Archive for December, 2007

Anxiety, how do I stop it?

Sunday, December 30th, 2007

This question I get asked very often. ‘Paul how do I stop my anxiety’ Well again this is unfortuntely why they stay in the cycle. They spend all their time trying to rid themselves of how they feel. I wrote in my book that this is like having a broken leg and hitting it each day with a hammer. Well it is never going to heal. This is the same with anxiety.

If you read my story on my main site you will see that I suffered for 10 years, was I unlucky? Did I take longer to recover than others? No its because I spent all my days trying to rid myself of how I felt. I also spent everyday fighting, trying to control my symptoms. All day worrying about them, going around and around in my mind each day trying to find the answers out of this hell, only to hit one brick wall after another.

The truth is recovery is all about ‘Not doing’ anything about it. I feel one of the major flaws of people who write books, therapists etc is that they tell you to ‘Take breathing exercises’ , ‘To imagine your on a beach’ ‘To count to 10’ . This in my opinion is all wrong. I don’t want to go around thinking I have to do this or that. I recovered because I let my body get on with feeling awful, uncomfortable. I finally stopped worrying each day, going around in circles and getting nowhere. I stopped fighting how I felt. This was so important to my own recovery. To do this I had to have an understanding of why I felt like did, again this is why knowledge is so important.

So the message is to step out of your own way and give up the daily battle with yourself, surrender yourself to how you feel and you may find a peace you never knew existed.

For more help and information visit my main site

For more information about my book ‘At last a life’ visit

What are these feelings of unreality I feel / depersonalisation?

Monday, December 17th, 2007

This was a very popular post on my last blog before I lost the info. So I have decided to write about this condition once more. Depersonalisation does not just occur with anxiety sufferers but as that is what my subject matter is I am just going to talk about it affects and why it occurs with anxiety.

Firstly depersonalisation is the feeling of detachment from oneself. People say they cannot connect with the world around them, like it is grey and hazy. They may feel as though they are acting their way through the day, like a robot with no or little emotions. I suffered very badly with this symptom also, in fact before I understood it, it scared the hell out of me and is one thing in my book I cover as much as any other symptom.

Again it is the not understanding, the bewilderment of how and why we feel like we do. We worry about it, question it. Well unfortunatley this is what can make us fall deeper into the condition. I spend weeks, months worrying that I was going crazy, thinking deeply day in day out. It makes total sense to me why I got worse and not better over the years. Again it was a lack of understanding.

Depersonalisation is in fact your body’s way of protecting you. It protects you from all the worry and the stress, it sorts of shuts down your emotions and feelings to protect you from yourself. The trouble is we then begin to worry about this new symptom and the feelings continue. I always say that while you worry and obsess about this feeling of detachment you will continue to suffer. You need to pay it no respect, to allow yourself to feel like this and not fight or try and force normal feelings. Don’t worry or obsess that you feel odd, let it be part of your day and you may begin to feel some peace.

With the right help and information I was able to lead myself back to normal living. For more help and advice on this subject visit this page on my main site.

For more information about my book ‘At last a life’ visit

Anxiety tips, myths and other things

Tuesday, December 11th, 2007

To start this new blog off I am going to start with a few things, just a few ramblings, call it anxiety freestyle. I will just ramble on and cover a few things. Before I do, this as you know is my first post. I want to try and fill the blog with information now and again, quality not quantity, but more than that create a community. The last blog had a few people follow it and post comments. I don’t have the time to answer personal emails on my site as I get swamped daily, but I do try and answer people through my blog where it is far more managable. I am not always the quickest due to my workload, but I do get around to it eventually. So don’t be a one time visitor, do try and pop back.

O.k firstly I had a request to cover eye floaters. This is where people seem to have grey dots floating around through their vision. Very common with anxiety, it is all to do with the muscles in your eyes, anxiety can create havoc with muscles and excess adrenalin and this can cause the floaters. I had them also, I just accepted them and paid them no respect, as usual, I did not obsess or stress about it and in time they when my anxiety calmed so did this symptom.

Next I want to cover something that I hear now and again from people who visit their doctor and are told ‘You may always have anxiety, you will just have to cope with it’. This I find incredible and it just shows their ignorance to the subject. More to the point I believe that as most have little clue how to treat it and so little success that they come to their own conclusion. Everyone can come through anxiety, I did and I know many, many others who have, people I have helped. I was about as bad as anyone could be, in fact I would say only 10% of people I come across suffered as badly as I did, I never saw a way out but I did. This was through educating myself and not following the path of medication and doctors advice. This is not to have a go at doctors, I know one or two do have some knowledge. The reason we seem to get so little help is because anxiety really is a subject in itself and doctors really can’t be expected to be fully educated on the subject.

I also want to tell everyone the importance of not rushing recovery. I had an email this morning from a woman who read my book and commented on how helpful it was. But the rest of her email suggested to me that she wanted to be cured by the end of it, to feel no symptoms at all. This I keep repeating is impossible. Your body needs a break to regain its balance, there is not a pill or sentence in the world that can make it all go away overnight. The real email of thanks are the ones I receive a while after someone has read the book, the people who have gone for progress and have taken the message on board and been more patient. These are the people who have made true progress. I was taught all those years ago, to not try and banish anxiety, rid myself of it, but to live along side it, to stop worrying and obsessing about it. This is why I cover everything in the book, I want people to fully understand why they feel like they do. To first lose your fear of something you need to understand. Again for someone to stop worrying and obsessing about how they feel, which keeps us in the cycle. They have to understand what is happening and forget any other myths about it being more than just anxiety.

Well just a few things there for you. I will try and post again soon. I hope you all have a good christmas and little stress.


For more help and information visit my main site

For more information about my book ‘At last a life’ visit

New Coffee Lounge – Off Topic Only

Thursday, December 6th, 2007


Well as promised here is the off topic lounge

I wanted to create this so people could chat about every day things and have a break from the subject of anxiety, I always feel it is very important to have a break. It will also give people the chance to get to know others and share things about themselves.

There is only one rule and that there is no anxiety talk/advice etc, all other posts should be used for this.

Rather than keep searching here for this part of the blog just place it in your favourites.

Kettle is on so settle in