How I first suffered with anxiety and other things.

Hi, Well todays post is a double post from a question and a point somebody made through the blog. Firstly I did first suffer through soft drugs that took over my life a bit. I know a lot of other people also first experienced anxiety and depersonalisation this way. Here is the original question.

Paul if you could share a little of your drug experiences, personal as they are, then I think it would help a lot of readers of this site.

I am not going to go into the effects of drugs and I have no right to preach to anyone, but here is how I fell into the trap of anxiety and everything thing else it brought with it.

I basically got into the dance culture of the late 80’s and got into soft drugs, speed and ecstasy. I felt my personality was changing over time and began to feel not with it, a bit dreamy and very little energy. I suppose if you treat your body like that it will get its revenge. I ignored all the signs and carried on until I first felt panic. I had never felt like this before and it really scared me, I knew then I had to stop taking drugs at this time and get myself back together so I stopped. I began to build my health back up but I still suffered from bouts of panic and worried daily about them, I had no anxiety at all at this point. But the constant worry of these bouts of panic and the way I felt made me anxious, as usual it was all the worry of how I was feeling. I then worried about the anxiety and went to see my doctor, who put me on seroxat and propranol. Well to be honest I felt worse, I was also trying to hold down a full time job. So I fought and worried daily about how I was feeling, all this extra worry and stress made me feel worse and then one day I felt unreal, this is when the depersonalisation came on, so I worried and fought even harder. I can see so clearly now how each stage started and why I fell deeper into my condition.

Here is something else I would like to expand on from a comment above.

A final note, Paul suffered for all that time, yet he continues to immerse himself in an environment of people with anxiety issues, I must admit reading some of these posts is great and encouraging, but sometimes it just reminds me of how I feel. If paul suffered for that long, and can come on here and discuss all of this with us, when at one point the word ‘anxiety’ used to send him into a panic, then I honestly know if we stick to the methods, we can all get better.

I agree that we can begin to remind ourselves of how we feel and it does not help at times. This is one of the reasons I don’t have a forum, I am not really a fan of them. They are full of people’s problems and loads of conflicting advice. Someone suffering finds it hard to deal with their own problems without being subjected to many more on a daily basis. There was no way I could have helped others when I still suffered myself.

I moderate this blog as I don’t want it to go down that road. In the main these are posts of support and achievements, something people can read and be encouraged by, also we all tend to stick to the same beliefs which to me is very important, you don’t want to read 10 different bits of advice and think, I wonder if that will work for me, or Sandra said this helped her, I will try that and the search goes on and on and they are more confused than ever.

I always felt able to read about the subject if I could relate to it and I was learning new things, reading something that you can really relate to and that makes sense tends to make you feel better, mainly because you lose a lot of fear about how you are feeling. Reading horror stories of how people are getting worse or how they can’t go out can have the opposite effect, especially when suffering with anxiety as our emotions and reactions are a lot higher.

I help people now and have no problems at all with doing this. As I no longer suffer and have no fear of symptoms then it is very easy for me to help and talk about the subject, otherwise I would have to put myself first and not do so. It is a pleasure to help others when and where I can and we have some wonderful people on here, some who really impress me with the way they have picked up a lot of what I try and get across.

Anyway that’s me for today, I hope you all had a good weekend and that everyone is well.

Paul

For more help and advice visit my main site www.anxietynomore.co.uk

34 Responses to “How I first suffered with anxiety and other things.”

  1. Anthony Says:

    Paul, I don’t know how you keep up with this blog. lol

    Yeah, I was wondering myself if this blog and website brought back bad memories for you, but I guess your complete recovery is enough proof for you that nothing bad can happen.

    My biggest frustration with my recent bout with anxiety is that I haven’t felt this way in so long. But I do know that I have a lot on my plate right now, with just proposing marriage, going to school and working a lot. I guess there is only so much that anti-depressants can do for you. As I’ve said in previous posts, I had no understand of the symptoms and how I can do my part to prevent this from happening.

    I don’t really go to other websites anymore. I kept reading the horror stories, the switching of medications, and just some downright depressing stuff that I would get myself more anxious. I guess more people are likely to post about how bad they are feeling rather than how good they are feeling. Most people in your shoes, Paul, probably wouldn’t want anything to do with discussing this stuff.

  2. No More Anxiety Says:

    Anthony I understand why forums end up with different story’s of people’s suffering, but there is no one there to really advise and they end up advising each other, which is fine until you get loads of conflicting advice. I did not have a computer when I suffered, but talking to a lot of people they say forums sometimes made them feel worse, Again its all a personal choice, but is one of the reasons I am not keen to put one up. I can keep up with this blog, but I could not keep up with a forum, it would be too much work.

    As for keeping up with the blog, I find that people are advising and helping each other now, which helps me. I only step in when I feel I want to expand on something or make a point. I did have a lot of trouble last week with people who don’t come on here using it as some sort of contact form to reach me that had nothing to do with the original post. But I have stopped this by filtering them all out and asking them politely not to do this. I don’t want it ruining for everyone here who uses it and finds it helpful.

    Paul

  3. Debbie Says:

    Hi again,
    Anthony, try not to be too frustrated with the way you feel! You’ve been coping with a lot!
    I don’t go to any other websites either. I have this link in my favorites! all the other sites are so depressing or they try to get your cash so they can give you a miracle cure!!
    I have been inspired by you Paul. I’m planning when i’m completely recovered to do some studying and become a councellor. I’d love to specialise in anxiety. but first i’m goin to continue on my road to recovery and get really strong!
    i’m off to paint my spare bedroom now!! Even with the blurry vision! LOL

  4. JoeyLowtown Says:

    Here’s some good news for people. I had just started my business when anxiety hit me hard, because basically I took speed and panicked. I had been working for a major haulage company in my area and lost the contract because I needed a couple of months of work. Ive just won it back and started there again last week. Ive felt fine. Im even truly acceptin my racing thoughts and they are beginning to subside.

    I generally feel happier and feel like Im on the right track. Likewise I dont really bother with other sites these days, the best advice is on here!

  5. AK Says:

    Thanks for the comments Paul, they answer the questions I had asked, I’m sorry I initially asked them so directly, I did not realise the volume of people contacting you.

    I, like Joey, am seeing improvement. I have bad times, mainly racing thoughts, but they are beginning to subside also. I have never really had a panic attack, I mainly just feel uneasy, and have a lot of ‘what if’ questions, which I realise are stupid questions to think. My physical symptoms are often related to a loss of appetite and a butterflies in the stomach feeling.

    A quick question to anyone who can answer, I thought I had suffered from depersonlisation/derealisation at one point, however when I look up any terms for this, all I get is ‘feeling unreal, outside ones own body’ etc. I haven’t had these thoughts, but I do think in a very much before and after mindset of anxiety. How things were different before the anxiety, when really I know things are the same, its just how I feel. I realise anxiety amplifies feelings a lot, for example, watching a horror movie before would be ok for me, but now thinking about doing this would make me think, ‘I will feel uneasy watching this’, and any bad news on television you feel a lot more emotion towards. I am generalising here, but anyone else get this?
    The reason I ask is because i took a light drug, which didnt give me a panic attack, but i felt uneasy at the time, which i had never had before, i didnt panic as such, just was pleased to go to bed, and the feeling would be gone in the morning. Of course I didn’t feel the effects of the next day, but felt spacey, which may have just been alchohol and the drug getting out of my system, but i constantly thought, i feel abit different, what is wrong. Then i found the dp site, and was thinking, is it this? i feel different, but not out of body etc. I was wondering if I initially got dp, maybe my brain saying, this is too much, and shutting off, and the developed anxiety from that, even though this is a different progression than paul suggests. I think the worrying about this led to anxiety, but anyway, I’m rambling. Anyone else get the ‘things were so much different around me with anxiety’ feeling? I haven’t seen alot of friends since this happen, and i know when i see them i’ll be thinking, theyve got no idea ive had all this anxiety, but I will float past this. It just makes you feel abit separate, like i said, my life doesnt seem like a film or anything like how dp people describe, just a constant on edge, thinking too much kind of feeling. Sorry this post is so long, i always say too much!

    Anyway, I’m looking at anxiety as something that once I have beaten, I will have an inner strength I have never had before, it’s a more positive way to look on things I think, and makes me so much more willing to accept and remain positive. An ‘if I can do this, I can do anything’ kind of approach.

    AK

  6. Tarmo Says:

    AK: before depersonalisation hit me big time, I felt the way you describe your own feelings – always thinking too much, feeling different than before, having a foggy feeling inside my head but still felt that “I was me”. If I had gotten Paul’s advice back then, I think I probably wouldn’t have needed to sink so deep. But I know now that it’s not too late, I’m feeling a lot better already and a 24/7 depersonalisation has changed to something much less frightening. It’s difficult to explain, it’s just an overrall feeling that I’m on the right track and my mind is finally reloading it’s batteries. Today I just concentrated on my work and on my way home I started thinking if I even felt depersonalised at all. Felt pretty damn good.

    I totally agree with the people above: this is the only anxiety forum for me now.

    And it’s funny how many of us seem to feel that we need to start helping fellow sufferers after finding the right path ourselves! I have a strong feeling about it as well. It’s frustrating to know how many people out there suffer because they just don’t have the right information.

  7. AK Says:

    Hey Tarmo, that’s good news, I’m really glad to hear it. I have just come home from university for a few days, and it was here i experienced all my feelings at their peek. I was slightly apprehensive but.. I feel really good! My mind is wondering sometimes, but I seem to be able to control it more, by just paying it no attention and then realising my thoughts haven’t drifted for a while! I don’t want to jump the gun though, I’m just taking things day by day, but if i can feel like I do now, even for a brief while, its a great feeling, and I know what to do if i have a set back.

    I notice you say you play guitar, I’m a guitarist myself, luckily it has never got to the point where i didn’t feel like playing though. I know its a little off topic, but what gear do you own?

  8. Anthony Says:

    AK, your post sounded just like how I’ve been since my recent bout with anxiety. I keep analyzing, doing the “before and after” mentality…like when I listen to music, sometimes I think “am i enjoying this? is it the same as before my anxiety problems?” and I do this with so many things. But I know my life is no different than before. Infact, I’ve been doing more with my friends, eating healthier, and exercising. So in some ways, the anxiety has been helpful.

    I am just constantly reminded of my anxiety, which at times can lead to a thought so scary or depressing that I might panic or cry. I just wish sometimes I could forget about it, and wish it never happened. But there are times, like at my buddy’s wedding or one time when I went bowling, where I hardly thought about it at all, and I was fine. I just hate the idea of having to change things just to get me to forget about anxiety. But I guess that is different than avoidance. I’m not hiding, I’m just making adjustments.

  9. AK Says:

    Hey Anthony, i’m not really sure if you are avoiding or accepting really, i’m not an expert on this by any means. I’m still working at it, but I would look at the times you had the great experiences at your friends wedding and when you went bowling to realise it is possible for you to be ‘fine.’

    It would probably be better for paul to step in and advise about if you’re doing the right thing, but I don’t know whether changing things to forget about anxiety it the right way to do it. I think it’s more, just doing all the things you would usually while anxiety is there, and if you get a thought thats scary or depressing, let it be there, pay it no great attention and say to yourself, its just an offshoot of anxiety, and when i recover it won’t be there. Therefore you reduce your fear of it, and in time you won’t panic or cry, you might even laugh at it, like paul said he used to.

    I hope this is of help, but I would hope paul would feel free to step in and correct me if i’m wrong. Obviously changes like eating right and exercise are good, but not if you’re telling youself you ‘must do this’ and ‘must do that.’ I believe one of Paul’s previous blogs was ‘don’t see anxiety as the enemy’ which i think you might be doing.

    I’m sorry if im being presumptuous, please correct me if i’m wrong, and like i said, paul please step to offer your advise, i would feel more comfortable if you did!

  10. JR Says:

    Have anyone heard of the Linden Method? It is kind of simular to Paul’s way of conquering anxiety. I bought the method years ago and it sort of helped me get through the day but my anxiety was still there. I guess I never really understood why I feel the way I do. Paul has been a great influence on me with his book and this forum. It is truly great. The only thing is can someone still become fully free from anxiety and still read information on this forum. Basically is it ok to read about anxiety to stay on the right path or is this a crutch that needs to be removed in order to recover fully…i guess in other words, to retain the subconscious? Thanks for everything Paul.

  11. Dan Says:

    It’s interesting to hear paul that you did not have a computer whilst you suffered. I had wondered how it took you 10 years to find some answers that worked. I think to some extent the internet can be hazardous for anxiety, like forums, but I know i would have only got worse before finding your advice online. I guess it’s about finding the right information and sticking to it.

    I had a moment of realisation recently….
    I have been making good progress with my anxiety, but during my progress it has been very up and down. During the good times i remember feeling a kind of happiness and freedom that i’ve never felt before, but i think that was down to the joy of not being anxious. Yet when i felt anxious again, say the day after, it would be so furstrating. But as this cycle continued, i felt less overwhelming joy during the good times, but not as bad during the bad times. I’m guessing this was down to my body adjusting to not being bothered about how i was feeling, resulting in feeling more ‘normal’

  12. Anthony Says:

    Okay, so this morning I was home alone, and suddenly had a little panic attack. I ended up spending the day at my fiance’s work. I talked to her dad, who also works there and is an ex-anxiety sufferer, and he sounded exactly like Paul. He told me that I can’t force myself to feel well, it has to come naturally. I’ve been going to the gym, trying to eat healthy, hanging out with friends, but I’m expecting some miracle.

    As I’ve said before, my biggest frustration is trying to find out why my anxiety came back after being gone for so long. But I’m slowly realizing now that I’ve had quite a bit of stress building up. Stress can weaken your immune system, which might be why I had a viral infection, and brought back my anxiety.

    My constant analyzing and worrying is not letting my body naturally get better. I just need to go each day with a whatever attitude.

  13. Debbie Says:

    Anthony, you say your biggest frustration is trying to find out why your anxiety came back. you’ve proposed marriage (congratulations!) and that you’ve had a lot of work on. this is more than enough stress for anyone! the proposal is a HUGE deal and was probably on your mind for ages. so don’t beat yourself up about your anxiety returning, or try not too. just say, “oh well its back, thats a bummer, its gone before it’ll go again.”
    I was tallking to my mum last night about stress and all the funny things it can do to you, it can give you headaches, blurry vision, make you cry/scream, and make you ill.
    I hope that you start to feel better soon, i’m sure you will. We all will!
    With love to everybody x

  14. No More Anxiety Says:

    Anthony says above…………

    I am just constantly reminded of my anxiety, which at times can lead to a thought so scary or depressing that I might panic or cry. I just wish sometimes I could forget about it, and wish it never happened. But there are times, like at my buddy’s wedding or one time when I went bowling, where I hardly thought about it at all, and I was fine. I just hate the idea of having to change things just to get me to forget about anxiety. But I guess that is different than avoidance. I’m not hiding, I’m just making adjustments.

    Your frustration to just forget about it is holding you back, you can’t switch it off and on like a tap. If I am honest Anthony I still see a ‘I need this to be better overnight’ attitude in your posts. Think of it this way, someone can spend 10 years in prison and when they come out they are still in prison mode, it takes a long time for them to believe they can just go out without asking anyone or to go to the toilet or eat when they want. I have read books on this and it takes them a while to re-adjust, this is the same with anxiety. If you read a lot of what I say, it is all don’t rush things or demand anything, the person who becomes impatient and starts demanding things does go off and try other things, they become frustrated, let yourself have as much anxiety as your body wants you to have, if you don’t you fall back into fighting ‘Trying to do something about it’ You are trying to OVER CONTROL and this just makes the illness re-invent itself. You say ‘I just wish I could just forget about it’ again you mean ‘I just wish it would just all go away’ wrong attitude, it will be there for a while, it is bound to you have been through so much and if you don’t allow yourself to feel like this then you again begin to fight it, your body truly just wants to be left alone. I used to have days when I felt very self-aware, to the point where I could not concentrate for more than a few seconds. I used to fight this feeling, try to do something about it, force forgetfullness, get really frustrated by it, the harder I fought the worse it became…Why? Because I was giving it so much respect, concentrating on it and obsessing about it even more, well with this attitude it was bound to dominate my day even more apart from all the extra energy I was putting into fighting it. So the next time I just said ‘Be as bad as you want and even went towards it’ this change in attitude made it tamer and it did not seem such a problem, the moment I allowed it to be there completly then other things took my attention, this thing that bothered me so much did not seem as bad and without all the fighting and obsessing about the symptom then it did not have as much fuel to continue, I had mentally and physically relaxed towards it. Once you allow yourself to feel anyway you automatically let go and don’t add stress and worry to the mix, that is very important, most people believe if they go towards or allow themselves to feel a certain way they will get worse, they must fight and keep on a grip on themselves, when the opposite is true.

    Don’t think for one second that my recovery was easy, if I was warped back into my darkest days, I would have to go through so many good and bad days, I would have to go through a whole process, things would just ease in time, I could not demand or rush anything, I harp on about being happy with progress and this also means maybe having a really bad week when you feel you are back to square one, I had many of these, but just soldiered on and when I came through I seemed to get stronger, a setback never had the same effect.

    I believe the problem sometimes lies in the fact that you maybe doubt you can come through this way and then begin the big search for it all to go away, I am sure if this existed we would have heard of it by now, the fact is you have to go through the crap to reach peace. I am very impressed with Tarmos posts and attitudes on here, but I also believe he has this attitude and belief, not only because he truly believes in the message I am getting across, but also really understands it. This is what clicked with me, things really began to make sense, but it is like trying to learn a new subject, things begin to make more and more sense in time. I can tell sometimes in people’s post they still have not truly got what I am trying to say. Even in my book I try and explain the same thing in different ways, just to really get my message across, a different way of saying something can make a real difference to the person reading it.

    A.K seems on the right track with his statement below.

    I think it’s more, just doing all the things you would usually while anxiety is there, and if you get a thought thats scary or depressing, let it be there, pay it no great attention and say to yourself, its just an offshoot of anxiety, and when i recover it won’t be there. Therefore you reduce your fear of it, and in time you won’t panic or cry, you might even laugh at it, like paul said he used to.

    I got to the point where I did not have to tell myself anything, I was just so used to getting on with my day with my symptoms in the background that it came so naturally, again you are changing a habit and habits take time to change, but the more you just take each day as it comes and don’t feel the need to look back or forward, the easier things become. Sod the days when you did not feel like this, that is history, sod how long you have felt like this, that is not important, forget overnight recovery, it is not going to happen, the day people accept that simple fact, the easier it is for them to move forward……Always be happy with progress and don’t demand anything of yourself.

    Paul

  15. Anthony Says:

    I’m really struggling with the “just let the thought be there” idea. If I let it be there, I begin to dwell, and that’s when depression and panic come into play. I spent today at my fiance’s dad’s place, and I became very nervous, and started talking about my anxiety w/ him and my fiance, and I started the crying. I had to go to work, and I told myself that I need to do this to get this stuff off my mind, but as I was driving there, I just knew I couldn’t handle work today. So I went back to his house, and that’s where I am now.

    I have a fear that I will be like this forever. I get into self-pity. I admit that I just want this to go away. I’m doing it all wrong. Somedays I feel great, some I feel okay, and others I feel awful, like today.

  16. Tarmo Says:

    You’re not alone Anthony. The idea of starting to “just let the thought be there” sounds much easier than it is. It took a long time and for me as well and it’s difficult to explain how and why I finally managed to change my thinking but it kinda happens by itself when you start believing in it EVEN at the worse moments. My anxiety had gone so bad that I had lived in a depersonalised state for about 2 years and I was sure that I couldn’t get my life back. When I found Paul’s advice the first time I thought “this is it!” but I had to read it over and over again because I always slipped back to the old habits and stopped believing in it. Eventually, the information started to sink in and the road to recovery began.

    So my advice is that you should read Paul’s encouraging texts as long as you need to really learn it.

  17. Anthony Says:

    I am re-reading the text, and it always calms me down. I had a panic attack this morning, sweating like crazy, couldn’t fall back to sleep. I got up and walked the dogs, calmed myself down, started reading Paul’s book and actually fell asleep with it in my hands. lol

    I am actually having my fiance read it to me, which I think helps a lot so she has an understanding of where my head is at the present moment.

    When I had anxiety five years ago, I was put on Effexor, and within a few weeks I felt like myself again. But maybe it wasn’t the medication. I got a new job, went back to school, made friends, etc. I just stopped my worrying and analyzing.

    I know time will be my greatest healer. I just keep making bad decisions. I looked in the mirror yesterday and saw some grey hairs. I worried that my anxiety and stress was causing this. So I google searched and made myself worse.

  18. No More Anxiety Says:

    Anthony you keep answering your own questions. After all that I say you do the opposite by again worrying that maybe the grey hairs are caused by anxiety and googleing it, anxiety causes these thoughts and its up to you not to pay them any respect and this means learning why they happen and that they will come and they will, but you and you only have the power to act on them or not. As Tarmo says it takes time to change the pattern of thinking, but you have to give yourself a chance to, I can advise all day, but its up to the person to believe and act on what I say.

    You know I had all sorts of odd thoughts, awful symptoms and I mentally fought them and became frustrated by them. One day I just said’ You know what, do what you want’ that day was a turning point for me, yes I was still in a habit of trying to do something about it and become frustrated, but I turned a corner that day, the battle was over. As someone once said ‘While you are still complaining about how you feel, you are not accepting’

    Paul

  19. Rick82 Says:

    hi Paul
    Just a point id like to make which helped me. For the last few weeks i have been working away, In truth i was quite wound up about the situation but the money is very good and i thought it might be a good test for me. Well the first week went really well and i didn’t have time to ”think”. However the second week ive felt very on edge, Preventing me from my comfatable state of mind. Having more time to think about what was going on, self analizing myself constantly. Basically i put myself in that frame of mind and for a few day s later it took time for me to unwind. Everything seemed to return, racing thoughts, heart skipping beats, scary thoughts including those of not thinking i was ever going to get home!!!!! weird !!!!!!! it just felt like for every good positive thought i had, i also had two bad ones. What i have realised is that i was doing well before i went away, nothing had changed when i went away so therfore it was my ”thought processing” that had changed. I find your blog pages very inspiring. Your method is definatly what i would call the right path. ( interestingly i have no acess to the web where i am working even no phone signal so this also encouraged my thoughts to be negative) as i approach going away again at least for the next 3weeks (back at weekends) My mind still is a little foggy however i will definatly be taking my hard copy of your book to keep the bad thoughts at bay.
    Thank you
    Rick

  20. Anthony Says:

    It’s funny how my attitude changes from day to day. I woke up this morning, and seriously thought about what it says in the text. I’ve totally been in denial. I’ve been telling myself that I accept this, but I really haven’t been. I know now that my thoughts are triggered by my anxious state. I just couldn’t believe that I can’t control what goes on in my mind. I have been very impatient. It hasn’t even been two months. I trust in what you say, Paul.

  21. JoeyLowtown Says:

    Rick, I know what you mean about thoughts of not getting home. I went on holiday with my girl in Jan. Id been doing really good until then and it all came flooding back on holiday. I kept worrying about seeing home again. Stupid irrational fear haha. Hope everyone is ok today!

  22. Debbie Says:

    hi everybody. hope you have all had a lovely weekend! i;m in need of some advice, and i hate to write such a selfish post! its about my work, i’m a nurse and when my breakdown happened last april, i was signed off. do you think goin back to work will help? i feel so bored at home now! theres only so much cleaning you can do in 11 months! 😉 Seriously though i’ve been offered loads of support through my bosses to start slowly, in a fazed return kind of thing. What do you think?? My fuzzy head is still with me but when i’m ingrosed in something i can just about forget about it and the DP is something much less scary. I guess i’m just a bit scared about it! sorry for rambling on.
    I hope everybody is finding there path to recovery, i know i’m on mine. maybe work will really help get another focus into my life…
    thanks everybody
    love debs xx

  23. JoeyLowtown Says:

    I think you should go back. I had a few weeks off work when I was at my worst. I think having your daily structure helps no end with anxiety. I think you should take the support thats offered. It may do you lots of good!

  24. Paul McGowan Says:

    HI DEBBIE ,
    I THINK ITS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU SHOULD BE AT WORK , KEEPING TO A ROUTINE GIVES YOU LESS TIME TO DWELL ON YOUR ANXIETY , SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE MADE SOME PROGRESS WITH HOW YOU HAVE FELT IN THE PAST , JUST KEEP UP THE POSITIVE THINKING AND IMPLEMENT ALL THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU NOW HAVE , JUST LIKE THE REST OF US, HOPEFULLY YOU WILL BE COMING ON HERE IN THE VERY NEAR FUTURE FEELING SO MUCH BETTER .
    TAKE CARE
    PAUL

  25. No More Anxiety Says:

    Hi Debbie, I agree, when I felt at my worst I needed a break, but once I had that I felt I needed a structure to my day. Something to aim for and give myself another focus. I would say yes, you have now the knowledge and tools just to get on with your day and whatever it brings then thats fine. Remember all symptoms are just feelings, nothing else, a minor irritation at times, but hey so what.

    Do let us know how you get on, I am sure being back to being busy and having a another focus will do you the world of good.

    Paul

  26. Debbie Says:

    thank you so much guys, for the advice.
    I’ve taken the plunge and i’m heading back next wednesday! and you are right i do have the knowledge now to deal with anything!! i popped into work today and everyone was delighted i’m coming back! so thats nice!!! i maybe even am lookign forward to it a little bit!!
    i’ll let you all know how i get on.
    Thanks again :)
    Debs
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  27. Tarmo Says:

    I had been on a long holiday last summer (about 4 months) and in August I started my first real job as an elementary school teacher. I was terrified to start the work since it was the biggest responsibility that I had ever had and I was then in the worst condition of my life with a severe depersonalisation. At the same time I felt that it was exactly what I needed to move focus away from myself and now, after 8 months of working, I can say it really was. The autumn was very stressful and there were many days when I felt so bad that I wasn’t sure if I could take it much longer. But as I continued I started getting more and more confidence in myself as I realised that I actually manage to take care of the job just fine. If I had just stayed at home I think I would’ve gotten much worse. Now I actually like my job most of the time.

    Good luck Debbie, I think it was a great desicion to go back!

  28. No More Anxiety Says:

    Yes do let us know Debbie how you get on. I am sure it will benefit you, see it as a new chapter : ) : ) : ) : )

    Paul

  29. David Says:

    Hello everyone, my name is David and I am new to this blog. Hope everyone is ok. Finally after nearly two years of doctors visits, brain scans, food intolerance tests, to name a few, I finally think there is a name for what I feel. Depersonalisation! Since Feb ’07 I have fely spaced out or dizzy/lightheaded everyday and none if the specialists know why. This all started suddenly one day.

    I find that reading, working on a computer can make the feeling worse but I generally get it everyday and very sporadically. It’s hard to describe, like a congestion in my head or a lack of clarity. This whole problem makes concentration very difficult. I am glad to see that I am not alone with this and finding this website really does help.

  30. kyle Says:

    About 2 years ago,i was outside working and i suddenly got lightheaded and it got worse and suddenly a feeling went down my body and and i started shaking and feeling cold,and weak. Its like my body changed to a different feeling. My head is so tight feeling that i cant even move it.and all of this stuff im telling you,happens all day.Its like i feel like i have a illness,and its just there and i dont no what to do.Soon as i wake up in the mornin till i go to sleep.Now recently i started having a feeling that was shooting through my face,and it feeling like a electric shock throughout my body.

  31. kyle Says:

    And ya,its still here this day.

  32. angie Says:

    hello, first ofall im so glad that ive found this website i have had anxiety for as long as i can remember im 22 now and have made it threw alot of bad thoughts and hard hellish times becouse of i. and have looked threwalot of different websites to many to remember and have never found a website that relays so much on what i go threw its crazy some of you had or have the same anxietys i have or had threw out my years for me my anxiety is always there in the back of my mind but controllable and i will have somthing happin in my life like a change and it starts to spin out of control with “what it” thoughts somethimes they are really scary things but understand the pattern better now i understand how it starts and escalates to shear terror for four months about two years ago i thought for i was going to be a child molester becouse of a thought i had when looking at a pic i was so scared that i would sucome to my thoughts and that just scared me evan more and after a couple month i finally got over my thoughts and moved on but now i just found out i was about 5 weeks pregnant and i notice my anxiety is getting worse becouse of it..it was unplanned and i find myself having the what if thoughts again. im sorry I i must sound like im going and on im just really happy to have found this site.

  33. Candie Says:

    Hi Angie- welcome to the blog, i help Paul moderate the site and thought i would point you in the right direction! Old blog posts tend to get left behind, if you go to the latest post called ‘signing of for christmas’ you will find lots of people there and conversation!

    Im pregnant too and have suffered exactly the same thoughts, but stick around as iv managed to help myself and really have got a lot better. There are plenty of people on here who have suffered odd thoughts and recovered from there anxiety… hope to speak to you soon!

    Candie x

  34. jeremy Says:

    Hi my name is Jeremy and ive been struggling with anxiety for the past 2 years, it was at its worst in late 2007 i had a huge panic attack when my mom and i were in the airport, we were in our way to go to a doctor appiontment for a scan on my brain in the amen center, my anxiety was so bad that i couldnt get in the plane. so we decided to drive down to los angeles…. ive been seeing a physcologist and hes suscribed me with all sorts of pills but i had always had those odd thoughts..not till now ive been doing good now..im not taking the pills anymore but im still having those irrational thoughts wich could be draing i know when i excersise it does go away, i was thinking of taking a yoda dvd, see if that works.. i also recomend the midwest center it gives you tool to work with these scary thoughts…… thanks for your time

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