Anxiety tips, myths and other things
To start this new blog off I am going to start with a few things, just a few ramblings, call it anxiety freestyle. I will just ramble on and cover a few things. Before I do, this as you know is my first post. I want to try and fill the blog with information now and again, quality not quantity, but more than that create a community. The last blog had a few people follow it and post comments. I don’t have the time to answer personal emails on my site as I get swamped daily, but I do try and answer people through my blog where it is far more managable. I am not always the quickest due to my workload, but I do get around to it eventually. So don’t be a one time visitor, do try and pop back.
O.k firstly I had a request to cover eye floaters. This is where people seem to have grey dots floating around through their vision. Very common with anxiety, it is all to do with the muscles in your eyes, anxiety can create havoc with muscles and excess adrenalin and this can cause the floaters. I had them also, I just accepted them and paid them no respect, as usual, I did not obsess or stress about it and in time they when my anxiety calmed so did this symptom.
Next I want to cover something that I hear now and again from people who visit their doctor and are told ‘You may always have anxiety, you will just have to cope with it’. This I find incredible and it just shows their ignorance to the subject. More to the point I believe that as most have little clue how to treat it and so little success that they come to their own conclusion. Everyone can come through anxiety, I did and I know many, many others who have, people I have helped. I was about as bad as anyone could be, in fact I would say only 10% of people I come across suffered as badly as I did, I never saw a way out but I did. This was through educating myself and not following the path of medication and doctors advice. This is not to have a go at doctors, I know one or two do have some knowledge. The reason we seem to get so little help is because anxiety really is a subject in itself and doctors really can’t be expected to be fully educated on the subject.
I also want to tell everyone the importance of not rushing recovery. I had an email this morning from a woman who read my book and commented on how helpful it was. But the rest of her email suggested to me that she wanted to be cured by the end of it, to feel no symptoms at all. This I keep repeating is impossible. Your body needs a break to regain its balance, there is not a pill or sentence in the world that can make it all go away overnight. The real email of thanks are the ones I receive a while after someone has read the book, the people who have gone for progress and have taken the message on board and been more patient. These are the people who have made true progress. I was taught all those years ago, to not try and banish anxiety, rid myself of it, but to live along side it, to stop worrying and obsessing about it. This is why I cover everything in the book, I want people to fully understand why they feel like they do. To first lose your fear of something you need to understand. Again for someone to stop worrying and obsessing about how they feel, which keeps us in the cycle. They have to understand what is happening and forget any other myths about it being more than just anxiety.
Well just a few things there for you. I will try and post again soon. I hope you all have a good christmas and little stress.
Paul
For more help and information visit my main site www.anxietynomore.co.uk
For more information about my book ‘At last a life’ visit
December 14th, 2007 at 8:12 am
thanks for adding that bit on floaters. It helps to know that it is an offshoot of anxiety to see them more, and not a stand alone thing, which I was afraid of.
I guess now comes the part about not letting it bother me, like the rest of the symptoms. (damn you DP ! )
December 17th, 2007 at 5:41 am
You site has been helpful, i’ve looked at dozens of other ones and found nothing of use. I expect the book could be what I need to read to get on the right path. Thank you.
December 17th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Meryl your e-book should now be with you. I truly hope it helps you and I am glad you found the site helpful. That is exactly what it was put together for. I also found good information very hard to come by all those years ago.
December 24th, 2007 at 10:20 pm
Are you familiar with http://www.dpselfhelp.com forum? There are some ideas similar to yours, but no-one seems to talk about your book or ideas. You should make yourself known there, I think many people would find it very useful.
December 30th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Tarmo I am farmiliar with this site yes. I don’t though like to intrude on other sites. I also do get very busy and find it hard enough to run my own site. I also found it not to help me with D.P by going on forums, I felt it brought it to the forefront of my day and I wanted to leave it behind me. But it is a good site for people to land on who have no information on the subject. Just seeing they are not alone and there is a reason for the way they feel can help so much.
Paul
January 1st, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Yes, I agree that visiting these dp -sites too often does keep the subject on the forefront. That’s why I nowadays only read the survival stories, it can be a great help when reality get’s very scary. The same thing goes with your book: I hadn’t checked it for a while but one morning I was feeling really out of touch and I still needed to go to work. I needed to do something about it so I read a few chapters from your book and my mind got a lot more peaceful. I kind of started trusting in getting better again and lost the fear for a moment. It’s strange how we need to be reminded over and over again about the same things. And it’s frustrating how quickly the same fear can return.
“FEAR KNOCKED AT THE DOOR. FAITH OPENED. THERE WAS NO-ONE THERE.” Chris Moltisanti in Sopranos
January 2nd, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Hi everyone, i suffer from the floaters too so very reassuring to know its a sympton of anxiety. I have been suffering from anxiety for nearly a year now, mine came about after being struck down with an inner ear disorder which affected my balance and everything has just snowballed from there on. I have struggled to accept that i suffer from anxiety because i have never had this problem in my life, but i never would have imagined how much this condition has affected my life, i have turned into a scared, nervous, no self confidence, constantly worrying that somethings wrong with me, or somethings going to happen kind of person, who now has to think about everything he does.
I have found it helpful reading your website as i can relate to a lot of the symptons, although i seem to experience many others too which i find extemely worrying. I am definately going to get your book as i need to get better and return to the person i was a year ago. Life is just too short to be worring all the time!
January 2nd, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Tarmo, Yes it is something I learnt. The fact we need to remind ourselves of things from time to time. Mostly because we are trying to change things that have become automatic, again its like learning a new subject. If someone put a history book in front of us, reading it once will not mean we are an expert, we have to read it a few times before things truly sink in.
Kevin….The first step is to accept that you do have anxiety. Don’t feel too proud, having anxiety just means you have pushed your body or mind too far. You may have worried too much about the original problem of the inner ear and then found this led you there. The problem is then you now worry about how you are feeling, you don’t understand and worry even more, so you feel worse and worry more. This is the cycle that you need to reverse. I don’t push the book on anyone but I do feel it could help you so much. Don’t worry if you feel other symptoms that are not listed, I did to, but its all just anxiety based, don’t separate them into individual problems.
Paul
January 9th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Hi Paul,
I have just ordered your book and have found your website very encouraging. I have been anxiety free pretty much for 5 years but had a major relapse 5 weeks ago – which has really distressed me. What I am keen to discover was how yourself or other people felt when as you were recovering. I am no longer feel as anxious as I was 2 weeks ago – allthough I know too much thought could put me back there quite quickly, I still get intrusive scary/thoughts which I try not to react to. I think mine tends to come in waves, I feel better when distracted throughout the day when I am busy then feel extremely negative when a wave of anxiety hits and I feel resigned and sad that I may never come through this. Did you find the thoughts/waves were of the same intensity as they were when you were recovering and that you experienced less of them or did they become a more watered down version?
Any feedback would be great.
Thanks
January 10th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Rachael: I am sure the book will help you, do feel free to leave some feedback here. It is very important when you have a setback as you are now, not to go down the road of self-pity, here we go again, will I ever get better etc…Sometimes a familiar place or a certain memory can set an attack off. It is how you react to it that is important. I had bad days way after I recovered, they would just come out of the blue. I just shrugged my shoulders and said ‘Whatever’ I knew these times would pass. Even after recovery, memorys can still be fresh. My recovcery did not come when I no longer felt any anxiety, it came when it no longer bothered me. It did not have the fuel of fear and worry to feed on.
On the thoughts being watered down! They came with less force and less often, but mainly because I did not react to them, I just let them have their space understood that while I had anxiety they would come along and just got on with my day.
Hope that helps
Paul
January 13th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
I suffered from anxiety since 2006, it started when I was in the mall then suddenly i felt pain in my neck and felt dizzy. I still do not know what could have caused it (high-blood pressure or stress) but it was really a scary experience. Since then, I have not become my usual self anymore. The experience was so traumatic that now I have become a constant worrier if i would feel the same thing again. I am now a semi-agoraphobic (only afraid to go to places alone) I have become so consious with my health but to the point that I have avoided sports for fear of fainting. I already had done several checkups and they all turned out normal but i cant help but still worry that I may have an illness or something. I could already be considered a hypocondriac. This has already affected by relationships with my family and friends. I can’t stand this anymore!
I have the book as well and i have to admit it did help relieve me of my worries but there’s still a lot that has to be done before i could be back to my normal self.
Appreciate any advices that you may have. Thanks
January 14th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Jay, I know almost exactly what you are feeling because my anxiety condition started in a way that is very similar to yours. It started when for a moment (probably about a minute) when i started to see both eye floaters and some mild flashes of light. Already being moderately myopic, i let this worry be throughout the night. The next morning i woke up with this intense worry and i panicked in front of my family. The same day i visited both my optometrist and family doctor, and both said that my health and my eyes were perfectly healthy. At first, i thought this was over but i was sadly mistaken. I started to worry about my reaction and how i overreacted to my condition. What if something like this happened again. Would i react the same way. Would i need to visit the doctor and waste even more time to find out that there’s nothing wrong with me?
What i believe, Jay, is that your anxiety started with an uncomfortable sensation that you have never experienced before which caused you to worry moreso than any other experience you’ve had in your life. You’re not used to it, it was not pleasant, and you don’t want it to happen again so it’s perfectly understandable. The one advice that i could give you is to NOT research about your condition. This is probably the absolute WORST thing you could do to help your anxiety condition. I learned this the hard way. If you research your symptoms and search for that elusive disease that is plaguing your life. Because if we know what is wrong with us, there likely is going to be a cure for us. Eventually you’ll notice that many diseases have the same symptioms: dizziness, nausea, body pains, muscle aches etc.. I even convinced myself that i had an STD for a moment, even though at my state it is absolutely impossible. The main point is that researching will get you nowhere and that you already have the answer you need to at least eliminate most of your anxiety. I know this because you exclusively wrote, “already had done several checkups and they all turned out normal.” Believe me when i say this is all the advice you need to start your recovery. The doctor has already given you the thumbs up in that you are living a completely and healthy life, so any bodily sensation that you feel is irrelevant to your overall health. Your only obstacle is your anxiety condition and once you learn to just accept it, you will find yourself acting more yourself. Let’s face it, you aren’t semi-agorapohbic, aren’t avoiding sports, or becoming a hypochondriac because of some physical condition. It is your anxiety that is causing all this. Realize this and you will find your recovery. I also caution you to not rush things. Anxiety doesn’t just disappear. This was also one of the things that i expected during my continuing recovery. While many websites may promise to cure you instantly or with 12 easy steps, I believe that there is no measure on how long it takes to recover. It may take some time, but i believe that recovery is possible as there was one point where i thought i would live this way forever. So keep this in mind. Don’t expect yourself to get back into the full swing of things in one day or one week. Let it come naturally and you will find yourself living like this never happened.
January 19th, 2008 at 2:05 am
Frank,
Thanks for the advice, truly appreciate it. Actually I was quite normal again for about 2 months after my first anxiety attack probably because I didn’t think about it but one day I remembered again that horrific experience and bang!, the endless worries and fear hound till this day. I know very well that accepting is the key to recovery but I just cant help but sometimes fear the physical sensations (headache, muscle pain, feeling of lightheadedness) especially when I am out alone and in a crowded place. It’s really hard especially when all you think is what I make a scene like fainting in front of many people.
I have been going out every week on a date with my girlfriend with this same fear thinking that this may be the day that I would feel really bad and make a scene and every time my predictions always fail and I manage to go home safe. Shouldn’t this experience make me realize that I should not worry anymore? How come its so hard to stick this though in my very stubborn head?
Can my thoughts really control the physical sensations I’m experiencing? If I don’t think or worry would it go away. These are the fears that run through my head most of the time:
1. That I have a heart problem.
2. That I have an unknown disease.
3. That I would faint unexpectedly.
4. That I would make a fool out of myself in public
It’s weird that these fears have no other basis except for the initial anxiety attack I had. These are the fears that make me avoid sports or even exercise (especially when I hear or read about athletes dying during a game), or go out in unfamiliar places.
It’s really disappointing that before this entire anxiety experience, I am a worry-free happy go lucky person. Heck I was so active and can walk to far places alone and play sports everyday (I can even play an entire 40 minute game of basketball). But now I feel so weak that Im like a 27 year old trapped in a 65 year old body. I wonder if I could become that same person again.
I really hope this would end soon, If only I could change my thoughts and feel no pain Im sure ill be ok. This has already affected my social life. People may think I am weird already.
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Jay,
sounds to me that you indeed are worrying A LOT, which prevents you from getting better. In my opinion it’s good to discuss these thoughts and let them come out every now and then (through conversation or writing) but it is crucial what happens BETWEEN these conversations or writing sessions. I mean, it makes a huge difference whether you keep observing yourself (=obsessing) all the time or concentrate on living your life and leave analyzing to those moments only.
I have learnt about myself that self-analyzing is usually useless and harmful but good discussions are very helpful. I guess this means that I’m not very good talking to myself, my thoughts are much better organized when I share them with someone.
January 23rd, 2008 at 7:39 pm
There were times when I found myself overwhelmed with thoughts and found it hard to carry on with my day. As Tarmo said, I needed to just have a little chat with myself ‘Paul this is just an overwhelming day’ or ‘My mind is more tired than normal, but that’s fine’ . I just needed a little pep talk from time to time and then the rest of the week I just got on with living. I may even have to write something down as suggested until I felt more able to think clearly, just a little something like ‘Its fine’ Again these were just to get me through the really tough days.
Paul
January 28th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Hi Paul.
I sent you an email a little while ago about medication and what I should do, but after reading your blogs and other things on the site, I realize that email was going to do me no good.
Anyway, I began having anxiety problems when I was 19 years old. I started feeling nervous, nausious, had trouble sleeping, eating, etc. Normal anxiety symptoms.
My medical doctor prescribed me Effexor XR, and for four years, I have felt great. I’m 25-years-old now. Since then, I’ve gotten engaged, I’m finishing up college, and have made some great friends.
A few weeks ago, I had a battle with the flu, and suddenly my anxiety problems had returned. I get nervous when it’s time to eat because I’m worried I won’t be able to, my sleep gets interrupted sometimes because I have so much adrenaline going through my body, and my mind is constantly worrying and analyzing everything I do, comparing how I feel at the present moment to how I felt before I had anxiety problems.
I went to my doctor and he simply doesn’t understand.
“So what is causing the anxiety? There has to be something bothering you. Do you want me to increase your Effexor?” He did me no good.
I have had some traumatic episodes occur in my young life. Both of my parents have passed away, my brother passed away…I’ve seen a lot of unfortunate endings of lives of people that were so important to me.
But there really isn’t at the present moment bothering me. Things are going so well in my life right now. I’ve gotten over…well, you never really get over, but I’ve pretty much accepted the deaths of loved one in my life. I went to see a psychotherapist recently, and told her everything, but I didn’t feel like some great stress leaving my shoulders. She thinks I need a change in meds.
I don’t get sick very often. I’m usually on-the-go, doing something. But the flu really wore me out. I’m just not sure why this is suddenly happening again. I’ve been out of work for about two weeks, and I’m nervous about going back, cause I might not feel like myself even at work.
I am going to start exercising, and eating right, even though my appetite isn’t what it was before I got sick. I haven’t done those things in a few years. For awhile, I was a total health nut. Not so much these days.
I am getting out of the house, doing things with family and friends. But even when I’m doing those things, I just keep analyzing all the time.
January 29th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Firstly Anthony as it says on my contact page, I don’t reply to personal emails. I get absoutely swamped daily, it just becomes impossible. I turn up here from time to time to show that I am not some faceless person behind a website.
All you have to do is read your post above to realize why you are feeling bad again. I am not sure if you have read my book or not, but you are doing the exact opposite if what it says and this is why you feel you are falling back into the anxiety cycle. Your worrying about going back to work in case you feel bad, instead of ‘If I feel bad then so be it, its only a feeling’ you are worried about eating, self analyzing why you have begun to feel like this again, comparing how you were a few months back to now, is it any wonder you feel like you do. A healthy body would struggle to feel good under that amount of worry and pressure, never mind one with anxiety. This is exactly how people get into a cycle, they feel bad and then worry about it, the very fuel anxiety needs to continue. You need to do the exact opposite. If you have the book re-read it, if you don’t then its your choice, but it will really help you understand what you should and should not do.
Regards Paul
February 2nd, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Okay, just an update here. This week I’ve been feeling much better. I’m eating again, sleeping much better, and not worrying so much. I figured that the flu just took a toll on my body, and messed with my anxiety.
Well, I went back to work yesterday for the first time in almost 3 weeks, and instantly I felt anxious inside. I was nervous, and things just didn’t seem real. Maybe it’s because I was gone for so long, I don’t know. It took about an hour or so till I felt comfortable, and I was okay for the rest of the night.
After I got home from work, I was on my laptop, and I suddenly felt panicky and felt short of breath. And today I kinda feel the same, and don’t have much of an appetite. I’m just really frustrated with this whole thing.
February 10th, 2008 at 11:26 am
I felt I should write my scenario just as a little thanks to paul and maybe Anthony can relate to.
I suffered my first panic attack a month or so before christmas, it was when i was out with my girlfriend having a meal. I had no idea what was happening or why it was happening but all that i could think of is ‘oh no i’m going to collapse right here in front of everybody in the restaurant’. Of course, then i associated this feeling with eating and everytime i went to sit down to eat, i would think ‘please not now, i NEED to eat’. So i got worse and eventually i became anxious all day every day. I luckily found Paul’s website and i could relate to it but i didn’t think my symptoms were associated with anxiety, more of an eating disorder. However,after reading Paul’s book i soon found out that putting into practice the new attitude i am improving. I now go into my day as… ‘i’m going to feel anxious as i have anxiety, i’m going to feel panic when eating as i have taught my body to do so’.
On the whole so far my anxiety levels have dropped significantly, i am beginning to understand WHY anxiety happens. Although i still feel like a sponge at some stages, as i absorb every little problem, for example.. i have a bad nights sleep, as people do from time to time… but because of my anxious state i was about to type ‘help with sleep’ into a search engine when i realised, and almost laughed at myself, that this is part of anxiety. My body has been tuned into high alert to exaggerate every minor issue.
I truely reccommend to anybody suffering to give the book a try. I’m somebody who craves answers and won’t stop until i get them, hence my anxious state got worse until an explanation was given.
February 11th, 2008 at 11:59 am
I remember you first emailing me Dan, really good to know that things are improving. Welcome to the blog and thanks for sharing your story. I think other people’s stories of improvment are encouraging to others.
September 15th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
hi paul is it normal to feel disconnected from your self all the time this symptom has me in shambles what do i do
October 14th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
hiya damian, i too also feel disconnected from myself all the time and i have been like this for nearly 4 years, i feel like i cant see properley and i see things like im in a constant stare, i dont know if anyone else has these symptoms please let me know if anyone knows why this happens with anxiety……….. and if it is an anxiety symptom……….
December 28th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
I have yet to buy your book, I have no credit card or paypal yet but I really enjoy this site and it has helped me tremendously. My anxiety started when I had a panic attack one night. Since then I cannot stop obsessing about my breathing and it is driving me crazy. I feel if I could stop obsessing I could get better. I feel I am at the end of my rope and I do not want to go on meds cause I know I could beat this on my own…Any advice to stop obsessive thoughts?
I have tried pep talks to myself and sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t, also when I am very distracted I do not suffer at all.. The rest of my anxiety symptoms I am o.k with in that they don’t scare me and I ignore them,other then the depression that settles in once in awhile…
Thanks so Much!
Sarah
January 10th, 2009 at 10:28 am
I was in a period of anxiety and stress and once I was playing basketball,my heart palpitated and I got really anxious…Then I started noticing blue field entoptic phenomenon.You know this?Then the next day BANG!I got floaters in both eyes..So you think my anxiety caused me to notice this?Btw I’m only in my early teen age.
January 31st, 2009 at 8:17 pm
I just wanted to say thank you Paul. I know that God sent me to your site for a reason. I am 30 years old and my first anxiety attack about a month ago. My daughter had started the terrible two’s with hitting me, throwing fits, throwing things, acting out, etc…I started really worrying about it one night while out to eat with my family, I felt this feeling like I was on fire and like I was being choked. I was able to calm down from it but couldn’t stop worrying about what had happened and how I was going to be able to control my daugter. The next morning, bamb. There it was anxiety. I had the tied band around my head, racing thoughts, etc…That next week came the depersonalization at work and so more scary thoughts, etc…I came across your website at work purchased your book right away. I have read it and re-read it many times along with Hope & Help for Your Nerves by Claire Weeks and I have been able to get past most of the scary thoughts and the depersonalization has gone away. However, I still have the lingering anxiety, especially in the mornings but I am progressing and I know I will fully recover, I just have to keep accepting, floating and let time pass and stop worrying about how I will handle other situtations in my daughters life where I feel out of control. Thank you so much!
February 25th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Hi Susan, I am 23 and not a mother, but I can relate to what you’ve described. That is how my anxiety always begins. Something weird happens like I’ll have an anxiety symptom or a panic attack, and then the next morning BAM anxiety, and it just becomes constant. I’ve been suffering this for 4 months now. I have had 2 previous episodes where I had constant anxiety that I’ve come out of. I always think I’ve defeated it and I’m “normal” again, but it seems to always come back when I least expect it. It’s almost surreal to me that I’m going through it again right now after having so many months of being free. It’s very frustrating. My question to everyone/Paul is, how do you know when you are really recovered for good? I guess I still had the fear, but it’s so hard to lose it because this really turns my life upside down.
January 10th, 2012 at 7:14 pm
Hi Paul,
Thank you for recommending your blog to me through email, your posts have already clear up some of the confusions I’ve had about what has been in your book. Here in this blog, you stated,
“I used to have all sorts of odd, obsessive thoughts and I just gave them their space and let them be. NEVER as stated above try not to think them.”
So instead of not trying to think of the worry thoughts that come into my mind. Should I try to think about them, but that would be doing something, so should I be open to them? Not looking for nor hiding away?
Thank you,
-Ben