Why is my anxiety getting worse and not better?

Well today’s post is again a question that people ask on forums and one question I asked myself over the years. The reason people with little or no information get worse is that they know nothing else but to fight this damn thing, they feel it is their only way out, when someone does fight the illness re-invents itself. But it is a lack of information from the people they first seek help from that causes people to go down this path of bewilderment, worrying and fighting how they feel.

For colds we know to just lie up in bed and it will take care of itself. For a broken leg we need a pot and realise we have to wait a few weeks before it gets back to normal, the list really is endless and we know the procedure and don’t concern ourself’s too much and trust in our bodys own healing powers to bring us through. Well with anxiety I did not receive any answers, most people don’t, so we are more scared and bewildered than ever and more than that we have no idea how to make our self better, so we go down a road of constantly trying to rid ourselfs of it, this then has the opposite effect and we begin to feel worse, so we fight and worry even more, yes that was me and many others.

This would be the conversation with someone who understands their condition and someone who does not. I would say to the person who had little insight to the way they felt.

“So what have you done today”?

“Well I woke up and felt sorry for myself as the damn thing was still there. I spent my day worrying about how I was feeling, I got frustrated and spent my whole day trying to do something about it”

“How do you feel”?

“Emotionally and physically drained and more confused than ever, I just seem to be getting worse”

The second person who understood their condition would go something like this

“What have you done today”

“Anxiety wise, nothing at all, I just got on with my day and gave my mind and body a rest, I also understand why I feel like I do and it does not hold the same fear, I just see it more as a felling, so don’t feel the need to do anything about it”

I was the first person and then in time turned into the second person. There is nothing special about anyone who recovers, its just understanding. I can’t get across how bad I was to anyone who thinks they were worse than me. I feel I had a very good understanding of the condition and knowledge really is power. People are understanding more and more and improving. I have more to say but I don’t want to bombard anyone with too much information. We are reversing something that did not come overnight and my recovery took time, a lot of ups and downs, it was not all plain sailing. So don’t think you are unique or that others will come through and for some reason you wont. I have heard this so many times from people as they never see themselves feeling normal again, I always say “Yes and you probably never thought you would feel like this”.

All I want people to do is understand more and not demand anything of themselves, you can’t force normal feeling, you have to let it come to you, which it will in time. If I had one thing that really brought me home, it was the lack of demanding anything or trying to rush my recovery, I just went with it however I felt at any particular time, took all setbacks on the chin and just became happy with the progress I had made, I never tried to scramble back to the person I used to be, this is a mistake some people make they think they have to feel perfect, even demand it of themselves, this again leads to them fighting their condition.

Hopefully there is something their for everyone. Also please do feel free to keep the positive post below going, I feel it really helps hearing good news and bringing a lot of positives to the table.

Paul

For more help and information visit my main site www.anxietynomore.co.uk

For more information about my book ‘At last a life’ visit

www.anxietynomore.co.uk/the_book.html

107 Responses to “Why is my anxiety getting worse and not better?”

  1. Anthony Says:

    I haven’t posted here in a few weeks. Several weeks ago I had a pretty bad setback, felt sorry for myself, cried, couldn’t concentrate. But then I went through a string of about 10 days or so where anxiety was just in the back of my mind. I’d be reminded of it, but didn’t dwell. Infact, I wasn’t even going to this website. It was getting to the point where it was “oh yeah, that thing.” I had a minor setback one night during lunch at work, but I didn’t let it get me down.

    It’s amazing how when you feel that you’ve reached the lowest you can get, and suddenly carry on like normal. I’ve been eating well, sleeping great, haven’t had a panic attack in several weeks. Yeah, I still get easily startled sometimes, might have a frightening thought or two. What is the worst that can happen? I guess my ultimate fear is suicide, but I know I don’t want to do that.

  2. samantha Says:

    hi

    my anxiety is on the back burner i still feel it but now choose not to obsess( some days are easier than others) i still have my ups and downs but at least its not all downs . and as my son pointed out to me having setbacks means that i am moving forward ( he is 16 bless)

    keep going everyone
    samantha

  3. No More Anxiety Says:

    Anthony welcome back, it is always how we react to a setback that is important, we always find the strength to brush ourselfs down and start again. The more setbacks I wen through the more faith I had that that is all they were and they bothered me less, it is a process at times.

    Wise words from a 16yr old Samantha. I once felt bad all the time, 24/7 so i felt the same way, to be up and down meant I was moving in the right direction at one point there were no good days.

  4. steph Says:

    hi all, i have been feeling good for the last week now iv been sleeping,eating and all though iv still had little bouts of anxiety and dp i have told myself its only a feeling too much adrenalin and it cant hurt me etc and iv felt more happier almost excited at the fact i can and have been in control of it. However i didnt sleep too well last night as id had a couple of drinks during day had a daft squabble with a freind caused by me being over sensitive and over reacting to nothing, which made me feel stupid and paranoid of what my friends thought of me, i guess because i was gainning confidence bk and had felt part of everything again then to go and make myself look daft over that just got to me! sounds silly i know! Another thing happened today also i joined facebook and was on it for quite a while with people getting in touch who i know from near me and requesting me to be freinds which is nice, but as id been talking to several different people i suddenly felt really uncomfortabley overwhelmed and thought that id made a bad decision as these people could pry into my life every time i was on the site and people who i dont really want looking at my profile would b prying!! does this sound really pathetic, i just felt o god ill feel obliged to speak to everyone even if i dont feel like it!! I know im on the right track as i have felt tons better and when i dont i know its anxiety, but was a little dissapointed with how i felt over the whole facebook thing i felt odd, like i was this paranoid wreck! has anyone else felt this way, maybe it was me getting giddy with the whole thing?then panicked that i might have to take up invites n stuff? confused.com is how im feeling right now!! any advice welcome thanks x

  5. Sam hudson Says:

    Just want thank everyone for expressing and talking about their anxiety makes it that bit more bearable.

  6. Tarmo Says:

    Steph, you don’t need to please anyone – but yourself. If you don’t feel like being in contact with someone, you don’t have to.

    This is what is common to most of us anxiety sufferers: we feel that we need to “sell” ourselves to everyone, to make everyone feel we’re nice and sane people. But it makes no difference what ANYONE thinks about you. If you accept yourself, it doesn’t matter what other people think about you. If you don’t accept yourself, it doesn’t help even if all the people in the world would think you’re the nicest person on earth. Sure, positive feedback is nice, but we need to learn to love ourselves before we can ever feel free.

  7. steph Says:

    hey tarmo, thank you for the advice and your so right in what you say, i do need to love myself and gain more confidence, its reassuring to know im not the only one who has felt that way! just felt really silly! Its the hardest thing being totally happy with yourself though isnt it?

  8. Paul McGowan Says:

    Hi Steph !
    unfortunately while we suffer from anxiety , most things that would normally be enjoyable are often tainted by the unwelcome , unrational thoughts and feelings anxiety can bring , even joining facebook ! , maybe its just bringing you extra stress you dont really need at the moment , it will still be there , when you have given yourself the time to find the true you , otherwise just take the site for what it is ! I do understand where you are coming from though , its the analysing thing , what ifs and general mind pondering , once again just the anxiety playing its little tricks on you !
    I also think Tarmo is spot on !
    hope this helps a little !
    take care
    Paul

  9. Manuella Says:

    Hello fellas!

    Steph, I understand how you feel and I agree with Tarmo, One of my main concerns is how people are going to react if I’m not nice and funny. Fortunately, I’m finally understanding that I can’t live trying to impress or being the strong one…
    But, it’s true that I enjoy having a laugh and get really stressed when anxiety comes and I get silent and sad. I guess the main point it’s finding a balance…I mean, I don’t want to run away from my work or stop socializing with friends, but I don’t pressure myself to be always at my best, everytime. I go and if at first I’m a bit nervous, I don’t fight or put in an act…let it be. It will come and go.

    It’s all about acceptance, really. Paul’s absolutely right (no, really? Lol).

    I’m still learning, everyday. Setbacks here, good days there. Hey, who’s in a hurry? (I know we are, but shouldn’t).
    I don’t stop doing what I want, even when the green monster tries to convince me not to.

  10. No More Anxiety Says:

    Firstly I had to rush out after posting the above post. I read through it later and found some poor grammer, I have now amended it so reads right, sorry about that.

    Secondly some very good advice again by Tarmo, could not have put it better myself. I used to be the biggest actor going, trying to keep my mask from falling until I realised this was all wrong. Also Manuella with some great tips, totally agree with this part espcially

    “but I don’t pressure myself to be always at my best, everytime. I go and if at first I’m a bit nervous, I don’t fight or put in an act…let it be. It will come and go”

    Also remember that your emotions are increased a lot with anxiety and this does make us a little more touchy and we may tend to worry about something we would not have done before, again we just need to realise that and accept it as part of us for the time being.

    Lastly I just want to say welcome to Sam Hudson who posted above. Welcome Sam, do hang around there are some lovely supportive people around on this blog and plenty of advice that will make you feel you are not alone.

    Paul

  11. Jacky Says:

    Hi I downloaded the book a few weeks ago, it has really helped me. I feel I am better, but then if I have a day like today, where it just is constantly sitting there on my shoulder I get scared!!! and start thinking this is not just panic it must be something else.

    I have trouble with the way my body is reacting, I can feel every tingle, soreness, pain, and breath at times, then I sit waiting for something to happen…………..I ended up in hospital with afirst Panic Attack and this was a completely new ball game for me – never had before, I am not on medication as do not want to go there, and feel I am dealing with it…………..I would love someone to actually tell me that they too feel everything that is going on with their body: i.e. I might get huffed walking and then I tense up I guess and that starts me thining, or say just bending over to retrieve something and getting a tightness in my chest gets me started, generally at the moment I have vrey tense upper back which makes my chest ache!!! Then I get weakness say my hand goes funny , my legs go like lead, I get heaviness in my head, I wonder is this for real!!! how can my body do these things to me………I must admit though since reading the book I am not panicking like I was………..but today I have had to ward off the panic so many times I feel like I am going mad!!! I feel weird wash over me, and I can feel the panic rise but I am managing to keep it at bay!!! Well I have to think that this will get better!! I do not need this to continue – no one does

  12. No More Anxiety Says:

    Jacky I can give you a few tips now, what you are doing is making the mistake of thinking ‘I must not feel like this’ and as you say warding it off, looking over your shoulder in fear of it coming, you need to change this habit as all you are is still in fear of it and you will just carry on worrying about it and living in fear of these feelings, which helps it continue.

    You are also watching each symptom, worrying and questioning why it is there, again you are falling into the trap of not getting on with your and just giving it loads of respect and worrying about each feeling, again you need to do the opposite and no matter how you feel, just accept it for the time being, don’t spend your day worrying and questioning it all, which you are doing now.

    Anxiety tires the mind and your body add this too all the excess adrenalin and you have some pretty weird symptoms, the key is to not care. This make take a little time to adjust your attitude as probably all you have done so far is to, worry, question, try and keep it at bay, but this is the very reason it re-invents itself and you end up in a cycle. Stick around and read other posts and you will learn far more.

    Paul

  13. Patrick Says:

    Hi all,

    this is my first post here. After reading the site/book I am now convinced I found what I have!

    I went through all the patterns and (I guess) false convictions, including OCD. Slowly, things are beginning to sink in and make sense, even though I actually felt a lot worse after reading the advice: my mind was racing to make sense of it all. Thoughts like: “How did he mean this and that?”, “How do I welcome my fears?”. These have now gone but I still “worry” about too much thinking in general.

    I have helped myself in seeing two ways of thinking: a more positive form, where I go through what I have learnt and experienced so far, compared to the “negative” form, which is fear driven questioning. I must for now accept that thinking along the positive line, even if it’s a bit obessive, is better that those endless negative struggles. I find that I can think a lot more clearly the better I feel, and in fact my main “worry” at the moment is the predominant role the thoughts are playing, even if they are mostly of the positive nature. Funny, really.

    Cheers,

    Patrick

  14. Mark Says:

    Thanks Paul , Your advice is right on the money, have had anxiety and DP on and off for about 22 years mostley in my younger years when i knew nothing of the condition and as you have stated not understanding fuels the fear, Iam proud to say have been in total remission now for over 9 years, now let me say this did not come about easy also figured out after having DP and anxiety on and off for many years that it was my fear of the condition that kept me in it. I found if my mind was kept busy and focused elsewere” that was the key to feeling better, mind you it did not happen over night but slowly over time with ups and downs. The power is in you the individual to overcome ,it can be done , if i can do it anyone can. Thanks for reinforcing this knowledge. Mark

  15. steph Says:

    hey all thanks for your advice, still feel tense and anxious today! feel overwhelmed with everything i have loads of uni work to catch up with. I know im under pressure and thats prob why im feeling like this again, i have been getting on with it but it is hard to not feel bit dissapointed at how well u were doing then you have set back. i suppose me feeling great for whole week really positive, sleeping right through and not waking to feel of dread is a big step and must be getting better to have such long period of being ok! i do get these bodily reactions also, feel a lot of tension in my neck shoulders sometimes so bad i can hardly look down! head feels fuzzy, tingly eyes strained, tightness round forehead, n neck n jaw feels so tense at times! its obviously anxiety related i tell myself as it only really happens when im like that.

    Paul- just wondered if you could advise me on where i might be going wrong with accepting? im so strong at times and i force myself to get out and do things at all times even when i feel like running off! tk care all x

  16. Mark Says:

    One more bit of advice , a excellent way to take the focus off your self is to redirect it to a greater cause be it to family, friends or someone or something that requires your help. Mark

  17. Frederic Floyd Says:

    hey steph

    about facebook, you can set your profile to a more private mode by going to ‘privacy’ in the top right corner of the screen.

    and with facebook, i have a lot of people i dont talk to even if they talk to me. The cyberworld is pretty messed up that way, but people dont take offence like you’d think they would. Its not the same as walking down the street and ignoring a friend.

    Ive felt the panic you described in the past. Is it like ”oh my god, what have I done ?! Ive done it now ! ” sort of thing ?

    I used to get this badly 2 years ago. Seems to be much better now. I can now think of mistakes (which i used to think were irrideemable and catastrophic) and think ‘ yeh i did it, so what’

    so yeh, chat away on facebook, its fun, but dont put all your personal info up, or anything you dont want anybody seeing.

  18. jo Says:

    hi all, just reading stephs post, i can totally sympathise with you steph, ive had a couple of good weeks, then i started a new job, and now im in a right staight.

    like you steph i also make myself do things, even though sometimes the fear can be overwhellming, im having a particularly bad couple of days, i feel like ive forgotten everything paul has taught me in his book and on here, and all the horrible scary thoughts, and feelings of dread have come back with a vengance.
    Im finding it so hard to not obsess,like my minds gone into overdrive, trying to feel better, and I have no control over it, Im constantly thinking, oh my god Im never gonna be free of this, this is my life now, which I know is totally the wrong thing to do.

    Im putting so much pressure on myself, Im getting married in july, and im doing exactly what paul says not to do, and that is giving myself a timescale to get better, even though i know its totally the wrong thing to do.

    I guess im just feeling a bit lost, and wondered if anyone has any advice.
    jo x

  19. samantha Says:

    hi everyone

    just wondered if anyone gets a feeling of despair its like a wave that comes over me and its hard to accept along with the thoughts of i will always be like this and will never feel myself again. i still carry on with my life but these episodes are beginning to worry me

    if anyone can relate or offer advice i would be grateful just to know someone else has this will help me as when i mention it to my doctor they just look at me blankly

    samantha

  20. jo Says:

    hi samantha,
    You’re deffinately not alone with the way you feel. I have been getting the same feelings you have mentioned ,over the last couple of days ive been having a tough time with the anxiety, the main problem being the thought that this is my life now, im never going to get better. and yes i do get that feeling, that im getting desperate, and just want it to stop, which i know is totally the wrong thing to do.

    I can sympathise with you totally, I seem to have gone off track a bit at the mo, even though i have had some really good days, I just cant shake the feelings of fear, and the “what ifs?”

    I keep coming to Pauls site, to reassure myself that im not going mad, and that I can recover, but right now i seem to have lost all my fight.

    It does help to know that there are so many people lik me, and that im not alone.
    Jo x

  21. Shirley D. Says:

    Ok, it’s Shirley D. For Samantha and Jo.
    At Christmas I was at desperations door it was the most horrible feeling, I was even banging my head against the wall (literally) to make this horrible thing go away, I was so wound up I couldn’t shed a tear. Pacing the floor like a caged tiger, hyperventilating, sweating during the coldest nights. Awful sleep deprivation. I kept shooting up in bed in the hope of shaking off these horrible feelings.
    When I found this site it was the best thing that had happened to me. I was on it morning, noon and night. It was hard to read because my vision was blurry and I had great difficulty concentrating on anything, I cried when I saw that I wasn’t the only one who was suffering. My words were ‘I want this thing to stop’ ‘I want to be back to the old me”When will it ever end’? Everything was ‘what if’s’ Nearly every thought was accentuated because of the adrenilin, I was scared of driving, opening my eyes in the morning, watching the television, couldn’t concentrate on a book – my life was gone as I knew it. But, but, here we are in April and my life is 85% better and improving every day – not because I’ve had a lottery win or anything like that but because I kept going back to the site, reading other people’s helpful information, got round to buying Paul’s book and reading it and finally understanding that fighting does not do any good, I was lucky, it only took me about two weeks to make the command ‘do your damndest and see if I care’ to be accepted by the anxiety ‘bug’. Today I feel no anxiety at all, I can cry at all my sad songs – which helps me release my pressure on a less than good day. My life is still the same but I have learnt to accept that no amount of worrying will change ANYTHING. I can read so much of myself into your words above and feel the desperation that I once felt. I go to Paul’s site now because I want to see if others are progressing, not to check if this symptom or that symptom is attached to anxiety. Each person must progress at their own pace but my message to you both is that to me even 6 weeks ago there was no end in sight, today, I can indeed tell you that I have seen sight of the end and it feels very good!!!!! I was once a shrunken lady and now I can finally stand up straight and tall. Hope this helps you accept that even the worst, worst case (like I was) is able to get better, and each step of the way helps you gain strength which is the most important thing.

  22. No More Anxiety Says:

    Shirly is right, Its all about learning and understanding the message and following it through, I can advise all day but its up to people what they do with it. A lot of the time though it is because they mis understand something or fall back into a habit, they may think they have to feel perfect or they are doing something wrong. You don’t, my motto was ‘Just accept anything, don’t aim to feel right otherwise you will just end up fighting again’

    Don’t care if you have gone off track, that’s o.k its just a setback, but allow yourself this setback, don’t try to fight or think your way out of it. Again you say you are going down the road of ‘This is me forever, ill never get better’ you can’t be allowing yourself to feel like this otherwise you would not make this statement. That statement says to me that you just want this damn thing to go away, don’t wish it away, just live with it there, it is just a feeling, its again about patience and your attitude to the way you feel.

    Jo you say…….like you steph i also make myself do things, even though sometimes the fear can be overwhellming, im having a particularly bad couple of days, i feel like ive forgotten everything paul has taught me in his book and on here, and all the horrible scary thoughts, and feelings of dread have come back with a vengance.

    Let them come back with avengence, you are making the mistake of thinking you must not feel like this to be on the right track, let the horrible thoughts come back, don’t try to figure out why they have, you will just end up going round in circles. They will come back through habit, memory, a stressful day, whatever, its all aprt of the process and its how you react that is important. I can see the self-pity start, the shoulders slump, the questing starting all over again, the ‘Why me, I must be doing something wrong’ You should just say’Well my anxiety is high today, but its fine’ yes you will feel awful, but you are breaking the cycle of all the worrying and self-pity and your setback will just be that, a setback that without all the fuel you are giving it, it will pass a lot quicker, NEVER make the mistake of thinking you must feel perfect, or fight to feel a certain way, the way you felt last week etc…

    Im finding it so hard to not obsess,like my minds gone into overdrive, trying to feel better, and I have no control over it, Im constantly thinking, oh my god Im never gonna be free of this, this is my life now, which I know is totally the wrong thing to do.

    You also say……….Im putting so much pressure on myself, Im getting married in july, and im doing exactly what paul says not to do, and that is giving myself a timescale to get better, even though i know its totally the wrong thing to do.

    You have answered your own question there, you are becoming impatient, you still don’t want the bad days, welcome the bad days instead of shrinking from them, don’t watch how your feeling or question it ‘How do i feel today’ ‘What do I need to do’ you don’t need to do anything, just change your attitude to the way you feel and don’t care if you feel bad or not, this is the problem you are building your whole day and mood around how you feel, you are not accepting the day for what it is.

    Paul

  23. rick Says:

    Hi Everyone
    I posted a few weeks ago on the positive notes, and yes im still great. For those who read it , im working away at the moment, and it hasn’t been easy. The first week was supprisingly ok and i thought that it would be a breeze after then, however it probably tested me more than ever the weeks that have followed. if im honest ive had scary thoughts poping in and drifting out, times where ive been so wrapped up with the scary thoughts that at one time i never thought i was going to get home or see my girlfriend again. times when ive felt like im dieing of cancer or worse. obsesing about terriable tings that could affect me. And Just generally feeling like giving up. But, i haven’t Ok it very very hard at times but im still hear, still Rick no one can change that and certainly not anxiety, It’s temporary and i dont intend to give it one bit of satisfaction that it will be there forever. I have come so far since last year i was literally a nervous wreck 24/7 working away back then would have been like walking me to hell’s gates itself. Im currently very happy with my progression even if these thoughts are with me for the time being. I feel better than ive felt in ages and i no that its only bad habit that keeps these thought alive. I hope some of what i have explained may help some of you.
    Rick

  24. jo Says:

    hi,
    shirley, just wanted to say,thankyou for your post. reading it was like someone had written my story. every symptom, every feeling sounded just like my own, especially the fear of opening your eyes, I seemed to have a fear of everything, getting up in the morning, taking the kids to school, cooking dinner, you name it, I was afraid of it!
    but now I have read how well you have been doing, has given me the reassurance and strength to get back on track.

    Paul, thankyou for your advice, I can see where ive been going wrong,
    I was letting myself be overwhelmed by the anxiety, and was starting to fight it again instead of just letting it come and go as it pleases.
    I have always had the habit of trying to be “perfect” in everything I do,
    say for example, I would obsess about the house being spotless, but how can it be when ive got 4 kids running round!

    you have both made me realise how much progress I have actually made since november when all this started, I was just like you shirley, but now
    I can see how much i have improved.

    Pauls site has been, great, I use it all the time as well as the book,
    Its so good to read about other peoples experiances,just knowing I m not alone.
    A big thankyou to shirley and paul, and everyone here, I hope I can oneday to reach recovery, and be the one to give the advice.
    thankyou, Jo x

  25. Leanne Says:

    Everyday I am gettin’ better. Thats not to say I don’t have my bad days. Thats not to say that when I think weird things, I briefly question whether I am mad. Thats not to say that I don’t sometimes wonder if my heart’s still beating, or that if i were to stop breathing would I die? Thats not to say if I can’t think of a word I panic. But it hardly happens now you see. Its really rather rare. its because my poor body and mind are getting better. Today a lady at London Bridge seemed to be fainting and panicking on the platform and I sat with her for half an hour, she was all stressed and couldn’t control herself and was nearly sick. I asked her if she was worried about anything is it a particular stressful day? And she said yes. I explained that a job’s a job. That she should take her time, and who cares? Just take your time and she calmed down. Sometimes when I am giving this advice I feel like I am trying to convince myself as well. Which makes me wonder if I truly believe in myself. Does anyone else get that?

  26. Paul McGowan Says:

    Sometimes i am finding it really difficult just to accept all the dp and racing thoughts, it seems to go against the grain and i fall into the trap of checking up on myself , and monitoring if i’m feeling good or bad , it is difficult and i do try and persist with it , but it seems some of my habits are provin really hard to break , after all i have been in these habits for years , any feedback would be greatly appreciated !
    thanx
    Paul

  27. Manuella Says:

    Hello guys.

    Sometimes I’m feeling really great and all the racing thoughts come to ruin in for me…well, they still bother me, but not as much.
    Like now, for instance. I read all the posts and after Shirley’s and Leanne’s, was feeling quite happy…then I read something a little sad, like some posts above, and start getting reaaally anxious. But…(always a but), I will not run away or hide myself. It’s annoying, yep, and suffocating, yep, will go away? Sure thing! I’m learning and it takes time.
    I now understand what Paul said in some posts. He said some people read the book once and then the next day they feel amazing, and come here to comment and thank him for everything. It’s a relief to finally have someone who trully understands what’s going on with us. Then after a few days they come back and said: hey! It’s not working! What happened to those great days?
    Takes times, takes patience. I’ve been coming here for two months now. At some points I doubted, I felt like running to meds, I cried…and realised it’s a journey of acceptance and that I wasn’t allowing my mind to accept. For instance, the monitoring…I do it systematically too, Paul…but when I get to this “nirvana” point (lol), the real “WHATEVER” point…wow! Feels good!

    I would love to explain bit by bit how it works, but it’s hard! It’s like a little chat on the backstage: hey Manuella, feeling quite anxious? Yes, well..never mind, it won’t hurt you…keep talking to your friend (or working, or exercising).

    Excuse me for being so prolix! It’s therapeutic! lol

    xxx

  28. Leanne Says:

    “I would love to explain bit by bit how it works, but it’s hard! It’s like a little chat on the backstage: hey Manuella, feeling quite anxious? Yes, well..never mind, it won’t hurt you…keep talking to your friend (or working, or exercising).”

    I get this as well.

    I like the Nirvana reference. :-)

    “Oh well whatever, nevermind.”

  29. Manuella Says:

    Leanne! Brilliant!

    Nevermind! loool…and I swear, I was thinking more buddhism then Kobain…

    I guess Kurt was buddist monk and we didn’t know. :D

  30. No More Anxiety Says:

    Niravana nevermind…brilliant, you girls rock…one of my fave artists and what a title for an album….. : )

    By the way manuella, your positive attitude is a joy to see, always nice to see you posting.

    Paul

  31. Tarmo Says:

    Paul McGowan – You say you’ve been living with dp for years already so ofcourse recovery takes more time too. Some people here write that they’ve been struggling since last november and this makes me think that these people are really lucky to have found the right advice so quickly. I had been suffering with 24/7 dp for a few years before I found any answers and it took a while until any information started sinking in because I was so numb. The recipe is same for us all, we “oldschool dp people” just need to give it more time. And for us it seems to be essential to keep re-reading when it all seems to be forgotten.

  32. Jeff Says:

    Paul M, I can relate. The dp and racing mind do pop up a lot for me. The difference now is I realize that all the other sensations it used to bring with it was just my adrenalin shaking things up. For many months, even if I felt good, as soon as I had a thought (or more to the point started self monitoring myself) a terrible cycle of dp and anxiety would start all over again. Now when it happens I take a deep breath and tell myself you know what this is and move on. Sometimes it stays around for awhile (like an unwanted house guest that won’t leave) but most of the time I let myself go on to something else and it goes away on it’s own. Recently I’ve had about 6 week of very little anxiety, so I feel confident if you just let it be you will see yourself improving.

  33. Paul McG Says:

    Thanks everyone for taking the time to post , i do think i’m quite patient with things and i have taken everything on board that Paul has said and also the priceless comments and experiences other sufferers have posted on here , this blog is a lifeline and a point of contact which cotinues to provide valued support , feel as if i have some friends on here !! anyway i know i have made progress , the dp is what took things to another level for me , it just stripped me of the ability to think straight , make important decisions and generally deal with life , is it any wonder we just want it to go away ! , i know i cant force it to go , i can see that ! , and i know it will beat me if i do ! . I do feel better today , funny that , Like someone else said ” They never had any good days before ” , so we must be moving in the right direction .
    Thanks Again
    Take Care
    Paul ( That goes for all you ROCK lovers as well ! lol !!)

  34. No More Anxiety Says:

    I will be honest, I was the same I had d.p 24/7 no breaks, no hope, no information, no way out. I actually decided just to live with it instead of fighting it, not that will make me better or anything, I just thought it was the easiest and most productive thing to do. I had d.p for a long time after, a long time but in time it just got easier and easier, I suffer no d.p whatsoever now, none and trust me I never thought I would see that day. I think my attitude saved me a lot of suffering as if someone had said, do this and you will recover, I would have got impatient, this is not working, maybe thought I was missing something, then the fighting and trying to do something about it would have started again.

    Whatever happens do the same, don’t think about recovery or watch as the days pass by, just decided to live with it come what may, put no pressure on yourself to feel this way or that way, that’s a battle you will lose for sure.

    Paul

  35. steph Says:

    hi all, how is everyone? i can really relate to what jo said i am the same with perfection thing, think iv always had it but since iv been a mum everything has become more intense!! It slike i worry constantly about my daughter, she quite shy only with people she doesnt know or bigger kids it takes her a while to come out of her shell and i worry she’l become anxious later on in life as my dad suffers with anxiety/depression and my um has in past also! i know its bit soon to be worrying i didnt used to worry to this extent n not bout things like that untill recently, it really gets to me! i like everyone else has good days but even tho im getting on with the bad n carrying on the same there are times when i feel so sad like im in world of my own and not even listenin to whoever im with and this worries me!! i musnt be 100% accepting, any advice where im going wrong?? I also get these feelings of despair which are really overwhelming at times where i think i wont even be able to do the smallest task like daily chores or things with my daughter,being a mum! id just really appreciate any advice off anyone on how to deal with off days and any mums or dads who have any tips to cope better with kids when feeling like this? thanx for listening and hope evone is well x

  36. Jeff Says:

    Hi Steph
    I have 2 beautiful kids who are now 11 and 14 and have spent many a days through their lifetimes with extreme anxiety wondering how to deal. The key is to focus on them not yourself. I know at times this seems a difficult task but laugh with her, engage her in conversation take an interest in everything she does. I believe over time this will dramatically ease your fear and worry. Sometimes something as simple as a hug used to help me a lot. Also rememder I childs love is unconditional, don’t worry about how you act or appear in front of them. They will love you no matter what.

  37. Paul McG Says:

    The 24/7 no breaks has definately been me for many years , i didnt see a way out and no one was giving me any answers , i even went for a brain scan , i can look back on that and laugh now , knowing how ridiculous that really was , but in saying that i feel for all those who are out there still pondering and worrying about what is wrong with them , resentment also , for the medical worlds , inability to recognise the misery anxiety can bring and not even in some cases being able to make a diagnosis or provide an explanation for the symptoms ! The only part of the day i used to look forward to was bedtime , the only time i knew i’d be free from what is , with no knowledge a very worrying sensation , only to wake up with my nerves tied in knots ! The thing is , i know better now ! , to think , with this knowledge , i could have been free from all that needless suffering , only getting worse instead of better , i am so thankfull , that the day came where i found the answers , cause i didnt think they would ever come , there are days i truly feel able to enjoy life , like looking across the countryside where i live and taking it all in , enjoying the sights and sounds , that once were soo muted ! every day still brings its challenges , but i am much better equipped to deal with them ! Thanks for the words Paul ! sometimes things just need reinforcing !

    tc all
    Paul

  38. Shirley D. Says:

    I remember having a form of anxiety when I was about 11 the first time.
    My second onslaught of horrible feelings appeared at the age of 18 and probably lasted about a week, they came back again for about another 3 weeks and dissapeared. My next lot of feelings came in 1996 and lasted for about 3 years. These were full blown panic attacks and I suffered with them at least three and four times a day. Funnily enough they went when my first husband left me – it was the threat of him leaving and not knowing when he was going to do it which caused the panics. I was out of control of my future. When he left I calmed down completely, I realised then that however horrible these feelings were they couldn’t kill me.
    So, this brings us around to last September, a combination of stresses got in the saucepan and boiled right over the top – manifesting itself into severe anxiety, so yes I may have been lucky enough to ‘get over’ my most recent episode quite quickly but I have suffered with one form or another of anxiety/panic for a good number of years on and off.
    This time around I was lucky enough to have a computer, inquisitive typing fingers and was guided to this web page, which has been my constant source of information and encouragement.
    You may not have sympathetic people around you or people that don’t understand what you are going through but it is all here on these wonderful pages, the reasons to get better and the ways to get better.
    We are a very strongly bonded group who have no faces but we all have the same sufferings and we are all here to help each other because we all have something in common and neither of us judge one another.
    Today, i have been to see the doctor, he was a locum and I’ve never met a more sympathetic man, I told him that i found that my Beta blockers were interfering with my concentration and can I start reducing the dosage, he congratulated me on my progress and was very genuinely pleased for ME – this man that I had never met before – i floated out of that surgery on a cushion of air.
    Listen to your body, it will tell you when it is ready to move on to the next step, don’t try to push it.

  39. jo Says:

    hi guys
    steph, I have 2 kids, the first is 11, and the second is 5, and i also have 2 step kids aged 10 and 6, I think Jeff is totally right when he says try to focus on your kids, for example, yesterday i was doing a few jobs in the garden, and the 2 little was came out, so I got them to pick the weeds, which they thought was great fun, just watching the 2 of them, took my mind off the bad feelings, and so we spent the whole afternoon out there, we even had a little picnic, as the weather was so nice!
    I know i havent been the nicest person to be around for a while now and i do get quite irritable sometimes, especially when there are so many toys on the floor, i cant remeber what colour the carpet is! lol ( thats the perfection thing again!) so now im learning to take a step back, and just watch them for a while, that makes me realise how lucky i am to have them all.
    my eldest is amazing, on my bad days she sometimes catches me having a bit of a cry, so she gives me a big cuddle and says I know your not well mum, but its not your fault, then she tells me she loves me.
    dont get me wrong they can also be naughty as hell, with their arguing and fighting! but I try to not let it bother me too much anymore.
    I also worry steph, about my eldest, she is quite grown up for her age, and sometimes i see alot of me in her, she is so sensitive and i worry that she may end up like me when shes older.
    Its hard enough being a mum, when you feel normal, but coping with anxiety as well, I think you should be really proud of yourself, with how far you have come.
    I understand when you say you have feelings of despare about doing the most simple tasks, i get that too, but i make myself do them, and if im having a really bad day, i try writting down everything i have achieved that day, it helps me see how well im doing, its like giving yourself a bit of a pat on the back.
    I hope this helps, take care all. Jo

  40. Anthony Says:

    Last night was pretty rough for me. I was actually having a pretty good day. Ran a few errands, visited my fiance at her work. Once I got to my work, I started feeling depressed. I was trying to hold back tears, but I think a few people noticed. I called my fiance and started crying. Does anxiety cause depression? I never felt this way before my anxiety came back. I know it has to do with my thinking. I’ve been doing the “floating” for several weeks now. But once in a while, it gets to me.

  41. Shirley D. Says:

    Anthony,
    You are lucky that you can cry, it is a good way of releiving your tensions, plus the fact that you are a lad, and have openly admitted on here that you cried – how brave is that???? Men aren’t supposed to cry are they, but to me you have been the bravest person going to admit to your emotions, that’s what this site does – it helps people open up to the feelings they have, again you know that no-one will judge you because we are all the same..I can’t advise anything about depression because luckily i haven’t suffered with it, though I suppose some people can confuse depression with being really down.
    I nearly fainted in the Job Centre on Friday morning, I am on job seekers allowance and was told that because my assessment was being made on means testing and I have part ownership in a house I am no longer living in I might have my benefit denied. I have no income – how am I going to live? Trying desperately to find a job. The advisor just sat there and said – ‘ it happens’ I instantly panicked – how can I live on thin air? She then advised me to call the benefit line and see how they were doing with my claim so that I didn’t worry over the weekend. They have put my mind at rest but there I was sat with someone who knew my situation of anxiety and it was piled onto my shoulders in an instant – I felt like I had been punched. I’m afraid the words – take away all income from me – see if I care couldn’t help me in that moment.
    I tried to keep the tears back, it was a beautiful day and my new found confidence was taken out of me in an instant.
    In the afternoon I went to a new doctor and he heaped praise on my shoulders regarding my progress with the anxiety and once again I was soaring like a kite.
    Friday morning – desperation Friday afternoon – hope and reinstated confidence – all in a few short hours.

  42. Tom McGurk Says:

    folks. i have had the worst week of my life ever. but reading some of your posts has helped me so much. back in september last year i started seeing a counsellor who had the same regime as pauls book. in 9 sessions with him i went from a rating of over 40 on the anxiety inventory to single figures. a month of flying solo followed, then a booster session and through those last weeks i tried coming of my meds – paroxetine. ive now been off them 6 weeks and flying solo. doing well i thought. until last week. first major setback and i have been in despair ever since. some days last week i couldnt get out of bed. no life, empty, distraught. the panic had a field day. even now as i write this in work, its having its time, but i HAVE been able to just accept it being there and not run home. until today i didnt see any light at the end of the tunnel. last week i even felt like ending it all. i have 4 kids and a troubled marriage, and i see now that keeping this troubled marriage from my counsellor was not a good idea – he didnt know about that being an added stressor in my life. anyway today i have a small spark of hope after reading your posts. yesterday was the first break i had for 5 days – how did i get it? i did a jigsaw for 2 hours with my youngest twin!!! thanks everyone, keep up the positive vibes

  43. Tarmo Says:

    Tom that’s rough time you’re having there, but please keep going because no matter how bad you feel, you can get up again. I just talked to a person yesterday who had earlier in her life fallen in such a pit that that she had tried to take her life away. Luckily she failed in her attempt as she is now, years after the incident, a happy and active beautiful human being. I got to know her recently and right now when I look at her it’s hard to believe she has such a rough past. But that’s what it’s all about: when we are living in such misery we are not ourselves. I mean, misery is not who we really are, altough it seems so from that low angle. When we finally get up and start shining again it all seems very different.

  44. Shirley D. Says:

    Tom Mc,

    I think we all go through the stage of considering ending it all, just fleeting thoughts of it because we know we have too much to leave behind, it wouldn’t be fair if we did. I found it just had something to do with how much lower you could go and would anybody really miss you? I felt i was making a nuisance of myself with the constant ‘drawing attention to myself’ people who had never heard about anxiety before just gave me the ‘Oh Yeh’ attitude.
    It’s really not suprising that you feel like you do if your marriage is dodgy and you know that 4 children could be hurt in the event that it all came to an end. Also, you have said goodbye to major things which were helping you – medication, counselling.
    Once again my saviour was finding this website, I never thought that I could recover, the feelings were so intense, but recover I have, so please stay positive – I love jigsaws!!!! keep returning to the website too, it took me lots of reading before I went on the path of recovery but eventually it sinks in and makes such sense.

  45. candie Says:

    Hi Everyone, i used to avoid any level of anxiety what so ever, and whenever i experienced any i took more medication! Well the point im trying to make is we must remember that sometimes anxiety is suposed to be there!

    Take Shirleys second to last post, she had a predicament at the jobcentre, everyone would feel anxcious at a time like that is only natural. Remember our goal is to have a healthy level of anxiety, not rid ourselfs of it all together as it is a vital part of our survival instinct. I do understand however that us anxiety sufferers feel more anxious in situations like Shirleys then someone who doesnt suffer anxiety though.

    It’s funny how anxiety tricks our mind at times. I was really bad with my nerves last year, and the daftest thing would make me anxious, like i couldnt sleep with scissors in my bedroom or lighters in fear of harming someone unknowingly sleep walking… it petrified me! Yet i had a court summons (which i was totally cleared of!) had to stand infront of loads of professionals, read out a page of writing and swear on a bible… all i did without any anxiety, shaking, nervousness or stuttering. I just wasn’t phased by it at all!!! Strange i know!!!

  46. Tom McGurk Says:

    thanks everyone for your comments. sometimes i think im not STRONG enough to get through this, and then i remember that i dont really have to DO anything, just accept. This morning i awoke with some nausea and thought once more about not coming into work. but then i remembered pauls words. its just a feeling. if i feel nauseous all day, then so be it, i may as well feel nauseous in work than at home on my own. but its sooo hard!!! hard to accept and relax towards these feelings when im so low.

  47. Shirley D. Says:

    Tom,
    Just remember we are all rooting for you, like we all are for each other.
    When a cry goes out for help, like you need at the moment, I feel so much stronger to pass the vibes down the line that the nausea is something that will pass like every other symptom. Stay strong. Don’t dwell on it, distract yourself. i just wish that I had known all this when I began on my road of horror.
    Shirley

  48. Tarmo Says:

    When “trying to accept” becomes “accept”, even for a very short period, is when everything really starts to come together. It shouldn’t take any effort (because then it becomes trying) but it sure does take a lot of patience! Keep your heads up everyone, it’s all within reach!

  49. No More Anxiety Says:

    Yes Tarmo is right and this is something I am going to add in my book, if you spend all day trying to accept, you end up again trying again to do something about it, it then becomes a ‘DO’ and recovery is all about ‘not do’.

    It should just be an attitude and trust me it does come in time. You don’t have to go around saying ‘I must accept this thing’ just go with it, if that phrase helps more, don’t put up any resistance.

    Paul

  50. JR Says:

    Ok all I’m really struggling at the moment. I really don’t know what happened. I’ve read Paul’s book and couldn’t believe how much sense it made. I kept the book close around in case I would need some help or guidance. I also visit this site to get help and support. This blog is great.

    I started feeling a lot better and started having periods (maybe a few minutes and slow I would fade back into the full dp state) where my dp faded and I almost 100%. It felt so great. I guess I started getting busy at work and stopped visiting the website and reading, I guess I thought I knew it all and my anxiety was fading away. But then all of a sudden I started feeling really bad and falling into bad habits. I felt good at work for a few days when I felt good and could talk and goof around with coworkers everything kind of opened up and I started to see the world again and felt like I could connect and have “more like me” comments. Now I’m scared to talk again because I don’t feel like me or I guess the don’t know who I am feeling is causing me to question everything I say. The panicy feelings are back and my heart just runs and I feel so confused on where I went wrong. I want to move forward, but I’m so confused. Also, does anyone constantly look back and analyze how they felt at this time last year or so on? I’m just so hard on myself in my mind and don’t know what to do.

  51. Manuella Says:

    Morning J.R;

    If I can give you any advice on that matter, it would be: don’t fall in this trap. Don’t feel sorry for yourself because you had a setback…so what? You’re still the same person, same spirit, just having a bad time and it’s not permanent.
    Some days I wake up and feel so great, then the day goes by and I fall into the self-pity circle, feeling sorry and confused because I’m a anxiety sufferer. I can see clearly now (that’s a song, isn’t it?) where’s the mistake…most of us are very analytical and a bit impatient…we also tend to feel guilty about having a laugh one day and not being at our best the other.
    Don’t be too pushy, respect your own time, don’t feel guilty because you didn’t read the blog when you felt better…read now, think about all the information…it’s just a little setback, won’t do you any harm.

    Hope my post helps you in some way.

    xxx

  52. Beth Says:

    I am a faithful reader but have never posted. It is so ironic that you would take about trying to accept. I have had some great improvement thanks to your site, but I struggle with physical symptoms in periods of setback. Last night I was thinking, “Why am I not seeing improvement? I am trying to accept.” Then I realized that I am probably using as much energy “trying” to accept as I was fighting against it. I think by nature, most of us are doers and fixers and it is hard to have patience with yourself when you are used to fixing things.
    Thanks for all of the great advice.

  53. No More Anxiety Says:

    JR, If you read the book you will know that you will have setbacks and you should allow yourself to do so, don’t read the book and then ignore certain parts as though this wont happen. Recovery without setbacks is very rare, you have been through so much, memory and habit will bring feelings back. You have to go through it many times before it dampens. You have made the classic mistake of thinking ‘I feel great I have cracked it, that’s the end of that’ then when feelings return(which they will do) you have gone down the road of self pity and questioning it all over again, I warn against this all of the time. It is never how you feel but your attitude towards it, its just a feeling after all, don’t see it as a big monster.

    Remember to enjoy the good days and don’t get to down about the bad. I don’t think there is one person on here although improved a lot does not have setbacks, there all part of the process, so don’t worry about them or start to question everything again, just go with it come what may.

    Paul

  54. jo Says:

    hi JR,
    have just read your post, I had a setback today, I was having the best day for a while like you I felt back to my old self, generally mucking about and having a giggle with hubby, until I went out in my car, and had someone drive into the back of me, It didnt cause any damage lucky, but it has left me with the same old feelings of fear and panic, I know its just a setback, but I guess, Im a bit dissapointed in myself for letting it get to me.

    but reading paul, and manuellas posts, makes me realise that it is just a setback, and they will happen occasionally.

    we just need to give ourselves time to get back on track, and not fall into the trap of self pity (im and expert at that believe me!)

    It helps me no end knowing that ive got pauls book, and so many fab people here who have so much good advice, just knowing you’re all here and that you really understand how i feel, makes the hard times a lot easier.

    Just stay strong and have faith in yourself, you have been through an awful lot, and should be proud of yourself, you have come so far.

    Jo xx

  55. Shirley D. Says:

    Too right, today/this weekend has been a slight set back for me. 3 different directions of uncertainty have brought this on. Feeling pretty damned miserable actually, last weekend I decided I felt so much stronger and that maybe I could cope without the Beta blockers – I left them off for four days, then I went for interviews Wednesday and Thursday and realised that once again I was unlikely to get either, I know I did well going, wasn’t nervous at either but knew I might like the one job and just thought what a fat chance it will be if I get it. My money worries continue (I know lots of people are in the same boat) but it has returned my negativity. Decided to return to the Beta blockers because I now have to deal with marriage break down issues with my solicitor. Just needed that little extra backing again.
    Stayed in bed today until lunch – what was the point in getting up? Yesterday there was Sun, today there is dullness, both in my mood and the sky above.
    But, saying that I am still miles better than I was 6 weeks ago.

  56. Paul McG Says:

    Shirley !
    No doubt you’ve got issues to deal with that , in normal circumstances would be very emmotional and stressfull , but on the back of anxiety ? , well need i say more !!
    The most important thing is , you dont let this temporary phase , swamp the progress you know , you have made ! One thing is for sure and , that is , this part in your life , will not last forever , and when you come out the other end , you will be a better person for it ! These issues are bound to hold you back , just try and deal with them as a seperate issue , to your anxiety , because they are !
    Dont forget the Virgo in you !!!
    Paul

  57. steph Says:

    Hey everyone, hope everyone is doing good. ive been managing quite well these last couple of weeks, sleepin, eating better etc. as a result of me feelin ‘my old self’ i went oput with my friends on a night out last night, which i have been avoiding as i normally suffer bad with hangovers an anxiety twice as bad next day!! Also (soz to mention drugs on here) the cirle of friends i have all take rec drugs infact i hardly know anybody in my surroundings who doesnt (scary). i also did when i would go out,which would only be once or twice month if that drink to excess and use cocaine to stop me from becoming too drunk(makes sense,not!).This is another reason i avoid going out as i know when im drunk the temptation is there and i admitt is hard to turn down, i havent been out and last time i did i didnt use anything but last night i did, and im so ashamed and angry with myself as i fear ill be back to square one with my anxiety! i feel so selfish that itl be self inflicted and im really sorry for bringing it up, i just needed to tell someone how i was feeling! i automaticaly think if i go on night out even drug free ill end up bk to square one! but iv got to think im just the same jus a little hungoverand itl pass, but i worry that it will have some huge effect on my mental health and it will detieroiate and ill end up with some severe mental illness! dramatic i know, then i know its the anxiety heightened due to my hangover. id just appreciate any advice from paul or anybody who has been in the same situation! and some reassurance really that my healtrh isnt going to dterioate and iv got the knowlegde to help myself if i do have any anxious episodes as i have been these last couple of weeks. i guess i think when i start to feel better i can live my life like all my m8s and how i used to years ago, but iv got take it easy while out else i suffer ! i wouldnt mind i never drink ever eat healthy work out(now n then!!) yet every now n then have a little blowout but always beat myself up about it, why do we do this ?? hope iv not offended anyone by my post and waffled bit too much, id really appreciate bit of friendly advice off anyone who been here. thanx, take care all x

  58. Rick Says:

    Hi steph
    Im in exactly the same boat, although i have’t touched cocain since i became ill. Im doing alot better but when i go out with my friends i find it very hard not to go over the top with the drinks. I suppose its like when ive had a couple it feels like im my ”old self” and that gives me the confidence to drink more. Then the next day i really regret it more than ever. Like last weekend id had a good night out but then on the sunday it felt like id got a hyper over awareness of myself and ended up being ill… it does feel better tho to have these ”blow outs” it just a release for me because im so tense alot of the time. Its no good trying to make sence out of how we feel just let the feelings pass however scary they are. Me personally, i struddle with the dp and the obsessive thoughts but hay i no they wont be with me forever. Stay positive and enjoy the times out..
    Rick

  59. Shirley D. Says:

    Thank you Paul Mcg for your support – feeling lots better tonight.

  60. Shirley D. Says:

    The good news for me is that I’m not thinking – when will I sleep better because that has improved. I’m not thinking when will my anxiety get better because that too has improved. My thoughts are – why won’t someone employ me? – I have sent so many applications and only receive a couple of replies. To have an interview is a miracle and when that comes to no good it all seems such a waste. Starting again.
    Monday is here, what is the point in getting out of bed, no job to go to? The same old drudge of signing on every two weeks and always hoping that maybe in the next two weeks I am going to be employed. Sorry another downer.

  61. Paul McG Says:

    Steph !
    I dont think anyone on this blog will be offended by your comments , unfortunately i would say many peoples anxiety problems begin , whether they know it or not , by taking recreational drugs ! I speak from experience , so i would never dream of lecturing anyone else on the subject , but only pass on my own experience and thoughts on this !
    I have suffered like many for years with anxiety , 15 in fact but only about 3 with severe anxiety symptoms . I would do anything now just to have my life back , which is so much more valuable , than 1 night high on cocaine , ecstacy , speed or canabis ! If only i had known then what i experience now . I cant blame them entirely , because many other things have gone on , but they definately contributed , you know that feeling the day after a drug intake , the uneasy , spaced out sensations , that play havoc with your nerves , well they mirror the symptoms of anxiety , its like a come down for me that has lasted for too long now !
    Alcohol has the same effect , its a depressant , although alright at the time , it can cause heightened anxiety for days after , especially if you’ve gone on a bender , like we all tend to do these days , its a relatively new drinking habit but once again not ideal for us anxiety sufferers !
    I suppose what i’m trying to say is Steph , if you want to be sure total recovery from anxiety isw going to be achievable for you , then forget about the drugs , it surely cant be worth it , Its not for me , been there ! , as for alcohol , if you dont drink much in the week , then i suppose a blowout , every now and then is inevitable , and wont kill you , but for anxiety’s sake alcohol intake should be taken seriously , being sure your not over doing it , and causing your symptoms to persist !
    I hope this has helped , other people may not agree with me , after all its only my opinion , but i feel my journey through the years , has taught me valuable lessons , and by passing them on , may help people from continuing making the same mistakes !

    Paul McG

  62. Mark G Says:

    Hi All

    Does anyone else have recurring thoughts about existence, why we’re here ?, who am i ? etc ? That coupled with this “out of body / looking at myself” feeling, which i suppose is DP ?, is the one thing that seems to make my anxiety flair up again.

    When i look back, i’ve been suffering with panic attacks/anxiety for 10(ish) years. I was put on anti-depressants during a pretty rubbish relationhip in which i drank excessively. I managed to get out in Jan 2006, move back to my parents and slowly came off the meds. I started exercising regularly and lost 2st. I met a fantastic girl and all through 2006 and 2007 i felt great. We got engaged and brought our own house last year. Shortly afterwards, the panic attacks started creeping back in, and in Jan this year i made the horrible mistake of taking cannabis whilst on a night out !! Panic City. I was convinced that i was going to die, and that was it. I cried, kept my girlfriend up until 1:30am. Eventually, i was sick, and fell asleep. For the next week, i felt weird, and went on a downward spiral. Ever since then, i’ve been left with anxiety 24/7.

    when i found the website, i felt everything lift and spent the next two days happy as could be. Yep, you guessed it :) I then went back downhill, and have not had a good couple of weeks !!

    I’ve read Paul’s book today. Thanks Paul

    Sorry to babble on, just felt like i needed an outlet for this.

    Mark

  63. steph Says:

    hi paul mcG, thanks for your response, its good to know im not the only one who has felt this way, infact i know that im not its just i felt a little selfish towads others who havent taken rec drugs yet suffer anxiety. all tho like yourself i dont belive thats the main reason, i believe there have been many other stresses in my life that have added to my anxiety! and yes i do know them awful spaced out feelings & awful comedowns! i still feel dodgy today! im the same if i drink the hangover lasts for at least the best part of two days! i avoid going out/drinking because of this, yet when i start to gain confidence and feel more normal i sort of need a release,and do go overboard with the drink! I know for a fact i have to leave any rec drug well alone and when i do socialise cut back on my drink as this leads to the other stuff! i just get really down sometimes that i have to change these things (not the drug taking) just mean that i miss out and turn down a lot of nights out as i cant stand the hungover feeling! I guess sacrifices have to be made, its not the fact of going out i can take it or leave it, its just thats the way my freinds get together! i suppose i do over react and think im going to completley lose it after a night out, obviously my anxiety levels twisting my thoughts! a

    Rick, i also appreciate your advice i to regret and beat myself up over one night out in a blue moon! i do think i should take things a little less sriously, yet come to some sort of arrangement with myself on how to not go over board with the drink when i do go out. anyway sorry again for rambling, thank you all for advice and support. this site is such a help. everyone take care xx

  64. Shirley D. Says:

    Steph,
    I think you are very lucky that you even feel like going out, whilst I don’t think that agrophobia is very good, i suffered with not wanting to move outside the door! There was nothing better than going out for a meal – a real treat but unfortunately the anxiety closed all the doors.

  65. Manuella Says:

    Morning everyone!

    I don’t relate to the recreational drugs use as a cause of my anxiety…I only smoked cannabis once and I was fifteen, I laughed a little bit but felt dumb and never smoked again.
    But after reading all the comments about alcohol, can’t help thinking more seriously about it.
    Shirley, I’m sure you will start working soon. I lived in London for three years and wasn’t easy to get a job…I was always at the job centre in Edgware Road. Don’t feel sad :)
    About the agoraphobia (hate this word), sometimes I feel like a punch in my stomach when have to do something, but with a bit of courage and all the knowledge I achieved in here, feel able to do so. I already said that in a post, and I hope this doesn’t come out as a critic, but some of the comments about the symptoms make me a bit shaky…lol…I know, “thou shall not avoid” but it still triggers a little circle of “hey, what if I feel like that too, bla bla”.

    That’s it for me now, hope you all have a good day!

    Manuella

  66. Shirley D. Says:

    Thankyou for your kind words Manuella. I’ve woken up this morning with the anxiety feelings back in my throat but it’s not suprising with several different issues going on in my mind at the moment – doesn’t everything always come at once? But if you can deal with it all at once then it does make you stronger – i would hate to be drip fed it all little by little.
    I’m toddling off to the charity shop this afternoon to see a bit of life – a nice walk in the sunshine. Whatever I moan about i’m still loads better than I was, it’s just nice to get that extra little bit of reassurance from ‘The anxiety bloggers’ and find comfort in words.

  67. Manuella Says:

    The Anxiety Bloggers ;)

    You know, it’s so nice to see this positive attitude. All this experience will make you stronger, no doubt about it! It’s working already.
    Also, in a personal note, sometimes I don’t understand some expressions (like drip fed), but after a few minutes burning neurones it makes sense.

    There are some days that I really want to say to everyone: hey! Take it easy with me! I’m ill…
    Seems like too much to take, too many responsibilities and loads of stress. And then, after all the complaining, I realise it’s not really that stressful, it’s just me feeling overwhelmed by insecurity.

    Well, good luck and…sunshine? Really? Is there such thing in England? hehehe

    xxx

  68. Amy Says:

    Quick response to Mark G – oh yes! That was the worst part of my anxiety, the constant existentialising. At my worst I found it quite ‘easy’ to convince myself that there was no point to anything, life was an illusion etc. I guess there was an element of DP in there too, that feeling of being separate from the rest of society. I described the feeling to my counsellor as being akin to a lifting of a veil – suddenly I felt like I could see the world as it really is; empty and meaningless. Which of course it isn’t!!! Eventually I could see that my mind was just playing Devil’s advocate – because fundamentally, deep down I didn’t believe those thoughts, even if I couldn’t – at that time – come up with a good reason why!

    I was very scared about these thoughts – not at the thoughts, but why I was having them. What did it mean? When you manage to disconnect the thought from the process of having it, is the moment of revelation (if you like) when the fear begins to loose it’s grip. Does that make sense? To be fair I think it’s probably part of the human condition to think these thoughts from time to time. Indeed, the whole discipline of philosophy is built upon them!!

    How to deal with them? Well, I try to create lots of diversion; make sure I have a plan for each day, have something (like my knitting!) nearby to keep me occupied in idle moments and, crucially, make social opportunities happen. Spending time with others is the best medicine by far. :) Oh, and just don’t think about it! I know that sounds too simplistic, but really it works. If you feel the thoughts creeping up just say to yourself, calmly and gently (in my counsellor’s words ‘parent yourself’) that you don’t need to think about that stuff at the moment, and turn your attention to something else.

    Of course I should practice what I preach, which doesn’t always happen. Last few days have been a little challenging, but the preceding fortnight or so was a breeze, so I’m trying to maintain a cheery disposition and not react to negative thoughts. Tell you all what, the climate doesn’t half make it difficult though. Does anyone else find they are hyper-sensitive to the weather? Sunny one minute, hailing and blowing a gale the next: My mood is up and down like a yo-yo!

  69. Mark G Says:

    Thanks Amy – that helps a lot. Also, i agree with the weather, my mood seems to lift when its sunny, then plummets as soon as we have some of the hail/rain.

    Guess we’ll have to move to Spain :)

  70. Shirley D. Says:

    Well it was sunny this morning! Then what happened – it rained this afternoon.
    Manuella – drip fed – a slow release rather than all at once.
    Shirley

  71. steph Says:

    hi everyone, yes i agree with amy, shirley and mark. the weather plays havoc with my mood infact i think the bad weather can dampen a persons mood who doesnt experience any anxiety, dos anyone feel like everythings really dull n dark when it rains i mean more so than when were not experiencing anxiety? i guess we do need to move to spain, any room at the inn manuella lol..!

  72. Paul McG Says:

    Hi Guys !
    Everyone seems to be having a great little chat on here , but has anyone heard from Paul , think he’s done a runner !! We’ve probably sent him over the edge ! LOL ! As for the weather , lets hope we get a mediteranian summer , that way , we’ll be cured in no time .!!!
    P.McG

  73. JR Says:

    hello everyone…just wanted to jump in for a second and say thanks for the comments above about having a setback. Yesterday I had the best day that I’ve had in a very long time and it was right after having a setback. Today is an average day but yesterday was amazing. The DP seemed to lift for a little bit and I felt the real me coming through…I know that we seem to say that a lot on hear (feel the real me coming through for maybe just a second) and sometimes that’s the only words that you can come up for that feeling, but it is so amazing. Just awesome and to think that for the rest of my life I’ll get to feel that way when I’m completely over anxiety just brings tears to my eyes. Again thank you Paul for everything…what you have done for us is unrepayable. Keep the faith everyone and do exactly what Paul’s book says…I’m sure I’ll have more setbacks and will feel awful some days or weeks, but “who cares”…an anxiety-free is right around the corner!

  74. Shirley D. Says:

    Paul can see us all enjoying chatting and probably doesn’t want to intervene!
    I certainly don’t have any enthusiasm to do anything when the rain falls and the skies are grey.
    My initials are SAD and I think I have the syndrome too.
    When I went through my first marriage break-up I didn’t see the leaves unfurl on the trees for two Springs.The third year I did and it was like waking up from a long dull sleep. If you missed the leaves on the trees this year, next year will be your awakening year.
    Think I might have got a job! Yipee – watch this space.

  75. No More Anxiety Says:

    No Paul I have not dissapeared : )

    I am busy with something at the moment and the best thing to do is put everything into that and you then get things done. I will be posting again very soon, I do pop from time to time and Shirley is right, if your all chatting away and helping each other than that’s all good for me.

    Just bear with me with the forum, something will be done, there are just one or two issues at the moment, just leave it with me and I will sort something out. I just want release it when I have time to make sure it runs right and takes off, also I am pondering which sort of forum to use. Its just a time thing at the moment as I startes a graphics course today and also a friend wanted a site building. I will be back though to post soon.

    Take care all

    Paul

  76. No More Anxiety Says:

    By the way I feel my next post will be very helpful, so do watch out for it in the next few days. I tend to do them on what people are talking about on here……………so it could help a few people.

  77. Manuella Says:

    Hey…he’s back.

    Steph, I live in Portugal…can’t complain about the weather, but just watched the 10’o clock news and seems like’s going to rain tomorrow…snif!

  78. Paul McG Says:

    Portugal ! , the lucky beggar ! , i thought we only had the right to suffer from anxiety in the UK !! . . . Only joking Manuella !
    P. McG

  79. Amy Says:

    Well I’m glad it’s not just me who is affected so much by the weather. I had a SAD diagnosis last year and had been using a light box until the end of March. Perhaps I should get it out again to see me through the next couple of weeks of gloom. Yuck! I wonder how much the rubbish summer last year here in the UK has affected people – we simply didn’t get enough sun to keep us topped up through the winter? Anyway, must get on with some work – need to finish my PhD as soon as possible so I can start earning money and saving up for my move to the equator. ;)

  80. Manuella Says:

    Morning!

    Paul!!! loool…come on!

    Funny fact: I live in the Algarve and there’s so maaaany British citizens here, maybe they are all running away from the…er….how can I say that without being horrible…poopy weather?!

    :)

  81. Paul McG Says:

    Manuella ! . . . POOPY ???
    What nationality are you ? It would be nice to know if you’ve moved out there from the UK or what ! Also get off the computer and get back out there in the sun ! We’ve not seen any blue sky here , since last summer and even then , it only lasted a couple of days . Maybe we should do that sponsored walk in the Algarve , I’m sure Manuella would put us all up for a couple of days ! lol ! . . . What does everyone think ?
    Paul McG

  82. JR Says:

    Ok all…Today I was listening to sports radio and they had psyc on their talking about Herschel Walker him writing a book about his battle with dissociative identity disorder. I wanted to listen and did so but then my mind started to think maybe I have that or questioning my anxiety. Then I pulled up DP on wikipedia and read stuff on there. I have been feeling better recently…maybe 80% but started questioning everything again today. i don’t know if it’s my dp fading and coming back again for my mind be being quite for a while and starting back up. I just started to get scared that I have that or some other mental illness that’s creeping up on me. I had thoughts that my “acting” throughout the day was another personality or something? Crazy thoughts that I know deep down inside they are not true, but on the surface they’re so real.

  83. Paul McG Says:

    Never thought i’d feel so anxious but yet soo happy tonight , all at the same time ! All thanks to the famous Glasgow Celtic ! sorry to crash the blog with football but , I feel more able to differentiate between common anxiety and the anxiety thats plaqued me 24/7 for many years , that in itself feels like a triumph ,
    JR !! sounds like your still torturing yourself with all the what ifs !! If you’ve got the book , get it out and refresh your mind to what , is fact , and not a figment of your imagination ! concentrate on using all your resources to moving on, by using the information on this site , and not confusing yourself with other issues going on elsewhere ! hope that makes sense , i’ve indulged in a couple of amber nectars tonight !
    Paul . McG

  84. rick Says:

    hi JR
    I get these thoughts and sensations from time to time especially when ive been feeling good for a while then wham, there back. But if we were physically or mentaly ill woud we be having good days ??? I very much doubt it, ive been suffering for nearly a year now and its taken me ages to realise even at its most disturbing times ”it carn’t and wont kill me”. Its been a struddle and like i posted before i feel guilty over the drugs that i used recreationaly to help me get over hard times which id been having. But how i look at it now is id suffered with anxiety before that stage so i guess theres no need to feel guilty. Just i wont make the same mistake again. As for the sun , Im off on my holls in 5 weeks and this has helped to lift my spirits. I definatly agree that the sun is a booster!!!!! :)
    Amy did you find the light box worked????
    Thanks everyone,
    Rick

  85. No More Anxiety Says:

    J.R look out for my next post, it will help you a lot. I am also sure a book a close friend and one of the very few people I respect on the subject of anxiety will help. It is by far the best book on the subject of scary thoughts, questioning oneself, obsessions, I have read.

    I have asked Will, who wrote it, if I could offer it on his behalf and he has agreed to sell the ebook version for a small amount (£5) and will give anyone a refund who it does not help, he is not money motivated and gives a hell of a lot of free time into helping others. I have read the book and also did a review on it when it was first published and it is very, very good. Anyone who knows me knows I would never put my approval to anything unless I totally agreed with it. This is the first and probably the last time I will do this, its just the book gets very little publicity and I believe it will help a lot of people.

    Also I have just about finished the forum and there will be some posts to make up for my absence in the next couple of days, it just been very hetic.

    Great to see everyone getting on and supporting each other by the way.

    Manuella your a breath of fresh air, your posts always make me smile….Poopy!, where did that come from? : )

    Paul

  86. Amy Says:

    Re, the lightbox. It’s hard to say Rick. I used it everyday between November and the end of March, for at least an hour (and usually two). It may have relieved the SAD symptoms, but – as I was concurrently going throuh a pretty bad dose of anxiety at the same time – it’s hard to determine either way; anxiety usually leads to depression for me – or, at least, it used to! ;)

    I have to say that, of all the symptoms of anxiety, it’s the irrational thoughts that take the longest to subside. As I think Paul says in his book, they become a habit, which is very easy to fall back into the clutches of. I’ve had a great couple of weeks and then, wham, it all came back this weekend. I think it was largely due to me going to London on Saturday (and getting hopelessly lost!) and getting over tired and frustrated (my camera packed up and all the photos I took for my thesis were out of focus and useless). And then low level physical anxiety symptoms followed yesterday. But I’m maintaining a happy attitude and getting on with stuff regardless. And there’s SUN today! Wahey!!!!!

  87. steph Says:

    Hi everyone, hope everyone is good? And i agree with paul, manuella u are very witty, poopy!! Just replying to JR, i have had couple of weeks feelin great and when ive felt really good ive felt sooo positive about everything! can focus clearly am able to get everything i need to get done no problem. However this week iv had a setback and its not really bothered me at first, i just had a word with myself and said stef you’v felt like this before if not worse and then you felt much better, but sometimes the feelns that i have will be niggling in the back of my mind and ill start to worry whether my weekend out will put me back to square one or worse make me develop a serious mental illness! when i have anxiety i find it diffcult to listen to things about serious mental illness and do start to mirror my symptoms with the symptoms being spoken about, which then leads to more worry and anxiety etc etc.. so your not alone with this JR i always tell myself that if i was going to go mad or end up having this meltdown it wouldv happnd by now! all though at the time you tell yourself that and sometimes still question with the dreaded what ifs! hope this helped a little, take care.

    Paul, im really looking forward to the next post and forum, and i hink your friends book sounds like a great idea, the more (similar) advice on anxiety the.. better thanks.

  88. Manuella Says:

    Morning!

    Never thought that a crappy word would make such an impression! hehehe

    Paul Mcg, I usually use the Internet at my job place, so can’t really leave and go for a walk in the beach…snif! I connect at home too, but not as much.
    I’m Brazilian, living in Portugal…but lived in London for nearly 3 years.

    And for the book: yes, Paul! Bring it on! As Steph said above: the more (good) advice, the better.

    Ta-ta!

  89. Donna (Dee) Says:

    Wow, these are great posts! I’ve not been on the site in some time (about a year or so) because I was wanting to stay away from all the anxiety sites for awhile. I felt like it was perpetuating my own anxiety and reading about others made me more anxious – imagine that. Glad to see the support system here. I too had the max amount of symptoms that I thought possible – you name it, I had it. The last lingering symptom was the whole “fear of choking thing”. It’s still there, but it’s so much better. I’d drilled it into my head that it can’t hurt me. I am still learning to accept bad days with the good. Work’s been really rough these past couple of weeks. More so than usual.
    I’m really standing up for myself and not being the perfectionist I once was. My boss actually commented that if I get too stressed out that I should take the medication, like she is. I was so ticked about that. Who is anyone to ask me to take meds because I’m a little stressed? The point is, NO ONE should have to take meds because of their jobs.
    Anyways, enough of me. Keep up the good work ya’ll. We’ll get these, keep accepting the symptoms as nothing more than adrenaline and it always burns off eventually.

    Cheers!

  90. Paul McG (RELATIONSHIPS=PROBLEMS) Says:

    Hi all !
    I was just wondering if anyone has had to deal with an ongoing problem , in their lives , as well as coping and trying to recover from anxiety ? It seems that although i , have made great strides forward with how i react and deal with anxiety , i also seem somewhat held back , and unable to continue with the progress i have already made , I feel that having to do both at the same time poses a huge problem for me , There is no avoiding this problem at the moment and its something i have to deal with on a daily basis ! any feedback or advice would be greatly appreciated !
    Thanx
    Paul

  91. Paul McG Says:

    GUESS I’LL JUST HAVE TO SORT IT OUT MYSELF, THEN ! LOL !!

  92. No More Anxiety Says:

    Paul old posts can be left a bit behind. The forum will be ready very soon, it will be easier then to receive an answer.

    Paul

  93. Lissa Says:

    HI everyone,

    I will start by telling you all that i have a goiter in my throat. I am waiting to do some tests so i can get it taken out. that is when all the anxiety started. i always thought that anxiety only lasted a few days, but this is day 4, and its still here. I felt great all day today, but this evening it all started to come back again. I dont want to take any meds, i have been trying natural supplements.
    Some of the symptoms i have been having are weakness, dizziness, light-headedness, nervous feeling in my stomach, feeling like i am going crazy, like this is never going to end. its nice to read other peoples inspiring stories. are these all symptoms that someone has had before and how did you make them go away?
    thanks so much, would appreciate any and all info and advice you can give!!

  94. ben b Says:

    Hi there

    I’m posting today as I really want to beat my anxiety, I’ll tell you how it started as I really do want to draw a line under it and wanted to see if what happened to me has happened to anyone else.
    I have been through a lot of stresses in life and have been pretty much able to handle it all, then one day; again I was going though a very stressful time,
    1) Just split with my long-term girlfriend (who would not let me go)
    2) Setting up a new business (with someone I really did not want to go into business with)
    3) Being owed a lot of money from a client (who refused to pay even though it was there fault)
    4) Getting lack of sleep (though just worrying to much)
    5) Not eating to great. (Because I could not think straight of felt I could not handle going to the shops)
    I had a lots of thoughts rushing round my head whilst I was driving and was speaking with a friend on the phone, I was also worried I was going to run out of petrol and really wanted to get rid of my friend on the phone, who would just not go away and was off loading all his problems onto me. I then approached a KFC and was trying to order a meal though the bit you talk into. I was telling my order to the lady and she just could not understand me, after I repeated my order 3 times, my head started spinning as I could not work out why she could not understand me, then I got to the window to collect my food and I was in a bad way, I felt trapped as I still had loads to do, I really thought I was going to die, I went so dizzy and light I thought I was going to pass out and I didn’t know at the time what was going on. I ran into the bathroom of the kfc and splashed water on my face trying to pull myself together, I got back into the car and still felt really bad, knowing I had to get on with my day.
    I was now all stressed up I was worried I was going to run out of petrol and just complexly mess up my day. I managed to get to a petrol station but was really not feeling to great, my eye sight was closing in on me and I felt so dizzy I could just about stand, I just wanted to go home. My friend brought me chocolate and water as he though I was going to pass out.
    Before this day I never had this before, now I had experienced this I could not get this out of my mind and it kept getting worse. First it was just when I had been drinking the night before, but then it started to happen in everyday and it seemed anything linked with that day, i.e. getting petrol and just being out in general, would trigger a panic attack of some sort. I tried to just ignore it and get on with my life but I kept getting triggers.
    I found if I was to drink a pint of beer it would relax me and to date this works, but it now seems to be 2 pints, but you cant live your life needing a drink all the time. I have had around 5 serious panic attacks like this and the worse ones have been after I had been drinking the night before and these are 100 times worse.
    I thought enough was enough and went to see my gp who told me I was suffering from stress and to be fair yes I have so she took my blood pressure and told me I have high blood pressure, this really did worry me and she gave me a prescription for beater blockers.
    Then a leaflet was posted though my door for a psychoanalyst and hypnotherapist, I had nothing to lose so went and meet this woman and she confirmed she could help me. It had got to the point were I could not drive on certain roads as I was getting attacks whilst driving and had to breath into a paper bag. The first session I had was amazing and I felt 100% my old self and was on top of the world I really felt I was cured, until I got triggers when back in a petrol station, I had about 12 sessions with this lady and I have to say it really helped out.

    But now I still get that feeling when I’m out and about to the point where it stops me wanting to do stuff, I just keep thinking im going to have an attack again. Has anyone else been thought what I have, would be really good if anyone has any tips for me. ?

    I tend to just start thinking I’m going to get them again and just want to escape. I’m so glad I have found this blog as no one seems to understand what I going though and it is really hard for people to understand.

  95. SJ Says:

    Hi
    I can relate to how everyone feels. I have had anxiety for nearly 3 months now. I am not on medication and am trying to deal with it day by day. The last 2 days i have suffered panic attacks which are awful and i am trying to follow the advice of others but it isn’t easy. These tend to happen in the mornings and leave me uneasy for a while until i eventually get on with the day. I sleep ok and try to keep active although my appetite has lessened to what it was. I have noticed many changes since i first got it and have been through the dp phase as well as various symptoms but i am finding it hard to let go of the feeling on edge. My husband and friends are doing their best but are also finding it hard watching me go through this and i just hope that recovery isn’t too far away so i can enjoy life the way it is meant to be. I would never have believed that getting anxiety would cause so much upset and become such a struggle to get through and hopefully one day soon i will look back on it all and move onwards and upwards but at the moment it all seems a long way off. I hope i am doing the right things all beit the hard way. It is good to know i am not alone.

  96. Apetrick Says:

    Hi everyone. This is the first time ive talked about my anxiety on a forum, so here goes.
    Im 26 and ive had anxiety for about 7 yrs now, and im finally starting to understand and tackle the problem. I have social anxiety disorder, in spite of this i still socialize but, with all the awkwardness that goes with my anxiety.
    My main focus is on my intense blushing. Because of this being the main focus of my anxiety, over the years my blushing has turned into a constant thing, so i have a permanently red face.
    Because of this ive lost jobs, and never had a girlfriend.
    From what i have gathered so far i have got many safty behaviours which have inhibited me in many ways. Alot of the time my feelings are that im less of a man because i havent had an intimate relationship.
    Im not by any means and am constantly told that im a good looking bloke, and have had many encounters with girls. I do feel however that if they find out the real me, a red friek then they will reject me.
    Im the sort of person that analysis things alot, and im maybe too oversensitive.
    It would be good to hear from someone who can relate to my problem.

  97. Nadine Says:

    Hi. I have been told I have anxiety within the last 2 weeks and judging by all of the symptoms t is true. I went through blood tests for sleepiness and being feint. I was exhausted, tearful and convinced I had something seriously wrong with me. I lost over half a stone in weight and all of these things made me 1st attend my doctors. I was already taking anti-biotics for an ear infection so I was already run down and prone to all sorts.
    I think i wanted the results of the test to show something that I could deal with medically but I am apparently fit as a fiddle. No problems to report.
    I wet through a stage ( and sometiems still do) of crying into my husbands arms and telling him how sorry I am for being that way. I thought I had every illness under the sun. I tried to find quick fix solutions to my problem and this all happened the day after boxing day and I needed to get back to work on the Monday like everyone else.
    I have never felt like this before. Some days have been ok, just lacking in energy and others all I want to do is sleep but I am scared I don’t sleep enough at night. I have a little girl who is nearly 4 and soooo demanding. I don’t like not being a 100% for her so very impatient with myself. I already suffer frm IBS and with the anti-biotics I felt like someone had drained me. My whole family have been fantastic and telling me I have been working far too hard towards christmas trying to please everyone, wrapping gifts, chasing round after kids, going to work etc… I didn’t have time to think then. When christmas came, just a few days I go blurry vision, tired and run down. I believe I had a virus (maybe partly still do), but I can’t seem to grasp the concept of going out alone anymore. I am scared as I beleve what i have een feeling are panic attacks and they scare me. i feel my throat is closed and I watch every breath i take. I have never felt like this before. I have been waking up in the mornign with butterflies which the doc has given me beta blockers for to slow my heart rate down. I have too much adrenalin going around but the butterflies make me feel like I have something to be nervous for. The doctor said does anything worry you. I said no in the surgery, but ever since I came out I found everything worries me. I have had good and bad days but need to be strong for my little girl.
    I have been told to take time off from work to get my strength back and I was worried about this at first but they have been very supportive. i worry they think I am going mad! I have seen others off with stress and blagged it as the ignorant person i muyst have been as I thought I had a stressful life but could deal with it.
    I need to know any secrets to combatting shortness of breath so i don’t become dizzy and confused. I want to return to work but wonder when the best time is as I don’t want to leave it too long. I think i worry about coping at work and knowing what i am doing.
    I have been waking feeling very very sick and force feeding myself to keep food in.
    I know I have not had these feelings for even a fortnight yet but I need to move forwards and become back to normal for my families sake.
    Everyone is supportive and I want to return the favour. I am usually the one who runs round after everyone else and I am lost.
    I am scared to drive when i get blurry vision too. I need to go to the shops but i have been chauffeur driven for a week or 2.
    I could g on forever about how I feel. Can anyone help. Is this acute and do you think I should give myself more time or try to get back into things?

    Many thanks, Nadine

  98. Gummbygirl Says:

    Nadine It sounds like you and I are in the same boat. I’ve always been a very outgoing person, love to joke and laugh! I loved going to work because I had such a good time with my coworkers and I work with animals, who wouldn’t love that! But then just a few weeks ago I was overcome with the feeling I was about to die. I was at a friends and rushed out as soon as I could to drive home. I sped home thinking I wouldn’t make it! I curled up on the couch waiting for something to happen, thankfully nothing did and I was ok. The next few days I was feeling kinda funny and dizzy and constantly having trouble catching my breath.. so I stayed home. A few days after I was feeling ok and back to my normal self. I made it to New Years and had a great time with friends and family, but a few days after I started having random panic attacks. It got so bad to the point that I would wake up shaking and the butterflies in my stomach would never go away. I would call in to work, I stopped eating. I was constantly worrying that something horrible was gonna happen to me.I was always sooo tense, couldn’t concentrate, I was convinced I had health problems. I ended up at the doctors office and he diagnosed me with anxiety and dp and put me on Zoloft and Buspar. I’ve only been on them for 2 1/2 weeks and its said that you dont start feeling results for at least 3 weeks so I’m waiting on that. But, I too am afraid to leave the house or go somewhere on my own. I hate it. I feel like Im a completley different person! It scares me that it won’t stop sometimes…but lately I’ve been having some good days, even if its just a few hours the fact that I can feel like my “old self” again is a breakthrough. It gives me hope for the next day. I’m learning to take one day at a time. I have some rough patches and that’s ok, the good thing is I know that this is not forever, there is a way out and I just have to BELIEVE that. So I just put one foot in front of the other and go on with my day. I have great friends and family around who support me and are praying for me. I know that God is in control of what is going on. Its going to take time, its like climbing stairs. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, you have more to live for than these thoughts. Im’ only 27 and even though I’m not married or have children I have to tell myself this everyday even when I feel like giving up. You are stronger than you think and feel!!! Don’t forget that. Talk to someone a therapist is a great idea. I just started last week with one and even after the first day I felt better. Don’t rush it, it will come in time. Don’t let the negative thoughts control you! Just remeber there is hope!

  99. azcat Says:

    Thanks for all this. I’ve been dealing with this since June and anxious to get back to normal. as school started (I’m a tecaher), the anxiety has built. The last week has been bad and the last two days horrible. I hoped my dr would up the Zoloft to 100 mg but he hasn’t called. I am glad to be reminded that there are ups and downs. This down seems really rough. amazing how much I pray for help and strength. Today I cried and took a nap. Woke up a bit “out of it.: Just told myself that “I can do this.” Ithink I can, I think I can.

  100. azcat Says:

    Sorry for all the mis-spellings mistakes – by a teacher!!!!! I was a bit anxious
    ;-)

  101. Samntha Says:

    I am new to this site as well as all anti anxiety sites. I have been living with anxiety for as long as I can remember but just recently realized that it is not just my personality but a problem I have been living with. I always just thought I was an irritable person.

    It seems like ever since I realized I had a problem and I have been trying to fix it, it has been getting worse. I had my first (and hopefully my last) panic attack at work yesterday. I did’nt know what was happening to me, I thought I was dying. Very scary and extremely embarrassing. Now I am more anxious then ever and I dont know where to go for help.

    My husband doesnt understand what I am going through and that makes me feel hopeless because I have no family here, no support.

  102. mee Says:

    well i am going tru depression and anxiety and stress again
    after ayer im starting too feel the same :( i feel like im
    stupid that people dont like me or like the hang around me
    that girls dont wann be like a guy with me stressing at work
    for not getting promoted after 2 years everybody except me
    :( i eat aloot of junk food maybe thats why im feeling anxiety
    and dipresion all over again i just wanna be happy i always worry
    about how i look or people judge me i have a lazy eye so that to me
    makes me feel like a monster something not normal i always been
    laugh at in school since elementry but i do got good people that cares
    for me i just want this anxiety depression to go away :(

  103. hons Says:

    in response to Paul’s post. …. well I am a bit confused. it seems as though you are saying that the best thing to do is nothing at all, but from what ive read it is important to do a number of various things like yoga,meditation relaxation techniques ,breathing exercises?

    I would really appreciate some clarity in this.

    Thanks,

    Hons

  104. natalie Says:

    hello everyone
    my first post ever.. hope everyone doing ok. I am havin a tuff few days and have read most of the posts on here and although i understand and can see what is being said is right i just cannot seem ot put into practise. like today i am highly angst cos my partner and me had a few arguements the last few days about how i am cos i am off work with this. but do i just go with it oh no i get on this blog and can feel my impatence rising because i want to be fixed now. have suffered for just over a year and half but has been a difficult time and kinda feel stuck .. like in the beginning i did lots of things right and had weeks of feeling good but let one bad day set me right back because i did not understand. i now feel i have such a high hill to climb that i not sure i can do it.. but am still going so something in me wants to try. any words of encouragemeng guys ?? feel so lost at the moment and sad and its like i do not know who i am anymore. xxx

  105. Jenny Says:

    Hey everyone. This is my first post. I have been suffering from severe anxiety for about a little over 4 months now. In the beginning i was too scared to even sit still. I lost alot of weight b.c i wasnt hungry b.c i felt worried all the time, like something was seriously wrong. I thought something was wrong with me so i made my doctor test me for everything under the sun. He said im healthy, and its anxiety. I was crying all the time asking my self and my family what is wrong with me, and why wont this feeling go away.. I have tried everything to make this insanely scary feeling go away, such as yoga, seeing a social worker twice a week, acupuncture, im on medication called pexeva.. And i feel like im never going to get the old Jen back. I used to always be so happy and pretty out going. Now i wake up everyday wondering how im going to get through the day. Dont get me wrong i have had some pretty good days where i can control the anxiety and talk my self out of it. But when i have that bad day it totaly discourages me and sets me back.. and then i feel like im back to square one, hopeless and stuck… I know everone says it takes time for the anxiety to go away i just feel like it has already been over 4 months and i still feel like im jumping out of my skin for no reason. I could be sitting on the beach with nothing bothering me n all of a sudden theres that horrible feeling and i am basically paralyzed inside and i want to run away, but theres nothing to run away from! I havent been going out very often b.c im sacred im going to feel this way when im out… I just want my life back… Any advice?

  106. Kesha Says:

    Hello… nice to see this site !!!! I have been going through anxiety and depression for about 5 years.. Well I went through tapes and they helped me a whole lot.. I would just let the feelings come and keep on going.. Soon I could feel anxious for about 5 minutes and be back to myself !! But here lately I have’nt been able to do that like I use too.. I know I just started a new job and that has a lot to do with it.. I feel that I’m putting alot of pressure on myself to do well, Which brings about my anxiety. I havent had a panic attack in about 2 years and had my first one since then on my way to work the other day..But I will not give up.. The same way I got through it the last time.. I know I will get better with time.

  107. Jay Says:

    Hi, I have just recently been having anxiety. I have been a heavy drinker for the past 3 and a half years. I think I was self medicating because even though the physical symptoms are recent I look back and show signs of some anxiety, especially Social Anxiety. Well anyway I quit drinking this January and all of February and all this month I havent caught a break. Every day I wake up fine for a split second, then my hands turn freezing cold and clammy, I have hard time breathing, and it lasts pretty much all day until I fall asleep. Its such a debilitating way to live. I am trying to accept it but dang. Can I even get a good day for some reassurance. Its like God is toying with you and trying to test your limits. Has anybody tried journaling their day to document what might trigger anxiety or what happens around bad days? I have been doing it the last few weeks and have to say it really helps. Not only can I use it for a future reference but I also find when I write in my journal all my physical symptoms are pretty much gone. Its unreal.

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