you again.

Fergal

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