What do people think of a forum and a letter from the NHS

Well firstly the blog is out growing itself and with people commenting a lot I would like to put a suggestion forward. What would people think for a forum for us all? Someone said tonight we are a pretty tight bunch and I agree, not only that and I am repeating myself here but we have some wonderful, positive and helpful people comment on here. I do moderate the blog and I delete so many comments from people I think are trying to misuse it, people who offer the latest miracle cure, people who try to spam the blog, it filters a lot of crap out and keeps it clean.

I did actually put a forum up over a year ago and it was a nightmare, it was spammed, it was mis-used and to be honest was more hassle than it was worth. But I now have the tools to make it invitation only so it stays spam free. Not only that but it keeps it manageable and I want it to be a positive place, not only where we discuss things and support each other, but also where we can have a laugh and talk about other things, just a place for everyone to come to on a bad day for support, to share a good day, just as the blog has so far. What I don’t want is a forum with loads of conflicting advice, the latest medication, the latest miracle cures, the whole things about forums I don’t like. I would just like the people on here to have a place to hang out and chat. The blog is o.k to a point but I feel a forum run right would be really good. What I want though is opinions on this, if people would like it, then I will build one, if people are happy as it is then I won’t. So please give me your opinions.

O.k to finish here is an email I recieved today from a senior figure in the NHS who doctors refer to with anxiety.

Hi Paul,

I work as a support worker for the NHS, working in a Crisis mental health team in the community. We very often get referrals from GP’s and other services of people suffering from a personal crisis which we support in the community; quite a lot suffer from anxiety!
I am willing to purchase your book but if you have any other information that would be helpful in helping me treat my clients or advice would it would be very welcome.
My regards

Again someone being refered to someone from the NHS, the last port of call and they then have to ask me how to help them, you could not make it up, boy I hope one day they take this condition serious and actually put people in place that are qualified to help.

Well thats me for now, keep positive.


64 Responses to “What do people think of a forum and a letter from the NHS”

  1. Rick Says:

    Sounds a good idea Paul ,

  2. Shirley D. Says:

    Crikey Rick, you were up and about early!

    I think that a forum would be an additional bonus. Shirley D

  3. samantha Says:

    hi all

    when i was bad i had the crisis mental health team visit me for a month i can honestly say they were near useless , their main concern was whether my husband or children needed counseling hello i was the one in a state and all they could do was throw medication at me ( which i refused to take) i had more knowledge of anxiety than they did. so all in all they were useless it was me that pulled myself up from despair.

    yes a forum would be good and yes i agree with what you say about it being an up beat place i rarely visit other forums as they sometimes made me feel worse


  4. No More Anxiety Says:

    Yes Samantha I agree, reading about other people’s problems, seeing loads of conflicting advice can have this effect, I was never a fan of forums and that’s why I want this to be different than the rest and vigoursely moderated. I want it to be a positive place, somewhere where people can not only go to read good information and be supported, but where they can hang out and have some fun, I have a few ideas for this and I will like the off topic section to be as popular as the anxiety section. Somewhere to meet and talk with new people, to build friendships and have the support if and when needed. The blog would carry on as normal, its just not always as easy to chat on there. Anyway I will see the reaction I get and I do what people want me to do, it not about me.


  5. Tarmo Says:

    The forum idea sounds good to me as well!

  6. jo Says:

    hi guys,
    I agree with samantha, I too had the crisis team visit me, when I was at my worst, they just talked to me like i was an idiot, and looking back at it now, not one thing they suggested worked for me!
    It wasnt until I found this site, that i started to believe that i could be me again.
    I have lost all faith in the nhs, like ive read on here so many times, its true the medical profesion dont have a clue!
    I think a forum would be a great idea, like paul says, it would be nice to have somewhere to chat, and make new friends, who are in the same situation, to share the good days, and have a little suport on the not so good days.

    Jo xx

  7. candie Says:

    Yea a forrum would be great.

    Oh my god!!! That has made me so angry to read that letter from the NHS, i was too reffered to the crisis team and i am really glad i didnt go now.

    We should all start a petition or something to protest for better support from the NHS because this is just rediculous. A brain surgeon wouldnt take advice from a non proffesional, so its clear they dont see anxiety as a propper illness.

  8. Mark Says:

    Hi Paul, New to the site posted a couple times , but find this to be the most uplifting positive place and also very good for giving out the right advice. Would love a forum to be added, Cheers, Mark from snowy Alberta , Canada

  9. Paul McG Says:

    I would love a forum to be added to the site , but you are right ! a forum with a difference !! . i think everyone on here , post , very good points and advice and sing from the same hymn sheet , therefore helping to reinforce the message ,you Paul have given us ! ( sounds like some sort of cult , lol ! ) but seriously with the right input from all sides it could be great , a place to get to know one another more , thus being more light hearted , but also with the options to ask and give advice ,

    Paul . x

  10. Leanne D Says:

    Hey, I think a forum would be a great idea. It would benefit me and I’m sure many others so I am definitely all for it and hope this happens. :-)

    I would really hope like you say though that it would be controlled with invite only and not mis-used etc. I’ve had a look at other forums about and they can get pretty out of hand with randoms gettin’ a kick out of being unkind.

    I am well up for this though and I look forward to hearing more about it! x

  11. Shirley D. Says:

    Ha Ha! Paul McG.

    Yes, I agree, every time I write I feel I should be down on my knees praising the great holy one who has given us guidance. Compliment of course!!!!!!
    Yes, again I agree, a forum would be a place to get to know one another more.

  12. No More Anxiety Says:

    Yes Leanne it would be invite only, this is not discrimination, just as Paul says singing from the same hymn sheet and run properly would become a really nice place to be, a positive place with the right people and and good advice and some laughs along the way.

  13. Paul McG Says:

    Shirley ! , sounds like you’ve got a warped sense of humour ! ……….. Just like me ! No , but that is something i have been missing for some time , the ability to be my old self , not bothering what anyone else thought , but in a nice way and i dont as much these days , tastes , as Sweet As Honey , as the great song says ! Hmmmm ! Oh ! and if Rick was up early to post , What time did Paul surface at ,to do the blog in the first place ? Never did hear about if you got that job or not or did i miss something ?

  14. Shirley D. Says:

    Still waiting to hear about my job. They don’t half take their time!!!!!

  15. steph Says:

    hi everyone, yeah i think forum would be good idea for everyone to hang out! i agree with others tho bout invite only.. look forward to it! paul i was wondering you said you had a book out on depersonalisation, is it for sale yet.. thanx x

  16. No More Anxiety Says:

    Hi Steph, The book is only half completed, I have built a few websites for friends recently and this has took up so much of my time, I will let you know as soon as it is ready, writing a book is very hard work and takes a lot of time before you are finally happy, then it has to be proof read. But I will get round to finishing it as I feel it would help a lot of people on a subject that is not really covered at all out there.

  17. Peter Says:

    Hi first post here! Just wanted to say a big thank you to Paul for his excellent book and for all the hopeful and helpful posts on here which have helped me through a few difficult weeks. I am not ‘there’ by any means yet but have made great strides compared to the beginning of the year!

  18. samhudson Says:

    Yes I think a forum would be a good idea paul!! :)

  19. No More Anxiety Says:

    Hi Peter, I am glad the blog has helped and thanks for posting. I know there are a lot of people who just read the blog and don’t post. But if anyone feels they want to then please don’t be shy to do so. All I ask is no text talk please and please also respect my time and try not to bombard me with questions, I do answer where and when I can but I get very busy and do like the social side of the blog and this is hard to do when swamped with questions and there are many others here now who give great support and advice, like I say I do answer when I can and expand on certain things, but I don’t read every post. Apart from that then please feel free to post.


  20. Rick Says:

    Hi everyone,
    wasn’t up that early, seems that when i post it records it an hour earlyer than it actually is. Like the clock hasn’t gone forward!!!!! Not having a great couple of weeks at the moment, I have been doing really well, But i keep getting thoughts that linger and dart in and out of my head, had these before but never as intence. They are even in my dreams if anyone can relate to this and share there experience, would be very helpfull. Reasurance is the key to telling one’s self that everything is ok. Well at least for me anyhow.

  21. Mark G Says:

    Hi All

    I’ve been hovering around for a couple of weeks now, but this is my first post. This is, by far and away, the best website !! Great advice and nice people – i’m pleased I stumbled across it.

  22. Samhudson Says:

    Hey rick i can totally agree where you are coming from i got these thoughts that come with such intensity and most of the time i dont even kno what they are but they jus seem to stick around and they are even in my dreams to,its kind of hard to explain.

  23. JACQUIE Says:

    Hi there

    I think a forum would be great……….. I really needed to feel there were other people out there like me………..and reading there symptoms experiences helps especially early on…………. Thank you to Paul for your comments in the 31st March Blog……….I have continued to develop your strategy and so far so good, I have felt so so much better this past 4 days……… remember everyone thoughts become things ………….think the good ones………..I have put so much energy and time into developing a positive mindset and attitude, I refused to take the drugs I was prescribed and have had determination to beat this DAMN MONSTER!!! I am getting the better of IT!!!

    Exercise does help I walk everyday and try to switch off, or think happy positive thoughts……….setting goals also and working towards achieving small steps along the way!!!

    My body has reacted in the wierdest of ways, and now I a just meeting it and going oh well is this how you want to feel today!!! It is amazing how quick it can pass now!!! If I find myself sidetracking into my old thoughts of What if something is wrong with me!!, I just tell myself and IT OFF!!!


  24. No More Anxiety Says:

    Hi Mark and Jaquie, yes there as some great people around here that are very supportive and give great advice. Welcome aboard and please feel free to post at anytime, a question, a bit of support, just to let people know about your day, anything at all.


  25. Tom McGurk Says:

    i tihnk a forum would be a great idea paul

  26. JoeyLowtown Says:

    I’m up for the forum, would be great to be able to interact with each other more!

  27. Paul McG Says:

    Hi Rick , seems like your giving these thoughts more respect than they deserve , dont be frightened by them , just let them come and go , like Paul has said , it’s in the practice of changing your mindset , as to how you react to the thoughts , remember thats just exactly what they are ! , THOUGHTS ! , they will not harm you , just keep telling yourself its ok for them to be there , with time this will become easier to do , trust me !! As for your sleep , I too have had very bad spells of sleep depravation and lingering thoughts , your mind is tired and is just playing tricks on you , try not to worry , the intensity will pass ! try to just accept !


  28. No More Anxiety Says:

    A forum it is then, thanks for your responses. I will get around to doing it soon and email everyone indivdually to let them know the passwords to access it.


  29. Rick Says:

    hi sam
    Thanks for the post, it’s weird to say but now you have told me that you suffer too it feels better. I suppose in are worlds we are all experts and critic’s of this dam thing, If only i had put all this mind power to use when i was doing my A levels i would have come out with straight ”A”s LOL :) The reason i posted this morning is because ive been quite well for some time now, no anxiety as such. Just these lingering thoughts, which if im honest are a dam pain. Then every so often the ”what ifs” come back. Just feel the wonder land feeling. I no it takes time and im a whole lot better than i was before i found this site. Problem is that ive never been one for the patience thing LOL……. I suppose im learning new skills all the time, just got to learn to be understanding that this will take time :)

  30. Donna (Dee) Says:

    Hi Paul, I think it would be a great idea for a forum! I bought your book last year around this time. I am not 100%, but wow do I feel sooo much better!

  31. Jeff Says:

    Hi All
    I also think the forum would be a good idea although I do love the blogging and worry for you Paul that it’s even more work for you. Between the blog, books, and website seems like you already have your hands full. I’d hate for all of us to add more to your plate.

  32. Manuella Says:

    Hey everyone!

    Yes, a forum for the people! I have a suggestion too…maybe some of the “elders” could help you moderate?! Just to be sure that it won’t lose it’s purpose.


  33. No More Anxiety Says:

    Hi Jeff, I have asked one member to moderate for me and will be asking others nearer the time as I wont have time to be there too much and the people on here not only respect my time, but also give great support and advice so I think it would pretty much run itself. With it being invitation only it wont hopefully grow too big and will be managable. I don’t want it to be too heavy, more to see people making good friendships there. I hope to have people using the off-topic part as much as anything else. I am a real fan myself of building new friendships and having a laugh also, two very important things when not feeling too great and that’s what I hope it will bring as well as support when needed.

    Really somewhere for people to put their feet up, share a joke, have the support on a bad day, share some tips and advice and build some great friendships. I will do my best to make sure this is how it is run.

    Manuella your are certainly invited, we need your humour and positive outlook around the place : )

    Dee that’s great that you are far better, thats all you can ask for, I am sure you will keep going in the right direction and hopefully join us on the forum.


  34. JoeyLowtown Says:

    Rick, are your thoughts centred around one specific thing?

  35. Mark T Says:


    This is the first time I have written in a blog, although I have read through quite a few of them (I’m sure quite a few people can relate lol).

    Read the book several times. It has been very comforting and helpful. I feel a lot calmer now and more like myself. I still seem to have quite severe anxiety attacks that last 20 to 30 mins where I can’t concentrate, forget what I have learnt and start to think that something much worse is happening to me. Does this make sense? The feelings I find the hardest are the racing/scary thoughts. They sometimes feel like I havn’t even thought them they just appear out of the blue, they don’t even make sense sometimes. Although I find excercise is definately an excellent way to clear my mind.

    Love the idea of the forum. I’ve found one of the best ways of feeling better is to share my feelings (my family have been there to listen a lot recently). However I think talking to like minded people would be a great help to.


  36. samantha Says:

    hi all

    my biggest well one prob is sleep having endured very disrupted sleep patterns for a while just wondered if anyone has any tips on dealing with waking up at 4 am and not getting back to sleep . i have always wondered why its 4 am but i got told that is the insomniacs hour. i know i make it worse by getting into a battle with myself the usual i wont get back to sleep what will happen if i don’t and will i ever get a full night,

    suggestions or othes experiences are very welcome


  37. Paul McG Says:

    Samantha !
    Like i posted earlier in the blog , added to the very long list of symptoms i’ve experienced , i also suffered at the hands of disturbed sleep and worse of all sleep depravation , to the extent i never got any , days on end ! This i’ve got to add was extreme , and was triggered by a nervous breakdown , in the end i had to be put on sleeping tablets as my body , by this time had just crashed ! The disturbed sleep has happened more recently , and in my experience it has occured in spells . When your going through a period of disturbed sleep , you tend to start thinking , IS THIS EVER GOING TO END ? that can be the beggining of the cycle of thought which just contributes to the abnormal sleep pattern ! Once again its only my experience , but if you can go to bed , not thinking the negative ,and just take what comes , , then the disurbed sleep will pass , and you will then go into a spell of sleeping like a little baby ! , just part of the journey once again ! There is nothing worse than not getting the sleep we are used to , i can totally sympathise with you , but dont let it dominate your thoughts before bedtime or its sure to hang around longer ! In other words , Dont get into that battle .

  38. Rick Says:

    Hi joey
    No not really they can be about anything…..

  39. Shirley D. Says:

    I sympathise completely, oh that sleep deprivation! When my anxiety started it was always the same time every night 4am!!! It was like someone got my head and turned it to the clock and said LOOK!!!! I tried to cope with it by telling myself that the next night was another night. You do make it a battle because sleep is the time that you really want to switch off from your traumas. You may find it is several weeks before you get back to a normal sleeping pattern,I cut out the 4am a little while ago and then moved on to 6am, now the 6am has been kicked in to touch and i’m sleeping till 7.30. So, given time it does get back to normal, but like with everything else it does take time.

  40. No More Anxiety Says:

    Samantha I have touched on this before you need to say to yourself ‘If I sleep wake at 4 I do and if so what the heck, if you do wake DON’T get into a battle to get back to sleep’ as soon as you put pressure on yourself to sleep then it has the opposite effect, just have the don’t care attitude.

    I had the same problem of not sleeping and I tried to sleep, worried about sleeping and well there was the problem. I just gave up bothering if I slept or not, I had that ‘however much sleep I get then that’s fine’ and in time I slept fine.

  41. Mark G Says:

    Hello. Glad we’ve touched on this, as i’m going through that phase of waking at 4am as well. It was 1:30am last week, but seems to have shifted along a bit. Dont know if you get this bit as well Samantha, but about 3-4pm in the afternoon I get really knackered and feel as if i could just drift off (unfortunately, i’m still at work !!). Then, come nightime, i’m wide awake. It’s frustrating, but that’s all.

  42. Shirley D. Says:

    Update: Shirley was rejected for the job. I have another interview today, but I went on recce yesterday to find out where I was going today and don’t know if I like the look of the place.
    Guess what, it has given me a troubled sleep! That, with the news that I didn’t get the one i really wanted – feeling a bit low today.

  43. jo Says:

    hi all,
    Ive just been reading the posts about not sleeping, what is it about 4 am?!
    when I first had my anxiety, I was awake pretty much most of the night,
    my mind just wouldnt be quiet!
    and I was also put on sleeping tablets, which didnt do much for me, I was in such a mess, that I ended up on such a high dose of sleeping tablets, the pharmacist nearly refused to give me them!
    I ended up having to be weaned off of them, because my body was addicted to them.
    but now four months later, my sleep has improved so much its amazing lol.
    up until about a month ago I was waking at 4am, but that has gradually stretched out to 7.30, and on saturday, I didnt wake up until 9am.
    From my experience, I wouldnt take sleeping tablets, they are so addictive, and in my opinion, they dont really help. there is no “quick fix”, or “magic pill”.
    I now follow pauls advice, just have the attitude off, “if I wake early so be it,” dont give your anxiety any respect.
    I also have found that exercise helps loads, I have recently started a new job, on a holiday village, which envolves alot of cycling, as well as cleaning villas from top to bottom, so by the time I get home im shattered, I guess thats all the adrenaline burning off.
    I also, find that if I read It relaxes me and I sleep better, Im reading pauls book for the third time, I find it reassures me.
    I hope this helps, If I can do it, anyone can, it just takes time.
    Pauls book and this site, have helped me so much, for someone who has almost no willpower, I have even surprised myself! lol
    Jo x

  44. samantha Says:


    i am in the process of writing my own book based on my own subjective experience of anxiety focusing on the psychological aspects as i feel this is usually largely ignored in most literature, it can be a frightening experience even though it is pointed out to you that its anxiety trying to accept the psychological symptoms can be extremely hard . like paul i want to reach out to those who in there eyes maybe fear impending madness as i did for a long time. so watch this space!!!

    it will take me a while to complete but i hope it will be cathartic for myself as well.
    take care all


  45. Jeff Says:

    Mark T
    Been there! Scary thoughts are the worst. Many times over the last few years I’ve been going along great only to have a scary(usually irrational) thought pop into my head and set me off on a vicious anxiety cycle. The key for me is not to give them much interest. This is not easy in the beginning but over time it does get easier. Now when they happen I try to laugh to myself and go about my business. They now subside very quickly because I realize they are just thoughts nothing more. Hang in there things will get better

  46. JoeyLowtown Says:

    Samantha, I admire you for this. I will definately want a copy when its done. You are right that many books dont really touch on the thought based symptoms. As for not sleeping. Keep the faith, I had a spell about two years ago, where I literally didnt sleep for six months. I was in the middle of myu apprenticeship and had to do hard days on site gettin up at 6am and gettin back in at 7pm, with no sleep. I battled with my head daily, as soon as I lay down, that was it, no sleep. I got to the point of fearing not sleeping, so I couldnt relax. I now sleep perfectly! I just somehow learned to not try and make myself sleep. My advice would be, to go to bed when you are really tired, even if you have to be up early. Better to go to bed late and sleep, than to go at 9pm and thrash round all night, angrily trying to. I didnt suffer the 4am thing, mine was literally falling asleep 30min before the alarm was due to go off. Needless to say I was a caffeine junky in these times. Dont touch the stuff now!

  47. JR Says:

    I think a forum would be a great idea. There are a lot of really good people on here that I would like to get to know better. I think those of us who have gone through anxiety or are going through anxiety should stick together because we are the only ones that really know what it is like. Samantha…Writing a book about the thought based symptoms is a good idea. I consider myself a writer (somehow managed to editor my university newspaper with severe anxiety/dp) but now I work in school public relations doing some writing, web work, video/photography. Sometimes I think it’s too much with my anxiety/dp. Paul the book and website are great and so is giving all this information with minimal cost!

  48. Lee Says:

    a forum would be a great idea!!

  49. No More Anxiety Says:

    Hi everyone, the forum will be ready in the next couple of days hopefully, I will let everyone know.


  50. Paul McG Says:

    Thought you’ve been a bit quiet Paul !! Hope we’re not putting you to , too much bother , but i’m certainly looking forward to it ! Hope everyone is having a better week !

  51. Claire Says:

    Hi everyone,

    on the sleep thing, I don’t know if this helps but I try to listen to my breathing when I can’t sleep and that really helps me relax. My mind still chatters away but I try and pay attention to breathing in and out and that helps relax you making it easier to sleep. I don’t look at my clock either so that I don’t count the hours that I’m not sleeping and how long I’ve got till I wake up. Also I don’t drink caffeine at all and try not to drink anything after 9pm.

  52. lisa Says:

    hi im new on here i read it every day i think its great all the good advice you all give to each other. hi paul bought your book last year well done . the forum is a great idea look forward to it. i now do meditation it helps sleep concentration and really lifts your mood so anyone stuck try it , this is also a good place to come whenever your down as you know your not alone and things really do get better.

  53. No More Anxiety Says:

    Hi Lisa and welcome, really glad you pop in each day and find it helpful. I have not been as active recently due to me trying to get something else finished and starting a graphics course. I will hopefully be doing another post very soon.

    The forum is also taking a little longer than first thought, I will keep everyone posted with any devolpments, its just a time thing at the moment and another small issue.


  54. Amy Says:

    I feel like I’m coming a little late to this party, but I would be really interested in the forum too.

    Thanks for the reminder about meditation Lisa – I must get back to doing it regularly. Been really lazy recently. I really am my own worst enemy! 😉

  55. Shirley D. Says:

    I’m happy – i’m back in work, not quite full time but it’s a great start.
    Sunshine today and no anxiety. Great.

  56. Frederic Floyd Says:

    Forum sounds good

    But Please dont let it turn into DPself help forum, or something like that.
    They’re too scary, and full of random advice from people who dont know what they are really talking about.

    I just dont want to see posts like : “hey, im new, I think I fell on my head when i was a kid, Im gonna try this to get rid of this , what do you think ? “

  57. lisa Says:

    hi amy i do my meditation when the kids go off to school there old enough to go by themselves now, it takes sum doing as youl no but its just being consistant or in the afternoon or when the kids are playing out iv got in touch with alot of feelings i had bottled up and its been really helpful along with pauls book and help iv had, now off medication and going back to work, it really is just accepting like paul says , hi to everyone else out there hope you all have a good day.

  58. No More Anxiety Says:

    Frederic trust me it wont be like that, that is exactly the sort of forum I don’t want, it helps nobody. I am making it invitation only and hope it will be a place where people can relax and talk about other things, build up friendships and have a little support on a bad day. Forums as they are, do little good for anyone, full of horror stories, bad, cnflicting advice, I don’t want that. I want friendships, laughs, positive posts. Just like it is on here really. I want the off topic section to be as popular, if not more popular than anywhere else.


  59. Frederic Floyd Says:

    You know what you’re doing paul, a lot of people trust you. Keep it up.

  60. candie Says:

    I was too fretting that people may come in the forrum and say things that may put us all of track, its horror stories like that what fuel this illness. Glad to know it wont be like that

  61. Claire Says:

    I have never posted here before but find the website and book a great help in coping with anxiety. A forum sounds like a great idea and i would really welcome it, its a great comfort to know that their are other people out their going through the same thing as me.

  62. No More Anxiety Says:

    Thanks for posting Claire and I will send you an invite and let you know what sort of forum I would like it to be. I want it to support people, build friendships and also for people to have a good laugh. I don’t want it like the others out there, I want it to be a helpful and positive place to be.


  63. sue Says:

    Hi all, i like claire (above) have never posted before, but i often visit this blog, i find great advice here, i have the book also, i think a forum would be a good idea and yes an invitation only is a brilliant idea.
    I think paul is doing a wonderful job and it’s great that he uses his time to help others, thanks paul keep up the good work.

  64. No More Anxiety Says:

    Thank you for that Sue and thank you for posting. It does not matter if your new or have been here a while you will be welcomed the same. I have to keep it invitation only otherwise it would be a waste of time and just ruin what we have created here. I have to reject a lot of posts on here as they are not the road I want to go down. It may upset some people, but I have to run it for everyone and keep it a positive, helpful place.

    It should be ready tomorrow and it would be a pleasure to invite you, I am sure if you have read the post you know what sort of forum it will be. There will be a post with more information on the blog tomorrow.

    Take care


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